 | The Noble Gentleman |  |
Actus quintus.
Enter Duke, and Jaques.Duke.
Not gon unto my Tenants to relate
My grace and honour; and the mightynesse
Of my new name which would have struck a terrour
Through their course doublets, to their very hearts?
Ja.
Alas great Lord and Master, I could scarce
With safety of my life returne againe
Unto your graces house, and but for one
That had some mercie, I had sure been hang'd.
Duke.
My house?
Ja.
Yes Sir, this house, your house 'ith towne.
Duke.
Jaques we are displeas'd, hath it no name?
Ja.
What name?
Duke.
Dull rogue; what hath the King bestowed
So many honours, open'd all his springes,
And showerd his graces downe upon my head,
And has my house no name? no title yet?
Burgundy house you Asse.
Ja.
Your graces mercy,
And when I was come off, and had recover'd
Burgundy house, I durst not yet be seene,
But lay all night for feare of pursuiuants
In Burgundy privie house.
Duke.
O Sir, 'tis well,
Can you remember now? but Jaques know
Since thy intended journey is so croste,
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Ja.
Sir?
Duke.
Have I not said this morning?
Ja.
But consider,
That nothing is prepared yet for your journey,
Your graces teames not here to draw your cloathes;
And not a carrier yet in town to send by.
Duke.
I say once more go about it,
You'r a wise man, you'de have me linger time,
Till I have worne these cloathes out: will ye go?
Make ye ready wife.
Exit. Jaques.
Enter Wife.
Dutches.
I am so, mighty Duke.
Duke.
Nay for the Countrey.
Dutch.
How? for the Countrey?
Duke.
Yes I am resolv'd to see my Tenants in this bravery
Make them a sumptuous feast, with a slight shew,
Of Dives, and Lazarus, and a squib or two,
And so returne.
Dutches.
VVhy Sir? you are not mad?
Duke.
How many Dukes have ye known mad? I pray speake.
Dutch.
You are the first Sir, and I hope the last,
But you are stark horne mad.
Duke.
Forbeare good wife.
Dutch.
As I have faith you'r mad: your hornes
Have been to heavy for you, and have broke
Your skull in pieces: If you be in earnest.
Duke.
VVell you shall know my skull and wits are whole
Ere I have done, and yet I am in earnest.
Dutches.
VVhy, do you think I'le go?
Duke.
I know you shall.
Dutch.
I shall? by what authority shall I?
Duke.
I am your husband.
Dutch.
True I confesse it,
And by that name the world hath given you
A power to sway me; but Sir you shall know
There is a greater bond that tyes me here,
Alleagance to the King; has he not heapt
Those honours on you to no other end,
But to stay you here, and shall I have a hand
In the offending such a gracious Prince?
Besides, our owne undoings lyes uppon 't,
Were there no other cause, I do not see,
Why you should go: If I should say you should not.
Duke.
Do you thinke so?
Dutch.
Yes faith.
Duke.
Now good wife make me understand that point.
Dutch.
Why that you shall, did I not bring you hither?
Duke.
Yes.
Dutch.
And were not all those honours wrought out of the fire by me?
Duke.
By you?
Dutch.
By me; how strang you make it?
When you came first did you not walke the Town,
In a long cloake halfe compasse? an old hat,
Linde with vellure, and on it for a band,
A skeine of crimson cruell?
Duke.
I confesse it.
Dutch.
And tooke base courses?
Duke.
Base?
Dutch.
Base by this light, extreame base, and scurvie, monstrous base.
Duke.
What were these courses, wife?
Dutch.
Why you shall know,
Did you not thus attired trot up and down,
Plotting for vild and lowsie offices,
And agreed with the Sergiant of the beares,
To buy his place? deny this if you can.
Duke.
Why it is true.
Dutch.
And was not that monstrous base?
Duke.
Be advis'd wife, a beares a princly beast.
Dutch.
A beare?
Duke.
Yes wife, and one side venson.
Dutch.
You'r more then one side toole, I'm sure of that
Duke.
But since you have vext me wife, know you shall go
Nor you shall never have penny from me.
Dutch.
Nay I have done, and though I know 'twill be
Your overthrow, I'le not forsake you now.
Duke.
Be ready them.
Exit Duke.
Dutch.
I will.
Enter Bewf. Long. Serua. Maria.
Long.
What are you married Bewford?
Bew.
