 | The Coxcombe |  |
Actus Primus
Scena Prima.
Enter Richardo and Viola.Rich.
Let us make use of this stolne privacy,
And not loose time in protestation, mistris,
For twere in me a kind of breach of faith,
To say againe I love you.
Uio.
Sweet speake softly
For though the venture of your love to me,
Meetes with a willing, and a full returne:
Should it arrive unto my Fathers knowledge;
These were our last discourse.
Rich.
How shall he know it?
Uiol.
His watching cares are such, for my advancement,
That every where his eye is fix'd upon me:
This night that does afford us some small freedom,
At the request and much entreaty of,
The mistris of the house, was hardly given me:
For I am never sufferd to stir out,
But he hath spies upon me, yet I know not
You have so won upon me, that could I thinke
You would love faithfully (though to entertaine
Another thought of you, would be my death)
I should adventure on his utmost anger.
Rich.
Why, do you thinke I can be false?
Uio.
No faith,
You have an honest face, but if you should—
Rich.
Let all the stored vengeance of heavens justice—
Uio.
No more, I do believe you, the dance ended,
Which this free womans ghests have vow'd to have
Ere they depart, I will make home, and store me
With all the Iewells, Chaines, and gold are trusted
Unto my custody, and at the next corner,
To my Fathers house, before one at the farthest,
Be ready to receive me.
Rich.
I desire
No bond beyond your promise, let's go in,
To talke thus much before the doore, may breed,
Suspition.
Enter Mercury and Antonio talking.
Uiol.
Here are company too.
Rich.
Away,
Those powers that prosper true and honest loves
Will blesse our undertakeings.
Uio.
'Tis my wish Sir.
Exit Rich and Uiol.
Mer.
Nay, Sir, excuse me, I have drawne you to,
Too much expence already in my travell:
And you have been to forward in your love;
To make my wants your owne, allow me manners
Which you must grant I want, should I encrease,
The bond in which your courtisyes have tide me:
Be still consuming you, give me leave
To take mine owne wayes now; and I shall often
With willingnesse come to visit you, and then thanke you.
Ant.
By this hand I could be angry, what do you thinke me?
Must we that have so long time, beene as one
Seene Cityes, Countryes, Kingdomes, and their wonders
Beene bedfellowes, and in our various journey
Mixt all our observations, part (as if
We were 2. Carriers at 2. severall wayes,
And as the forehorse guides, cry God be with you)
Without or complement, or cerimony?
In travelers that know transalpine garbes,
Though our designes are neere so serious, friend,
It were a capitall crime; it must not be,
Nay what is more, you shall not, you ere long
Shall see my house, and finde what I call mine
Is wholly at your service.
Mer,
'Tis this tires me,
Sir I were easily woo'd if nothing else
But my will lay in the choyce, but 'tis not so
My friends and kindred that have part of me,
And such on whom my chiefest hopes depend,
Iustly expect the tender of my love
After my travell, then mine owne honesty
Tells me 'tis poore, having indifferent meanes
To keep me in my quallity and rank,
At my returne to tire anothers bounty,
And let mine owne grow lusty, pardon me.
Ant.
I will not, cannot, to conclude I dare not:
Can any thing confer'd upon my friend
Be burthensome to me? for this excuse
Had I no reason else you should not leave me,
By a travellers faith you should not, I have said,
And then you know my humour, ther's no contending.
Mer.
Is there no way to scape this Inundation?
I shall be drown'd with folly if I go:
And after 9. dayes men may take me up,
With my gall broken.
Ant.
Are you yet resolv'd?
Mer.
Wood you would spare me.
Ant.
By this light I cannot
By all, that may be sworne by.
Mer.
Patience helpe me,
And heaven grant his folly be not catching:
If it be, the townes undone, I now would give
A reasonable sum of gold to any sheriff,
That would but lay an execution on me,
And free me from his company; while he was abroad,
His want of witt and language kept him dumbe:
But Balaam's Asse will speake now without spurring.
Ant.
Speake, have I won you?—
Enter Servant and Musitian.
Mer.
You are not to be resisted.
Ser.
Be ready I entreat you the dance done,
Besides a liberall reward I have,
A bottle of sherry in my power shall beget
New crotchets in your heads.
Musit.
Tush feare not us, wee'le do our parts.
Ser.
Go in,
Ant.
I know this fellow.
Belong you to the house?
Ser.
I serve the Mistris.
Ant.
Pretty, and short, pray you sir then informe her,
Two Gentlemen are covetous to be honour'd,
With her faire presence.
Ser.
