 | The Vnnatvrall Combat |  |
Actus tertii
Scæna prima.
Enter Beaufort senior, Servant.Beaufort senior.
Have you beene carefull?
Serv.
With my best endevours,
Let them bring stomacks, theres no want of meat Sir:
Portly and curious viands are prepar'd,
To please all kindes of appetites.
Beauf. sen.
Tis well.
I love a table furnisht with full plentie,
And store of friends to eat it, but with this caution,
I would not have my house a common Inne,
For some men that come rather to devoure me,
Than to present their service. At this time too
It being a serious and solemne meeting,
I must not haue my boord pester'd with shadowes,
That under other mens protection breake in
Without invitement.
Serv.
With your favour then,
You must double your gard, my Lord, for on my knowledge
There are some so sharp set, not to be kept out
By a file of Musketiers. And 'tis lesse danger,
I'll undertake, to stand at push of pike
With an enemie in a breach, that undermin'd too,
And the Cannon playing on it, than to stop
One Harpie, your perpetuall ghest, from entrance,
When the dresser, the Cookes drum, thunders come on,
The service will be lost else.
Beauf. sen.
What is hee?
Serv.
As tall a trencher-man, that is most certaine,
As ere demolisht Pie-fortification
As soone as batter'd; and if the rim of his belly
Than his Buffe jerkin, there were no defence
Against the charge of his guts: you needs must know him,
He's eminent for his eating.
Beauf. sen.
O Belgarde!
Serv.
The same, one of the Admirals cast Captaines,
Who sweare, there being no war, nor hope of any,
The onely drilling is to eat devoutly,
And to be ever drinking, (that's allow'd of)
But they know not where to get it, there's the spite on't.
Beauf. sen.
The more their miserie, yet if you can
For this day put him off.
Serv.
It is beyond th'invention of man.
Beauf. sen.
No: say this onely,
Whispers to him.
And as from me; you apprehend me?
Serv.
Yes Sir.
Beauf. sen.
But it must be done gravely.
Serv.
Never doubt me Sir.
Beauf. sen.
Wee'll dine in the great roome, but let the musick
And banquet be prepar'd here.
Exit Beauf. sen.
Serv.
This will make him
Lose his dinner at the least, and that will vex him.
As for the sweet meats, when they are trod under foot,
Let him take his share with the Pages and Lacqueyes,
Or scramble in the rushes.
Enter Belgarde.
Belg.
Tis neere twelve,
I keepe a watch within me never misses.
Save thee Master Steward.
Serv.
You are most welcome, Sir.
Belg.
Has thy Lord slept well to night? I come to enquire.
I had a foolish dreame, that against my will
Carried me from my lodging, to learne onely
How he's dispos'd.
Serv.
He's in most perfect health, Sir.
Belg.
Let me but see him feed heartily at dinner,
And I'll beleeve so too, for from that ever
Serv.
It holds surely
In your owne constitution.
Belg.
And in all mens
Tis the best symptome, let us loose no time,
Delay is dangerous.
Serv.
Troth Sir if I might
Without offence deliver what my Lord has
Committed to my trust, I shall receive it
As a speciall favour.
Belg.
Weell see't, and discourse
As the proverbe sayes for health sake after dinner,
Or rather after supper, willingly then
I'll walke a mile to here thee.
Serv.
Nay good Sir
I will be briefe and pithee.
Belg.
Prethee be so.
Serv.
Hee bid me say of all his ghests, that he
Stands most affected to you, for the freedome,
And plainnesse of your maners. He ne're observ'd you
To twirle a dish about, you did not like of
All being pleasing to you; or to take
A say of venison, or stale fowle by your nose,
(Which is a solecisme at anothers table)
But by strong eating of 'em did confirme
They never were delitious to your palat,
But when they were mortifi'd, as the Hugonot sayes,
And so your part growes greater, nor doe you
Find fault with the sawce, keen hunger being the best,
Which ever to your much praise, you bring with you;
Nor will you with impertinent relations
Which is a master-peece, when meates before you
Forget your teeth to use your nimble tongue
But doe the feate you come for.
Belg.
Be advis'd
And end your jeering; for if you proceede
You'll feele, as I can eate I can be angrie,
Serv.