I as fast as words, and hearts, and hands & Priest can make us.
Dutch.
O Gentlemen, we are undone.
Long.
For what?
Dutch.
This Gentleman the Lord of lorne my husband,
Will be gon downe to shew his play fellowes,
Where he is gay.
Bew.
What, downe into the Countrey?
Dutch.
Yes faith, was ever foole but he so crosse?
I would as faine be gracious to him,
As he could wish me, but he will not let me;
Speake faithfully, will he deserve my mercy?
Long.
According to his merits he should weare,
A guarded coate, and a great wooden dagger.
Dutch.
If there be any woman that doth knowe,
The duties 'twixt a husband and his wife,
Will speake but one word for him he shall scape;
Is not that reasonable? but ther's none,
Be ready therefore, to pursue the plot
We had against a pinch, for he must stay.
Long.
VVaite you here for him whilst I go
And make the King acquainted with your sport,
For feare he be incens'd for our attempting;
Places of so great honour.
Exit Long.
Dutch.
Go, be speedy.
Enter Duke, Cozen, Wife, Jaques, Man.
Duke.
Come let me see how all things are disposed of.
Ja.
One Cart will serve for all your furniture,
With roome enough behinde to ease the footman
A capcase for your linnen, and your plate,
VVith a strange locke that opens with Amen;
For my young Lord because of easie portage,
A quiver of your graces linde with Cunney,
Made to be hang'd about the Nurses neck,
Thus with a scarfe or towell.
Duke.
Very good.
Ja.
Nay, 'tis well, but had you staid another weeke,
I would have had you, furnisht in such pomp,
As never Duke of Burgundy was furnisht
You should have had a sumpter though't had cost me
The laying on my selfe: where now you are faine,
To hire a rippers mare, and buy new dossers,
But I have got them painted with your armes,
VVith a faire darnex Carpet of my owne
Laid crosse for the more state.
Duke.
Jaques I thanke you: your Carpet shall be brusht
And sent you home; what, are you ready wife?
Dutch.
An houre agoe
Duke.
I cannot chuse but kisse thy royall lips,
Deare Dutches mine, thou art so good a woman.
Bew.
Yould say so if you knew all, goodman Duckling.
Coz.
This was the happiest fortune could befall me
Now in his absence will I follow close
Mine owne preferment, and I hope ere long,
To make my meane and humble name so strong,
As my great Couzens, when the world shall know,
I beare too hot a spirit to live low
44
I'le have My Ushers, and my foure Lacquies,
Six spare croches too: but mum, no more,
What I intend to do, I'le keep in store.
Duke.
Mountye, mountye, Iaques, be our querry.
Groom.
To horse there Gentlemen, and fall in couples.
Duke.
Come honoured Duchesse.
Enter Longavile.
Long.
Stand thou proud man.
Duke.
Thieves, Iaques, raise the people.
Long.
No, raise no people, 'tis the Kings command,
Which bids thee once more stand thou haughty man,
Thou art a monster, for thou art ungratefull,
And like a fellow of a rebell nature,
Hast flung from his embraces: and for
His honours given thee, hast not returnd
So much as thanks, and to oppose his will,
Resolv'd to leave the Court, and set the Realm
A fire, in discontent, and open action:
Therefore he bids thee stand thou proud man,
Whilst with the whisking of my sword about
I take thy honours off: this first sad whiske
Takes off thy Duke-dome, thou art but an Earl.
Duke.
You are mistaken, Longavile.
Long.
O would I were, this second whiske divides
Thy Earldome from thee, thou art yet a Baron.
Duke.
No more whisks if you love me Longavile.
Long.
Two whisks are past, and two are yet behind,
Yet all must come, but not to linger time.
With these two whisks I end, now Mount Marine,
For thou art now no more, so says the King,
And I have done his Highnesse will with griefe.
Duke.
Disgraced from my honours?
Lon.
'Tis too certaine.
Duke.
I am no Traitor sure that I know of;
Speak Iaques? hast thou ever heard me utter word
Tending to treason, or to bring in the enemy?
Ia.
Alas sir I know nothing,
Why should your Worship bring me in to hang me?
God's my judge Gentlemen I never medled
But with the Brushing of his cloaths, or fetching
In water in a morning for his hands.
Cous.
Are these the honours of this place? Antony
Help me to take her gowne off quickly
Or I'le so swinge ye for't—
Wife.
