University of Virginia Library

SCENE VI.

Enter Thomas, Dorothy, and Maid.
Thom.
Come quickly, quickly, paint me handsomely,
Take heed my nose be not in grain too;
Come Doll, Doll, disen me.

Dor.
If you should play now
Your Devils parts again.

Thom.
Yea and nay, Dorothy.

Dor.
If ye do any thing, but that ye have sworn to,
Which only is access.

Thom.
As I am a Gentleman;
Out with this hair, Doll, handsomely.

Dor.
You have your Breeches?

Thom.
I prithee away, thou know'st I am monstrous ticklish,
What, dost thou think I love to blast my Buttocks?

Dor.
I'll plague ye for this Roguery; for I know well
What ye intend, Sir.

Thom.
On with my muffler.

Dor.
Ye are a sweet Lady; come, let's see you courtesie;
What, broke i'th bum? hold up your head.

Thom.
Plague on't,
I shall bepiss my Breeches if I cowr thus,
Come, I am ready.

Maid.
At all points as like, Sir,
As if you were my Mistress.

Dor.
Who goes with ye?

Thom.
None but my fortune, and my self.
[Exit. Tho.

Dor.
'Bless ye:
Now run for thy life, and get before him,
Take the by-way, and tell my Cousin Mary
In what shape he intends to come to cozen her;
I'll follow at thy heels my self, fly Wench.

Maid.
I'll do it.

[Exit.
Enter Sebastian, and Thomas.
Dor.
My Father has met him; this goes excellent,
And I'll away in time; look to your Skin, Thomas.

[Exit.
Seb.
What, are you grown so corn fed, Goody Gillian,
You will not know your Father? what vagaries
Have you in hand? what out-leaps, durty heels,
That at these hours of night ye must be gadding,
And through the Orchard take your private passage?
What, is the breeze in your Breech? or has your Brother
Appointed you an hour of meditation.
How to demean himself, get ye to bed, drab,
Or I'll so crab your Shoulders; ye demure Slut,
Ye civil dish of sliced Beef, get ye in.

Thom.
I wi' not, that I wi' not.

Seb.
Is't ev'n so, Dame?
Have at ye with a night Spell then.

Thom.
'Pray hold, Sir.

Seb.
St. George, St. George, our Ladies Knight,
He walks by day, so does he by night,
And when he had her found,
He her beat, and her bound,
Until to him her troth she plight,
She would not stir from him that night.

Thom.
Then have at ye with a Counter Spell,
From Elves, Hobs, and Fayries, that trouble our Dayries,
From Fire Drakes and Fiends, and such as the Devil sends,
Defend us good Heaven.

[Exit.
Enter Launcelot.
Laun.
Bless me master; look up, Sir, I beseech ye'
Up with your eyes to heaven.

Seb.
Up with your nose, Sir,
I do not bleed, 'twas a sound knock she gave me,
A plaguey mankind Girl, how my brains totters?
Well, go thy ways, thou hast got one thousand pound more
With this dog trick,
Mine own true spirit in her too.

Laun.
In her? alas Sir,
Alas poor Gentlewomen, she a hand so heavy,
To knock ye like a Calf down, or so brave a courage
To beat her father? if you could believe, Sir.

Seb.
Who would'st thou make me believe it was, the Devil?

Laun.
One that spits fire as fast as he sometimes, Sir,
And changes shapes as often; your Son Thomas;
Never wonder, if it be not he, straight hang me.

Seb.
He? if it be so,
I'll put thee in my Will, and there's an end on't.

Laun.
I saw his legs, h'as Boots on like a Player,
Under his wenches cloaths, 'tis he, 'tis Thomas
In his own Sisters Cloaths, Sir, and I can wast him.

Seb.
No more words then, we'll watch him, thou'lt not believe Launce,
How heartily glad I am.

Laun.
May ye be gladder,
But not this way, Sir.

Seb.
No more words, but watch him.

[Exeunt.