University of Virginia Library

Actus Secundus.

Enter Futelli and Guzman.
Fvtelli.
Dexteritie and sufferance, brave Don,
Are Engines the pure politicke must work with.

Guz.
We understand.

Fut.
In subtilties of warre,
(I talke t'ee now in your owne occupation,
Your trade, or what you please) unto a Souldier,
Surprizall of an enemy by stratagem,
Or down-right cutting throats is all one thing.

Guz.
Most certaine: on, proceed.

Fut.
By way of parallell,
You drill or exercise your company,
(No matter which for termes) before you draw
Into the field, so in the feats of Courtship,
First choyce is made of thoughts, behaviour, words,
The set of lookes, the posture of the beard,
Besol as manus, cringes of the knee,
The very hums and ha's, thumps, and ay mees.

Guz.
We understand all these: advance.

Fut.
Then next,
Your enemy in face, your mistresse (marke it)
Now you consult either to skirmish slightly,
Thats carelesse amors, or to enter battaile,
Then fall to open treatie, or to worke
By secret spies or gold: here you corrupt
The Chamber-mayd, a fatall engine, or
Place there an Ambuses do, thats contract
With some of her neere friends, for halfe her portion,
Or offer truce, and in the interim,
Run upon slaughter, tis a noble treachery,
Thats sweare and lye, steale her away: and to her
Cast caps, and cry Victoria, the field's
Thine owne (my Don) shee's thine.

Guz.
We doe vouchsafe her.

Fut.
Hold her then fast.

Guz.
As fast as can the armes
Of strong imagination hold her.

Fut.
No, sh'as skipt your hold, my imaginations eyes
Perceives she not endures the touch or sent
Of your war-over-worne habiliments,
Which I forgot in my instructions
To warne you of, therefore my warlicke Don,
Apparrell speedily your imagination
With a more courtly out-side.

Guz.
Tis soone done.

Fut.
As soone as sayd, in all the cloathes thou hast,
More than that walking wardrobe on thy back.

Guz.
Imagine first our rich Mockado doublet,
VVith our cut cloath of gold sleeves, and our quellio,
Our Diamond buttond Callamancho hose,
Our plume of Ostrich, with the embroydred scarfe
The Dutchesse Infantasgo rowld our arme in.

Fut.
I this is brave indeed.

Guz.
Our Cloake whose cape is
Larded with pearles, which the Indian Iacquies
Presented to our countrey-man De Cortez,
For ransome of his life, rated in value
At thirteene thousand pistolets, the guerdon
Of our atchievement, when wee rescued
The Infanta from the Bore in single duell,
Neere to the Austrian forrest with this rapier,
This onely, very, naked, single rapier.

Fut.
Top and top-gallant brave,

Guz.
VVe will appeare
Before our Amoretta like the issue
Of our progenitors.

Fut.
Imagine so,
And that this rich sute of imagination,
Is on already now (which is most probable
As that apparell) here stands your Amoretta,
Make your approach and court her.

Guz.
Lustre of beauty,
Not to affright your tender soule with horrour,
We may discend to tales of peace and love,
Soft whispers fitting Ladies clossets, for
Thunder of cannon, roaring smoake and fire,
As if hells maw had vomited confusion,
The clash of steele, the neighs of barbed Steeds,
Wounds spouting blood, townes capering in the ayre,
Castles pushd downe, and Cities plowd with swords,
Become great Guzmans Oratory best,
Who tho victorious, and during life
Must be: yet now grants parley to thy smiles.

Fut.
S'foot, Don, you talke too big, you make her tremble,
Doe you not see't imaginarily?
I doe as plainely as you saw the death
Of the Austrian Bore, she rather heares
Of feasting then of fighting, take her that way.

Guz.
Yes we will feast my queene, my empresse saint,
Shal't tast no delicates but what are drest
With costlier spices then the Arabian bird
Sweetens her funerall bed with, we will riot
With every change of meates; which may renue
Our bloud unto a spring, so pure, so high,
That from our pleasures shall proceede a race
Of scepter-bearing princes, who at once
Must raigne in every quarter of the globe.

Fut.
Can more be said by one that feeds on herring
And garlicke constantlie?