Why husband? Sir?
Cous.
I'le not loose a penny by this towne.
Long.
Why what do you meane sir, have her to her lodging,
And there undresse her, I will waite upon her.
Cous.
Indeed you shall not, your moneth is out I take it,
Get you out before me wife:
Couzen farewell, I told you long agoe,
That pride begins with pleasure, ends with woe.
Exit with's Wife.
Bew.
Goe thy way sentences, 'twill be thy fortune,
To live and dye a Cuckold and Church-warden.
Duch.
O my poor husband! what a heavy fortune
Is fallen upon him?
Bew.
Me thinks 'tis strange,
That heaven fore-warning great men of their falls,
With such plaine tokens, they should not avoid them?
For the last night betwixt eleven and twelve,
Two great and hideous blazing stars were seen
To fight a long houre by the clocke, the one
Drest like a Duke, the other like a King,
Till at the last the crowned star ore-came.
Ser.
Why do ye stand so dead, Monsieur Marine?
Duke.
So Cæsar fell when in the Capitoll
They gave his body two and thirty wounds.
Be warned all ye Peers, and by my fall,
Hereafter learn to let your wives rule all.
Ser.
Monsieur Marine, pray let me speak with you;
Sir I must wave you to conceale this party,
It stands upon my utter overthrow;
Seem not discontented, nor do not stir a foote,
For if you do, you and your hope—
I sweare you are a lost man if you stir.
And have an eye to Bewford, he'l tempt you.
Bew.
Come, come, for shame goe downe;
Were I Marine, by heaven I would goe down:
And being there, I would rattle him such an answer
Should make him smoake.
Duke.
Good Monsieur Bewford peace
Leave these rebellious words,
Or by the honours which I once enjoyed,
And yet may sweare by,
I'le tell the King of your proceedings;
I am satisfied.
Wife.
You talkt of going down when 'twas not fit,
But now let's see your spirit,
A thousand and a thousand will expect it.
Duke.
Why wife, are you mad?
Wife.
No nor drunk, but I'de have you know your own strength.
Duke.
You talk like a most foolish woman wife;
I tell you I will stay, yet I have a
Cratchet troubles me.
Long.
More cratchets yet?
Duke.
Follow me Jaq. I must have thy counsell,
I will returne againe, stay you there Wife.
Long.
I fear this losse of honour will give him some few stooles.
Wife.
No, no, he is resolv'd, he will not
Stir a foote I'le lay my life.
Bew.
I but hee's discontented, how shall we resolve that
And make him stay with comfort?
Wife.
Faith Bewford we must even let nature work,
For hee's the sweetest temper'd man for that
As one can wish, for let men but goe about to foole him,
And hee'l have his finger as deep in't as the best;
But see where he comes frowning, blesse us all!
Enter Duke.
Duke.
Off with your hats, for here doth come
The high and mighty Duke of Burgundy.
What ever you may think, I have thought
And thought, and thought upon't, and I finde it plaine,
The King cannot take backe what he has given,
Unlesse I forfeit it by course of Law.
Not all the water in the river Sene,
Can wash the blood out of these Princely veines.
Wife.
Godamercy husband, thou art the best
To worke out a thing at a pinch, in France.
Duke.
I will ascend my state againe,
Duchesse take your place,
And let our Champion enter.
Long.
Has he his Champion? that's excellent.
Duke.
And let loud musick sound before his entrance.
Sound Trumpet.
Enter Iaques in armour, one carrying a Scuchion before him, and a two-handed sword.
Wife.
How well our Champion doth demean himselfe,
As if he had been made for such an action?
Me thinks his sturdy trunchion he doth wield,
Like Mars approaching to a bloody field.
Duke.
I think ther's no man so desperate
To dare encounter with our Champion,
But trust me, Iaques, thou hast pleas'd us well;
Once more our warlike musick, then proceed.
En: Shat.
Shat.
What wondrous age is this? what close proceedings?
45
To what intent do not our States-men search?
O no, they look not into simple truth;
For I am true, and they regard not me,
A man in armour too: God save the King
The world will end, theres nought but treachery.
Ia.
I Ja. servant to the high & mighty Godfrey Duke of
Burgundy, do come hither to prove by natural strength and
activity of my body, without the help of sorcery, inchantment
or negromancy, that the said Godfrey late of Mount
Marine, & now of Burgundy, hath perfect right therto, notwithstanding
the Kings command to the contrary, & no
other person whatsoever: & in token that I wilbe ready to
make good the same. I throw down my gage, wc
h is my honour,
pronounced the 37. of Feb. stilo novo, God save the D.