She shall know so much,
This is a merry night with us, and forbid not
Welcom to any that lookes like a man:
Ant.
Nay follow, I have a trick in't.
Exit.
Enter Uberto, Siluio, Richardo, Maria, Pedro. Portia, Uiola, with others.
Uber.
Come wher's this masque? fairest for our cheare,
Our thankes and service, may you long surviue,
To joy in many of these nights.
Mar.
I thanke you.
Uber.
We must have musique too, or ells you give us,
But halfe a welcom
Mar.
Pray you Sir excuse me.
Silu.
By no meanes Lady.
Uber.
Weele crowne your liberall feast,
With some delightfull straine fitting your love:
And this good company.
Mar.
Since you enforce it,
I will not plead the excuse of want of skill
Or be, or nice, or curious, every year,
I celebrate my marriage night; and will
'Till I see my absent husband.
Uber.
'Tis fit freedome.
Silu.
Richardo thou art dull—
Enter Servant.
Rich.
I shall be lighter,
When I have had a heate.
Mar.
Now Sir, the newes?
Ser.
Mistris there are 2. Gentlemen.
Mar.
Where?
Ser.
Complementing who should first enter.
Mar.
What are they?
Ser.
Heaven knowes, but for their strangenesse, have
you never seen a Cat wash her face?
Uber.
Yes.
Ser.
Iust such a stir they keep if you make but hast,
You may see 'em yet before they enter.
Enter Antonio and Mercurie.
Mer.
Let 'em be what they will, wee'le give them faire
Entertaine, and gentle welcome.
Ant.
It shall be so.
Mer.
Then let it be your pleasure.
Ant.
Let's stand a side and you shall see us have
Fine sport anon.
Mer.
A faire society, do you know these Gentle women?
Ant.
Yes.
Mer.
What are they?
Ant.
The second is a neighbours daughter, her name is Uiola.
There is my kinsmans wife, Portia her name, and a
Friend too.
Mer.
Let her—what's she that leades the dance?
1. Ser.
A Gentlewoman.
Mer.
I see that.
1. Ser.
Indeed?
Mer.
What?
1. Ser.
A Gentlewoman.
Mer.
Udsfoote, good Sir what's she that leades the dance?
2. Ser.
My Mistris.
Mer.
VVhat els?
2. Ser.
My Mistris, Sir.
Mer.
Your Mistris? a pox on you,
What a fry of fooles are here? I see 'tis treason to understād
in this house; if nature were not better to them, then they
can be to themselves, they would scant hitt their mouthes;
my Mistris? Is there any one with so much witt in's head,
that can tell me at the first sight, what Gentlewoman that
is that leades the dance?
Ant.
'Tis my wife.
Mer.
Hum.
Ant.
How do'st thou like her?
Mer.
VVell, a pretty Gentlewoman.
Ant.
Prethee be quiet.
Mer.
I would I could
Let never any hereafter that's a man,
That has affections in him and free passions,
Receive the least tye from such a foole as this is,
That holds so sweet a wife, 'tis lamentable to consider truly
What right he robbs himselfe of, and what wrong
He doth the youth of such a Gentlewoman?
That knowes her beauty is no longer hers,
Then men will please to make it so, and use it
Neither of which lyes freely in a husband,
O what have I don, what have I don, Coxcomb?
If I had never seen, or never tasted
The goodnesse of this kix, I had beene a made man,
But now to make a Cuckold is a sinne
Against all forgivenesse, worse then a murther;
I have a Woolfe by the eares, and am bitten both wayes.
Ant.
How now friend, what are you thinking of?
Mer.
Nothing concerning you, I must be gone.
Ant.
Pardon me, Ile have no going sir.
Mer.
Then good sir give me leave to goe to bed,
I am very weary and ill tempered.
Ant.
You shall presently, the dance is done.
1 Ser.
Mistris, these are the gentlemen.
Mar.
My husband will come home, deare sir.
Mer.
She's faire still, O that I were a knave or durst be one,
For thy sake coxcobe; he that invented honesty, undid me.
Ant.
I had you had not knowne me, y'are merry tis well thought,
And how ist with these worthy Gent?
Vb. &c Sil.
We are glad to see you here againe
Ant.
Oh Gent, what ha' you lost? but get you into travells,
There you may learne, I cannot say what hidden vertues.
Mer.
Hidden from you I am sure,
My blood boyles like a furnace,
Shees a faire one.
Ant.
Pray entertaine this Gent. with all the curtesie,
Fitting my most especiall friend.
Mar.
What this poore house may yeild,
To make you welcome deare sir command
Without more complement.
Mer.
