 | The Spanish Curat |  |
Actus Quintus.
Scæna Prima.
Enter Violante and Servant.Ser.
Madam hees come.
Chaire and stooles out.
Viol.
'Tis well how did he looke,
When he knew from whom you were sent? was he not startled?
Or confident? or fearefull?
Ser.
As appear'd
Like one that knew his fortune at the worst,
And car'd not what could follow.
Viol.
'Tis the better
Reach me a Chaire: So bring him in, be carefull
That none disturb us: I will try his temper,
And if I find him apt for my employments,
Enter Iamy, Servant.
I'll worke him to my ends, if not I shall
Find other Engines.
Ser.
Ther's my Ladie,
Viol.
Leave us
Iam.
You sent for me?
Viol.
I did, and do's the favour,
Your present state considered, and my power,
Deserve no greater Ceremonie?
Iam.
Ceremonie?
I use to pay that, where I doe owe dutie,
Not to my Brothers wife: I cannot fawne,
If you expect it from me, you are cozen'd,
And so farewell.
Viol.
He beares up still; I like it,
Pray you a word
Iam.
Yes; I will give you hearing
On equall termes, and sit by you as a friend
But not stand as a Sutour: Now your pleasure?
Viol.
You are very bold.
Iam.
'Tis fitt: since you are proud
I was not made to feed that foolish humour,
With flattery and observance
Viol.
Yet, with your favour,
A little forme ioyn'd with respect to her,
That can add to your wants, or free you from 'em
(Nay raise you to a fate, beyond your hopes)
A Table ready covered with Cloath Napkins Salt Trenchers and Bread.
Might well become your wisedome,
Iam.
It would rather
Write me a Foole, should I but onely think
That any good to me, could flow from you,
Whom for so many yeares: I have found and prov'd
My greatest Enemy: I am still the same
My wants have not transform'd me: I dare tell you,
To your new cerviz'd face, what I have spoken
Freely behind your back, what I thinke of you,
You are the proudest thing, and have the least,
Reason to be so, that I ever read of
In stature you are a Giantesse: and your Tailour
Takes measure of you, with a Iacobs staffe,
Or he can never reach you, this by the way
For your large size: Now, in a word, or two
To treat of your Complexion were decorum:
You are so far from faire, I doubt your Mother
Was too familliar with the Moore, that serv'd her,
Your Limbes and Features, I passe breifely over,
As things not worth description; and come roundly
To your soule, if you have any: for 'tis doubtfull
Viol.
I laugh at this, proceed
Iam.
This Soule, I speake of
Or rather salt to keepe this heape of flesh,
From being a walking stench, like a large Inne,
Stands open for the entertainment of
All impious practises: but ther's no Corner
An honest thought can take up: and as it were not
Sufficient in your self to comprehend
All wicked plots, you have taught the Foole, my Brother
By your contagion, almost to put off
The nature of the man, and turn'd him Devill
Because he should be like you, and I hope
Will march to hell together: I have spoken,
And if the limming you, in your true Colours
Can make the Painter gracious, I stand readie
For my reward, or if my words distaste you
I weigh it not, for though your Groomes were ready
To cut my throat for't, be assur'd I cannot
Use other Language
Viol.
You thinke you have said now,
Like a brave fellow: in this Womans War
You ever have bin train'd: spoke big: but suffer'd
Like a tame Asse; and when most spur'd and gall'd
Were never Master of the Spleene or Spirit,
That could raise up the anger of a man,
And force it into action,
Iam.
Yes vile Creature
Wer't thou a subject worthy of my Sword,
Or that thy death, this moment, could call home,
My banish'd hopes, thou now wer't dead: dead (woman)
But being as thou art, it is sufficient
I scorne thee, and contemne thee
Viol.
This shewes nobly:
46
For had you kneeld, and whind and shew'd a base
And low deiected mind, I had despis'd you
This Bravery (in your adverse fortune) conquers
And do's command me, and upon the sudaine
I feele a kind of pittie, growing in me,
For your misfortunes, pittie some sayes the Parent,
Of future love, and I repent my part,
So far in what you have suffered, that I could,
(But you are cold) doe something to repaire
What your base Brother (such Iami I thinke him)
Hath brought to ruine
Iam.
