University of Virginia Library

Actus Secundus.

Scea. pria.

Enter Antonio, & Gaspero.
Gas.
Good Sir, Whence springs this Sadnes? trust me Sir.
You looke not like a Man was Married yesterdaie:
there could come no ill Tidings since last night
to cause that discontent: J was wont to know all
before you had a Wiffe (Sir) You nere found me
without those parts of Manhood, (Trust, & Secrecie)

An.
J will not tell the this.

Gasp.
not your true Seruant (Sir?)

An.
True? you'll all flowt according to yor Tallent
the best a Man can keepe of you: and a hell 'tis
for Masters to pay Wages, to be laughd at

[An.]
give order that two Cocks be boyld to Jelly.

Gas.
how? two Cocks boyld to Jelly?

An.
fetch half an Ounce of Pearle.

—Exit
Gas.
this is a Cullysse,
for a Consumption: and J hope one Night
has not brought you to need the Cooke already,
and some part of the Gold-smith: what two Trades
in fowre and twenty howres, and lesse time?
'pray heaven the Surgeon, and the Pothecarie
keepe out, and then 'tis well. you'had better fortune
(as far as J see) with your Strumpet-Soiourner
(your litle fowre-Nobles a-weeke: J nere knew you
eate one Ponado all the time y'haue kept her,
and is't in one night now, come-vp to two-Cock-broth?
—Enter Francisca
J wonder at the alteration strangely.

Fra.
good-morrow Gasper.

Gas.
Your hartie wishes Mistris,
and your sweet Dreames come upon You.

Fra.
what's that Sir?

Gas.
in a good Husband, that's my reall-meaning

Fra.
saw you my Brother– –lately?

Gas.
yes.

Fra.
J mett him now
as sad (me-thought) as Greif could make a man,
know you the cause?

Gas.
not J: J know nothing:
but half an ounce of Pearle, and kitchin-Busynes
wc h J will see perform'd with all fidelitie,
J'll breake my trust in nothing: not in porredge, J

—Exit
Fra.
J haue the hardest fortune J thinck of a-hundred
Gentlewomen; some can make merry with a Frend seaven yeere,
and nothing seene: as perfect a Maid still
(to the worlds knowledge) as she came from Rocking.
but 'twas my luck, at the first howre (forsooth)
to prove too fruitfull: sure J'me neere my time.
J'me yet but a Yong Scholler, J may faile
in my Account: but certenly J doe not.
Theis Bastards come vpon poore-venturing Gentle women
ten to one faster then your Legitimate Children.

Yf J had byn married J'll be hangd, if J had ben w
t h Child so soone now: When they are once Husbands, they'll be
whipd ere they take such paines, as a Frend will doe; To
come by water to the Back-dore at Midnight, there stay
perhaps an howre in all weathers, with a paire of Reeking-Water-men,
laden with Bottles of wyne, Chewitts, and
Curran-Custards, J may Cursse those Eg-pies, they are meat
that help forward too fast This hath byn vsuall with me,
night by night (honestie forgive me) When my Brother has
byn dreaming of no such Juncketts; yet he hath farde the
better for my sake, though he litle thinck for what, nor
must he ever. My Frend promisd me to provide saffely for
me, and devise a meanes to save my Creadit here i'th'house.
My Brother sure would kill me if he knew't;

and powder-vp my Frend, and all his kindred
—Enter Jsabella.
for an East-Jndian Voyage.

Is.
Alone Sister?

Fra.
Noe: ther's an other with Me, though You see't not:
'Morrow (sweet Sister) how haue you slept to night?

Js.
more then J thought J should: J 'haue had good rest.

Fra.
J'am glad to heare 't.

Js.
Sister, me-thincks you are too long alone,
and loose much good time, sociable, and honest;
J'am for the married-life, J must praise that now.

Fra.
J cannot blame you (Sister) to com̄end it
You haue happend well (no doubt) on a kind Husband,
and that's not every Womans fortune (Sister)
You know if he were any but my Brother
my praises should not leave him yet so soone.