I thanke you:
Shee's wise and speakes well too, oh what a blessing
Is gone by me neere to be recovered?
Well, twas an old shame the Devill laid up for mee, and
now has hit me home; if there be any waies to bee dishonest
and save my selfe yet,—No it must not bee, why
should I bee a foole to—Yet those eyes would tempt
another Adam, how they call to me, and tell me—
Sfoote they shall not tell me any thing, sir will you walke
in.
Ant.
How ist Signior?
Mer.
Crazie a litle.
Mar.
What ayle you sir?
Whats in my power pray make use of, sir.
Mer.
Tis that must doe me good, she do's not mock
An't please you nothing, my disease is only wearinesse.
Vb.
Come Gent. weele not keepe you from your bedds
too long.
Rich.
I ha some businesse, and tis late, and you far from
your lodging.
Sil.
Well.
Exit. Manent, Ant. Mar. and Mer.
Ant.
Come my deare Mercury, ile bring you to your
chamber, and then I am for you, Maria, thou art a new
wife to me now, and thou shalt finde it, ere I sleepe.
Mer.
And I, an old asse to my selfe, mine owne rod
whips me,—good sir no more of this, tis tedious, you
Exit Ant. &c Mer.
This foole, and his faire wife have made me franticke
From two such physickes for the soule, deliver me.
Enter Richardo, Vberto, Pedro, &c Silvio.
Vb.
VVell, you must have this wench then.
Ric.
I hope so, I am much o'th bow hand else.
Ped.
VVood I were hangd, tis a good loving little foole
that dares venture her selfe upon a coast she never knew
yet, but these women, when they are once thirteene, god
speede the plough.
Sil.
Faith they'le venture further, so their lading then
a Merchant, and through as many stormes, but theyle bee
fraughted, they are made like Carrecks only strength and
storage.
Ric.
Come, come, you talke, you talke.
Sil.
VVe doe so, but tell me Richardo, woote thou marry her?
Ric.
Marry her? why what should I do with her?
Ped.
Pox, I thought we should have had all shares in her
like lawfull prize.
Ric.
No by my faith sir, you shall pardon me, I lancht
her at my owne charge without partners, and so ile keepe
her.
Vb.
VVhats the houre?
Rich.
Twelve.
Vb.
VVhat shall we doe the while? tis yet scarce eleven.
Sil.
Theres no standing here, is not this the place?
Ric.
Yes.
Ped.
And to go back unto her fathers house, may breede suspition
lets slip into a Taverne, for an houre, tis very cold.
Vb.
Content, there is one hard by, a quart of burnt sack
will recover us, I am as cold as Christmas, this stealing
flesh in the frosty weather, may be sure 'ith eating, but sure
the woodmen have no great catch on't; shalls go?
Rich.
Thou art the strangest lover of a taverne, what
shall we doe there now? loose the hower and our selves
too?
Vb.
Loose a pudding; what do'st thou talke of the
bowre; will one quart muzle us? have wee not eares to
beare, and tongues to aske the drawers, but wee must
stand here like bawds to watch the minuts?
Sil.
Prethee content thy selfe, we shall scout here, as
though we went a haying, and have some mangey prentice,
that cannot sleepe for scratching, over eare us, come
will you goe sirs? when your love fury is a little frozen,
youle come to us.
Ric.
VVill you drinke but one quart then?
Ped.
No more I faith.
Sil.
Content.
Ric.
VVhy then, have with you, but letts be very watchfull
Vb.
As watchfull as the belman, come Ile lead, because I
hate good manners, they are too tedious.
Enter Viola with a Key and a little Casket.
The night is terrible and I enclos'd
With that my vertue and my self hate most;
Darkenesse; yet must I feare that which I wish,
Some company, and every step I take
Sounds louder in my fearefull eares to night
Then ever did, the shrill and sacred bell
That rang me to my prayers; the house will rise
When I unlock the doore, were it by day
I am bold enough, but then a thousand eyes
Warne me from going, might not God have made
A time for envious prying folke to sleepe
Whilst lovers met, and yet the sunne have shone?
Yet I was bold enough, to steale this key
Out of my fathers Chamber, and dare yet
Venture upon mine enemy, this night,
Arm'd onely with my love, to meet my friend.
Alas how valiant, and how fraid at once
Love makes a Virgin? I will throw this key
Back through a windowe, I had wealth enough
In Iewels with me, if I hold his love
I steale e'm for; farewell my place of birth,
I never make account to looke on thee againe;
And if there be as I have heard men say,
These houshold gods, I doe beseech them looke
To this my charge, blesse it from theeves and fire,
And keepe till happily my love I win
Me from thy doore, and hold my Father in.