Shat.
Of all the plots the King hath laid for me
This was the shrewdest, 'tis my life they seeke,
And they shall have it: if I should refuse
To accept the challenge in the Kings behalfe,
They have some cause to take away my life,
And if I do accept it, who can tell,
But I may fall by doubtfull chance of war?
'Twas shrewd, but I must take the least of evills,
I take thy gauntlet up thou treacherous man,
That stands in armed coate against the King,
Whom God preserve, and with my single sword
Will justifie what ever he commands;
I'le watch him for catching of my words.
Duke.
Jaques goe on, defend our Princely title.
Shat.
Why shrinkst thou backe? thou hast an evill cause;
Come forward man, I have a rocke about me,
I fight for my true Liege.
Du.
Goe forward Jaques.
Ja.
I do beeseech your Grace to pardon me,
I will not fight with him, with any else
I'le shew my resolution speedily.
Shat.
Come do thy worst, for the King shall see
All is not true that is reported of me.
Ja.
I may not fight with him by law of armes.
Du.
What? shall my title fall? wilt thou not fight?
Ja.
Never with him that once hath sav'd my life.
Shat.
Dar'st thou not fight? behold then I doe goe
Strong with the zeale I beare my Soveraign,
And seize upon that haughty man himselfe.
Descend the steps that (thou hast thus usurpt
Against the King and State) downe to the ground,
And if thou doe utter but a syllable
To crosse the Kings intent, thou art but dead;
There, lye upon the earth and pine and dye.
Did ever any man wade through such stormes,
To save his life, as poore Shattillion?
Long.
I feare this challenge hath spoil'd all.
Duch.
Ne're feare it, hee'l work it out againe servant.
See where Shattillions Love, poor Lady, comes.
En: Love.
Duke.
Jaques.
Ja.
Lye still sir if you love your life, I'le whistle when he's gone,
Love.
O Gentlemen, I charge you by the love
Which you beare to women, take some pitty
On this distressed man, help to restore
That pretious jewell to him he hath lost.
Bew.
Lady what ever power doth lye in us
By art or prayer, or danger, we are yours,
Love.
A strange conceite hath wrought this malady,
Conceites againe must bring him to himselfe,
My strict denyall to his will wrought this?
And if you could but draw his wilder thoughts
To know me, he would sure recover sense.
Long.
That charge I'le undertake.
Duke.
Looke Jaques, look, for Gods sake let me rise,
This greatnesse is a Jade, I cannot sit it.
Ja.
His sword is up, and yet he watcheth you.
Du.
I'le down again, pray for thy Master, Jaques.
Shat.
Now the King may see all the suggestions are not true,
He hath receiv'd against my loyalty;
When all men else refuse, I fight his battails,
And thrust my body into dangers mouth;
I am become his Champion, and this sword
Has taught his enemies to know themselves;
O that he would no more be jealous of me!
Long.
Monsieur Shattillion, the King assigns you,
That for this valiant loyall act of yours,
He hath forgot all jealousies and feares,
And never more will tempt you into danger.
Shat.
But how shall I believe this? what new token
Of reconcilement will he shew me?
Let him release my poor love from her torment,
From her hard fare and strict imprisonment.
Long.
He hath done this to win your after-love,
And see your Lady sent you from the King
By these two Gentlemen: be thankfull for her.
Shat.
She lives, she lives, I know her by the power
Shoots from her eyes.
Love.
Rise deare Shattillion.
Shat.
I Know my duty,
Next unto my King, I am to kneele to you.
Love.
I'le have you rise, fetch me a chair, sit down Shat.
Shat.
I am commanded, and faith tell me Mistris,
What usage have you had? pray be plaine?
Love.
O my most lov'd Shattillion, paine enough,
But now I am free, thanks to my God and King.
Long.
His eyes grow very heavy, not a word,
That his weak senses may come sweetly home.
Shat.
The King is honourable.
Duke.
When do you whistle Jaques?
Ja.
By and by.
Long.
Come hither Monsieur, canst thou laugh a little?
Ser.
Yes Sir.
Long.
So thou shalt then. Bewford how dost thou?
Bew.
Why well.
Long.