Ha?
Viol.
Be not amaz'd,
Our injuries are equall in his Bastard
You are familliar with what I grone for
And though the name of Husband holds a tye
Beyond a Brother, I, a poore weake Woman,
Am sensible, and tender of a wrong,
And to revenge it, would break through all letts,
That durst oppose me.
Iam.
Is it possible?
Viol.
By this kisse: start not: thus much, as a stranger
You may take from me; But, if you were pleas'd,
I should select you, as a bosome Friend,
I would print 'em, thus, and thus,
Iam.
Keepe off.
Viol.
Come neare,
Neere into the Cabinet of my Counsailes:
Simplicity and patience dwell with Fooles,
And let them beare those burthens, which wise men
Boldly shake off; Be mine and ioyne with me,
And when that I have rais'd you to a fortune,
(Doe not deny your selfe the happie meanes)
You'l looke on me, with more iudicious eies
And sweare I am most faire.
Iam.
What would this Woman?
The purpose of these words? speake not in ridles
And when I understand what you would counsell,
My answer shall be suddaine,
Viol.
Thus then Iami,
The objects of our fury, are the same,
For young Ascanio, whom you snake like hug'd
(Frozen with wants to death) in your warme bosome,
Lives to supplant you, in your certaine hopes,
And kills in me all comfort.
Iam.
Now 'tis plaine,
I apprehend you: and were he remov'd—
Viol.
You, once againe, were the undoubted heire.
Iam.
'Tis not to be denyed; I was ice before,
But now ye have fir'd me,—
Viol.
I'l add fuell to it.
And by a nearer cut, doe you but steere
As I direct you bring our Bark into
The Port of happines,
Iam.
How?
Viol.
By Henriques death:
But you'l say hee's your Brother; in great fortunes
(Which are epitomes of States & Kingdomes)
Dishes covered with papers in each ready.
The politicke brooke no Rivalls.
Iam.
Excellent.
For sure I thinke out of a scrupulous feare,
To feed in expectation, when I may
(Dispensing but a little with my conscience)
Come into full possession, would not argue
One that desir'd to thrive,
Viol.
Now you speake like
A man that knowes the World.
Jam.
I needs must learne
That have so good a Tutresse: And what thinke you,
(Don Henrique and Ascanio cut off)
That none may live, that shall desire to trace us
In our black pathes, if that Octavio
His foster Father and the sad Iacinta,
(Faith pittie her, and free her from her Sorrowes)
Should fall Companions with 'em? When we are red
With murther, let us often bath in blood,
The collour will be scarlet.
Viol.
And that's glorious,
And will protect the fact
Jam.
Suppose this don:
(If undiscovered) we may get for money,
(As that you know buyes any thing in Rome)
A dispensation
Viol.
And be married?
Jam.
True.
Or if it be knowne, trusse up our Gold and Jewells,
And fly to some free State, and there with scorne—
Viol.
Laugh at the lawes of Spaine.
'Twere admirable.
Iam.
We shall beget rare Children. I am rap'd with
The meere imagination—
Viol.
Shall it be don?
Iam.
Shall? tis too tedious: furnish me with meanes
To hire the instruments, and to your self,
Say it is done already: I will shew you,
'Ere the Sun set, how much you have wrought upon me,
Your province is onely to use some meanes,
To send my Brother, to the Grove that's neighbour,
To the west Port of th'Citie; leave the rest,
To my owne practise; I have talk'd too long:
But now will doe: this kisse, with my Confession,
To worke a fell revenge: A mans a foole,
If not instructed in a Womans Schoole.
Exeunt.
Scæna Secunda.
Enter Bartolus Algazeirs and a Paratour. The Table set out and stooles.Bar.
You are well enough disguiz'd, furnish the Table,
Make no shew, what ye are, till I discover
Not a soule knowes ye here: be quick and dilligent,
These youthes, I have invited to a Breakefast,
But what the Sawce will be, I am of opinion
I shall take off the edges of their Appetites,
And greaze their gums, for eating hartily;
This month or two they have plaid their prizes with me
And with their severall flurts they have lighted dangerously
But sure I shall be quit: I heare 'em comming
Goe off, and wait the bringing in your service,
And doe it handsomely: you know where to have it
Enter Millanes, Arsenio, Lopez, Diego.
