University of Virginia Library

Scena prima.

Enter Barbarino & Machavil.
Bar.
He cannot counterfeit so much.

Mac.
I know not,
But if he do not surely he is mad;
What wild phantastick things he does, and talks
Of Eo, Meo, and Areo, names
Unheard i'th the Court before!

Bar.
Some Milain Counts
I warrant you he means by them.

Mac.
The strangest thing of all is the release
Of Brunetto, and his extraordinary love unto him,
Whom he hath caused richly to be clothed.

Bar.
And useth him as if he were his better.

Enter Horatio.
Mac.
Yonder's the man we talk of; what a change
We see! A prisoner but lately lockt up safe,
And now to be the wonder of the Court.

Hor.
Next Eo, Meo, and Areo, the Duke
Doth swear he loveth me; but who those are
I cannot tell nor learn: my Lords, good day,
Saw you his Highness lately?

Bar.
No sir.

Hora.
You speak as tho you were displeased.

Mac.
We are not well contented Sir.

Hor.
The Duke is noble, utter your grievances to him.

Bar.
So we will Sir.

Enter Trappolin
Mac.
And now Sir,
Know worthy Prince we are your loyal subjects,
And what we say is for your honour.

Trap.
If it be for my honour Ile hear you,
But be as brief as you will.

Mac.
Your Highness hath lately released Branetto.

Trap.
Tis a thing very certain.

Mac.
We doubt not but done out of clemency,
Not knowing why he lay there.

Trap.
Well, why was he put there?

Mac.

Even for your Honour sake (most Gracious
Sir) The Lady Prudentia your sister loves him.

Trap.

Say you so? So ho Puchanello, So ho!

Puch.

Who calls?

(Within.)
Bar.

His Highness; come hither presently.

Trap.

Bid the guard enter.

Enter Puchanello and the Guard.

You say Brunetto was put in prison because my sister
lov'd him, you think it good and fitting he were
there again.

Bar.

So please your Highness, yes.

Trap.

Puchanello take me these two Coxcombly
Lords into your Custody; they are never well but
when they are banishing some body, or doing some
mischief or other: Brunetto was laid in prison because
my sister lov'd him, and lay me these there

because I love them.

Mac.
Beseech your Highness not to deal so hardly
With us whom you have known so faithful to you.

Trap.

Puchanello, away with them I say: you of the
Guard see them in.

Bar.
Most worthy Prince be merciful, if we
Have done amiss twas out of ignorance.

Trap.
Sirra rogue away with them, or Ile lay up you too.

Puch.
Your Honours must have patience and walk.

Mach.
There is no remedy.

Bar.
The heavens be merciful to Florence;
VVhat ill malignant starre hath so depriv'd
Our wise and noble Duke of all his reason,
That he remembers not who are his friends?

Ex.
Hor.
The Gods be ever most propitious;
Great Sir, unto you, and continue long
Your life, chief honour of the Medices.

Trap.

Prince Horatio I am your servant, I pray you forgive
me my calling of you by your nick-name of
Brunetto; my sister hath told me you are the Son of
the Duke of Savoy, besworn unto you I am very
sorry I have not used you as befitted you, but it
was your fault that told me not who you were: I
have talked with Prudentia, and she loves you she
saies, which I am glad on, and Ile marry you as
soon as you will.

Her.
Sir, it is true I am Horatio,
Son of the Piemond Prince; but being his second,
I durst not think me worthy of such honours
As your Highness hath done me; and therefore told
None but your beauteous sister who I was.

Trap.
Enough my friend; and Prince Horatio,
Could you suppose I would deny my sister,
Though she were made of Gold and precious stones,
Unto your Highness, and to such a friend?
You do deserve a better wife then she;
She's not half good enough for you, and if
I had another sister, you should have them both.
My friend a Prince! I'm very glad i' faith,
But sorry that I did not know you such,
That I might have done you right: wood I were hang'd
If you are not far a better man then I.