I'll take your counsell,
And roundly come to the point, my Lord much wonders
That you, that are a courtier as a souldier,
In all things else, and every day can vary
Your actions and discourse, continue constant
To this one suite?
Belg.
To one? tis well I have one,
Unpawnd, in these dayes, every cast commander is not blest with
the fortune, I assure you, but why this question? does this offend
him?
Serv.
Not much: but he believes it is the reason,
You nere presume to fit above the salt,
And therefore this day (our great Admirall
With other states being invited ghests)
He does intreate you to appeare among 'em,
In some fresh habit.
Belg.
This staffe shall not serve
To beat the dogge off, these are souldiers garments,
And so by consequence grow contemptible.
Serv.
It has stung him.
Belg.
I would I were aquainted with the players,
In charity they might furnish me, but there is
No faith in Brokers, and for believing Taylors
They are only to be read of, but not seene,
And sure they are confinde to their owne hells,
And there they live invisible, well I must not
Be fubd off thus, pray you report my service
To the Lord governour. I will obey him
And though my wardrop's poore, rather then loose
His company at this feast, I will put on
The richest suite I have, and fill the chaire,
That makes me worthy of—
Exit Belgarde.
Serv.
We are shut of him, he will be seene no more here, how my fellowes
Will blesse me for his absence, he had starv'd em
Had he stayd a little longer, would he cood,
For his owne sake shift a shirt, and thats the utmost
Exit:
Enter Beaufort Sen. and Beaufart jun.
Beauf. sen.
Tis a strange fondnesse.
Beauf. jun.
Tis beyond example,
His resolution to part with his estate,
To make her dower the waightier is nothing,
But to observe how curious he is
In his owne person to adde ornament
To his daughters ravishing features, is the wonder.
I sent a page of mine in the way of courtship,
This morning to her to present my service,
From whom I understand all: there he found him
Sollicitous in what shape she should appeare,
This gowne was rich, but the fashion stale, the other
Was quaint, and neate, but the stuffe no: rich enough,
Then does he curse the Taylor, and in rage
Falls on her Shoomaker, for wanting art
To expresse in every circumstance, the forme
Of her most delicate foote, then sits in counsell
With much deliberation to finde out
What tire would best adorne her; and one chosen
Varying in his opinion, he teares off,
And stamps it under foot, then tries a second
A third and fourth, and satisfied at length
With much a doe in that, he growes agen,
Perplexd and troubl'd where to place her Jewells
To be most mark'd, and whether she should weare
This diamond on her forehead, or betweene
Her milke-white paps, disputing on it both wayes,
Then taking in this hand, a rope of pearle,
(The best of France) he seriously considers
Whither she should dispose it on her arme
Or on her necke, with 20 other trifles, too tedious to deliver.
Beauf. sen.
I have knowne him from his first youth, but never yet observ'd
In all the passages of his life, and fortunes,
Vertues so mix'd with vices, valiant the world speakes him,
But with that bloody; liberall in his gifts too,
A fierce extortioner, an impotent lover
Of women for a flash, but his fires quench'd,
Hating as deadly, the truth is I am not
Ambitious of this match: nor will I crosse you in your affections.
Beauf. jun.
I have ever found you,
(And tis my happinesse) a loving father,
Loud musicke.
And carefull of my good:—by the loud musicke,
As you gave order for his entertainment,
He's come into the house two long houres since,
The Colonels, commissioners and captaines,
To pay him all the rites his worth can challenge,
Went to wayt on him hither.
Enter Malefort, Montaigne, Chamont, Lanour, Montrevile, Theocrine, Usher, Page, Women.
Beauf. sen.
You are most welcome,
And what I speake to you, does from My heart
disperse it selfe to all.
Mal.
You meet my Lord your trouble.
Beauf sen.
Rather Sir increase of honour,
When you are pleas'd to grace my house.
Beauf. jun.
The Favour is doubl'd on my part, most worthy Sir,
Since your faire daughter, my incomparable Mistresse,
Daines us her presence.
Mal.
View her well brave Beaufort,
But yet at distance, you hereafter may
Make your approaches neerer, when the priest
Hath made it lawfull, and were not shee mine,
I durst alowd proclaime it. Hymen never
Put on his saffron coloured robe to change
A barren virgin name with more good omens,
Then at her nuptialls, looke on her againe,
Then tell me if she now appeare the same
That she was yesterday.