Wellcome i'Faith.
Ars.
That's well said, honest Lawyer,
Lop.
Said like a Neighbour
Bar.
Wellcome all: all over
And let's be merry:
Mil.
To that end we came Sir,
An hower of freedome's worth an age of juglings,
Die.
I am come too Sir, to specifie my Stomach
A poore reteyner to your worships bountie,
47
And thou shalt have it fill'd, my merry Diego,
My liberall, and my bonney bounteous Diego
Even filld till it groane againe
Di.
Let it have faire play,
And if it founder then—
I'll tell ye neighbours,
Though I were angry yesterday, with ye all,
And very angry for me thought ye bobd me.
Lop.
No, no, by no meanes.
Bar.
No, when I considered
It was a jest, and carried off so quaintly
It made me merry: very merry, Gentlemen,
I doe confes I could not sleepe to thinke on't
The mirth so tickled me, I could not slumber,
Lop.
Good mirth do's worke so: honest mirth,
Now, should we have meant in earnest—
Bar.
You say true Neighbour,
Lop.
It might have bred such a distast and sowrenesse,
Such fond imaginations in your Braines, Sir
For things thrust home in earnest—
Bar.
Very certaine
But I know ye all for merry waggs, and ere long
You shall know me too, in another fashion
Though y'are pamper'd ye shall beare part 'oth burthen.
Enter Amaranta and Leandro.
Come Wife; Come bid 'em wellcome; Come my Jewell:
And Pupill, you shall come too; nere hang backward,
Come, come the womans pleas'd, her angers over,
Come, be not bashfull,
Am.
What do's he prepare here?
Sure ther's no meate 'ith house at least none drest,
Do's he meane to mock 'em? or some new bred Crotchet
Come o're his braines; I doe not like his kindnes?
But silence best becomes me: if he meane foule play
Sure they are enough to right themselves and let 'em,
I'll sit by, so they beat him not to powder,
Bar.
Bring in the meate there, ha? Sit downe deare Neighbour
A little meate needs little Complement,
Sit downe I say:
Am.
What doe you meane by this Sir?
Bar.
Convay away their weapons handsomely,
Am.
You know ther's none ith' house to answer ye,
But the poore Girle; you know ther's no meat neither
Bar.
Peace and be quiet; I shall make you smoak els
Ther's men and Meate enough, set it downe formally
Enter Algazeirs with dishes.
Am.
I feare some lew'd tricke, yet I dare not speake on't
Bar.
I have no dainties for ye Gentlemen,
Nor lodes of meat, to make the roome smell of 'em
Onely a dish to every man I have dedicated,
And if I have pleas'd his appetite,
Lop.
O, a Capon,
A Bird of grace, and be thy will, I honour it
Di.
For me some fortie pound of lovely Beeffe,
Plac'd in a mediterranean sea of Brewisse
Bar.
Fall to, fall to that we may drinke and laugh after
Wait diligently knaves,
Mil.
What rare bits this?
An execution, blesse me!
Bar.
Nay take it to ye
Ther's no avoiding it, 'tis somewhat tough Sir,
But a good stomach will endure it easely
The sum is, but a thousand duckets Sir,
Ars.
A Capias from my Surgeon, and my Silke man,
Bar.
Your carefull makers, but they have mard your diet
Stir not, your Swords are gon: ther's no avoiding me
And these are Algazeirs, doe you heare that passing bell?
Lop.
A strong Citation, blesse me!
Bar.
Out with your Beads, Curat,
The devills in your dish: bell, booke, and Candell,
Lop.
A warrant to appeare before the Judges?
I must needs rise, and turne to'th wall.
Bar.
Ye need not,
Your feare I hope will make ye find your Breeches,
All.
We are betraid
Bar.
Invited, doe not wrong me,
Fall to, good Guests, you have dilligent men about ye,
Ye shall want nothing, that may persecute ye
These will not see ye start; Have I now found ye
Have I requited ye? You foold the Lawyer,
And thought it meritorious, to abuse him,
A thick ram headed knave: you rid, you spurd him,
And glorified your witts, the more ye wrongd him;
Within this hower, ye shall have all your Creditours,
A second dish of new debts, come upon ye.
