 | The Parliament of Love |  |
Act' 4t u s .
Enter Nouall and DinantDin:
yor are welcome first sir, & that spoke receaue
a faithfull promise all that art, or longe
experience hath taught mee shall enlarge
them selues for yor recouery
No:
Sir I thanck you.
as far as a weake sick & an vnable man
has power to expresse, but what wants in my tongue
my hand (for yet my fingers feele noe gowte
shall speake in this dumbe language
Din:
you are to munificent
No:
fie noe sir health is such a pretious Iewell
wee cannot buy it to deere
Din:
take Comfort sir
I find not by yor vrin or yor pulse
or anie outward simptom that you are
in anie certen danger
No:
oh the more my feare
in firmities that «[OMITTED]e kn wne»
40
(as theis of myne are docter) they proue mortall
how e're Ile not forgett you while I liue
doe but yor perts
Din:
sir they are at yor service
Ile giue you some preparatiues to instruct mee
of yor inward temper then as I find cause
some gentle purge
No:
yes I must purge I die ells
(but where deere docter you shall not find out)
this is a happie entrance, maie it end well
Ile mount yor night Cap dodipoll
Din:
in what perte
(wee are sworne to secresie, & you must bee free)
doe you finde yor greatest agonie
No:
Oh I haue
strange motions on the sudden villanous tumers
wc h rise then fall, then rise againe oh docter
not to bee shewne or namd
Din:
then in my Iudgmt
you had best leaue Paris Choose some fresher ayre
that does helpe much in phisique
No:
by noe meanes
heere in yor howse or noe where you must Cure mee
the eye of the mr fatts the horse, & when
[t]his docters by the patient may drinck wine
in a fitt of a burninge feaver, for yor presence
workes more then what you minister, take phisique
attended on by ignorant groomes, meere strangers
to yor directions, I must hazzard life
& you yor reputation, whereas sir
I hold yor howse a Colledge of yor art
& euery [by] boy you keepe by you instructed
a pritty peice of a gallinest then the females
from yor most faire wife to your kitchen drudge
are so famillier wt h yor learned Courses
that to an herbe they know to make thin broath
41
(& such ingredients I shall haue most neede of)
how manie Cocks of the game make a stronge Cullice
or pheasants eggs a Cawdle
Ent' Clarinda
Din
I am glad to heare you argue wt h such strength
No:
a flash sir
but now I feele my fitt againe, shee is
made vpp of all perfection, anie danger
that leads to the enjoyinge so much sweetnes
is pleasure at the height, I am ravisht wt h
the meere imagination, oh happines
Din:
howes this, one from the Duke Nemures
Clarinda:
yes sir
Din:
tis ranck
the sight of my wife hath forcd him to forget
to Counterfeit, I now guesse at yor sicknes
& if I fitt you not
Clarinda
the gentleman staies you
Din:
I Come to him presentlie, in the meane tyme wife
bee carefull of this mounsier, naie noe coynes
you may salute him bouldlie, his pale lips
inchant not in the touch
No:
hers doe I'me sure
Din
kisse him againe
Clarinda:
Sir this is more then modest
Din:
modest, whie foole desire is dead in him
Call it [[illeg.]] a Charitable pious woorke
if it refresh his sperrits
[OMITTED]yes indeede sir I finde greate ease int
[OMITTED]that & would you
[OMITTED][that meates against the] a sick man comfort, meates against
[OMITTED]must bee graunted to
«[OMITTED]shal[OMITTED]»
42
I saie you shall, this night wt h your owne hands
I haue you aire his bed, & when hee eates
of what you haue prepard you shall sitt by him
& wt h some merry Chat helpe to repaire
decayed appetite, watch by him when hee slumbers
nay play his pages part, more I durst trust you
weare this or weddinge daie, you yet a virgin
to bee his bedfellow, for well I know
old Priams impotence, or Nestors hernias
Herculian activenes, yf but Compard
to his debility putt him to his oath
heel sweare he can doe nothinge
No:
doe oh noe Sir
I am past the thought of't
Din:
but how doe you like
the method I prescribe
No:
beyond expression
vppon the meere report I doe Conceaue
hope of recouery
Clarinda:
are you mad
Din
peace foole
this night you shall take a Cordiall to strengthen
yor feeble limbes, twill Cost ten crownes a draught
No:
noe matter sir
Din:
to [morry] morrow you shall walke