Jsa.
J must acknowledge (Sister) that my life
is happely blessd with him, he is no Gamster,
that ever J could find, or heare of yet;
nor mid-night Surffeiter: he dos intend
to leave Tobacco too.

Fra.
why heere's a Husband;

Jsa.
he saw it did offend me, and swore freely
hee'll'd nere take pleasure in a Toy agen
that should displease me: some Knights-Wives in Towne
will haue great hope, vpon his reformation
to bring their Husbands breathes into th'old fashion,
and make'em kisse like Christians, not like Pagans,

Fra.
J promise you (Sister) 't wilbe a worthie work,
to put-downe all theis Pipers; 'tis great pitty
there should not be a Statut against them,
as against Fidlers.

Jsa.
theis good Offices,
yf you'had a Husband, you might exercise
to th'good o'th'Common-wealth, and doe much proffit:
beside it is a Comfort to a Woman
t'haue Children (Sister) a great Blessing certenly.

Fra.
they will come fast enough.

Jsa.
not so fast neither,
as they're still wellcom to an honest woman.

Fra.
how neere she comes to me? J protest she grates
my very skin.

Jsa.
were J conceivd with Child
beshrew my hart, J should be so prowd on't:

Fra.
that's naturall: Pride is a kind of Swelling:
and yet J' haue small Cause to be prowd of mine.

Jsa.
you are no good Companion for a Wiffe,
get you a Husband; pre-thee (Sister) doe,
that J may ask your Councell now and then
'twill mend your discourse much: You Mayds know nothing

Fra.
Noe: we are Fooles: but com̄only we prove
quicker Mothers, then you that haue Husbands,
—Enter Antonio
(J'am sure J shall els; J may speake for one)

An.
J will not looke vpon her: J'll passe-by
and make as though J see her not.

Jsa.
why Sir,
'pray your opinion, by the way, with leave (Sir)
J'am councelling your Sister here, to Marry.

An.
to Marry? soft: the Preist is not at leysure yet:
some five yeare hence: would you fayne Marry (Sister?)

Fra.
J haue no such hunger to't (Sir) for J thinck
J'ue a good bitt, that well may stay my Stomach
as well as any that broke-fast a Sinner.

An.
though she seeme tall of growth, she's short in yeares
of some that seeme much lower: how old Sister?
not seaven-teene, for a yeard of Lawne?

Fra.
not yet Sir.

An.
J told you soe.

Fra.
J would he'had laied a Wager of old Shirts rather,
J shall haue more need of them shortly: and yet
a yeard of Lawne will serve for a Christning-Cloth
J haue vse for every thing, as my case stands.

Jsa.
J care not if J trye my Voice this Morning
but J haue got a Cold Sir, by your meanes,

An.
J'll strive to mend that fault.

Jsa.
J thanck you Sir.


Song.
Jn a Maiden-time profest,
then we say that Life is best.
Fasting once the Married Life,
then we onlie praise the wife
There's but one State more to trie
which makes woemen Laugh, or Crie
Widow: Widow. of theis three,
the Midle's best, and that giue me.

An.
there's thy reward.

Jsa.
J will not grumble (Sir)
like some Musitian; if more come, 'tis wellcom.

Fra.
such Trickes has made me doe all that J'haue don,
Your kissing Married-Folkes, spoiles all ye Maides
—Enter Aberzanes.
that ever Live i'th'house with'em: oh here he comes
with his Baggs, and Bottles, he was borne
to lead poore water-men, and J.

Ab.
goe Fellowes into'th'Larder, let the Bakemeates
be sorted by them selues.

An.
why Sir?

Ab.
looke the Canary-Bottles, be well stopt,
the three of Clarret shalbe droonck at dinner.

An.
my good Sir; y'ar too plenteous of theis Curtesies
indeed you are; forbeare'em, J beseech ye,
J know no merrit in me, but poore Love
and a true Frends well-wishing, that can cause
this kindnes in excesse: i'th'State that J am
J shall goe neere to kick this Fellow shortly
and send him downe stayres, wt h his Bag, & Baggage,
why comes he now J'am married? there's the point.
J pray forbeare theis things.