And new invitements to the whip (Don Diego)
And Excommunications for the Learned Curat,
A Masque of all your furies shall dance to ye,
Ars.
You dare not use us thus?
Bar.
You shall be bobd (Gentlemen)
Stir, and as I have a life, ye goe to prison
To prison, without pittie instantly
Before ye speake another word to prison.
I have a better Guard, without, that waytes;
Doe you see this man, Don Curat? 'tis a Paratour
That comes to tell ye a delightfull story.
Of an old whore, ye have and then to teach ye
What is the penaltie; Laugh at me now Sir,
What Legacie would ye bequeath me now,
(And pay it on the naile?) to fly my fury?
Lop.
O gentle Sir,
Bar.
Do'st thou hope I will be gentle,
Thou foolish unconsiderate Curat?
Lop.
Let me goe Sir,
Bar.
I'll see thee hang first.
Lop.
And as I am a true Vicar,
Hark in your eare, hark softly—
Bar.
No, no bribery.
I'll have my swindge upon thee; Sirha? Rascall?
You lenten Chaps, you that lay sick, and mockt me,
Mockt me, abhonimably; abused me lewdly
I'll make thee sick at heart, before I leave thee,
And groane, and dye indeed, and be worth nothing
Not worth a blessing, nor a Bell to knell for thee,
A sheete to cover thee, but that thou stealest,
Stealest from the Merchant, and the Ring he was buried with
Stealest from his Grave, doe you smell me now?
Die.
Have mercy on me!
Bar.
No Psalme of mercy shall hold me from hanging thee
How do ye like your Breakfast? 'tis but short, Gentlemen
But sweet and healthfull; Your punishment, and yours, Sir
For some neare reasons, that concernes my Credit,
I will take to my self.
Am.
Doe Sir, and spare not
I have bin too good a wife, and too obedient,
But since ye dare provoke me to be foolish—
Lea.
She has, yes, and too worthie of your usage,
Before the world, I justifie her goodnes,
And turne that man, that dares but taint her vertues,
To my Swords point; that lying man, that base man,
Turne him, but face to face, that I may know him
Bar.
What have I here?
48
A Gentleman, a free man,
One that made triall of this Ladies constancie,
And found it strong as fate; Leave off your fooling.
For if you follow this course, you will be Chronicled
Enter Iamy and Assistant.
For a devill, whilst a Saint she is mentioned,
You know my name indeed; I am now no Lawyer.
Some comfort now, I hope, or els would I wer hanged up
Die.
And yet the Judge, he makes me swet.
Bar.
What newes now?
Iam.
I will justifie upon my life, and Credit
What you have heard, for truth, and will make prooffe of
Assist.
I will be ready at the appointed hower there,
And so I leave ye.
Bar.
Stay I beseech your worship,
And doe but heare me,
Iam.
Good Sir, intend this busines,
And let this bawling Foole; No more words Lawyer,
And no more angers, for I guesse your reasons,
This Gentleman, i'l justifie in all places,
And that faire Ladies worth; Let who dare crosse it,
The Plot was cast by me, to make thee jealous,
But not to wrong your wife, she is faire and vertuous,
Die.
Take us to mercy too, we beseech your honour,
We shall be justified the way of all flesh els,
Iam.
No more talke, nor no more dissention Lawyer,
I know your anger, 'tis a vaine and slight one,
For if you doe; i'll lay your whole life open
A life that all the world shall i'll bring witnes,
And rip before a Judge the ulcerous villanies
You know I know ye, and I can bring witnes.
Bar.
Nay good Sir, noble Sir.
Iam.
Be at peace then presently,
Immediately take honest and faire truce
With your good Wife, and shake hands with that Gentleman;
Has honour'd ye too much, and doe it cheerefully,
Lop.
Take us along, for heaven sake too.
Bar.
I am Friends,
There is no remedie, I must put up all,
And like my neighbours rub it ou't by'th shoulders,
And perfect friends; Leandro now I thanke ye,
And ther's my hand, I have no more grudge to ye,
But I am too meane henceforward for your Companie,
Lea.
I shall not trouble ye,
Ars.
We will be friends too:
Mil.