to see my garden, then my wife shall shew you
the choyce roomes of my howse, when you are weary
ease yorself on [his] her couch
No:
oh Devine Docter
what man in health would not bee sick on purpose
to bee yor patient
Din:
Come sir to yor Chamber
& now I vnderstand where yor [y] disease lyes
(nay leade him by the hand) doubt not Ile Cure you
Exit
Enter Cleremond and montross
Cle:
this is the place
43
an euen peice of ground
wt hout advantage but bee iocond freind
the honor to haue enterd first the feild
how euer wee come of is ors
Cle:
[I neede not]
[so well] I am so well acquainted wt h yor vallor
to dare in a good cause as much as man
[I need not] lend you encouragmt & [should I ad] your Courage fortune
[yor power to doe, wc h ffortune, then not blind]
hath euer seconded, I cannot doubt
but victorie still sitts vppon yor sword
& must not now for sake you
Mont:
you shall see mee
Come bouldlie vpp nor will I shame yor Cause
by pertinge wt h an inch of ground not bought
wt h blood on my perte
Cle:
tis not to bee questiond
that wc h I would intreate (& pray you graunt it)
is that you would forget your vsuall softnes
yor foe beinge at yor mercy it hath been
a Custome in you wc h I dare not praise
havinge disarmd your enimy of his sword
to tempt yor fate by yeildinge it againe
then runne a second hazzard
Mont:
when wee encounter
a noble foe wee cannot bee to noble
Cle:
that I confesse, but hee thats now to oppose you
I know for an archvillaine, one that hath lo«st»
all feelinge of humanitie, one that hates[OMITTED]
goodnes in others «cau»se hees ill« hi s[OMITTED]»
44
all attributes of wickednes cannot reach him)
of whome to haue deserved beyond example
or president of freindship is a wronge
wc h onlie death Can satisfie
mont:
you describe
a monster to mee
Clere:
true montrosse hee is so
Affrick tho firtill of strange [pad] prodigies
never producd his equall, bee wise therefore
& if hee fall into yor hands dispatch him
pitty to him is Cruelty, the sad father
that sees his sonne stunge by a snake to death
may wt h more iustice staie his vengfull hand
& lett the worme escape then you voutsafe him
a minute to repent for tis a slaue
so sould to hell & mischeif, that a traytor
to his most lawfull prince, a Church robber
a parracid whoe when his garners are
Cramd wt h the purest graine suffers his parents
beinge old & weake to starue for want of bread
compard to him are inocent
Mont:
I nere heard
of such a Cursed nature, if longe lyvd
hee would infect mankind, rest you assurd
hee finds from mee small Curtesie
Clere:
& expect
as little from him blood is that hee thirsts for
not honorable wounds
Mont:
I would I had him
wt hin my swords length
Clere:
haue thie wish, thou hast
they draw
nay draw thie sword & sodenlie, I am
that monster temple robber parracide
ingratefull wretch, freind hater, or what ells
makes vpp the perfect figure of the Divell
should hee appeare like man, banish amazemt
45
from him thats turnd a furie, I am made
her minister, whose Crueltie but nam'd
would wt h more horror strike the pale cheekd hearers
then all those dreadfull words wc h Coniurers vse
to fright their dam'd familliers, looke not on mee
as I am Clerimond, I haue perted wt h
the essence that was his & entertaind
the soule of some feirce tigresse or a woolfes
new hangd for human slaughter, & tis fitt
I Could not ells bee an apt instrumt
to bloody Leonora
Mont
to my knowledge
I never wrongd her
Cle:
yes in beinge a freind
to mee, shee hated my best freind, her mallice
would looke noe lower, & for beinge such
by her Comaund montrosse I am to kill thee
oh that thou hadst like others been all words
& noe performance, or that thou hadst made
so little stopp in thie Careere of kindnes
whie wouldst thou to Confirme the name of freind
despise the favors of faire Bellisant
& all those certaine ioyes that waited for thee
snatchd at this fatall office of a second
wc h others fled from, tis in vaine to mourne now
[OMITTED] when theres noe helpe, & therefore good Montrosse
[OMITTED] rowse thie most manlie perts, & thinck thou standst now
[OMITTED] a champion for more then kinge or Cuntry
[OMITTED] in thie fall goodnes it self must suffer.