Guz.
Yes we will feast.

Fut.
Enough, shes taken, and will love you now,
As well in buffe, as your imagin'd bravely,
Your dainty ten times drest buffe, with this language
(Bould man of armes) shall win upon her, doubt not
Beyond all silken puppetry, thinke no more
Of your mockadoes, calaminchaes, quellios,
Pearle larded capes and diamond buttond breeches,
Leave such poore out-side helpes to puling lovers,
Such as Fulgoso your weake rivall is,
That starveling braind-companion appeare you
At first (at least) in your owne warlike fashion:
I pray be rul'd, and change not a thred about you.

Guz.
The humour takes (for I sir, am a man
Affects not shifts) I will adventure thus.

Fut.
Why so you carry her from all the world,
Ime proud my starres designed me out an instrument
In such an hie imploiment.

Guz.
gravely spoken,
You may be prowd ont—

Enter Fulgoso, and Piero.
Ful.
What is lost is lost,
Money is trash, and Ladies are et cætera's,
Play's play; luck's lucke, fortunes an I know what,
You see the worst of me, and whats all this now?

Pie.
A very sparke (I vow) you will be stil'd,
Fulgoso the invincible, but did
The faire Spinella loose an equall part
How much in all d'ee say?

Ful.
Bare threescore duckets,
Thirty a peece, we neede not care who know it
She plaid, I went her halfe walkd by and whistled
After my usuall manner thus—unmoved
Whistled.
As no such thing had ever beene as it were,
Altho I saw the winners share my money
His lordship, and an honest gentleman
Purs'd it, but not so merrily as I
Whistled it off—whistles

Pie.
A noble confidence.

Fut.
Dee note your rivall.

Guz.
With contempt I doe.

Ful.
I can forgoe things neerer then my gold,
Allyd to my affections, and my bloud;
Yea honour, as it were, with the same kinde.
Of carelesse confidence, and come off fairely
Too as it were.

Pie.
But not your love, Fulgoso.

Ful.
No, shees inherent, and mine owne past loosing.

Pie.
It tickles me to thinke with how much state,
You, as it were, did runne at tilt in love
Before your Amoretta.

Ful.
Broke my lance.

Pie.
Of wit, of wit.

Ful.
I meane so as it were
And laid flat on her backe, both horse and woman.

Pie.
Right as it were.

Ful.
What else man, as it were.

Guz.
Did you doe this to her, dare you to vant
You triumph we being present? um, ha, um.

Fulgoso whistles the Spanish Pavin.
Fut.
What thinke you Don, of this brave man?

Guz.
A ma?
It is some trusse of reeds, or empty caske,
In which the winde with whistling sports it selfe

Fut.
Beate up Sir, hees your rivall, budge not from him
An inch, your grounds are honor.

Pie.
Stoutly ventured, Don, hold him too't.

Ful.
protest a fine conceit,
A very fine conceite, and thus I tould her,
That for mine owne part, if shee lik'd me, so,
If not, not; for my ducke or do said I,
It is no fault of mine, that I am noble,
Grant it; another may be noble too,
And then wee'r both one noble better stil
Habs-nabs good wincke and choose, if one must have her,
The other goes without her, best of all,
My spirit is too high, to fight for woman,
I am too full of mercy to be angrie,
A foolish generous quality, from which
No might of man can beat I'me, ime resolvd.

Guz.
Hast thou a spirit then ha? speakes thy weapon
Toledo language, Bilbo, or dull Pisa?
If an Italian blade, or spanish mettall,
Be briefe, we challenge answer.

Fut.
Famous Don.

Ful.
What does he talke? my weapon speakes no language,
Tis a dutch iron trunchion.

Guz.
Dutch?

Ful.
And if need be,
Twill maule one's hide, in spight of who saies nay

Guz.
Dutch to a Spaniard, hold me.

Ful.
Hold mee too
Sirrah if th'art my frind, for I love no fighting,
Yet hold me least in pitty I flie off,
If I must fight, I must; in a scurvie quarrell
I defie hees and shees, twit me with dutch?
Hang dutch and french, hang spanish and Italians,
Christians and Turkes pew-waw; all's one to me,
I know whats what, I know on which side
My bread is butterd.