Nay Lawyer, you shall not fright us farther,
For all your devills wee will bolt,
Bar.
I grant ye.
The Gentlemans your Baile and thank his comming,
Did not he know me too well, you should smart for't;
Goe all in peace, but when ye Foole next, Gentlemen,
Come not to me to Breakefast.
Die.
I'l be bak'd first.
Bar.
And pray ye remember, when ye are bold & merry,
The Lawyers Bancket, and the Sawce he gave ye,
Iam.
Come: goe along; I have employment for ye,
Employment for your lewd braynes too, to coole ye.
For all, for every one.
All.
We are all your Servants.
Die.
All, all for any thing, from this day forward,
I'l hate all Breakefasts, and depend on dinners
Iam.
I am glad you come off faire
Lea.
The faire has blest me.
Exeunt.
Scena Tertia.
Enter Octavio, Iacinta, Ascanio.Oct.
This is the place, but why we are appointed
By Don Iami to stay here, is a depth
I cannot sound,
Asc.
Beleev't he is too noble,
To purpose any thing but for our good
Had I assurance of a thousand Lives,
And with them perpetuitie of pleasure,
And should loose all, if he prov'd only false,
Yet I durst run the hazard,
Iac.
'Tis our comfort,
We cannot be more wretched then we are,
And death concludes all misery,
Oct.
Undiscovered
Enter Henrique, Iami.
We must attend him
Asc.
Our stay is not long
With him Don Henrique?
Iac.
Now I feare;
Be silent.
Hen.
Why do'st thou follow me?
Iam.
To save your life,
A plot is laid for't, all my wrongs forgot,
I have a Brothers Love.
Hen.
But thy false self,
I feare no enemy.
Iam.
You have no Friend,
But what breathes in me: If you move a step
Beyond this ground you tread on: you are lost.
Hen.
'Tis by thy practise then: I am sent hither
To meete her, that prefers my life, and safetie
Before her owne.
Iam.
That you should be abus'd thus
With weake credulitie: She for whose sake,
You have forgot we had one noble Father,
Or that one Mother bare us, for whose love,
You breake a contract, to which heaven was witnes,
To satisfie whose pride, and willfull humour,
You have expos'd a sweet, and hopefull Son,
To all the miseries, that want can bring him,
And such a Son, though you are most obdurate,
To give whom entertainement Savages
Would quit their Caves themselves, to keepe him from
Bleake cold, and hunger: This dissembling Woman,
This Idoll, whom you worship: all your love
And service trod under her feete, designes you
To fill a grave, or dead, to lye a pray,
For Wolues, and vultures.
Hen.
'Tis false; I defie thee,
And stand upon my Guard
Enter Leandro Millanes, Arsenio, Bart. Lopez, Deigo, Octavio Iacinta Ascanio and Servants.
Iam.
Alas, 'tis weake:
Come on, since you will teach me to be cruell,
By having no faith, in me, take your fortune,
Bring the rest forth, and bind them fast.
Oct.
My Lord.
Asc.
In what have we offended?
49
I am deafe,
And following my will, I doe not stand
Accomptable to reason: See her Ring
(The first pledge of your love, and service to her)
Deliverd as a Warrant for your death:
These Bags of gold you gave up to her trust,
(The use of which, you did deny your selfe)
Bestow'd on me, and with a prodigall hand,
Whom she pick'd forth to be the Architect
Of her most bloudy building; and to Fee
These Instruments, to bring Materials
To raise it up, she bad me spare no cost,
And (as a surplusage) offer'd her selfe
To be at my devotion.
Henr.
O accurss'd!
Iam.
But be incredulous still; think this my plot;
Fashion excuses to your selfe, and sweare
That she is innocent, that she doats on ye;
Believe this, as a fearefull Dreame, and that
You lie not at my mercy, which in this
I will shew onely: She her selfe shall give
The dreadfull Sentence, to remove all scruple
Who 'tis that sends you to the other world.
Enter Violante.
Appeares my Violante? speake (my dearest)
Do's not the object please you?
Viol.
More then if
All Treasure that's above the earth, with that,
That lyes conceal'd in both the Indian Mines,
Were laid downe at my feet: O bold Iamy
Thou onely canst deserve me.
Iam.
