University of Virginia Library

Actus Quartus.

Enter Eugenia and her Maid.
Eug.
Has truth forsooke mankind? or is it my
Fate onely to converse with those that are
So cruell and neglectfull of our sexe?
Vnhappy Maid! is he not yet return'd?

Maid.
None yet appeares.

Eug.
Then I despaire to see him:
And when I thinke indeed of the imployment,
That 'tis against himselfe, I may with justice
Accuse my want of judgement, to expect
He should performe so hard an imposition:
I would I could not thinke of any man,
They rob me of my peace: I prethee try
Thy voyce, to put my heart in better tune;
There is a power in harmony, some say,
To charme the unruly motions of the braine:
Love is it selfe a melancholy madnesse:
Why should not Musicke cure the wound of love?

Enter Chrysolina.
Chry.
How does my deare Eugenia?

Eug.
As well
As this restraint will give me leave, and yet
It does appeare a part of my enlargement
To have your company: I hope your sister
Enjoyes her health.

Chry.
And more felicity
Than I can boast mine owne, shee's halfe a Bride.
Happy ith'embraces of her wished servant;
You know our story; he ha's chosen her,
And most uncivilly neglecteth me.
Thus laden with his scorne, I come to practise
A scene of sorrow w'ye; sure thy fate
Hath spun a thread for me, we are so like
In our misfortunes: Have you heard no newes
Of your ingratefull servant, for I know
No other name, and he indeed deserves
To have no other memory, that takes
A pride in his disdaine.

Eug.
Nothing as yet.
But I have met occasion to convey
A Letter to him, yet I cannot promise:
Enter Yongrave.
But here's the messenger.

Chr.
That Gentleman?
I know the man you love then, is't not Thornay?

Eug.
The same, I did conceale him for his shame.

Chr.
Why hee's a zealous suiter for my love.

Yon.
It makes for me that he continues cruell;
I was not able to command his passion.
But will she not mistrust I have not beene
So carefull in advancing her desires,
But satisfied my selfe with any answer,
As knowing what must bring comfort to her,
Must needs be killing to my hopes? In what
A narrow path I tread; her spring must be
My frost, and when her tree carries the pride
And bloome of summer, I retaine no sap,
But wither and creepe backward into earth,
Like a forsaken plant.

Chr.
Here Ile obscure.

Chrysolina withdrawes.
Eug.
You are welcome, Sir.

Yon.
I would I were.

Eug.
Shall I beleeve you have beene faithfull to
My griefes request?

Yon.
Yes, and bring comfort backe.

Chrys.
How's that?

Eug.
Pronounce those words agen.

Yon.
I bring you comfort.

Eug.
He did say so: What meant she
To mocke me with another sad relation?
Was't a device in her to increase my joy
At meeting, he did talke of comfort; is it
A thing restor'd in nature? Oh, before
You blesse my eare agen with that wished sound,
Excuse my modesty, if my heart present
A kisse to thanke you.

Yon.
I drinke in my poyson.

Eug.
Now let your comforts flow.

Yon.
I have returned you
As true a lover as yet ever Mistris
Could boast possession of, one so resolved
To honour you.

Eug.
Can this be possible?

Yon.
I have examined every secret thought
Within his soule, concerning you, and dare
Thus boldly justifie, he is your owne.

Eug.
Let me but live to see him, and I write
My ambition satisfied

Yon.
He's here.

Eug.
Where?

Yo.
Here.
In me your truest servant is return'd.

Chr.
Does he affect her?

Yon.
I call all that's good
To witnesse with me, I discharg'd with zeale
The unkind office to my selfe, but could not
Incline him to returne to any softnesse:
In briefe, he has unworthily engag'd
That heart belonging to you, and would not be
Provoked to see you agen.

Chr.
Eugenia.

Chr. leads in Eug.
Yon.
Is all this waking? Have I seene her faint?
And did not she that cherishes her enemy,
Haste to her reliefe, and seeme to suffer with her?
While I, as one had growne here, did not move?
I did not well, to exalt her with a hope:
To meet a blessing, and then ruine her.
If death hath whisper'd her aside, I shall
Be accused, and I will take my preferment
To be sent after her to tell her ghost
I lov'd her best, when wee are both immortall
She'l understand me better.
Enter Chrysolina.
Is Eugenia alive agen?

