 | The Hvmorovs Covrtier |  |
Actus 4.
Scæn. I.
Enter Dutchesse, Laura, Carintha.Dut.
VVas not Orseollo's humour, recreation
To thee Carintha?
Car.
I spent all my thoughts
In wonder Madam.
Dutch.
He began to soften—
Lau.
We tam'd his Tiger violence, not Magicke
Could force him like the charme you sent.
Dutch.
Giotto? What speakes your hast?
Gio.
Comachio Madam, and signiour Depazzi.
Dutch.
Vsher em in.
Car.
Something in such a plenty may delight
Your dulled fancy.
Enter Depazzi, Comachio.
De.
Laura, remoove your selfe,
Doe not ecclipse the splendor of that Sunne
My Eagles eye must gaze at. Vncle know
Your distance.
Dutch.
Signiour Depazzi.
De.
Giotto, my hand agen, be proud, now Madam
I addresse my selfe to you, wonderfull Princesse,
Not so much for your beauty as your wisdome,
Your carnall wisdome.
Dutch.
Wherein Signiour.
Com.
Good.
De.
Right you answer, right it is my qu:
Your carnall wisdome Madam, you proclaime
In choosing out a husband, and that man
Whose memory your subjects shall have cause
To curse, is I.
Dutch.
To curse?
De.
Perfect still, have cause to curse,
You did no sooner choose him, which of all
Your faire Lords, though you looke a squint upon
My merit, could your eye picke out more able?
Heroicke, compleat, tempting? I am flesht,
Nothing shall put me out.
Gio.
Observe.
De.
Your grace saies right, I doe acknowledge it.
Gio.
You are too hasty, her grace saies nothing.
De.
Did your grace say nothing? speake it againe,
I know you meant to say something to th' purpose.
Dutch.
What purpose signiour?
De.
Now she has put me quite out.
Then raise upon your Vncle.
De.
Looke on him Madam, there he stands, you may
Perhaps imagine him for his gray beard
And a starched face, that he is wise a statist:
Ile bring ye a justice, thats but newly pack'd
Into commission, oth' peace, shall make
An asse on him.
Com.
Nephew, this will make you odious.
De.
A very gull in mistery of state,
A most egregious—in comparison
Of one that I could name, but he may serve
To fright the pages, muster the blacke guard,
Or keepe the doore at maskes, his face will doe
More then a hundred others; yet now I thinke on't,
Your grace shall magnifie your favour to me,
And let me begge him.
Dutch.
Ha, ha.
Com.
I hope your grace will pardon him, these fits
Are ever at full Moone.
Lau.
Begge your Vncle Signiour?
De.
Yes I would furnish him with an
Houreglasse and a sithe,
And sell him to the Masons for the picture
Of time, Madam, would he not shew well?
Dutch.
This is witty, what detractour
Gave out Signiour Comachio, your Nephew
Had no rich braine, Carintha, doe you nold him
Laura, Comachio, ha?
De.
Giotto, she has put me out agen,
Gio.
Then raile upon her Ladies,
De.
Hum, when I contemplate on your highnesse face
I hate all others:
Com.
Can your excellence.
Dutch.
Why, is mine so bad?
De.
I beseech your grace, speake your part right,
Oblivion is my qu. I doe remember.
Com.
Madam Carintha, speake to her grace,
De.
Has Madam Laura such I lip or eye?
Passe over it.
Gio.
He makes a bridge of that,
De.
Her cheekes,—
Com.
Nephew—Madam I humbly pray I may remove
This rudenesse, tis a discord must needes grate
Your soft eare,
De.
Vncle you are out now, her cheekes.
Lau.
Well Signiour, what of my cheekes.
De.
Why your cheekes are, as they are, death, I ha forgot,
This tis when you won't come t'rehearsall.
Lau.
My cheekes are
Such as creation fram'd em, and the colour
Is natures gift.
De.
It had need be gift, I know none so prodigall
To be at charge to buy em, yet you thought
I was in love w'ye, I confesse I did
Once cherish an opinion you were something
About a gipsie, and might serve in Lent
When flesh was rare, but you must take into
Your thoughts, I meant not honestly, you see
For whom fate hath reserv'd me, be as patient
As such a losse will suffer you, doe not marre
Your face, cause I condemne it, it may serve
Some hungry signiour, or some City heire
That would be dabled in nobility,
And pay for his cornuting.