Ab.
alas you know Sir,
theis idle Toyes, which you call Curtesies,
they cost me nothing but my Seruants Trauaile.
One Office must be kind (Sir) to an other
You know the fashion: What, the Gentle-woman
your Sister's sad me-thincks

An.
J know no Cause she has

Fra.
nor shall you. by my good-will. What doe you meane Sir,
shall J stay here, to shame myself. and you?
the Time may be to night, for aught you know.

Ab.
peace: there's meanes wrought, J tell thee.

—Enter Sebastian & Gentleman
Fra.
J Sir, when?

An.
how-now? what's he.

Jsa.
oh, this is the Man, Sir,
J entertaind this Morning, for my Service,
please you to give your liking

An.
yes: he's wellcom,
J like him not amisse: thou wouldst speake Busynes,
wouldst thou not?

Seb.
yes; may it please you Sir,
there is a Gentleman from the Northerne parts,
hath brought a Letter, as it seemes in hast.

An.
from whom?

Gent.
your bonney-Lady-Mother, Sir.

An.
you'are kindly wellcom, Sir: how doth she?

Gent.
J left her heale—varray-well Sir.

Letter.

J praie send your Sister downe with all speed to me
J hope it will proue much for her good, in the waie
of her Preferment; Faile me not, J desire you (Son)
nor Let any Excuse of hers with-hold her; J haue
sent, (ready furnish'd) Horse and Man for her.

Ab.
Now? haue J thought vpon You?

Fra.
peace, good Sir.
you'are worthie of a kindnes an other time.

An.
her Will shalbe obeyd: Sister, prepare your self
you must downe with all speed.

Fra.
J know downe J must;
and good-speed 'send me.

An.
'tis our Mothers pleasure.

Fra.
good Sir wryte back againe, and certefie her
J'am at my harts wish here; J'me with my Frends,
and can be but well, say:

An.
You shall pardon me (Sister)
J hold it no wise part, to Contradict her,
nor would J councell you to't.

Fra.
'tis so vn-couth
living i'th Cuntrie, now J'me vsde to'th Cittie
that J shall ne'ur endure 't.

Ab.
perhaps forsooth
'tis not her meaning You shall live the're long
J doe not thinck but after a Moneth, or soe
you'll be sent-vp againe: that's my Conceit.
how ever, let her haue her Will.

An.
J (good Sir)
great reason 'tis she should

Jsa.
J am sorry (Sister)
'tis our hard fortune, thus to part so soone.

Fra.
the Sorrow wilbe mine.

An.
'please you walke-in (Sir)
wee'll haue one health into those Northerne-Parts
though J be sick at' hart.

Ab.
J Sir, a deepe one,
Which you shall pledge too.

—Ext.
Fra.
you shall pardon me:
J haue pledg'd one too deepe already Sir.

Ab.
peace: all's provided for: the Wine's laid in
Sugar, and Spice: the Place not ten Mile hence.
What cause haue Maides now, to Complaine of Men,
when a Farme-house can make all whole agen?

—Ext
Seb.
Jt takes: ha's no Content: how well she beares it yet?
hardly myself can find so much from her
that am acquainted with the Cold Disease
O honestie's a rare Wealth in a Woman,
it knowes no want, at least will expresse none,
(not in a Looke) yet J'me not throughly happy:
his Jll, dos me no good: well may it keepe me
from open rage, and Madnes for a time,
but J feele harts-greif in the same place, still;
What makes the greatest Torment 'mongst lost Soules?
'tis not so much the horror of their paines
(though they be infinite) as the losse of Joyes:
Jt is that Deprivation, is the Mother
of all the Groanes in Hell; and here on Earth
of all the redd-sighes in the harts of Lovers.
Still She's not mine, that can be no Man's else
till J be nothing, yf Religion
haue the same strength for me, as 't has for others
—Enter Gaspero, & L. Gouernor.
holly Vowes witnes, that our Soules were married

Gas:
Where are you (Sir,) Come 'pray give yor Attendance.
heere's my Lord Gouernor Come.