Chr,
There is no danger to be fear'd; a qualme.
Pray let me aske you Sir one question,
Doe you affect this Virgin really?
I move it not for any harme.

Yon.
Would she had sent you hither,
But with desire to be resolv'd.

Chr.
May be she has.

Yon.
Then tell her I doe love her better—
Than I can expresse, but when she has
Numbred all things are excellent on earth
She is to me above 'em infinitely.

Chr.
This carries no probability.

Yon.
Would thou wert a man
Then I durst tell thee, I doe love her so
I durst be wicked for her, and kill thee.

Chr.
With all this, it does not appeare you love her so
And be an instrument, nay plead to put another in possession
Of your lov'd treasure; for if I mistake not
You late did urge a man, whom shee esteemed
Better, to returne and marry her:
Can any man that loves a woman truly,
Strive to supplant himselfe and give away
His comfort?

Yon.
There's the honour of my service,
When I am dead, the story shall remember
I lov'd a maid so well that I prefer'd
Whatever she desired above my selfe,
And cause she lou'd one better, was content,
To serve her wishes with my banishment:
He does not love a Virgin nobly, whose
Affection walkes not just to her desires,
To like e'm 'bove his owne.

Chr.
If this can be,
Thou art the noblest lover in the world,
With what affection shall shee be blest
That loves him, when the mistresse that esteemes
Him not, is thus rewarded?

Enter Eugenia.
Eug.
Indeed I love him still and shall doe ever,
Nor had I now returnd to life, but that
I had not tooke my leave of him.

Yon.
More corrosive.

Eug.
If you'l oblige a Virgin,
For ever to you once more visit him,
Tell him I lye like one thats desperate sicke,
Opprest with griefe of body, and of mind,
But cannot be so fortunate to quit
The world till he vouchsafe to visit me.
Bid him not feare I will detaine him long
With idle talke, sixe words and I am dead.
Although he love me not, he may doe this:
If you will adde this to your other worke,
I will impose no more, indeed I will not:
So farewell noble Sir.

Exit.
Chr.
If you will please to joyne with me, I doubt not
To effect her wishes.

Yon.
No.

Chr.
You doe not know what power I have with him.

Yon.
You have too much

Chr.
Ile undertake—

Yon.
You sha'not rob me of the reward.

Chr.
What reward?

Yon.
Perhaps another kisse; pray tell her, I
Went cheerefully to finish her command.

Exit.
Chr.
I doe admire and love this noble temper,
What flames are these? Suppresse 'em, they grow high,
If he affect her so, what hope have I?

Ex.
Enter Gerard and Thornay.
Tho.
Mad? why you still enjoy discourse.

Ger.
What then? may not a man be mad, and yet talke wisely?

Tho.
But few in my experience.

Ger.
Doe not abuse thy knowledge, at the worst
Thou canst but say, our senses are deprav'd,
Throwne off o'th'hinge; the tongue is none I hope,
Though some would have the titillation
Ioynd to make up a sixth in the grave Synode:
Beleeve then I am mad; Ile prov't by reason.

Thor.
By reason? that's a new way to prove it;
But Ile heare no reason.

Ger.
Then thou art mad thy selfe.

Thor.
Nay, I thinke I am madder o'th two,
And have as much reason, if there bee reason
Able to make one mad; but let's be wise:
Or if it must be that y'ave lost your wits,
Let's see and wee can recover e'm by drinking;
For hee that is not sober after drunkennesse,
Is no man of this world.

Ger.
Now thou talkest wildly.

Thor.

I talke wildly, that would justifie my selfe to bee in my
wits, and you that talk reason and sense wo'not beleeve y'ave any.

Ger.
If it bee so, that may conclude I ha' lost 'em,
And doe not understand my selfe.

Thor.
So, so, I should beleeve another in that argument,
But not you, for in knowing that, you prove
You are no mad-man.

Ger.
Prethee tell mee, thou art a peece of a Philosopher,
And knowest the naturall causes.