Hora.
Great Prince, you do forget your self.

Trap.

Your Highness must pardon me, I do remember
my self well enough, yet Eo, Meo, aad Areo,
have made me something proudish, but howsoever
I am your servant, Prince Horat. i' faith I am
your very dutiful servant: how sa you now, the
Duke of Savoyes son! i' faith I am your poor servant
Lavin the Duke of Florence.

Hora.
I am amaz'd; he's mad:
Beseech your Highness leave, I pray you Sir.

Enter Mattemoros the Spanish Captain with petitioners.
Trap.

What have we here now, do's the Captain
bring us Morris-dancers? what lobs are these tro?

Mat.

So please your Highness, being importun'd much
these I have brought before you, that you might,
do justice.

Trap.

Captain Mattemoros, justice I'le do with all
my heart, but execution let do who will for me.

Calfshead.
Great Duke of Tuscany, vouchsafe to hear me,
For what I speak is out of conscience;
This fellow Mr. Bulflesh a Butcher, I saw
Verily with mine own eyes even yesternight
(When he was drunk) to kill my man, which he
Swore was good Beef, and he would sell it dear.

Bulf.

Sirra Puritan you are a base scoundrel, was
not I drunk in your company to make you merry?

Calfes.

But Mr. Bulflesh, you do know, and that full
well, that I praied you on my knees for your own
souls sake to drink no more, and profess'd to you
that it was a great abominable sin in you to fox
your self, or be foxed.

Bulflesh.

Goodman Calfeshead, you are a base scurvie
Companion; do you not know that for your sake
I killed your man, (yet I meant but only to beat
him soundly) because he pour'd not the wine into
your Codpiece? did not I do it out of friendship unto
you? did I not you puritan you, and you to complain?
O the ingratitude of Puritans!

Trap.

Peace both of you. Master Puritan hold your
tongue I say: wil not Calfeshead be drunk Bulflesh?

Bulf.

So please your Highness no, he will let a man

sooner hang him then make him drunk; Besides,
he is a fellow of strange opinions, and hath sent
his sonne to Geneva, to hear Iack Calvin preach.
He stole a Surpless to make his Amorosa a Smock
of; and hath writ a paultry Book against the Bishops,
printed at Amsterdam in Decimo sexto. He
will lie and steal without comparison; is both for
Boyes as well as Queans when he hath mony:
And like a true Italian Hypocrite, is for any sin or
mischief but our Drinking.

Trap.

Then know I very well how to do justice: Mr.
Calfeshead, you say the Butcher kild your man
when he was fox't, be you fox't when you will and
then kill him for't.

Calf.

Heavens defend, I nere was drunk yet, and
never will be.

Hora.

There is mad justice; he doth increase my
wonder.

Calfs.

Bless me, murther! I would not do it for the
world.

Mat.

This is strange justice, the Butcher doth very
wel deserve to be sent into the Gallies at Ligorn.

Trap.

I have done with you Mr. Puritan, you may be
gone to the Tavern; and Bulflesh you may get you
to the Shambles as soon as you will, for I have no
more to say to either of you.

Exeunt Calfsheead & Bulflesh.
I am ready for the next; speak therefore.

Barne.
Most excellent Prince, pity a childless father;
As yesterday my only Sonne did walk
Under an house, this fellow Gaffer Tiler,
Who was a working on it, did fall down
Upon my son, and kil'd him with his fall.

Tiler.

Mr. Barne be not so eager, you know I bore
your son no malice, and that it was a hundred to
one I broke not my own neck.

Trap.
This is an easie matter to conclude;
Friend Barn, you say this Gafter Tiler
Fell off a house, and so did kill your son;
I will be very upright in my justice,
Go you upon the house from whence he tumbled,
(And he shall stand beneath) and fall on him.

Mat.

And the Duke be not stark mad, I am to think
him so.

Barn.

So I may break my own neck.

Hor.