[OMITTED]ber to the basenes of the wronge
«[OMITTED]f »indship lett it edge thie sword
46
I will take all advantages, & so
wt hout replie haue at thee—
fight Cleremond vnder montross
Mont:
see how weake
an ill cause is, you are already falne
what can you looke for now
Clere:
foole vse thie fortune
& so hee counsailes thee that if wee had
changd places instantlie would haue cutt thie throate
or diggd thie hart out
Mont:
in requitall of
that savage purpose I much pittie you
witnes theis teares, not teare of ioy for conquest
but of true sorrow for yor misery
liue, oh liue Cleremond & like a man
make vse of reason as an exorcist
to Cast this divell out that does abuse you
this feind of falce affection·
Clere:
will you not kill mee
you are then more tyranous then Leonora
an easie thrust will doe it, you had euer
a charitable hand, doe not denie mee
for or ould freindships sake, noe wilt not bee
there are a thowsand dores to lett out life
you keepe not guard of all & I shall finde
by fallinge headlinge from some rockie Cliff
poyson or fyre that longe rest wc h yor sword
discurteously denies mee
Exit
Mont:
I will follow
& some thinge I must fancy to disswade him
from doinge suddaine violence on him self
thats now my onlie ayme, & that to mee
succeedinge well is a true victorie
Exit
Enter Chamont and Dinant
Din:
yor lady tempted to
Cha:
& tempted home
sumond to parlie, the fort almost yeilded
47
but I haue Countermynd his workes & yf you
[&] second mee will blow the letcher vpp
& laugh to see him Caper
Din:
anie thinge
Comaund mee as yor servant to ioyne wt h you
all waies are honest wee take to revenge vs
on theis lascivious monkies of the Court
that make it theire profession to dishonor
graue Citizeins wiues nay those of higher ranck
as tis in yors apparant, my yonge rambler
that thought to cheate mee wt h a faind disease
I haue in the toyle already, I haue giuen him
vnder pretence to make him high & active
a Cooler I dare warrant, it will yeild
rare sport to see it woorke, I would yor Lop p
Could bee a spectator
Cha:
tis that I ayme at
& might I but perswade you to dispence
a little wt h yor Candor, & Consent
to make make yor howse the stage on wc h weel act
or Comick sceane, in the pride of all theire hopes
weel sheew theis shallow fooles sunck eyd dispaire
& trivmph in theire punishmt
Din:
my howse
or what soeuer ells is myne shall serve
as properties to grace it
Cham:
in this shape then
leaue mee to worke the rest
Din:
doubt not my lord
Ent' Perigott
you shall find all things ready
Cha:
this sorts well
wt h my other purposes, Perigot to my «w[OMITTED]»
aid mee invention[OMITTED] [OMITTED]
48
is the Queane falne of
I heare not from her, tis the hower & place that shee appoynted
whoe haue wee heere this fellow has a pimpes face
& lookes as if hee weare her Call, her fetch, wt h mee
Cha:
sir from the pertie
the ladie you should truck wt h the lords wife
yor wor̄pe is to dubb or to make free
of the Companie of the horners
Peri:
faire Lamira
Cha:
the same śir
Peri:
& how my honest squire of the dames, I see
thou art of her privie Counsell
Cha:
her graunt holds sir
Per:
oh rare, but when
Cha:
marry instantlie
Peri:
but where
Cha:
shee has out gon the Cuninge of a woman
in the orderinge it both privatlie & securely
you know dinant the docter
Peri:
good
Cha:
his howse
& him shee has made at her devotio sir
nay wonder not most of theis empricques
thrive better by Conivence in such cases
then theire lame practize, framinge some distemper
the foole her lord
Peri:
lords may bee what they please
I question not theire pattent
Cha:
hath Consented