Thor.
Hold in that; I must confesse, you are little
Beside your selfe: I a Philosopher?
I studied Titelman sometimes i'th College,
As others did, and wanting Epictetus
Lanthorne, slept alwaies with a watching Candle
In my study window, and might very well
Dreame over learning o'my Deske, or so;
What Aristotle might infuse into
My sleepes I know not, but waking I nere troubled
My selfe to understand him; true I lov'd
His Booke De Cœlo, for the heavenly Title,
And made my Father buy it, for my study
Of Divinity, told him I would be a Bishop;
That brought me threescore pound a yeere for sacke:
I prethee doe not talke of learning.

Ger.
Why then acknowledge, I am mad, and I have done.

Thor.
Well for this once I will allow it, th'art mad.

Ger.
But wherefore doe y'allow it, what's the cause?

Thor.
Nay, nay, I know not that.

Ger.
Ile tell thee then.

Thor.
Tis come about agen.

Ger.
And let thy judgement censure mee
If I produce not able reasons—

Thor.
To prove madnesse, he makes me mad to heare him:
Now I consider better on't, I confesse
You have some cause to be a little mad,
The losse of such a Mistresse.

Ger.
But of one?
Did they not both affect mee, and I them
With such equality of honour.

Thor.
Grant it.

Ger.
And I to lose 'em both? faith speake but honestly;
Is't not a wonder that I doe not rave
And kill my selfe? how many have runne mad
For one that never lov'd 'em? and shall I
Bee so unmannerly not to lose my wits
For two and two such creatures? twere a Solecisme
In love: I prethee doe not flatter mee
With an opinion that I have my reason;
It cannot bee, it is against all sense,
I should haue any; such an expectation
Lost, is enough to make the genius
Of all the world runne mad, and I will straight.

Thor.
Whither?

Ger.
To Bedlem, whether should I goe?
I must not live in this community of fooles and wisemen.

Thor.
There be Knaves among us.

Ger.
Here all are happy, there I sha'not meet
With lovers that are fortunate, but with men
Of my complexion, that looke twenty wayes
At once, that sigh and curse, and sing mad Carols:
If I can get to bee their Prince, Ile make
A law it shall bee death to smile or kisse
A woman.

Thor.
Now I feare him.

Ger.
Nay, wee'le have
An excellent well governd Common wealth,
A delicate Eutopia, there shall be
Lectures and publike readings shall put downe
Grissame foundation for the liberall Arts,
And make the Citizens bring their Shop-bookes hither
To take fine notes, how to bee paid their debts,
And yet trust none but younger brothers: then
Wee will have penall Statutes against eating,
Live all by the ayre of commendations.
No idle man shall live within our State:
Doe y'marke? they are the mouthes of the Republike:
And therefore hee that has no other worke
To prevent slothfulnesse, may imploy his time
In picking strawes, there will be a great plenty.
Here will wee live together, and bee mad
Perpetually, wee wo'not bee recovered;
For if at any time wee incline to bee
Sober, and comming to our wits againe,
The lash will whip us into new distempers
And mad fugaries.

Thor.
Doe y'know all this while
What you have said, you correct me for speaking
Extravagantly, and yet talke wilde your selfe.

Ger.
I prethee pardon and instruct me better; I am not well.

Thor.
Will you walke to your Chamber, Ile beare you company.

Ger.
No, I am well againe.
Vpon condition you will tell Aurelia
Shee did not use me kindly.

Thor.
I will.

Ger.
She did not use me kindly, nothing else, Farewell.

Exit.
Thor.
I know not what to thinke on him,
The unhappinesse was so sudden, and unlook'd for,
It might disturbe his fancy, but I hope
The worst is past, a little rest will settle him.
But which way shall I recompence the injury:
I ha' done him? and I had not been ungratefull
To Eugenia, wee might have both beene happy.
Enter Yongrave.
Ha? 'tis hee: Save you most Noble Sir;
Ift please you now, Ile goe along with you
Toth'Gentlewoman.

Yon.
What Gentlewoman?

Thor.
Eugenia, that wrote the Letter to me, I meane her.

Yon.
For what?

Tho.
I ha' considered better, & doe meane
To make her satisfaction.

Yon.
'Tis too late;
You might have done this earlier, your love
Will appeare now unseasonable, I assure you.