Dutch.
He is most witty Carintha.
Com.
Giotto, she is taken with this imprudence,
What dulnesse hangs upon her soule? some fatall
Appoplexy seise him, that which we
Plotted to make him hatefull does inchant her.
De.
Madam, you see I have a body, ponderous
And full of marrow, Ile not get an heire
Lesse hopefull then my selfe, my first sonne shall be
An Emperour borne, may I doe things to purpose
When I am in once.
Com.
Will not this startle her?
Sure Madam, he will put downe Hercules.
De.
Hercules, Hercules, what, a Pedlar.
Gio.
Pedler, my Lord you would say pidler.
De.
He shall be what I please, doe not I know Hercules,
He got but fifty in a night, but I—
Madam your eare.
Com.
My duty to your grace, makes me forget
He is my kinsman.
Dutch.
Signior Depazzi,
We have leasure to heare you finish your discourse
With Laura and Carintha.
Com.
He's courted to her privacy, her soule is
In a deepe Lethargie.
Gio.
Ha?
What was intended to destroy his hope,
Hath raisd him to assurance, she applauds
That which to all understanding but her owne,
Appeares prodigious, did you suspect
She would heare this prate?
Com.
He had committed sinne enough to have had
His lips sow'd up eternally, death, I could
Grow into death with wonder.
Gio.
She check'd you for interrupting.
Com.
A fury revels in my braine, shee's mad,
And so am I, but—
Gio.
What for prevention,
If she have such a poverty in her reason,
Ith' humour she may marry him, and then
Beside the mighty fortune lost, you grone
Vnder his tyranny.
Com.
In his blood Ile bathe
My feares, a ship lanch'd forth with all her wings,
Be calmed thus.
Gio.
Ile digge the remora
That hangs upon the barke, this foole wo'd not
Be mised among the living, rather then—
Com.
Th'art my genious sacred directour
To my blisse.
I ha so much suffering
In your ungentle starres, that I would purchase
Their better influence with my danger.
Com.
How I feele my heart incorporate with thine,
What doe I owe to heaven for sending me
Thy friendship, say, shall this thing be removed,
Giotto, that so ruines me.
Gio.
Shall: there is
A most severe necessity, you must not
Be conscionable now; and charity
Vnto your selfe, will drowne the sinne:
Enter Depazzi, Laura.
Retort disgrace t'your hate.
De.
I shall extend my favour, where I see
Merit invite, perhaps commend you to
Some other Lord; Vncle, you shall continue
Your place; Giotto finde out a monopoly,
It shall be sign'd.
Com.
I congratulate your high fortune,
I knew t' wod take.
Exit. De. Com.
Enter Orseollo, Sancho.
Lau.
Here's a pretty front,
Signiour Orseollo, stay till I am vaild.—
Ors.
Nay, good Madam, I can indure to see
Your face, without danger to my eyes—Signiour
Giotto, I joy in your great fortunes.
Gio.
They shall inable me to doe you service.
Lau.
My Lord, you cherish my instructions,
Y'are come earlier then your houre.
Ors.
I'd faine know my destiny; Madam Ime rough.
The warres have spoilt my Courtship; I cannot
Flatter kindnesse from you; but I affect
Gratitude. What newes Lady, hah? has there
Beene no mention of my name or person
Since I receiv'd your last intelligence?
Lau.
I know nothing but what I am enjoyn'd
To make a secret.
Ors.
How deere Lady.
Giotto, shall I tell him that?
Gio.
Not for both the Indies.
Ors.
But she shall Giotto, she and wee be kinde,—
Madam,—we three will share in all atchievements.
Lau.
I cannot hide it from him.
Gio.
Are you weary of your life Lady?
My hopes are finished.
Lau.
The Dutchesse has commanded him to get
Your picture for her.
Gio.
Who'ld trust a secret in a womans brest?
My Lord, as you esteeme our loves usefull
Let no eare enjoy this but your owne.
Ors.
I will forget I heard it; I, Ime a souldier
Signiour, and shall deserve your faith. Sancho!
San.
My Lord!
Ors.
Theres a famous Painter sojornes here
In Mantua, a Germane!
San.
