 | The Chances |  |
Actus Quintus.
Scæna prima.
Enter Duke, Petruchio below, and Vechio above.Duke.
It should be here abouts.
Petr.
Your grace is right,
This is the house I know it.
Voch.
Grace?
Duke.
'Tis further
By the description we received.
Petr.
Good my Lord the Duke,
Believe me, for I know it certainly,
This is the very house.
Vech.
My Lord the Duke?
Duk.
Pray heaven this man Prove right now.
Petr.
Beleeve it, hee's a most sufficient Scholler,
And can doe rare tricks this way; for a figure,
Or raising an appearance, whole Christendome
Has not a better; I have heard strange wonders of him.
Duke.
But can he shew us where she is?
Petr.
Most certaine,
And for what cause too she departed.
Du.
Knock then,
For I am great with expectation,
Till this man satisfie me: I feare the Spaniards,
Yet they appeare brave fellowes: can he tell us?
Petr.
With a wet finger, whether they be false.
Duke.
Away then.
Petr.
Who's within here?
Enter Vechio.
18
Your Grace may enter.
Du.
How can he know me?
Petr.
He knowes all.
Vech.
And you sir.
Exeunt.
Scæne. 2.
Enter Don John, and Fredrick.John.
What do you call his name?
Fred.
Why, Peter Vechio.
Iohn.
They say he can raise devills,
Can he make 'em
Tell truth too, when he has rais'd 'em? for beleeve it,
These devils are the lyingst Rascalls.
Fred.
He can compell 'em.
John.
With what? can he
Tye squibs in their tailes, and fire the truth out?
Or make 'em eate a bawling Puritan,
Whose sanctified zeale shall rumble like an Earthquake?
Fred.
With Spels man?
John.
I with spoones as soone, dost thou thinke
The devill such an Asse as people make him?
Such a poore coxcomb? such a penny foot post?
Compel'd with crosse and pile to run of errands?
With Asteroth, and Behemoth, and Belfagor?
Why should he shake at sounds, that lives in a smiths forg?
Or if he do—
Fred.
Without all doubt he do's Iohn.
Iohn.
Why should not Bilbo raise him, or a paire of bullyons,
They go as big as any? or an unshod Car,
When he goes tumble, tumble o're the stones,
Like Anacreons drunken verses, make us tremble?
These make as fell a noyse; me thinkes the collick
Well handled, and fed with small beere—
Fred.
'Tis the vertue—
Iohn.
The vertue? nay, and goodnesse fetch him up once,
'Has lost a friend of me; the wise old Gentleman
Knowes when, and how; I'le lay this hand to two pence,
Let all the Conjurers in Christendome,
With all their spells, and vertues call upon him,
And I but thinke upon a wench, and follow it,
He shall be sooner mine then theirs; where's vertue?
Fred.
Thou art the most sufficient, (I'le say for thee)
Not to beleeve a thing—
Iohn.
O sir, slow credit
Is the best child of knowledge; I'le go with ye,
And if he can do any thing, I'le thinke
As you would have me.
Fred.
Let's enquire a long,
For certaine we are not far off.
John.
Nor much nearer.
Exeunt.
Scæne 3.
Enter Duke, Petruchio, and Vechio.Vech.
You lost her yesternight.
Pet.
How thinke you sir?
Du.
Is your name Vechio?
Vech.
Yes sir.
Du.
And you can shew me
These things you promise.
Vech.
Your graces word bound to me,
No hand of Law shall seize me.
Du.
As I live sir—
Petr.
And as I live, that can do something too sir.
Vech.
I take your promises: stay here a little,
Till I prepare some Ceremonies, and I'le satisfie ye.
The Ladies name's Constantia?
Pet.
Yes
Vech.
I come straight.
Exit Vech.
Du.
Sure hee's a learned man.
Petr.
The most now living;
Did your grace marke when we told all these circumstances,
How ever and anon he bolted from us
To use his studies helpe?