Guz.
Butterd? dutch againe?
You come not with intention to affront us.

Ful.
Front mee no fronts, if thou beest angrie squable
Heeres my defence, and thy destruction—
whistles a charge
If friends shake hands, and goe with me to dinner.

Guz.
We will embrace the motion, it doth relish,
The Cavaleiro treates on termes of honor,
Peace is not to be baulkd on faire conditions.

Fut.
Still Don is Don the great.

Pie.
He shewes the greatnesse
Of his vast stomach in the quicke embracement
Of thothers dinner.

Fut.
Twas the ready meanes to catch his friendship.

Pie.
Yare a paire of worthies,
That make the nine no wonder.

Fut.
Now since fate
Ordaines that one of two must be the man,
The man of men which must enjoy alone
Loves darling Amoretta, both take liberty
To shew himselfe before her, without crosse
Of interruption, one of tother: he
Whose sacred mystery of earthly blessings
Crownes the pursuit; be happy.

Pie.
And till then, live brothers in societie.

Guz.
We are fast.

Ful.
I vow a match: Ile feast the Don to day
And fast with him to morrow.

Guz.
Faire conditions.

Enter Adurni, Spinella, Amoretta, Castanna.
Ad.
Futelli and Piero, follow speedily.

Pie.
My Lord we wait yee.

Fut.
We shall soone returne.

Exeunt.
Ful.
Whats that? I saw a sound.

Guz.
A voyce for certaine.

Ful.
It nam'd a Lord.

Guz.
Here are Lords too, we take it,
We carry blood about us, rich and haughty,
As any the twelve Cæsars.

Ful.
Gulls or Mogulls,
Tag, rag, or other, Hoger-Mogen vanden
Skip-Iacks, or Chouses. Whoo! the brace are flincht,
The paire of shavers are sneakt from us, Don.
Why? what are we?

Guz.
The valiant will stand too't.

Ful.
So say I, we will eate and drink, and squander,
Till all doe split againe.

Guz.
Match on with greedinesse.

Exeunt.
Enter Martino and Levidolche.
Mar.
You cannot answer what a generall tongue
Objects against your folly, I may curse
The interest you lay claime to in my blood,
Your mother my deere neece did die, I thought
Too soon, but she is happy, had she liv'd;
Till now, and knowne the vanities of your life
Hath dealt in, she had wisht herselfe a grave
Before a timely houre.

Lev.
Sir, consider,
My sex, were I mankinde, my sword should quit
A wounded honour, and repreave a name
From injury, by printing on their bosomes
Some deadly Character, whose drunken surfets
Vomit such base aspersions, as I am
Scorne and contempt is vertue: my desert
Stands far above their malice.

Mar.
Levidolche, hypocrisie puts on a holy robe,
Yet never changeth nature: call to minde,
How in your girles dayes you fell forsooth
In love, and married, married (harke ye) whom
A trencher-waiter, shrewd preferment: but
Your childhood then excus'd that fault: for so
Footmen have run away with lusty heires,
And stable-grooms reacht to some fair ones chambers.

Le.
Pray let not me be bandied sir, and baffaild
By your intelligence.

Mar.
So toucht to the quicke,
Fine mistresse, I will then rip up at length
The progresse of your infancie, in colour
Of disagreement you must be divorc'd,
Were so, and I must countenance the reasons
On better hopes I did, nay tooke you home,
Provided you my care, nay justified
Your alteration, joyd to entertaine
Such visitants of worth and ranke, is tendred
Civill respects; but then, even then—

Lev.
What then?
Sweet unkle doe not spare me.

Mar.
I more shame
To feare my hospitality was bawd
And (name it so) to your unchaste desires,
Then you to heare and know it.

Lev.
Whose whore am I?
For thats your plainest meaning.