Shadan wierex.
Ors.
The same, you are to seeke him out, I have
Vse for him.
Gio.
Already you begin to make it publike.
Ors.
Doe not suspect my servants silence, I
Trust him with a secret of weightier
Consequence then this, my creature! hunk!
Lau.
Your hopes increase Signiour.
Ors.
Give me thy hand, Giotto, thine too:
Weele governe like the Triumveri—
Lau.
But sir, there is one obstacle—
Ors.
What ist?
Gio.
Ile loose a Thumbe to have it cleer'd,
Ors.
Heart, let me but know't?
Lau.
Y'have heretofore appeared so boysterous
And sullen to that sex, that the Dutchesse
Partly thinkes—
Ors.
What does she thinke?
Lau.
Y'are insufficient.
Ors.
How? a metophrase upon that word.
Gio.
Sir t'would impeach her modesty t'expresse
Twill become my tongue; there's a noise amongst
The Ladies, y'are insufficient: that is
Your genitalls want the perfect helpe in
Procreation.
Ors.
Horror, horror, name the authour of this
Calumny.
Gio.
Be not so loud signiour, were it a truth
Twould not proclaime nature, or your parents
Guilty, you are a soldier, perhaps in
A skirmish at Lepauto, some Turke
Circumcised you with his semiler;
Or being at push a pike, you might be
Drill'd below the navell, nay I ha knowne
The breath of a bullet snatch a remnant
Of loose flesh.
Ors.
Sdeath insufficient! you shall know a secret
Which I have fear'd, even ith' keeping o' my owne heart.
Gio.
Twill trouble me to know a thing, so full
Of danger.
Ors.
Tis onely dangerous to me, but sir,
It must out, for Ile stifle now this dam'd
Aspersion. It reveales the cause, why I
Was still a satire against women.
Lau.
I, that I would faine know.
Ors.
Know what Lady? we are in a discourse, meerely
Concernes us two, walke aside, she must not heare't.
Sancho, I now release off the Oath,
Which did oblige your secresie about
My continence, nay good Madam, troth we
desire to be particuler.
Lau.
Hereafter I shall grow reserved too.
Ors.
A personall secret, as Ime a souldier.
Gio.
You shall beleeve him Lady for my sake.
Ors.
How many whores hast thou in keeping for my use?
San.
Some ten my Lord!
Gio.
You passe my beleefe.
Ors.
'Las, Ime insufficient! a meere Eunuch, I.
But what urged your invectives gainst the Sex,
Since you thus cherish them in private!
Ors.
The Dutchesse has a chast court: 'twas safty
To disguise m'incontinence, least she should
Punish it.
Gio.
Y'are not so ravinous (my Lord) but when
Your friend desires a taste, he may be furnished, hah?
Ors.
You shall visit my seragho, and chose your whore.
Gio.
May I presume—
Ors.
That's the medicinall pimpe; who prescribes
Plaisters for my belly.
Gio.
You maintaine him in a gaudy outside.
Ors.
His sinnes mainetaine him; those of his function
Grow mighty now adayes.
Gio.
Lady you shall share in our secret.
Ors.
Are you mad Signiour?
Gio.
My Lord you are to modest: theres no errour
So readily excused by Ladies as this
O'th blood. Fame has abused our noble friend:
Not Hercules was more inabled for
Increase; then he.
Lau.
Indeed Signiour?
Gio.
Indeed? why Madam, doe you doubt that I
Be'y him, Ime sure he keepes tenne whores.
Ors.
Slight, you are treacherous.
Gio.
She cries indeed, as if she did suspect
You can proffer like a Goate, and performe
Like an Elephant.
Lau.
This was you that railed against women.
Fye my Lord.
Ors.
Troth Madam, my constitution is to blame;
But a young sinner deserves mercy.
Gio.
Your lustinesse redresse you more hopefull
To the state. Give me a Prince from whose loynes
We may expect issue.
Ors.
Howsoever I would not have the Dutchesse know
Of this; till I am more indeere unto
Her heart.
Does not her happinesse, and mine depend
Vpon your fate?
My Lord, be confident of my silence.
Her grace is now in the privy garden.
Walke you thither, and receive those favours,
Her lookes administer: without reply
Of gratitude, she would not have it knowne
She loves you.