I am forward,
And (as you easily may perceive,) I sleepe not
On your commands.
Enter Assistant and Officers.
Viol.
But yet they live: I look'd
To find them dead.
Iam.
That was defer'd, that you
Might triumph in their misery, and have the powre
To say they are not,
Viol.
'Twas well thought upon:
This kisse, and all the pleasures of my Bed
This night, shall thanke thee.
Hen.
Monster!
Viol.
You Sir, that
Would have me mother Bastards, being unable
To honour me with one Child of mine owne,
That underneath my Roofe, kept your cast-Strumpet,
And out of my Revenues, would maintaine
Her riotous issue: Now you find what 'tis
To tempt a woman: with as little feeling
As I turne off a slave, that is unfit
To doe me service; or a horse, or dog
That have out-liv'd their use, I shake thee off,
To make thy peace with heaven.
Hen.
I doe deserve this,
And never truly felt before, what sorrow
Attends on wilfull dotage.
Viol.
For you, Mistris,
That had the pleasure of his youth before me,
And triumph'd in the fruit, that you had by him.
But that I thinke, to have the Bastard strangled
Before thy face, and thou with speed to follow
The way he leades thee, is sufficient torture,
I would cut off thy nose, put out thine eyes,
And set my foot on these bewitching lips,
That had the start of mine: but as thou art,
Goe to the grave unpittied.
Assist.
Who would beleeve
Such rage could be in woman?
Uiol.
For this Fellow,
He is not worth my knowledge.
Iam.
Let him live then,
Since you esteeme him innocent.
Viol.
No, Iamy,
He shall make up the messe: now strike together
And let them fall so.
Assist.
Unheard of crueltie
I can endure no longer: seize on her.
Uiol.
Am I betrai'd?
Is this thy faith, Iamy?
Iam.
Could your desires
Challenge performance of a deed so horrid?
Or, though that you had sold your selfe to hell,
I should make up the bargaine? Live (deare Brother)
Live long and happy: I forgive you freely;
To have done you this service, is to me
A faire Inheritance: And how e're harsh language
(Call'd on, by your rough usage) pass'd my lipps,
In my heart, I ever lov'd you: All my labours
Were but to shew, how much your love was cozen'd,
When it beheld it selfe in this false Glasse,
That did abuse you; and I am so far
From envying young Ascanio his good fortune.
That if your State were mine, I would adopt him.
These are the Murtherers, my noble Friends,
Which (to make triall of her bloudy purpose)
I won, to come disguis'd thus.
Hen.
I am too full
Of griefe, and shame to speake: but what I'le doe,
Shall to the world proclaime my penitence;
And howsoever I have liv'd, I'le die
A much chang'd man.
Iam.
Were it but possible
You could make satisfaction to this woman,
Our joyes were perfect.
Hen.
That's my onely comfort,
That it is in my power: I ne're was married
To this bad woman, though I doted on her,
But daily did deferre it, still expecting
When griefe would kill Iacintha.
Assist.
All is come out,
And finds a faire successe: take her Don Henrique,
And once againe embrace your Son.
Hen.
Most gladly.
Assist.
Your Brother hath deserv'd well.
Hen.
And shall share
The moitie of my State,
Assist.
I have heard, Advocate,
What an ill Instrument you have bin to him,
From this time strengthen him, with honest counsells,
As you'le deserve my pardon.
Bar.
I'le change my Copy:
But I am punish'd, for I feare I have had
A smart blow, though unseene.
Assist.
Curat, and Sexton,
I have heard of you too, let me heare no more,
And what's past, is forgotten; For this woman,
Though her intent were bloody, yet our Law
Calls it not death: yet that her punishment
50
The Dowry she brought with her, shall be emploi'd
To build a Nunnery, where she shall spend
The remnant of her life.
Viol.
Since I have miss'd my ends,
I scorne what can fall on me.
Assist.
The strict discipline
Of the Church, will teach you better thoughts. And Signiors,
You that are Batchelours, if you ever marry,
In Bartolus, you may behold the issue
Of Covetousnesse, and Jealousie; And of dotage.
And falshood in Don Henrique, keep a meane then;
For be assur'd that weake man meers all ill,
That gives himselfe up to a womans will.
Exeunt.
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