Thor.
Pray give me a reason.

Yon.
D'ye not blush to aske it?
I told her what you said, and now we are
Resolv'd; you cannot blame her, she was covetous
To embrace you; but your answer being return'd
So peremptorily in her neglect, we both agreed.

Thor.
You both? Why what was that to you?

Yon.
That doubt will cleere it selfe when we are married.

Tho.
Why, did you love her?

Yon.
And deserve her best
Of all the world: and yet shee'd give me no
Assurance till she knew your resolution,
Which I was able to informe her, and
'Tis now a bargaine; upon munday next.—

Thor.
Your wedding day.

Yon.
Right.

Thor.
In very good time. You weare a sword.

Yon.
What then?

Thor.
Ile only try how you can fence, I must not lose her so.

Yon.
You lose her? you despis'd her, wo'd not see her,
Not to recover her from death. D'yee not
Remember such a saying, In the Towne
Were many yonger brothers, that might be
Content to marry her; let her use her fortune,
For your owne part, you were engag'd, there was
No wrestling with your fate: Was it not so?

Thor.
'Tis all one for that, my mind is altred,
I'm of another humour now, and will
Maintaine, I love her better than you dare.

Yo.
Then I must tell you.

Tho.
Tell me no tellings:
Either resigne her to me againe, or—

Yon.
Resolve me, pray, can you affect her heartily?

Thor.
Else let me perish on your sword.

Yon.
I heard
You court another Mistris, that did answer it with entertainment.

Thor.
She was a very Gipsie.
You were no sooner parted, but she us'd me
Basely; 'tis true, I did sufficiently
Deserve it, for my breach of vow to her
I now alone doe honour, and for whom,
(Chang'd into honesty) I will rather dye
Than live without her.

Yo.
Heaven do's heare all this.

Thor.
I make no doubt, and while my heart to hee
Is reconcil'd, cannot despaire of mercie.

Yon.
You shall have her.

Thor.
Shall I? then Ile love thee too.

Yon.
And know, she ha's no thought but to be yours,
There ha's no obligation past betwixt us two.
I came for this: yet I must tell you, Sir,
I love her too, and shall doe ever.

Thor.
How? not when
She is my wife, I hope.

Yon.
Yes then.

Thor.
If you have cut her up, and left her cold meat,
I shall lose my stomacke.

Yon.
With a holy flame,
Her vertue keeps a Vestall fire within me,
But she affects not me, yet I might challenge her:
Nor can you ever, but in right of me,
Glory your selfe possest; I have bought her.

Thor.
I hope she ha's not sold her maidenhead.

Yo.
Her vncle
(Whose aime is onely profit) hath concluded
With me a price for her, and therefore gives
Accesse to none, till I ha' prov'd my fortune;
But I finde her devoted to you onely,
And have conform'd my wishes unto hers:
She loves you best, and I preferre you too,
Returne, and be her husband, Ile direct you.

Enter Caperwit and Dancer.
Cap.
You understand my purpose, you shall make
The Dance, let me alone to write the songs.

Dan.
A Maske will be delightfull to the Ladies.

Cap.
Oh Sir, what Playes are taking without these
Pretty devices? Many Gentlemen
Are not, as in the dayes of understanding.
Now satisfied without a Iigge, which since
They cannot, with their honour, call for, after
The play, they looke to be serv'd up ith'middle:
Your dance is the best language of some Comedies,
And footing runnes away with all; a Scene
Exprest with life of Art, and squar'd to nature,
Is dull and flegmatick Poetry.

Tho.
Enough;
I am bound to honour thee, command my life,
Thou excellent young man.

Yon.
I wish you happinesse and never after her will love a woman.

Cap.
You know my lodging.

Dan.
Ile attend you Sir.

Exit.
Cap.
I wonder what's become of my hermaphrodyte?
Yongrave, how is't man? what art melancholy?
What hath hung plummets on thy nimble soule,
What sleepie rod hath charmd thy mounting spirit?

Yon.
Prethee enjoy thy selfe.

Cap.
By Parnassus
You must not be so headhung, why dost peep—
Vnder thy cloake as thou didst feare a Serjeant?
Enter Simple and Lady Bird.
Who are these? my wish! fortune hath sent thee a cure,
The rarest mirth! you sha'not lose it, ha, ha.