Du.
Now I thinke rather
To talke with some familiar.
Petr.
Not unlikely,
For sure he has 'em subject.
Du.
How could he else
Tell when she went, and who went with her?
Petr.
True.
Du.
Or hit upon mine honour: or assure me
The Lady lov'd me dearely?
Enter Vechio in his habiliments.
Pet.
'Twas so.
Vech.
Now,
I do beseech your Grace sit downe, and you sir;
Nay pray sit close like brothers.
Petr.
A rare fellow.
Vech.
And what ye see, stir not at, nor use a word,
Untill I aske ye; for what shall appeare
Is but weake apparition and thin ayre
Not to be held, nor spoken too.
Knocking within.
John, Fredrick, and a Servant within.
Du.
We are counselled—
Vech.
What noise is that without there?
Fred.
Within.
We must speake with him.
Ser.
Within.
Hee's busie Gentlemen.
Iohn.
Within.
That's all one friend,
We must, and will speake with him.
Du.
Let 'em in sir,
We know their tongues and businesse, 'tis our owne,
And in this very cause that we now come for,
They also come to be instructed.
Vech.
Let 'em in then:
Sit down, I know your meaning.
Enter Fredrick, Iohn, and Servant.
Fred.
The Duke before us,
Now we shall sure know something.
Vech.
Not a question,
But make your eyes, your tongues—
Iohn.
This is a strange jugler,
Neither indent before hand for his payment,
Nor know the breadth of the businesse; sure his devell
Comes out of Lapland were they sell men winds,
For dead drinke, and old doublets.
Fred.
Peace, he conjures.
Iohn.
Let him, he cannot raise my devill.
Fred.
Prethee peace.
Vech.
Appeare, appeare,
And you soft winds so cleare,
That dance upon the leaves, and make them sing
Gentle love-layes to the Spring,
Gilding all the vales below
With your verdure as ye blow,
Raise these formes from under-ground
With a soft and happy sound.
Soft Musick.
Iohn.
This is an honest Conjurer, and a pretty Poet;
I like his words well, there's no bumbast in 'em,
But do you thinke now, he can cudgell up the devill,
With this short staffe of Verses?
19
Peace the spirits—
2. Shapes of women passe by.
Iohn.
Nay, and they be no worse—
Vech.
Do ye know these faces?
Duke.
No.
Vech.
Sit still upon your lives then: and marke what follows;
Away, away.
Iohn.
These devils do not paint sure?
Have they no sweeter shapes in hell?
Constantia passes by.
Fred.
Harke now Iohn.
Iohn.
I marry, this moves something like, this devill
Carries some metall in her gate.
Vech.
I find ye,
You would see her face unvail'd?
Du.
Yes.
Vech.
Be uncovered.
Du.
O heaven!
Vech.
Peace.
Petr.
See how she blushes.
Iohn.
Fredrick,
This devill for my money; this is she Boy,
Why dost thou shake? I burne.
Vech.
Sit still, and silent.
Du.
She lookes back at me; now she smiles sir.
Vech.
Silence.
Du.
I must rise, or I burst.
Exit. Const.
Vech.
Ye see what followes—
Du.
O gentle sir this shape agen.
Vech.
I cannot,
'Tis all disolv'd againe: this was the figure.
Du.
The very same sir.
Petr.
No hope once more to see it?
Ve.
You might have kept it longer, had ye spar'd it,
Now 'tis impossible.
Du.
No meanes to find it?
Ve.
Yes that there is: sit still a while, there's wine
To thaw the wonder from your hearts: drinke well sir.
Ex. Vech.
Iohn.
This Conjurer is a right good fellow too,
A lad of mettle; two such devils more
Would make me a Conjurer: what wine is it?
Fred.
Hollock.
Iohn.
The devil's in it then, looke how it dances?
Well, if I be—
Petr.
We are all before ye,
That's your best comfort sir.