He strangely is distracted.

Trap.

Neighbour Barn, get you about your business,
for I have done with you.

Barn.

I must have patience.

Exeunt Barn and Tiler.
Trap.

Now let me make an end with these, and I
have done.

Mrs. Fine.
Daign, Noble Duke, to hear my just complaint,
I am a poor and an unfortunate widow;
This man Dick Whip, as the other day he drove
His coach, run over a little child of mine
That was playing in the street, and kild it.

Trap.
Sirra Whip, is this true?

Whip.
So please your Highness I confess it is.

Trap.

It doth not please me, nor displease me, for I

neither did it, nor was the child mine.

Whip.

It was against my will, a thing of chance,
Mrs. Fine cannot deny it.

Trap.

Mrs. Fine, you are a widow you say?

Mrs. Fine.

A poor unhappy one I am.

Trap.

You say that Whip the coachman hath kil'd
your child; and how he did it I have understood.

This is my justice, I will do you right;
Whip shall lie with you untill he get you another.

Mat.
Madder and madder.

Hora.
I cannot choose but smile.

Whip.

Most willingly, so please your Highness I am
well content to do her that satisfaction.

Mrs. Fine.

You shall be hang'd first, that you shall,
is thus my expectation fail'd?

Trap.

Mrs. Fine be rul'd, I will have justice done,
Whip shall lie with you; you may marry him
and you will: he kil'd your child, and he shall get
you another, I say but right, and Sirra Whip look
unto't, and you play the bungler and fail, you
shall to Ligorn and learn to row: Mrs. Fine be
contented, and you do not like him you might
have held your tongue, for I know no body that
sent for you, and so get you both gone.

Whip.
The Heavens preserve your Highness.

Exeunt.
Trap.
My friend and Prince Horatio, go unto
My sister, bid her to prepare her self,
I'le have you married within this day or two;
I long to see you both in bed together.

Hora.
Most willingly I will do such a message,
The Gods preserve you happily.

Exit.
Mat.
A strange discovery if true.

Trap.

Seignior Captain, I say I have done very
good justice, and in a little time too, I am not like
your scarlet coats that will do nothing without
mony; a company of fellows they are whose
beards and hearts agree not together.

Mat.

Your Highness doth dispatch things very
soon.

Trap.

Though I am the Duke yet I love to do no
hurt, as other men in authority would, I hate to
banish men as Machavil and Barb. ha done: alas
poor Trappolin, I hear they have banisht an honest
poor man cald Trap. what the Divel Seignior
Mat. came in their heads to send a poor fellow
away out of his country without any money?
though men may sometimes gather a reasonable
Sallet abroad, he shall get no oyle to eat it withall.

Mat.
Great Duke of Tuscany, our noble Master,
That Trap. of whom your Highness speaks,
Had little fault in him, (good faith) at all
Saving he was a most notorious coward.

Trap.

Why you Don of guns or pikes, do you think
every mans mind is given to the wars? Trap. was
addicted to the peace, a poor fellow full of courtesies;
one that will never deny to do a favour for
a friend: I will have a little sport with my Don
of the wars; O me, Sir Captain, look yonder: Eo,
Meo and Areo, I will put you off for a while, I

will try some conclusions.

Mat.
Your Highness! wher's the Duke gon I marle;
What Trappolin, art thou come again?
Faith many a wench in Florence will be glad;
Follow thy old trade, be a Pander still.

Trap.

Seignior Captain I am your humble slave, and
if I can do you any kindness at any time, i'faith
Don Mathemores you shall command me—and
if you have but a mind to any Beauty in Florence,
pay but me well for my pains, and her well for
hers, and I will not fail you; and Captain I can
give you a delicate poyson to dispatch any enemy
with whom you dare not fight.

Mat.
I see thou art resolv'd to be a rogue,
Tis pity that his Highness did repeal thee;
Next time I see him, sirra Pimp, I will
Make suit to have you sent into Ligorn.