Mar.
Were you modest,
The word you utterd last would force a blush.
Adurni is a bounteous Lord, tis sayd,
He parts with gold and jewels like a free
And liberall purchaser, a' wriggles in
To Ladies pleasures by a right of pension;
But you know none of this:
You are growne a Taverne talke,
Matter for Fidlers songs, I toyle to build
The credit of my family, and you
To pluck up the foundation, even this morning
Before the common Councell, young Malfato
Convented for some lands he held; suppos'd
Belong'd to certaine Orphans, as I question'd
His tenure in particulars, he answerd,
My worship needed not to flaw his right:
For if the humour held him, he could make
A joynture to my over-living Neece,
Without oppression, bad me tell her too,
She was a kinde young soule, and might in time
Be sued to by a loving man, no doubt.
Here was a jolly breakfast.

Lev.
Uncles are priviledged
More than our parents, some wise man in state
Hath rectified, no doubt, your knowledge sir,
Whiles all the policie for publicke businesse,
Was spent—for want of matter, I by chance
Fell into grave discourse; but by your leave,
I from a strangers table rather wish
To earne my bread, than from a friends by gift,
Be daily subject to unfit reproofes.

Mar.
Come, come, to the poynt.

Lev.
All the curses
Due to a ravisher of sober truth,
Dambe up their gracelesse mouthes.

Mar.
Now you turne rampant,
Iust in the wenches trimme and garbe, these prayers
Speake your devotions purely.

Lev.
Sir, alas,
What would you have me do? I haue no Orators,
More than my teares, to plead my innocence,
Since you forsake me, and are pleas'd to lend
An open eare against my honest fame.
Would all their spight could harry my contents
Unto a desperate ruine; Oh deare goodnesse,
There is a right for wrongs.

Mar.
There is, but first
Sir in commission on your owne defects,
Accuse your selfe: be your owne Iury, Iudge,
And executioner, I make no sport
Of my vexation.

Lev.
All the short remaines
Of undesired life, shall onely speake
Th'extremitie of penance: your opinion
Enjoynes it too.

Mar.
Enough; thy teares prevaile
Against credulity.

Enter Trelcatio. A letter.
Lev.
My miseries,
As in a glasse, present me the rent face
Of an unguided youth.

Mar.
No more—Trelcatio,
Some businesse speeds you hither.

Trel.
Happy newes,
Signior Martino, pray your eare; my nephew
Auria hath done brave service: and I heare
(Lets be exceeding private) is returnd
High in the Duke of Florences respects,
Tis sayd, but make no words that a'has firkt
And mumbl'd the roguie-Turkes.

Mar.
Why would you know
His merits so unknowne?

Trel.
I am not yet
Confirmd at full, withdraw, and you shall read
All what this paper talkes.

Mar.
So; Levidolche, you know our minde,
Be cheerefull, come Trelcatio,
Causes of joy or griefe, do seldome happen
Without companions, neere thy resolutions
Have given an other birth to my contents.

Exit.
Le.
Even so, wise uncle, much good doe ye—discoverd!
I could flie out, mix vengeance with my love,
Unworthy man Malfato, my good Lord
My hot in bloud, rare Lord, growes could too, well
Rise dotage into rage, and sleep no longer;
Affection turned to hatred, threatens mischiefe.

Exit.
Enter Piero, Amoretta, Futilli, and Castana.
Pie.
In the next gallory you may behold
Such living pictures Lady, such rich pieces,
Of Kings, and Queens, and Princes, that you'd think
They breath, and smile upon yee.

Amo.
Ha, they crownthes,
Great crownthes oth gold upon their headthes.

Pie.
Pure gold,
Drawne all in state.

Amo.
How many horthes pray
Are ith their Chariots?

Pie.
Sixteene, some twenty.

Cast.
My sister wherefore left we her alone?
Where staies she gentlemen?

Fut.
Viewing the roomes,
Tis like youle meet her in the gallery.
This house is full of curiosities,
Most fit for Ladies sights.

Amo.
Yeth, yeth, the thight
Of printhethes ith a fine thight.

Cast.
Good, let us finde her.

Pie.
Sweet Ladies this way; see the doores sure.

Fut.
Doubt not.

Exit.
SONG.
Enter Adurni, and Spinella.
Ad.
Plead not faire creature without sence of pity
So incompassionatly gainst a service,
In nothing faulty more then pure obedience,
My honours and my fortunes are led captives
In triumph by your all-commanding beauty,
And if you ever felt the power of love,
The rigor of an uncontrouled passion,
The tyrannie of thoughts consider mine,
In some proportion, by the strength of yours,
Thus may you yield and conquer.