Iohn.
By th'mas brave wine;
Nay, and the Devils live in this hell, I dare venture
Within these two months yet to be delivered
Of a large legion of 'em.
Enter Vechio.
Du.
Here a comes,
Silence of all sides Gentlemen.
Vec.
Good your grace,
Observe a stricter temper, and you too gallants,
You'l be deluded all else. This merry devill
That next appeares, for such a one you'l find it,
Must be cal'd up by a strange incantation,
A Song, and I must sing it: pray beare with me,
And pardon my rude pipe; for yet ere parting
Twenty to one I please ye.
Du.
We are arm'd Sir.
Pet.
Nor shall you see us more transgresse.
Fred.
What think'st thou
Now Iohn?
Iohn.
Why, now do I thinke Fredrick,
(And if I thinke amisse heaven pardon me,)
This honest Conjurer, with some foure or five
Of his good fellow devils, and my selfe,
Shall be yet drunke ere midnight.
Song.
Fred.
Peace, he conjures.
Iohn.
Why, this is the Song Fredrick: twenty pound now
To see but our Don Gillian.
Enter Landlady and the Child.
Fred.
Peace it appeares.
Iohn.
I cannot peace: devils in French hoods Fredrick?
Sathans old Siringes?
Du.
What's this?
Vech.
Peace.
Iohn.
She, Boy.
Fred.
What dost thou meane?
Iohn.
She, Boy, I say.
Fred.
Ha?
Iohn.
She, boy.
The very child too Fredrick;
Fred.
She laughes on us
Aloud Iohn, has the devill these affections?
I do beleeve 'tis she indeed.
Vech.
Stand still.
Iohn.
I will not;
Who calls Jeronimo from his naked bed?
Sweet Lady, was it you? If thou beest the devill,
First, having crost my selfe, to keep out wildfire,
Then said some speciall prayers to defend me
Against thy most unhallowed hood: have at thee.
Land.
Hold sir, I am no devill.
Iohn.
That's all one.
Land.
I am your very Landlady.
Iohn.
I defie thee:
Thus as St. Dunstan blew the devils nose
With a paire of tongs, even so right worshipfull—
Land.
Sweet son, I am old Gillion.
Du.
This is no spirit.
Iohn.
Art thou old Gillian, flesh and bone?
Land.
I am Son.
Vech.
Sit still sir, now I'le shew you all.
Ex. Vech.
Iohn.
Where's thy bottle?
Land.
Here, I beseech ye son—
Iohn.
For I know the devill
Cannot assume that shape.
Fred.
'Tis she Iohn, certaine—
Iohn.
A hogs poxe o'your mouldy chaps, what make you
Tumbling and juggling here?
Land.
I am quit now Signior,
For all the prankes you plaid, and railings at me,
For to tell true, out of a trick I put
Upon your high behaviours, which was a lye,
But then it serv'd my turne, I drew the Lady
Unto my kinsmans here, only to torture
Your Don-ships for a day or two; and secure her
Out of all thoughts of danger: here she comes now.
Enter Vechio, and Constantia.
Du.
May I yet speake?
Vech.
Yes, and embrace her too,
For one that loves you deerer—
Du.
O my sweetest.
Petr.
Blush not, I will not chide ye.
Const.
To add more
Unto the joy I know, I bring ye, see sir,
The happy fruit of all our vowes.
Du.
Heavens blessing
Be round about thee ever.
Iohn.
Pray blesse me to,
For if your grace be well instructed this way,
20
Du.
How sir?
Iohn.
I'le tell ye that anon.
Const.
'Tis true, this Gentleman
'Has done a charity worthy your favour,
And let him have it deare sir.
Du.
My best Lady
She has, and ever shall have: so must you sir,
To whom I am equall bound, as to my being.
Fred.
Your Graces humble servants—
Du.
Why kneele you sir?
Ve.