Bir.
You have strangely wonne me to obey you Sir,
I refuse nothing you command.

Sim.
Shalt go,
And heare how I will talke, and baffle 'em.
But what if wee meet Caperwit?

Bir.
No matter.

Sim.

No: w'y then let him goe hang himselfe in his owne
verses, if the line be strong enough, come my Nightingale,
my Bird of Paradise.

Exit.
Cap.
If ever thou didst love me, lets follow 'em;
Feede not this sullen humour, Ile promise excellent sport.

Yon.
You shall prevaile.

Ex.
Enter Chrysolina, Aurelia.
Chr.
It was not kindly done, beleeve me sister,
He did performe but our request.

Aur.
Tis granted;
But his neglect of you afflicted me.

Chr.
He could not make you happy, and remaine
Servant to me.

Aur.
Nor make me blest, while you
Seem'd discontented.

Chr.
Doe not thinke I was,
I did but carry trouble in my face,
When he declared himselfe, withdrew my smiles,
For your sake, to make you appeare most lovely,
And worthy of his choice; and could you be
So cruell to reject him, when he came
To be confirm'd your owne without a rivall?
It seemes he did not know who lov'd him best.

Aur.
Best?

Chr.
Yes, and I in this, will mak't appeare,
That now you have exild him from your love,
Ile sue for his affection.

Aur.
He is mine.

Chr.
But you Aurelia are not his; I will
Appeale to his modest reason, that shall guide
His eye to looke on both agen, I doe not
See what in me should not invite him hither,
With as much ardor, rather more, since he
Hath prov'd already your too much unkindnesse;
What if this noble Gentleman should lose
His wits upon't, will all your beautie call
His straggling senses to their seate agen?
Ile seeke him out betimes and comfort him.

Aur.
Tis more than will become you sister.

Chr.
How?

Aur.
And it must bring your modesty in question,
To follow one that cares not for you.

Chr.
Thus
I may awake his noble flame, nor is it
Any dishonor when the world shall know
How you have us'd him, if I make returne,
To what I lov'd so deerely.

Aur.
Not while I may challeng interest; here are company
Enter Simple, Bird, Yongrave, Caperwit aloofe.
Let us withdraw, I have something more to tell you.

Chr.
Deferre it rather now; here comes my hope.

Aur.
How's this? nay then Ile stay a little longer.

Sim.
By your leave Gentlewomen, I should mock you
To call you Ladies; perhaps you may wonder at me.

Chr.
I see no cause.

Sim.
Have you no eyes?

Aur.
Such as you see?

Sim.
Oh eyes no eies but Mountaines fraught with teares!

Chr.
Hee's turnd Ieronymo.

Sim.
Goe by, Ieronymo, goe by, goe by.

He passeth by them with disdaine.
Chr.
Doe y'know where you are?

Sim.
Yes, and to whom I speake I hope.

Aur.
Noble Sir, I hope you doe not scorne us.

Sim.

Scorne you, no, but I doe not care a rush for you, you
might have had me when I was offered, tis none of my fault,
and you doe fall to eating of chalke, and dye oth'black jaundise,
I cannot helpe it now for I proclaime, here is the what
doe y'call it, of my heart.

Aur.
Has he wonne this Lady? I suspect her:
I hope you have not quite forsaken me;
Virgins for custome sake, sometimes deny,
Beleeve me Sir, when you did plead for love
My heart did not so much as think on't.

Sim.
Nay tis no matter, I ha' tooke my course, yet I
Have a sute to you that you would not breake your heart,
Nor yon, to see us kisse. Nectar! immortall nectar!
He kisses Bird.
Oh let this Diamond purchase such another,
Tis pitty that my lips should ever open,
To let the breath she gave me, out agen.

Chr.
Doe y'pay so much for every kisse? a Diamond?

Sim.

I never offer lesse to touch her lip; marry her hand, or
her a—or foote or so, I may salute for a ruby, or an emrode
or a satire; or so, but I have stones—now doe thou speake a
little for their further mortification.