that this night privatlie shee shall take a Clister
wc h hee beleeues the docter ministers
& never thincks of you
Per:
a good wench still
Cha:
& there wt hout suspition
Per:
excellent
I make this lord my Cuckold
Cha:
true & write
the reverend drudginge docter my Copertener
& fellow bawd; next yeare wee will haue him warden
of or societie
49
there, there, I shall burst
I am so swolne wt h pleasure noe more talkinge
deere keeper of the vaultinge dore lead on
Cha:
Chardge you as bouldlie
Per:
doe not feare I [ha] haue
a staff to taint & brauelie
Cha:
saue the splinters
if it breake in the incounter
Per:
witty rascall
Exeunt
Enter Clarindore: Bellisant, and Beaupre
Clar:
boast of yor favors madam
Bell:
pardon sir
my feares, since it is growne a generall Custome
in or hott youth to keepe a Cattalogue
of Conquests this waie gott, nor doe they thinck
theire victorie Compleate vnlesse they publish
to theire disgrace that are made Captive to em
how farr they haue prevaild
Cla:
I would haue such rascalls
first gelded & then hangd
Bell:
remember to sir
to what extremities yor loue had brought you
& since I saud yor life, I may wt h Iustice
by silence Chardge you to preserve myne honor
wc h howsoeuer to my Conscious self
I am tainted foulely tainted to the world
I am free from all suspition
C«l[OMITTED]»
Can you thinck·
[OMITTED]le doe myself that wronge, altho I had
[OMITTED]rs mercynarie tongue still mouinge
«[OMITTED] th»is pretious Carkanet theis jewells
«[OMITTED]fi»cence «*»uld keepe mee
50
noe rest secure sweete Lady & excuse
my suddaine & abrupt deperture from you
& if the fault makes forfeit of yor grace
a quick retorne shall ransome & redeeme it
Bell:
bee myndfull of yor oathes
Cla:
I am gott off
& leaue the memorie of them behind mee
now if I Can find out my scoffinge gulls
Novall & Perigot besides my wage
wc h is already sure, I shall retorne
theire bitter jests & wound them wt h my tongue
much deeper then my sword, oh but the oathes
I haue made to the Contrary, & her Creditt
of wc h I should bee tender, tush both hould
wt h mee an equall vallue, the wise say
that the whole fabrique of a womans lighter
then winde or feathers; what is then her fame
a kind of nothinge not to bee preservd
wt h the losse of so much money tis sound doctrine
& I will follow it
Exit
Bell:
prithee bee not doubtfull
lett the wild coult runne his course
Beau:
I must Confesse
I cannot sound the depth of what you purpose
but I much feare
Bell:
that hee will blab I know it
& that a secret scalds him, that hee suffers
till hee hath vented what I seeme to wish
hee should Conceale; but lett him I am armd fort
Exeunt
Enter Chamont Dinant [Lamara], Lamira, Clarinda, & Seruants
Cha:
for Perigot hees in the Toyle nere doubt it
oh had you seene how his veynes sweld wt h lust
when I brought him to the Chamber how hee gloried
& stretched his limbs preparinge them for action
& takinge mee to bee a pander plainely tould mee
twas more delight to haue alord his Cuckold
then to enioy my lady, there I left him
in Contemplation greedilie expectinge
Lamiras presence but in sted of her
I haue prepard him other visitants
you know what you haue to doe
51
feare not my Lord
hee shall Curvet I warrant him in a blancket
2 Ser:
weel disciple him wt h dogg whips, & take off
his rampant edge
Cha:
his life saud that remember
you Cannot bee to Cruell
Din:
for his Pupill
my wifes inamorato, if Could weeds
remoud but one degree from deadlie poyson
haue not forgott theire Certaine opperation
you shall see his Courage Coold & in that temper
till hee haue howld himself into my pardon
I vow to keepe him
wth in Nouall.-
ho docter, mr docter