Beauf. sen.
Being her selfe
She cannot but be excellent, these rich
And curious dressings, which in others might
Nor can adde to her.
Mal.
You conceive her right,
And in your admiration of her sweetnesse,
You only can deserve her; blush not girle,
Thou art above his praise, or mine, nor can
Obsequious flattery though she should use
Her thousand oyld tongues to advance thy worth,
Give ought (for thats impossible) but take from
Thy more then humane graces, and even then
When shee hath spent her selfe with her best strength,
The wrong she has done thee shall be so apparent,
That loosing her owne servile shape and name,
She will be thought detraction, but I
Forget my selfe, and something whispers to me,
I have said too much.
Mont.
I know not what to thinke on't,
But there's some mystery in it, which I feare
Will be too soone discover'd.
Mal.
I much wrong
Your patience noble Sir, by too much hugging
My proper issue, and like the foolish crow
Believe my blacke brood swans.
Beauf. sen.
There needes not Sir
The least excuse for this, nay I must have
Your arme, you being the master of the feast,
And this the mistris.
Theo.
I am any thing
That you shall please to make mee.
Beauf. jun.
Nay tis yours
Without more complement.
Loud musicke.
Exeunt Beaufort senior, Malefort, Theocrine, Beaufort jun Montaigne, Chamont Lanour, Montrevile.
Mont.
Your will's a law sir.
Ush.
Would I had beene borne a Lord.
1. Wom.
Or I a Lady.
Page.
It may be you were both begot in court,
As I have heard lov'd the lobbie, and there nightly
Are seen strange apparitions, and who knowes
But that some noble fawne, heated with wine,
And cloyde with partridge, had a kinde of longing
To trade in sprats? this needs no exposition,
But can you yeeld a reason for your wishes?
Ush.
Why had I beene borne a Lord, I had beene no servant.
1. Wom.
And where as now necessity makes us wayters,
We had been attended on.
2. Wom.
And might have slept then,
As long as we pleas'd, and fed when we had stomackes,
And worne new cloths, nor liv'd as now in hope
Of a cast gowne, or petticote.
Page.
You are fooles,
And ignorant of your happinesse, ere I was
Sworne to the pantofle, I have heard my tutor
Prove it by logicke, that a servants life
Was better then his masters, and by that
I learne from him, if that my memory faile not,
I'll make it good.
Vsh.
Proceed my little wit
In decimo sexto.
Page.
Thus then from the king
To the beggar, by gradation all are servants,
And you must grant the slavery is lesse
To studie to please one, then many.
Ush.
True.
Page.
Well then, and first to you Sir, you complaine
You serve one Lord, but your Lord serves a thousand,
Besides his passions (that are his worst masters)
You must humor him, and he is bound to sooth
Every grimme Sir above him, if he frowne,
For the least neglect you feare to loose your place,
But if, and with all slavish observation,
From the mignions selfe, to the groome of his close stoole,
He hourly seekes not favour, he is sure
Nay more, that high disposer of all such
That are subordinate to him, serves, and feares
The fury of the many-headed monster,
The giddy multitude. And as a horse
Is still a horse, for all his golden trappings,
So your men of purchas'd titles, at their best are
But serving-men in rich liveries.
Ush.
Most rare infant,
Where learnd'st thou this morality?
Page.
Why thou dull pate,
As I tould thee, of my tutor.
2. Wom.
Now for us boy.
Page.
I am cut of the governour.
Enter Beaufort sen. Beaufort junior, Servants setting forth a banquet.
Beauf. sen.
Quicke, quicke sirs,
See all things perfit.
Serv.
Let the blame be ours else.
Beauf. sen.
And as I said when we are at the banquet,
And high in our cups, for tis no feast without it,
Especially among souldiers: Theocrine
Being retir'd, as that's no place for her,
Take you occasion to rise from the table,
And lose no opportunity.
Beauf. jun.
Tis my purpose,
And if I can winne her to give her heart,
I have a holy man in readinesse
To joyne our hands, for the Admirall her father repents him of his grant to me, and
So far transported with a strange opinion
of her faire features, that should we desire it,
I thinke ere long he will beleeve, and strongly,
The Daulphine is not worthy of her, I
Am much amazd with't.