Spi.
Doe not study
(My Lord) to apparrell folly in the steed
Of costly colours, henceforth cast off farre
Far from your noblest nature, the contempt
Of goodnesse, and be gentler to your fame,
By purchase of a life to grace your story.

Ad.
Deare, how sweetly
Reproofe droopes from that baulmy spring your breath,
Now could I read a lecture of my griefes
Un-earth a mine of Jewells at your foote,
Command a golden shower to raine downe,
Impoverish every Kingdome of the east,
Which trafficks richest cloathes, and silkes; would you
Vouchsafe one, unspleend chiding to my riot,
Else such a sacrifice can but beget
Suspition of returnes, to my devotion,
In mercenary blessings, for that saint
To whom I vow my selfe, must never want
Fit offerings to her altar.

Spi.
Auria, Auria,
Fight not for name abroad, but come my husband,
Fight for thy wife at home.

Ad.
Oh never canke
(Deare crulty) one that is sworne your creature,
Amongst your countries enemies, I use.
No force, but humble words, delivered from
A tongue thats secretarie to my heart.

Spi.
How poorely some, tame to their wild desires,
Fawne on abuse of vertue, pray my Lord,
Make not your house my prison.

Ad.
Grant a freedome,
A noise within.
To him who is the bondman to your beauty.

Enter Aurelio, Castanna, Amoretta, Futilli, and Piero.
Aure.
Keepe backe yee close contrivers of false pleasures,
Or I shall force ye backe—can it be possible
Lockd up and singly too, chast hospitality
A banquet in a bed-chamber; Adurni!
Dishonourable man.

Ad.
What sees this rudenesse,
That can broach scandall here.

Aure.
For you hereafter,
Oh woman, lost to every brave report,
Thy wronged Auria is come home with glory,
Prepare a welcome to uncrowne the greatnesse
Of his prevailing fates,

Spi.
Whiles you belike,
Are furnishd with some newes for entertainement
Which must become your friendship to be knit
More fast betwixt your soules, by my removall,
Both from his heart and memory.

Ad.
Rich conquest,
To triumph on a Ladies injur'd fame,
Without a proofe or warrant.

Fut.
Have I life Sir,
Faith, Christianity?

Pie.
Put me on the rack,
The wheele, or the gallies, if—

Aure.
Peace factors,
In merchandise of scorne, your sounds are deadly,
Castanna, I could pity your consent
To such ignoble practice, but I finde.
Course fortunes easily seduc'd, and herein
All clayme to goodnesse ceases.

Cast.
Use your tyranny.

Spi.
What rests behind for mee, out with it.

Aure.
Horror,
Becomming such a forfeit of obedience,
Hope not that any falsity in friendship
Can palliate a broken faith, it dares not
Leave in thy prayers (fair vow-breaking want on)
To dresse thy soule new, whose purer whitenesse
Is sullyd by thy change, from truth to folly.
A fearefull storme is hovering, it will fall,
No shelter can avoyd it, let the guilty
Sink under their owne ruine.

Exit.
Spin.
How unmanly
His anger threatens mischiefe!

Amo.
Whom, I prethee,
Doth the man speake to?

Ad.
Lady, be not mov'd,
I will stand Champion for your honour, hazard
All what is deerest to me.

Spin.
Mercie heaven!
Champion for me, and Auria living? Auria?
He lives, and for my guard my innocence
As free as are my husbands clearest thoughts,
Shall keep off vaine constructions, I must beg
Your charities; sweet sister, yours to leave me,
I need no fellowes now: let me appeare,
Or mine owne lawyer, or in open court
(Like some forsaken client) in my suit
Be cast for want of honest plea—oh misery.

Exit.
Ad.
Her resolution's violent, quickly follow,

Cast.
By no means (sir) y'aue followed her already,
I feare with too much ill successe in triall,
Of unbecomming courtesies; your welcome
Ends in so sad a farewell.

Ad.
I will stand
The roughnes of th'encounter, like a gentleman,
And wait yee to your homes, what ere befal me.

exeunt.