 | The Elder Brother |  |
SCENA III.
Enter Cook, Andrew, Butler.Cook.
And how do's my Master?
And.
He's at's Book; peace, Coxcomb, that such an unlearned
tongue as thine should ask for him!
Co.
Do's he not study conjuring too?
And.
Have you lost any Plate, Butler?
But.
No, but I know I shall to morrow at dinner.
And.
Then to morrow you shall be turn'd out of your
place for't; we meddle with no spirit o'th' Buttery, they
taste too small for us; keep me a Pie in Folio, I beseech thee,
and thou shalt see how learnedly I'le translate him. Shall's
have good cheer to morrow?
Co.
Excellent good cheer, Andrew.
And.
The spight on't is, that much about that time, I shall be
arguing, or deciding rather, which are the Males or Females
of Red Herrings, and whether they be taken in the Red Sea
only; a question found out by Copernicus, the learned Motion
maker.
Co.
I marry, Butler, here are rare things; a man that
look'd upon him, would swear he understood no more than
we do.
But.
Certain, a learned Andrew.
And.
I've so much on't, and am so loaden with strong
understanding, I fear, they'll run me mad. Here's a new
Instrument, a Mathematical Glister to purge the Moon with
when she is laden with cold phlegmatick humours; and
here's another to remove the Stars, when they grow too
thick in the Firmament.
Co.
O Heavens! why do I labour out my life in a Beef-pot?
and only search the secrets of a Sallad, and know
no farther?
And.
They are not reveal'd to all heads; these are far above
your Element of Fire, Cook. I could tell you of Archimedes
Glass, to fire your Coals with; and of the Philosophers
Turf, that ne'er goes out: and, Gilbert Butler, I could
ravish thee with two rare inventions.
But.
What are they, Andrew?
And.
The one to blanch your Bread from chippings base,
and in a moment, as thou wouldst an Almond; the Sect of
the Epicureans invented that: The other for thy Trenchers,
that's a strong one, to cleanse you twenty dozen in a minute,
and no noise heard, which is the wonder, Gilbert; and this
was out of Plato's new Idea's.
But.
Why, what a learned Master do'st thou serve,
Andrew?
And.
These are but the scrapings of his understanding,
Gilbert; with gods and goddesses, and such strange people
he deals, and treats with in so plain a fashion, as thou do'st
with thy Boy that draws thy drink, or Ralph there, with his
Kitchin Boys and Scalders.
Co.
But why should he not be familiar, and talk sometimes,
as other Christians do, of hearty matters, and come
into the Kitchin, and there cut his Breakfast?
But.
And then retire to the Buttery, and there eat it and
drink a lusty Bowl to my young Master, that must be now
the Heir, he'll do all these, I and be drunk too; these are
mortal things.
And.
My Master studies immortality.
Co.
Now thou talk'st of immortality, how do's thy Wife,
Andrew? my old Master did you no small Pleasure when he
procur'd her, and stock'd you in a Farm. If he should love
her now, as he hath a Colts tooth yet, what says your learning
and your strange Instruments to that, my Andrew? Can
any of your learned Clerks avoid it? can ye put by his Mathematical
Engine?
And.
Yes, or I'le break it: thou awaken'st me, and
I'le peep i'th' Moon this month but I'le watch for him. My
Master rings, I must go make him a fire, and conjure o'er
his Books.
Co.
Adieu, good Andrew, and send thee manly patience
with thy learning.
[Exeunt.
| The Elder Brother | |