Exeunt Beaufort sen. Beaufort junior.
Beauf. sen.
Nay dispatch there fellowes.
Serv.
We are ready when you please, sweet formes your pardon,
It has beene such a busy time I could not
Which you deserve, but now the great worke ended,
I will attend the lesse, and with all care
Observe, and serve you.
Page.
This is a pend speech,
And serves as a perpetuall preface to
A dinner made of fragments.
Vsh.
Wee wayt on you.
Loud Musicke.
Scæna tertia.
Beaufort senior, Malefort, Montaigne, Chamont, Lanour, Beaufort, junior, Montrevile, Servants.Beavfort Senior.
You are not merry Sir.
Mal.
Yes my good Lord,
You have given us ample meanes to drowne all cares,
And yet I nourish strange thoughts, which I would
Aside.
Most willingly destroy
Beauf. sen.
Pray you take your place,
Beauf. jun.
And drink a health, and let it be if you please
To the worthiest of Women, now observe him.
Mal.
Give mee the bowle, since you doe me the honour,
I will beginne it.
Cham.
May wee know her name Sir?
Mal.
You shall, I will not choose a forraigne Queenes,
Nor yet our owne, for that would relish of
Tame flattery; nor doe their height of title,
Or absolute power confirme their worth and goodnesse,
These being heavens gifts and frequently confer'd
On such as are beneath em; nor will I
Name the kings Mistresse howsoever shee
In his esteeme may carry it, but if I,
As wine gives liberty, may use my freedome;
(And I will make it good on any equall)
If it must be to her, whose outward forme
Is better'd by the beauty of her minde,
She lives not that with justice can pretend
An interest to this so sacred health,
But my faire daughter. He that only doubts it,
I doe pronounce a villain, this to her then.
Drinkes.
Mont.
What may we thinke of this?
Loud musicke.
Beauf. sen.
It matters not.
Lan.
For my part I will sooth him rather then
Draw on a quarrell, Chamont.
Mont.
Tis the safest course, and one I mean to follow.
Beauf. jun.
It has gone round Sir.
Exit Beaufort junior.
Mal.
Now you have done her right, if there be any
Worthy to second this, propose it bouldly,
I am your pledge.
Beauf. sen.
Lets pause here if you please,
And entertaine the time with something else,
Musicke there in some lofty straine, the song too
That I gave order for; the new one cald
The souldiers delight?
The song ended: enter Belgarde in armor a case of Carbines by his side.
Belg.
Who stops mee now?
Or who dares only say that I appeare not
In the most rich and glorious habit that
Renders a man compleate? what court so set off
With state and ceremonious pompe, but thus
Accoutred I may enter? or what feast
Though all the elements at once were ransack'd,
To store it with varietie transcending
The curiousnesse, and cost, on Traians birth day,
(Where princes only, and confederat kings
Did sit as ghests, serv'd, and attended on
By the senators of Rome, sat with a souldier
In this his naturall, and proper shape
Might not and bouldly fill a seat, and by
More honour'd and remarkeable?
Beauf. sen.
Tis acknowledg'd,
And this a grace done to me unexpected.
Mont.
But why in armor?
Mal.
What's the mysterie?
Pray you reveale that.
Belg.
Souldiers out of action,
That very rare, but like unbidden ghests
Bring their stooles with em, for their owne defence,
At court should feed in gauntlets, they may have
Their fingers cut else; there your carpet knights,
That never charg'd beyond a mistresse lips,
Are still most keene, and valiant, but to you
Whom it does most concern, my Lord, I will
Addresse my speech, and with a souldiers freedome
In my reproofe returne the bitter scoffe,
You threw upon my poverty, you contemn'd
My courser outside, and from that concluded,
(As by your groome you made me understand)
I was unworthy to sit at your table,
Among these tissues, and imbroideries,
Unlesse I chang'd my habit, I have done it,
And show my selfe in that which I have worne
In the heare and fervor of a bloudy fight,
And then it was in fashion, not as now
Ridiculous, and despis'd, this hath past through
A wood of pikes, and every one aim'd at it,
Yet scornd to take impression from their fury
With this, as still you see it fresh and new
I have charg'd through fire that would have fing'd your sables
Blacke fox, and ermins, and chang'd the proud colour
Of Skarlet though of the right Tirian die;
But now as if the trappings made the man, such only are
Admir'd that come adorn'd
With what's no part of them, this is mine owne
My richest suit, a suite I must not part from,
Tis we that bring you in the meanes of feasts,
Banquets, and revels, which when you possesse,
With barbarous ingratitude you deny us
To be made sharers in the harvest, which
Our sweat and industrie reap'd, and sow'd for you.