Din:
the games afoote wee will lett slipp, Conceale
yor selues a little
Enter Nouall-
oh a thowsand agues
play at barlie breake in my bones, my bloods a poole
on the soden frozen & the Isicles
Cutt euery veyne, tis heere, heere, ev'y where
oh deere, deere mr docter
Din:
I must seeme [not]
not to vnderstand him twill increase his torture
how doe you sir, has the potion wrought doe you feele
an alteration, haue yor swellings left you
is yor blood still rebellious [OMITTED]
No:
oh good docter I am a ghost I haue nor fle[OMITTED]
nor heate nor warmth about mee [OMITTED]
Din:
doe not desemble [OMITTED]
I know you a«r high an[OMITTED] I[OMITTED]»
52
Iouiall Docter
noe I am all amort as if I had laine
three daies in my graue alreadie
Din
I will raise you
for looke you sir you are a liberall patient
nor must I while you Can bee such perte wt h you
tis against the Lawes of or Colledge, pray you marke mee
I haue wt h Curiosity Considerd
yor Constitution to bee hot & moyst
& that at yor nativitie Iupiter
& venus weare in Coniunction whence followes
by necessarie Consiquence you must bee
a most insatiat letcher
No:
oh I haue beene
I haue been I Confesse, but now I cannot
thinck of a woman·
Din
for yor health you must sir
both thinck, & see, & touch, you are but a dead man ells
No:
that waie I am already
Din:
you must take & sodenlie tis a conceald receipt
a buxsome Iucy wench
No:
oh twill not downe sir I haue noe swallow fort
Din:
now since I would
haue the disease as privat as the Cure
(for tis a secret), I haue wrought my wife
to bee both phisique & phisitian
to giue you ease will you walke to her
No:
oh docter I cannot stand, in [[illeg.]] euery part aboute mee
I haue the palsie but my tongue
Din:
nay then you are obstinate & refuse my gentle offer
or ells tis foolish modestie Come heither
Come my Clarinda tis noe Comon Curtesie
Comfort the gentleman
No:
this is ten tymes worse
Cha:
hee does torment him rarely
Din
shee is not Coy sir
what thinck you is not this a pritty foote
53
for you to finde & Iudge of, heeres a hand to
try it, the palme is moyst, her youthfull blood
runnes stronge in euery azure veyne, the face to
nere knew the helpe of art & altogeither
may serve the turne after a longe sea voyage
for the Captaine himself
No:
I am a swabber docter
a bloodlesse swabber. haue not strength enough
to Clense her poope
Din:
fie you shame yor self
& the profession of yor ruttinge gallants
that hold theire docters wiues as free for them
as some of us or Apothecaries
No:
good sir noe more
Din
take her aside Cornute mee
I giue you leaue, what should a quack salver
a fellow that does deale wt h druggs as I doe
(that has not meanes to giue her choyce of gownes
Iewells & rich imbrotherd petticoates)
doe wt h so faire a bed fellow, shee beinge fashiond
to purge a rich heires raynes, to bee the mrs
of a Court gallant, did you not tell her so
No:
I haue betrayd myself, I did I did
Din:
& that rich marchants Advocates & docters
how ere deservinge from the Comon wealth
on forfeit of the Citties Charter weare
predestind Cuckolds
[OMITTED]«s»ome tty docter I was an herritique but now Converted
[OMITTED]«l»ittle little respitt
[OMITTED]ne bull
[OMITTED]«e» all goodmens wrongs
54
eate thie flesh of wt h [[illeg.]] burninge Corosiues
or write wt h Aqua fortis in thie forhead
thie base intent to wronge my bed weare Iustice
& to doe lesse weare foolish pitty in mee
I speake it ribald
No:
Perigot Perigot woe to thie Cursed Counsaile
Cha:
Perigot did hee advise you to this Course
No:
hee did, [& he]
Cha:
& hee as his reward fort
wth in Perigott:
will you murther mee.