Ors.
Enough I shall be polliticke.
Exeunt Orseollo, Sancho.
Lau.
Was there ever such a wanton Hipocrite?
Gio.
He Neighs like a horse. I am not cosend
In him, I still thought he was a lecher.
Enter Contarini.
Con.
Signiour Giotto.
Gio.
My good Lord?—
Lau.
Tis my chiefe blessing to see your Lordship
In good health—
Con.
I thanke you noble Lady.
Lau.
Ile goe pray to have it still continued.
Exit.
Con.
What meanes this great observance, tis beyond
My merit. Dost not admire her graces
Favorite should use me thus?
Gio.
These female Courtiers ha the tricke on't.
Con.
What signiour?
Gio.
Tis safe Idolatry to bow unto
The rising sonne, shee sees your fortune smile,
And therefore flatters ye.
Heaven knowes, I neare
Shall gaine by Courtship, I
Though all the Heraulds
Called thee Duke, Ile not kisse your hand
Vnlesse 'twere cleane.
Con.
Thou hast heard some newes.
Declare, come, declare,
And prosper.
Gio.
My Lord, I first should chide your tardinesse
In action. First now I saw your wife at Court,
Defeates your hope; yet her removall from
Your bed is not design'd.
Con.
I have sent her to my house, provided you
A rare disguise which you shall weare, and wooe
Her body to the darke deed, my man shall
Witnesse her adultery; and Ile sue out
A divorce; whilst you remaine safe from law,
Because not knowne to her.
Gio.
Why this I like, it tastes of sublime wit.
Enter Orseollo.
Ors.
I will be active in my reigne, in large
My Dutchy. Genon is proud, it shall
Grow humble I have a long arme, 'twill reach
Florence. Or if I chance to lay my hand on Parma
I shall gripe it till my fist ake, ere I
Forsake my tenure.
Con.
Orseollo.
Ors.
Your greeting's too familiar!
Con.
From whence this pride, Ile anger him.
My Lord, though I am growne above the use
Of Poetry, there still remaines in my
Remembrance a Sonnet, made in praise of
Women; Which if youle please to heare—
Ors.
He had a bold Muse, that durst undertake
So high an argument, sure a woman
Was the object, strucke old Homer blinde;
And for his eyes left him a Muse. I've lost
My businesse.
Exit
Con.
He was not wont to speake so well of women.
Gio.
No humorist is constant to dislike,
Or commendation.
Nay lead the way my Lord:
Ime part of your attendance.
Exeunt. Omnes.
Enter Volterre, Depazzi, Crispino.
Uol.
Signiour my affaires hither require haste,
The Dutchesse (on some sudden cause) hath sent for me.
De.
I beleeve tis to take's advise about
At Revels. On my good Lord.—
Vol.
You come lately from her, and I would know,
How you approve her present lookes. Tis the Art
Of forraigne Courtiers to visite Princes,
In lucky minutes; when their gesture shewes
Em pleasant. How lookes her grace to day: Is,
She not physicall, but high and jocond?
De.
You may without danger of your fortune
Choose this minute for conference with her grace.
Signiour th'as cause to cleare her lookes; Her thoughts
Grow easie to her, she had found out the man;
The man, that must: more might be said: but then
More must be spoke—
Vol.
Slight; why this to me; how comes he to know
That I am he, her highnesse aimes at? True
The man is knowne: nor is his worth concealed.
De.
Worth Signiour!—None but Laura gave him
Notice, Ime the man, I neare spoke of it
My selfe. My Lord, the man may with safety
Boast, he is the best deserver in the Court. hum.
Uol.
Your Lordship does him too much right, tis certaine,
He has beene told that I am he.
De.
He hath a glorious feature too.
Vol.
Nay good signiour, comely; but not glorious.
De.
How not glorious, speake that agen.
Vol.
This is a pretty kinde of flattery,
He will not suffer me to abuse my selfe.
Ile admit he charmes the Ladies? or so—
De.
That's I; for I charme the Ladies. He knowes
I shall be Duke, it cannot be conceal'd.
Vol.
The man has travaild too.
De.
Never I. But it seemes the Dutchesse gives
It out so: the more to honour her choyse
Signiour; I must doe you justice; the Court
Speakes you most accurate, ith'Spanish garbe.