The silks you weare, we with our bloud spin for you;
This massie plate, that with the ponderous waight
Does make your cupboods crack, we (unaffrighted
With tempests, or the long and tedious way,
Or dreadfull monsters of the deepe, that wait
With open jawes still ready to devoure us)
Fetch from the other world. Let it not then
In after ages to your shame be spoken,
That you with no relenting eyes looke on
Our wants that feed your plentie; or consume
In prodigall, and wanton gifts on Drones
The Kingdomes treasure, yet detaine from us
The debt that with the hazard of our lives,
We have made you stand ingag'd for: or force us
Against all civill government in armour
To require that, which with all willingnesse
Should be tender'd, ere demanded.
Beauf. sen.
I commend
This wholsome sharpnesse in you, and prefer it
Before obsequious tamenesse, it shewes lovely:
Nor shall the raine of your good counsell fall
Upon the barren sands, but spring up fruit
Such as you long have wisht for. And the rest
Of your profession like you discontented
For want of meanes, shall in their present payment
Be bound to praise your boldnesse: and hereafter
I will take order you shall have no cause,
For want of change to put your armour on
But in the face of an enemie; not as now
Among your friends. To that which is due to you,
I'll adde five hundred crownes.
Cham.
I to my power
Will follow the example.
Mont.
Take this Captaine,
Tis all my present store, but when you please,
Command me further.
Lan.
I could wish it more.
Belg.
This is the luckiest jest ever came from me.
Let a Souldier use no other Scribe to draw
The forme of his petition. This will speed
When your thrice humble supplications,
With prayers for encrease of health and honours
To their grave Lordships shall as soone as read
Be pocketted up, the cause no more remembred.
When this dumb Rhetorique.—Well, I have a life,
Which I in thankfulnesse for your great favours,
My noble Lords, when you please to command it,
Must never thinke mine owne. Broker, be happie,
These golden birds flie to thee.
Exit Belgarde.
Beauf. sen.
You are dull, Sir,
And seeme not to be taken with the passage
You saw presented.
Mal.
Passage? I observ'd none,
My thoughts were elsewhere busied. Ha! she is
In danger to be lost, to be lost for ever,
If speedily I come not to her rescue,
For so my Genius tels me.
Montr.
What Chimera's
Worke on your phantasie?
Mal.
Phantasies? They are truths.
Where is my Theocrine? You have plotted
To rob me of my Daughter: bring me to her,
Or I'll call downe the Saints to witnesse for me:
You are inhospitable.
Beauf. sen.
You amaze me,
Your Daughter's safe, and now exchanging courtship
With such distracted lookes? since to that end
You brought her hither?
Mal.
Tis confess'd I did,
But now pray you pardon me, and if you please
Ere she deliver up her virgin fort,
I would observe what is the art he uses
In planting his artillery against it,
She is my only care, nor must she yield
But upon noble termes.
Beauf. sen.
Tis so determind.
Ma.
Yet I am jealous.
Mont.
Overmuch I feare.
What passions are these?
Beauf. sen.
Come I will bring you
Where you, with these if they so please, may see
The love-scæne acted.
Montre.
There is something more
Then fatherly love in this.
Monta.
We wayt upon you.
Exeunt omnes.
Scæna Vltima.
Beaufort jun. Theocrine.Beauf. jun.
Since then you meet my flames with equall order
As you professe, it is your bounty mistresse,
Nor must I call it debt, yet tis your glory,
That your excesse supplies my want, and makes mee
Strong in my weakenesse, which could never bee,
But in your good opinion.
Theo.
You teach me Sir,
What I should say, since from your sun of favour,
I like dimme Phœbe, in her selfe obscure,
Borrow that light I have.
Beauf. jun.