Seruants:
once more a loft wt h him
Enter Seruants wth Perigot·
Peri:
murther murther murther murther·
Cha:
what conceald bakd meate haue you there, a present·
is it goates flesh it smells ranck
1 Ser:
wee haue had sweete woorke ont my lord
2 Ser:
I warrant you tis tender
it wantes noe Cookinge yet if you thinck fitt
weel bruise it againe
Per:
as you are Christians spare mee
I am Ielly wt hin already, & wt hout
imbrotherd all ore wt h statute lace
what would you more
No:
my tutor in the gynne to
this is some Comfort, hee is as good as drenchd
& now weel both bee Chast
Cha:
what wast a Catt
you haue encounterd mounsier you are scratchd so
my Ladie sure forgott to pare her nayles
before yor soft embraces
Din
hee has tooke greate paines
what a sweate hees in
Cha:
oh hees amr dancer
knowes how to Caper into a ladies favor
one lofty trick more deere mounsier
No:
that I had
but strength to laugh at him, blancketted like a dogg
55
hee cannot Ieere mee
Per:
may not a man haue Leaue to hange himself
Cha:
noe that weare too much mercy
live to bee wretched, live to bee the [take] talke
of the Conduit & the bake howse, I will haue thee
picterd as thou art now, & thie whole story
sunge to some villanous tune in[[illeg.]] a lewd ballet
& make thee so notorious to the world
that boyes in the streetes shall hoote at the, Come [Lamiara] Lamira
& triumph ore him dost thou see this Lady
my wife whose honor foolishlie thou thoughts
to undermyne & make a servant to thie bruitish lust
Laughinge at thie affliction
& as a signe shee scornes thee sett her foote
vppon thie head, doe so, sdeath but resist
once more you Caper
Per:
I am at the stake & must indure it
Cha
spurne him to
La:
troth sir I doe him to much grace·
Cha:
now as a schole boy
does kisse the rod that gaue him Chastizmt
to proue thou art a slaue, meete wt h thie lips
the instrumt that Corrects thee
Per:
haue you done yet
Din
how like a paire of Crest falne Iades they looke now
Clarinda:
they are not worth or scorne
Per:
oh pupill pupill
No:
Tutor I am drenchd lett vs Condole togeith[OMITTED]
Cha:
& wheres the ticklinge itch now my deere m[OMITTED]
to saie this lords my Cuckold, Im tyrd [OMITTED]
Enter Clarindor
that wee had fresh doggs to bait e[OMITTED]
56
I am acquainted wt h the storie
the docters man has tould mee all
«D»in:
vppon em
«e»r:
Clarindore worst of all, for him to know this
is a second blancketinge
No:
I againe am drenched to looke vppon him
Cla:
how ist man beare vpp
you that Comend adultery I am glad
to see it thrive so well, fie Perrigot
deiected, happilie thou wouldst haue vs thinck
this is the first tyme that thou didst Curvet
& Come a loft in a blancket, by St Dennis
heere are shrewd scratches to, but nothinge to
a man of resolution whose shoulders
are of them selues armor of proofe against
a bastinado, & will tyre ten beadles
Peri:
mock on know noe mercy
Cla:
thrifty younge men
what a Chardge is sau'd in [[illeg.]] wenchinge & tis tymely
a Certaine wager of 3 thowsand Crownes
is lost & must bee paid my paire of puppies
the coy dame Bellisant hath stoopd, beare witnes
this Chaine & Iewells you haue seene her weare
the fellow that her groomes kickd downe the staires
has Crepd into her bed & to assure you
theres no deceipt shee shall Confesse so much
I haue inoyd her
Cha:
are you serious
Cla:
yes sir & glorie in it
Cha:
nay then giue ouer foolinge
thou lyest & art a villaine a base villaine
to slander her
Cla:
you are a lord my Lord, & that
bids mee forbeare you, but I will make good
what euer I haue said
Cha:
Ile not loose tyme
to Change words wt h the [th] kinge hath ordaind
57
to wc h I summon thee
Exit
Cla:
yor worst I Care not, farwell Babions
Exit
Din:
heere was a suddaine Change
nay you must quitt my howse shogge on kind patient
& as you like my phisick when you are
rampant againe you know I haue that Can Coole you
nay mounsier Perigot helpe yor pupill of to
your Counsaile brought him on, ha noe replie
are you struck dumbe, yf you are wrongd Complaine
Per:
wee shall find freinds to [w] right vs
Din:
& I Iustice
the Cause beinge heard I aske noe more, hence vanish
Exeun[OMITTED]
finis Actus Quarti
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