For pardon for my boldnesse: yet 'twas harmlesse
And all the art I have sir; those your grace saw
Which you thought spirits, were my neighbours children
Whom I instruct in Grammer, here, and Musick;
Their shapes, the peoples fond opinions,
Beleeving I can conjure, and oft repairing
To know of things stolne from 'em, I keepe about me,
And alwaies have in readinesse; by conjecture
Out of their owne confessions, I oft tell 'em
Things, that by chance have fallen out so: which way
(Having the persons here, I knew you sought for)
I wrought upon your grace: my end is mirth,
And pleasing, if I can, all parties.
Du.
I beleeve it,
For you have pleas'd me truly: so well pleas'd me,
That when I shall forget it—
Petr.
Here's old Antonio,
I spide him at a window, comming mainely
I know about his whore, the man you light on,
As you discovered unto me: good your Grace,
Let's stand by all, 'twill be a mirth above all,
To observe his pelting fury.
Vech.
About a wench sir?
Petr.
A young whore that has rob'd him.
Vech.
But do you know sir,
Where she is?
Petr.
Yes, and will make that perfect—
Vech.
I am instructed well then.
Iohn.
If he come
To have a devill shew'd him, by all meanes
Let me be he, I can rore rarely.
Petr.
Be so,
But take heed to his anger.
Vech.
Slip in quickly,
There you shall find suites of all sorts: when I call,
Be ready and come forward.
Ex. all but Vech.
Who's there come in?
Enter Antonio.
Ant.
Are you the Conjurer?
Vech.
Sir I can do a little
That way, if you please to imploy me.
Ant.
Presently shew me a devill that can tell—
Vech.
Where your wench is.
Ant.
You are i'th' right; as also where the Fidler
That was consenting to her.
Vech.
Sit ye there sir,
Ye shall know presently: can ye pray heartily?
Ant.
Why, is your devill so furious?
Vech.
I must shew ye
A forme, may chance affright ye.
Ant.
He must fart fire then:
Take you no care for me.
Vech.
Ascend Asterth,
Enter Don John like a Spirit.
Why, when, appeare I say—Now question him.
Ant.
Where is my whore Don devill?
Iohn.
Gone to China,
To be the great Chams Mistris.
Ant.
That's a lye devill:
Where are my jewels?
Iohn.
Pawn'd for Peticoates.
Ant.
That may be; where's the Fidler?
Iohn.
Condemn'd to th'Gallowes,
For robbing of a Mill.
Ant.
The lyingst devill
That e're I dealt withall, and the unlikeliest:
What was that Rascall hurt me?
Iohn.
I.
Ant.
How?
Iohn.
I.
Ant.
Who was he?
John.
I.
Ant.
Do ye here conjurer,
Dare you venture your devill?
Vech.
Yes.
Ant.
Then I'le venture my dagger;
Have at your devils pate: do ye mew?
Enter all.
Vech.
Hold.
Pet.
Hold there,
I do command ye hold.
Ant.
Is this the devill?
Why Conjurer—
Pet.
'Has been a devill to you sir.
But now you shall forget all: your whores safe,
And all your Jewels: your Boy too.
John.
Now the devill indeed
Lay his ten claws upon thee, for my pate
Finds what it is to be a fend.
Ant.
All safe?
Pet.
Pray ye know this person: all's right now.
Ant.
Your grace
May now command me then: but where's my whore?
Petr.
Ready to goe to whiping.
Ant.
My whore whipt?
Petr.
Yes, your whore without doubt Sir.
Ant.
Whipt? pray Gentlemen.
Du.
Why, would you have her once more rob ye? the young boy
You may forgive, he was intic'd.
Iohn.
The Whore sir,
Would rather carry pitty: a hansome Whore.
Ant.
A Gentleman I warrant thee.
Petr.
Let's in all,
And if we see contrition in your whore sir,
Much may be done.
Duke.
Now my deare faire, to you,
And the full consummation of my Vow.
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