Exit.
Enter Richardo, Pedro, Vberto, Silvio, and Drawer with a Candle.
Ric.
No more for God sake, how is the night boy?
Draw.
Faith sir tis very late.
Vb.
Faith sir you lye, is this your jack i'th clock-house?
will you strike sir? gi's some more sack, you varlet.
Ric.
Nay, if you love me, good Vberto goe,
I am monstrous hot with wine.
Vb.
Quench it againe with love, Gent. I will drinke one
health more, and then if my leggs say mee not shamefully
nay, I will goe with you, give me a singular quart.
Draw.
Of what wine sir?
Vber.
Of Sack, you that speake confusion at the bar, of
sack I say, and every one his quart, what a devill letts be merry.
Draw.
You shall sir.
Exit.
Pet.
We will sir, and a dryed tongue.
Sil.
And an Olive, boy, and a whole bunch of fidlers, my
head swimmes plaguely, vds pretious I shall be claud.
Enter Drawer with foure quarts of wine.
Ric.
Pray goe, I can drinke no more, thinke on your
promise, tis midnight Gentlemen.
Vb.
O that it were dum midnight now, not a word
more, every man on's knees, and betake himselfe to his
faint, heer's to your wench, seigneour, all this, & then away.
Rich.
I cannot drinke it.
Ped.
Tis a toy, a toye, away wo't.
Vber.
Now dare I speake any thing, to any body living,
come whers the fault? off with it.
Ric.
I have broke my wind, call you this sack?—
I wonder who made it? he was a sure workeman, for tis
plaguy strong worke, is it gone round?
Vb.
Tis at the last out of my way, good boy, is the moon up yet?
Draw.
Yes sir.
Vb.
Where is she boy?
Draw.
These sir.
Vb.
We shall have raine and thunder, boy.
Draw.
When sir?
Vb.
I cannot tell, but sure we shall, boy.
Draw.
The Gent. is wine wise.
Vber.
Drawer?
Draw.
Here sir.
Vb.
Can you procure?
Draw.
What sir?
Vber.
A whore or two or three as need shall serve, boy?
Sil.
I, a good whore were worth money, boy.
Draw.
I protest sir we are all together unprovided.
Ric.
The mor's the pitty, boy, can you not vize us where my child?
Draw.
Neither, in troth sir.
Ped.
Why where were you brought up boy? no jugling
of a whore? no ayme my boy?
Vber.
It cannot sink in my head now, that thou shouldst
marry, why shouldst thou marry, tell me?
Rich.
I marry? Ile be hang'd first: some more wine boy.
Sil.
Is she not a whore translated? & she be, lets repaire to
her.
Ric.
I cannot tell, she may be an offender; but signior
Silvio I shall scratch your head, indeed I shall.
Judge me I do most jest with thee, what an she were
inverted with her heeles upward, like a traitors Coate?
Vb.
I, hang her, shall we fall out for her?
Rich.
I am a little angry, but these wenches, did you
not talke of wenches?
Sil.
Boy lend me your candle.
Draw.
VVhy Sir?
Sil.
To set fire to your rotten feeling, you'le keep no
Whores, Rogue, no good members;
Draw.
VVhores Sir?
Silu.
I, whores, Sir, do you think we come to lye with your hogsheads?
Rich.
I must beate the watch, I have long'd for't any
time this three weekes.
Silu.
VVee'le beate the towne too, and thou wilt, we
are proofe boy; shall wee kill any body?
Rich.
No but wee'le hurt 'em dangerously.
Uber., Silu.
Now must I kill one, I cannot avoide it, boy
easily afore there with your candle; wher's your Mistris?
Draw.
A bed, Sir.
Sil.
VVith whom?
Draw.
VVith my Master.
Uber.
You lye Boy, shee's better brought up then to lye
with her husband, has he not cast his head yet? next yeare
he will be a velvet-headed Cuckold.
Draw.
You are a merry Gentleman, there Sir, take hold
Exeunt.
Enter Viola.
Uiola.
This is the place I have out told the Clock,
For hast, he is not here. Richardo? no;
Now every power that loves and is belov'd:
Keep me from shame to night, for all you know
Each thought of mine is innocent, and pure,
As flesh and blood can hold: I cannot back;
I threw the key within, and ere I raise
My Father up, to see his daughters shame,
I'le set me downe, and tell the Northern winde,
That it is gentler then the curling West;
If it will blow me dead, but he will come;
I faith 'tis cold; if hee deceive mee thus,
A woman will not easily trust a man. Hark what's that?