I'me glad on't, and how does thy wife?
Bew.
Why you may see her Sir, she stands behind you.
Lon.
By the mass she's there indeed, but wher's her belly?
Bew.
Belly?
Lon.
Her great belly man: what hast thou sent thee?
Ser.
A boy I'le lay my life, it tumbled so.
Bew.
Catcht by this light.
Long.
I'le be a gossip Bewford.
Ser.
And I.
Long.
I have an odd Apostle spoone.
Bew.
S'foote catcht.
Duch.
Why what's the matter Gentlemen?
Long.
He's married to your woman.
Duch.
And I not know it?
Ser.
'Twas a veniall sin.
Bew.
Gall, gall, gall.
Duch.
Forgive her Monsieur Bewford, 'twas her love.
Bew.
You may rise if you please, I must endure it.
Long.
See how my great Lord lyes upon the ground
And dare not stir yet?
Jaques, whistles?
Duke.
Jaques, Jaq. is the Kings Champion gone yet,
Ja.
No, but hee's asleep.
Duke.
Is he asleep art sure?
Ia.
I am sure he is, I heare him snore.
Duke.
Then by your favours Gentlemen I rise,
And know I am a Duke still.
46
And I am his Champion.
Duch.
Hold thee there, and all France cannot mend thee.
Du.
I am a Prince as great within my thoughts
As when the whole state did adorn my person;
What tryall can be made to try a Prince?
I will oppose this noble corps of mine
To any danger that may end the doubt.
Duch.
Great Duke and husband there is but one way
To satisfie the world of our true right,
And it is dangerous.
Duke.
What may it be?
Were it to bring the great Turke bound in chaines
Through France in triumph: or to couple up
The Sophie, and great Prester Iohn together,
I would attempt it Duchesse, tell the course.
Duch.
There is a strong opinion through the world,
And no doubt grounded on experience
That Lyons will not touch a lawfull Prince,
If you be confident then of your right,
Amongst the Lions beare your naked body,
And if you come off cleare and never winch,
The world will say you are a perfect Prince.
Du.
I thank you Duchesse for your kinde advice,
But now we do not affect those ravenous beasts.
Long.
A Lyon is a beast to try a King;
But for the triall of such a state like this
Pliny reports a mastive dog will serve.
Du.
We will not deale with dogs at all: but men.
Ser.
You shall not need to deale with them at all,
Hark you Sir, the King doth know you are a Duke:
Duke.
No, does he?
Ser.
Yes, and is content you shall be, but with this caution,
That none know it but your selfe:
For if ye do, he'l take it away by act of Parliament.
Du.
Here's my hand, and whilst I live or breath,
No living wight shall know I am a Duke.
Ser.
Marke me directly Sir, your wife may know it.
Du.
May not Jaques?
Ser.
Yes, he may.
Du.
May not my countrey Couzen?
Ser.
By no meanes sir, if you love your life and state.
Du.
Well then, know all I am no Duke.
Ser.
No I'le sweare it.
Long.
See he wakes.
Shat.
Where am I, or where have I been all this while?
Sleep hath not sate so found upon mine eyes
But I remember well that face;
O thou too cruell, leave at length to scorne
Him that but looking on thy beauty dyes,
Either receive me, or put out my eyes.
Love.
Dearest Shattillion see upon my knees,
I offer up my love, forget my wrongs.
Shat.
Art thou mine own?
Love.
By heaven I am.
Shat.
Then all the world is mine.
Love.
I have stranger things to tel thee, my dearest love.
Shat.
Tell nothing but that thou art mine own:
I do not care to know where I have been,
Or how I have liv'd, or any thing,
But that thou art my own.
Bew.
Well wife, though 'twere a trick that made us wed,
Wee'l make our selves merry soone in bed.
Du.
Know all I am no Duke.
Wife.
What saye?
Du.
Jaques?
Ja.
Sir.
Du.
I am a Duke.
Both.
Are yee?
Duke.
Yes faith, yes faith.
But it must only run amongst our selves,
And Jaques thou shalt be my Secretary still.
Wife.
Kinde Gentlemen, leade in Shattillion,
For he must needs be weak and sickly yet.
Now all my labours have a perfect end as I could wish,
Let all young sprightly wives that have
Dull foolish Coxcombs to their husbands,
Learn by me their duties, what to doe,
VVhich is to make 'em fooles, and please 'em too.
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