 | The Woman-Hater |  |
Scæna Secunda.
Enter Lazarillo and his boy.Laz.
Go run, search, pry in every nook and angle of
the Kitchins, Larders, and Pasteries, know what meat's
boil'd, bak'd, rost, stew'd, fri'd, or sous'd, at this dinner
to be serv'd directly, or indirectly to every several Table
in the Court, be gone.
Boy.
I run, but not so fast as your mouth will do upon
the stroke of Eleven.
Laz.
What an excellent thing did God bestow upon man,
when he gave him a good stomach? what unbounded graces
there are pour'd upon them that have the continual command
of the very best of these blessings? 'tis an excellent
thing to be a Prince; he is serv'd with such admirable variety
of Fare; such innumerable choice of Delicates; his
Tables are full fraught with most nourishing food, and
his Cubbards heavy laden with rich Wines; his Court is
still filled with most pleasant variety: In the Summer, his
Palace is full of Green Geese; and in Winter it swarmeth
with Woodcocks,
Fill me this day with some rare delicates
And I will every year most constantly,
As this day celebrate a sumptuous Feast,
If thou wilt send me victuals in thine honor?
And to it shall be bidden for thy sake,
Even all the valiant stomachs in the Court:
All short-cloak'd Knights, and all cross-garter'd Gentlemen,
All pump and pantosle, foot-cloth riders;
With all the swarming generation
Of long stocks, short pain'd hose, and huge stuff'd doublets:
All these shall eat, and which is more than yet
Hath e'er been seen, they shall be satisfied
I wonder my Ambassador returns not?
Enter Boy.
Boy.
Here I am Master.
Laza.
And welcome:
Never did that sweet Virgin in her smock,
Fair-cheek'd Andromeda, when to the rock
Her Ivorie limbs were chain'd, and straight before
A huge Sea-monster, tumbling to the shore,
To have devour'd her, with more longing sight
Expect the coming of some hardy Knight,
That might have quell'd his pride, and set her free,
Than I with longing sight have look'd for thee.
Boy.
Your Perseus is come Master, that will destroy him,
The very comfort of whose presence shuts
The monster hunger from your yelping guts
Laza.
Brief boy, brief, discourse the service of each several
Table compendiously.
Boy.
Here's a Bill of all Sir.
Laza.
Give it me, a Bill of all the several services this
day appointed for every Table in the Court,
Within this paper all my joyes are clos'd:
Boy, open it, and read it with reverence.
Boy.
For the Captain of the Guards Table, three chines
of Beef, and two joals of Sturgeon.
Laza.
A portly service, but gross, gross, proceed to the
Dukes own Table, dear boy, to the Dukes own Table,
Boy.
For the Dukes own Table, the head of an Umbrana.
Laza.
Is't possible? can Heaven be so propitious to the Duke?
Boy.
Yes, I'll assure you Sir, 'tis possible, Heaven is so
propitious to him.
Laza.
Why then he is the richest Prince alive:
He were the wealthiest Monarch in all Europe,
Had he no other Territories, Dominions, Provinces, Seats,
Not Palaces, but only that Umbrana's head.
Boy.
'Tis very fresh and sweet, Sir, the fish was taken
but this night, and the head, as a rare novelty, appointed
by special commandement for the Dukes own Table, this
dinner.
Laza.
If poor unworthy I may come to eat
Of this most sacred dish, I here do vow
(If that blind Huswife, Fortune will bestow
But means on me) to keep a sumptuous house,
A board groaning under the heavy burden of the beasts
that cheweth the cudd, and the Fowl that cutteth the
Air: I shall not like the Table of a countrey Justice, besprinkled
over with all manner of cheap Sallads, sliced
Beef, Giblets, and Petitoes, to fill up room, nor should there
stand any great, cumbersom, un-cut-up pies, at the nether
end fill'd with moss and stones, partly to make a shew with
and partly to keep the lower Mess from eating, nor shall
my meat come in sneaking, like the City service, one dish
a quarter of an hour after another, and gone, as if they had
appointed to meet there, and had mistook the hour, nor
should it, like the new Court service, come in in haste, as
if it fain would be gone again, all courses at once, like a
hunting breakfast, but I would have my several courses,
and my dishes well fill'd, my first course should be brought
in after the antient manner, by a score of old bleer-ey'd
Serving-men, in long blew coats, (marry they shall buy
Silk, Facing, and Buttons themselves) but that's by the way.
Master the time calls on, will you be walking?
Laza.
Follow boy, follow, my guts were half an hour
since in the privy Kitchin.
Exeunt.
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