Trap.

You Spanish coxcomb, go hang your self, do
your worst.

Mat.
Wer't thou a souldier I wood fight with thee,
Being a rogue thou dost deserve my foot;
Take this you rascal.

Trap.

I will presently be out of his debt—who's
yonder? it is the Duke or I am deceiv'd; Eo, Meo,
and Areo, on agen, my hat, my glass, and cloke,
sit close: how now sirra Captain, where are your
manners? what do you think of me, who am I
tro? I am not your Lieutenant am I? stoop and
take up your hat, and let me see if it will not become
your hand as well as your head in my presence.

Mat.

I did not see your Highness.

Trap.

Will you lie too? take that and learn to speak
truth.

Kicks him.
Mat.
Most Noble Prince, and my most royal Master,
Pardon the error which unwillingly
I have committed; in Tuscany there lives not
A man that freelier for your sake would lose
His life then I.

Trap.
Well, get you gone, I do
Forgive you; but my Don at armes, remember
The Duk's to be observ'd, he is the man
That doth maintain you.

Mat.
And most worthy Prince,
Did but occasion shew it self, I would
Venture and lose my life to do you service.

Exit.
Trap.

And my Father Conjurer would come into
Florence, I would make him the next man unto
my Highness; he is a good man, and it is great
pity that he should go to the Divel, as they say
Conjurers and Witches do: well, I am a brave fellow,
I love to see my self in my glass, I am the
Duke 'ifaith, the very Duke, I see me.

Enter Flametta.
Flam.

I will go and petition him agen.

Trap.

My rogue Flametta, I could kiss her to pieces,
bite off her lips, and suck out her eyes I love
her so well.

Flam.
The great Duke of Tuskany the gracious heavens
Prosper your Highness ever, I am the same
That lately did intreat for the repeal
Of my Beloved sweetheart Trappolin:
Most excellent Sir, pity my earnest suit,
And let me have my Trappolin recal'd.

Trap.

This is a very precious villain, how she loves
me! and I ever marry while I am a Duke by Eo,
Meo and Areo's leave I will have her,—your
name little maid, is Flametta, as I remember?

Flam.

So please your Highness, yes.

Trap.

You sue to have banisht Trappolin come
home?

Flam.

Most humbly, most excellent Sir, I do.

Trap.

Well 'tis all as please Eo, Meo and Areo, I
can do nothing without them, and (my young
Mistress) as long as they are in authority, I can
do little for you.

Flam.

Then by your Highness leave, do I wish Eo,
Meo, and Areo in the fire.

Trap.

Methinks they should be enough in that already,
for the Divel made them all; now I think
well on't, sometime when I have good opportunity
I will off with my things and have a little
sport with her: since, fair Maid, you are so earnest
for your sweetheart Trappolin, he shall come
home very shortly, he shall believe me, but upon
condition I will do it.

Flam.

On any condition except my honour Sir.

Trap.

That he shall lie with you.

Flam.

Were we but married, most willingly.

Trap.

If he gives you his oath to have you, will not
that suffice?

Flam.

I had rather we had married before.

Trap.

You need not fear, should he swear unto you
and break his oath, I would hang him, and
yet (though I nere mean to break my word with
her) I faith I should very hardly hang my self for
any thing; the rope is a very dismal thing.

Flam.

Shall he come home, say the word Noble
Prince.

Trap.

Well on my word he shall as soon as possibly
I can, but on that condition that you will accept
of him without marriage, upon his oath to
have you.

Flam.

I see his Highness is mad (as every body
saies) otherwise what should ail him to talk thus?
most excellent Prince, he and I would not disagree.

Trap.

Well here is my hand, he shall come home
shortly, now I must have a kiss and leave you: I
am very hungry, I ha been so long a doing justice
that I am very hungry, give me a buss sweetheart.

Kisses her.
Flam.

Heaven bless your Highness.

Exeunt severally.