Which you returne
With large increase (since that you will orecome,
And I dare not contend) were you but pleas'd
Theo.
I have
Already in my wishes, modesty
Forbids me to speake more.
Beauf. jun.
but what assurance,
(But still without offence) may I demand
That may secure me that your heart and tongue
Joyne to make up this harmonie?
Theo.
Choose any
Suiting your love distinguished from lust,
To aske and mine to grant.
Enter (as unseene) Beaufort senior, Malefort, Montrevile, and the rest.
Beauf. sen.
Yonder they are.
Mal.
At distance too, tis yet well.
Beauf. jun.
I may take then
This hand, and with a thousand burning kisses,
Sweare tis the anchor to my hopes?
Theo.
You may Sir.
Mal.
This is somewhat too much.
Beauf. iun.
And this done, view my selfe
In these true mirrors.
Theo.
Ever trew to you Sir,
And may they loose th'abilitie of fight,
When they seeke other object.
Mal.
This is more
Then I can give consent to.
Beauf. iun.
And a kisse,
Thus printed on your lips will not distast you?
Mal.
Her lips!
Montre.
Why where should he kisse? are you distracted?
Beauf. iun.
Then when this holy man hath made it lawfull.
brings in a Priest.
Mal.
A priest so ready too I must breake in.
Beauf. iun.
And what's spoke here is registred above,
I must ingrosse those favours to my selfe
Which are not to be nam'd.
Theo.
All I can give,
Beauf. jun.
I'll instruct you.
Mal.
O how my bloud boyles!
Montr.
Pray you containe your selfe,
Me thinkes his courtship's modest.
Beauf. jun.
Then being mine,
And wholly mine, the river of your love
To kinsmen and allies, nay to your father,
(Howere out of his tendernesse he admires you)
Must in the Ocean of your affection
To me be swallow'd up, and want a name
Compar'd with what you owe me.
Theoc.
Tis most fit, Sir,
The stronger bond that bindes me to you, must
Dissolve the weaker.
Mal.
I am ruin'd if
I come not fairely off.
Beauf. sen.
Theres nothing wanting
But your consent.
Mal.
Some strange invention aid me.
Aside.
This! yes, it must be so.
Montr.
Why doe you stagger,
When what you seem'd so much to wish is offerd?
Beauf. jun.
Both parties being agreed to.
Beauf. sen.
I'll not court
A grant from you, nor doe I wrong your Daughter,
Though I say my sonne deserves her.
Mal.
Tis far from
My humble thoughts to undervalue him
I cannot prize too high. For howsoever
From my owne fond indulgence I have sung
Her praises with too prodigall a tongue,
That tendernesse laid by, I stand confirmd
All that I fancied excellent in her
Ballanc'd, with what is really his owne,
Holds waight in no proportion.
Montr.
New turnings!
Whither tends this?
Mal.
Had you observ'd, my Lord,
With what a sweet gradation he wood,
As I did punctually, you cannot blame her,
Though she did listen with a greedie eare
To his faire modest offers: but so great
A good as then flow'd to her, should have beene
With more deliberation entertaind,
And not with such haste swallowd, she shall first
Consider seriously what the blessing is,
And in what ample manner to give thanks for't,
And then receive it. And though I shall thinke
Short minutes yeeres till it be persitied,
I will defer that which I most desire,
And so must she, till longing expectation,
That heightens pleasure, makes her truly know
Her happinesse, and with what out-streatcht armes
She must embrace it.
Beauf jun.
This is curiousnesse
Beyond example.
Mal.
Let it then begin
From me, in whats mine owne I'll use my will,
And yeeld no further reason. I lay claime to
The libertie of a subject. Fall not off,
But be obedient, or by the haire
I'll drag thee home. Censure me as you please,
I'll take my owne way, O the inward fires
That wanting vent consume me!
Exit with Theocrine.
Montr.
Tis most certaine
Hees mad, or worse.
Beauf.
How, worse?
Montr.
Nay, there I leave you,
My thoughts are free.
Beauf. jun.
This I foresaw.
Beauf. sen.
Take comfort,
He shall walke in clouds, but I'll discover him:
And he shall finde, and feele, if he excuse not,
I can make use of my authoritie.
Exeunt omnes.
| The Vnnatvrall Combat | |