Bir.
I did not thinke to have returnd so soone
A trouble to you but the importunity
Of this most worthy Gentleman prevail'd,
I thinke there was some Magick in his tongue.

Sim.

Nay you may sweare that, the wisest in the country,
thought my mother a Witch.

Bir.
He did no sooner open his desires,
But he did wound my heart, you see his bounty,
What jewels hee has given mee.

Sim.
All thine owne; somebody else might ha' been wise and had 'em.

Cap.
Somebody else might have been wise, and kept 'em.

Bir.

I must confesse, I lov'd another lately, but his affection's
frozen up—

Cap.
Blesse you bevy of Ladies.

Bir.
Sir, you are come most seasonably, before
These Gentlewomen, I release your promise,
My thoughts are fixt upon this Noble Knight,
Affect now where you please; here is my husband.

Cap.
You are not married?

Sim.
No, but I came to bid you all to my wedding, I have
Bespoke Gloves, and Points, and knacks, and knaveries.

Cap.
I will dye Hymens Saffron robe in blood,
Put out the Torches with the teares of Virgins,
And make the Temple quake.

Sim.
Will you so Sir?

Cap.
Excellent Rascall!

Bir.
There is no way but to acknowledge it,
It is no shame in love, there's no disgrace,
For else by Law he may recover mee.

Sim.

Doe y'heare Sir, you may take her if you please, but if
she be troubled with a timpany, there is a man within a mile of
an Oke. I name no body, that has hell,—some earnest of her
body.

Cap.
I hope you doe but Iest.

Sim.
Ile make all sure. What a loving Lady is this?

Cap.
Then I require you give me back this Diamond,
The token once I gave of my devotion.

Sim.
Why that's mine, I gave it her but how before all this company.

Bir.

Be wild and let him have it, 'tis like his within my Cabinet,
let's be quit on him, this will secure our marriage.

Sim.

Let him have it there bee more in Cheapeside, but let's
not tarry, any longer Bird, hee'le challenge all the rest of thy fathers.

Bir.

I will obey you Sir.

Sim.

Farewell beauties and kind Gentleman, if you come to
my wedding, I name no time, nor place, wee'l be very merry, excellent
cheere Ile promise you, your belly full of Fidlers.

Cap.

Ha, ha.

Exit Sim. and Bir.
Aur.

What did you meane? that Ring was his.

Cap.

The Boy shall ha't agen: ha, ha, you do not know the mysterie,
this Lady is a boy, a very crackrope boy.

Au.
Is't possible?

Cap.
I made him first disguise himselfe.

Aur.
Indeed?

Cap.
Yes faith, to come to you.

Aur.
Then I must tell you Sir,
you have not us'd us civilly, to make our conversation ridiculous,
To talke and complement with a Boy.

Cap.
Sweet Lady, by Hyppocrene—

Aur.

Doe y'not thinke your wit found out a precious device
to make me love you by a president; is this your great Lady?

Cap.
Doe but heare mee speake.

Aur.
Not now, I know you have art enough to excuse it,
Yet I am not mercilesse, let mee entreate
Your absence, without ceremony, when
You come agen, your talke will bee more musicall.

Cap.
Doe's shee not prophesie the conceit, I goe
The Maske will doo't, more musicall? tis so.

Exit.
Chr.
Then hee's gone to her

Yon.
Hee did promise mee.

Chr.
Let other Virgins when they heare this story
Wonder, but give mee leave to love you for it,
Indeed I doe; looke not so strange, your vertue
Compels mee to reveale it, tis no shame
To owne a passion, kindled by such goodnesse.

Yon.
If I doe understand you, give mee pardon,
To thinke you are not perfectly advis'd;
I am a prisoner still to my Eugenia.

Chr.
Shee is satisfied, and you are disingaged.

Yon.
But shee has not yet resignd the heart I gave,
Nor can I thinke of any other Mistresse;
Choose in a plenty of more happy men,
I gave too much away to love agen.

Exit.
Chr.
I will retire to blush and weepe.

Aur.
Not so.
Alas poore sister, now I feare you not,
I see your purpose was to make mee kinde:
I wo'd hee were my brother, but let's in
And joyne our heads, some counsell would doe well,
Tis pitty wee two should leade Apes in hell.

Exit.