Sil.
within.
Th'art over long at thy pott, tom, tom, thou
art over long at the pott tom.
Uiol.
Blesse me! whose that?
Pedro
within.
Whoo!
Uber.
within
There Boyes.
Uiol.
Darkenesse be thou my cover, I must fly,
To thee I hast for help—
Enter Richardo, Pedro, Uberto, Drawer with a torch.
Uiol.
They have a light,
Winde if thou lov'st a virgine blow it out,
And I will never shut a window more,
To keep thee from me.
Rich.
Boy?
Draw.
Sir?
Rich.
Why Boy?
Draw.
What say you Sir?
Rich.
Why boy? art thou drunk boy?
Draw.
What would you Sir?
Rich.
Why very good, where are wee?
Uber.
I, that's the point.
Draw.
Why Sir, you will be at your lodging presently.
Rich:
I'le go to no lodging Boy.
Draw.
VVhether will you go then Sir?
Rich.
I'le go no farther.
Draw.
For Gods sake Sir, do not stay here all night.
Rich.
No more I will not boy, lay me downe, and
rowle me to a whore.
Uber.
And mee.
Ped.
There spoke an—
Silvio.
Then set your foote to my foote, & up tailes all.
Uiola.
That is Richardo, what a noyse they make?
'Tis ill don on 'em: heere Sirs, Richardo?
Rich.
What's that Boy?
Dra.
'Tis a wench Sir, pray Gent. come away.
Uiol.
O my deare love! how doest thou?
Rich.
My sweet hart? even as thou seest.
Ped.
Wher's thy wench?
Uber.
VVher's this bed worme?
Uiol.
Speake softly for the love of heaven.
Draw.
Mistris get you gone, and doe not entice the
gent. now you see thei're drunke, or Ile call the watch,
and lay you fast enough.
Vio.
Alas what are you? or what doe you meane?
Sweet love wher's the place?
Ric.
Marry sweet love, ee'n here, lye downe Ile feese you.
Vio.
Good god! what meane you?
Ped.
Ile have the wench.
Vber.
If you can get her.
Sil.
No Ile lye with the wench to night, and she shall be
yours to morrow.
Ped.
Let goe the wench.
Sil.
Let you goe the wench.
Uiol.
O Gent. as you had mothers!
Vber.
They had no mothers, they are the sons of bitches
Ric.
Let that be maintain'd.
Sil.
Marry then.
Viol.
Oh blesse me heaven!
Vber.
How many is there ons?
Ric.
About five.
Vber.
Why then lets fight three to three.
Draw and fall downe.
Sil.
Content.
Draw.
The watch? the watch? the watch? where are you?
Ric.
Where are these cowards?
Exit.
Ped.
Ther's the whore.
Viol.
I never saw a drunken man before,
But these I thinke are so.
Sil.
Oh!
Ped.
I mist you narrowly there.
Viol.
My state is such, I know not how to thinke,
A prayer fit for me, only I could move,
That never maiden more might be in love.
Exit.
Enter Drawer, Constable and Watch.
Watch.
Where are they, boy?
Draw.
Make no such hast sir, they are no runners.
Vb.
I am hurt, but that's all one, I shall light upon some of ye,
Pedro thou art a tall Gent. let me kisse thee.
Watch.
My friend.
Vber.
Your friend? you ly.
Ric.
Stand further off, the watch, you are full of fleas.
Const.
Gent. either be quiet, or we must make you quiet.
Rich.
Nay good Mr. Constable, be not so Rigorous.
Vber.
Mr. Constable lend me thy hand of justice.
Const.
That I will sir.
Vber.
Fy Mr. Constable what golls you have? is justice so blind
she cannot see to wash your hands? I cry you mercy Sir;
Dra.
Now you are up Sir, will you go to bed?
Ped.
I'le truckle heere Boy, give me another pillow.
Draw.
VVill you stand up and let me lay it on then?
Ped.
Yes.
Draw.
There hold him two of yee, now they are up be going Mr. Constable
Rich.
And this way, and that way, tom.
Uber.
And heere away and there away tom.
Silu.
This is the right way the others the wrong.
Ped.
Th'others the wrong.
All.
Thou art over long at the pott tom, tom.
Rich.
Lead valiantly sweet Constable, whoop! ha Boyes!
Const.
This wine hunts in their heads.
Give me the bill, for I'le bee the Sergeant.
Const.
Looke to him Sirs.
Rich.
Keep your Ranks you Rascalls, keep your Ranks.
Exeunt.
| The Coxcombe | |