Uol.
The Spaniards (signiour) reserves all passion,
To expresse his feeling in accurences
Reaches out a Tooth-picke.
Is his parinthasis: which he doth manage
Subtly thus—Par les santos sennor—
Lo conosco portierto—porque es
Trabaso (con licenzia diuvestra alteza)
Hablas muchas palabeas—
No puedo en veridad—
De.
But why those things Signiour?
Uol.
This elevation oth'shoulders is a
Polliticke gesture, declares a meaning hid;
Which you may finde out if you can: and is
Often used in triviall circumstances.
I question this your Man—
Cris.
Your Lordship must speak my mothers tongue then.
Vol.
Is Don Diego within?
De.
Stay slave, weele be as politicke as he—
Which don Diego doe you meane? he that plaide
The sloven in the great Church. The English
Have a Proverbe on him.
Uol.
Why not he of Valder, or any other Diego?
De.
Be not inraged (my Lord) those grave shrugs appeare
Vnmannerly, and would before Ladies,
Ingender a suspect of vermine.
Vol.
Then Ile prefer (sir) the French to your
Dislike or praise: whom though a surly Don,
Calls an impertinent people; giddy
Trifles? yet in my esteeme they merit
Highly. They are active even in discourse
Let us beginne cheerely, No matter
On what slight or triviall subject; Be it
On that single melancholly haire upon
Your chinne. Rise and fall by my example.
De.
I am prepaired.
Uol.
Mounsier, sil adirent que ete cheveil la sera brusle; que farions nous
Avec vostre menton: poucce que le Roy.
De.
Mounsieur be not troubled! banish your feare,
With like ease as Hercules could a bulrush.
Make it a secret.
Uol.
Ovyda', Ieslay bien que la volente, doit esere est emee pour facit: mais quond
Ievous donneray an cheque naude prenez lamanie, que celus, que tombe
Gaigneray un pas; pour reu, que ce ve leve—
De.
Troth, I know not, may be it was a mistake in Plato,
for those pinnes and feathers which you talke of, are usefull
unto Ladies. Besides tis well knowne, the man ith' Moone
will not permit excuse in businesse of this kinde: Tis dangerous
to law, and reason.
Uol.
Ie ne le croy pas, cesee un chanson dumonde.
De.
So I was told by one that knowes the Kings heart? he
came hither to cheapen Ginger bread, for the Mogols daughter.
Vol.
Est i' possibile? Il in a aucun chose ci dificile, mais je le
prenderay tant tose.
De.
Do'st ifaith, know then all the Lyons in Barbary shall
not contrary me in this way.
Vol.
How doe you like it Signiour?
De.
T'as put me into a heate, and French heates are not
Very wholesome. But I've heard how nimbly
You dispose your person in a French Curvet!
Uol.
I know your minde; but my body is now prepaired
For a high visit. My joynts moves by screwes,
Ime so starched together; a dance would
Loosen me, and make me fall in rumples.
Your man is well build for such a motion,
Marke tis onely thus—and thus—
Cris.
I ha seene your Lordship doe it ta da rum, ta da rum.
Vol.
Good, very good, signiour Depazzi you owe
Heaven much thankes, for lending you this servant;
I ha not seene a Gentleman in all France
Move with so much regard, and vigour.
Cris.
Your Lordship is my patterne.
Vol.
M'affaires call me to Court, serviteur tres humble.
Ex.
Ist possible? This Lord must rise when I am Duke:
Ile prefer none but such as can speake French and dance;
Crispino, prepare my Bath, Ile distill and grow amorous.
Exeunt.
Enter Contarini Giotto, Dandalo, Carintha.
Car.
My Lord twill become me to receive
Whom you give up so noble, I should sinne
Against obedience; you are most welcome signiour.
Con.
My best Carintha.
Gio.
Madam you incourage me
To serve your goodnesse, my Lord you undoe me,
With too much honour.
Con.
Signiour, if your eye take delight in prospect
There's a roome will feede it richly,
Shew him Carintha, some
Affaires call me to Court. Cherish him
Car.
With my best care, please you walke.
Con.
So Dandalo, be faithful to your trust, no interruption,
Giotto prosper in thy sinne, thy deed
Will make me happy, though my honour bleed.
Exeunt Omnes.
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