Gou.
where's our new Kindred?
not Stirring yet J thinck?

Gas.
yes, my good Lord:
please you walk neere?

Gou.
Come Gentle men, wee'll Enter.

Seb.
J' ha' don't vpon a Breach: this 'a lesse Venture.

Scea. 2a.

Enter Almachildes.
Al.
What a mad toy, tooke me, to Sup with Witches?
fye of all druncken humor s, by this hand
J could beat myself when J thinck on't; and the Raskalls
made me good Cheere too: and to my vnderstanding then,
eate some of every dish, and spoild the rest.
but com̄ing to my Lodging, J remember
J was as hungry as a tyred-Foote Post.
What's this? Oh, 'tis the Charme her Hagship gave me,
for my Duchesse obstinate Woman; woond-about
a three-penny-silk Ryban, of three Cullours,
Necte tribus Nodis ternos Amoretta Colores.
Amoretta: why ther's her Name indeed.
Necte-Amoretta-agen, two Bouts,
Nodo et Veneris, dic Vincula Necte:
Nay if Veneris be one, J'm sure there's no dead flesh in 't.
Yf J should vntertake to Construe this now,
J should make a fine peece of work of it
for few yong Gallants are given a good Construction
of any thing (hardly of their best frends wives
Sisters, or Neices:) Let me see what J can doe now.
Necte tribus Nodis: Nick of the Tribe of Noddies
Ternos Colores, that makes Turn'd Cullours,
Nodo et Veneris, Goes to his Venery like a Noddy,
Dic Vincula, with Dick the Vintners Boy

Here were a sweet Charme now, if this were the Meaning on't
and very likely to over-come an honorable Gentlewoman.
The whorson old Helcat, would haue given me the
Brayne of a Catt once, in my hand kerch'er, J bad
her make sawce with't with a vengeance: And a
Litle Bone in the hethermost part of a Woollff's Taile
J bad her pick her Teeth with't, with a pestlence:

Nay this is somewhat Cleanely yet, and hansom,
a Collourd Ryban? a fine gentle Charme,
a man may give't his Sister, his Brothers wiffe
—Enter Amoretta.
ordinarily: See; here she comes luckely.

Am.
Blessd Powres; What secreat syn haue J com̄itted
that still you send this punishment vpon me?

Al.
'tis but a gentle punishment: so take it.

Am.
why Sir. what meane you? will you ravish me?

Al.
what. in the Gallery? and the Sun peepe in?
there's fitter time, and place: 'tis in her Bosom now.

Am.
goe: you're the rudest thing, ere came at Court.

Al.
well: well: J hope you'll tell me an other tale
ere you be two howres older: a rude thing?
J'll make you eate your word; J'll make all split els.

—Exit
Am.
nay: now J thinck on't better: J'am too blame too
there's not a sweeter Gentleman in Court:
Nobely descended too, and Daunces well
beshrew my hart; J'll take him, when ther's time,
he wilbe Catchd-vp quickly: the Duchess saies
sh'as some Employment for him, and has sworne me
to vse my best Art in't: life of my Joyes,
there were good stuff: J will not trust her wt h him.
J'll call him back againe: he must not keepe
Enter Duchesse
out of my sight so long; J shall grow mad then

Duch.
He lives not now to see to morrow spent,
if this Meanes take effect, as ther's no hardnes in 't.
Last night he plaid his horrid Game agen,
Came to my Bed-side at the full of Midnight,
and in his hand that fatall fearefull Cup;
Wak'd me, and forc'd me pledge him, to my trembling,
and my dead Father's scorne; that wounds my sight
that his Remembraunce should be raysde in spight.
But either his Confusion, or mine ends it.
oh Amoretta, hast thou mett him, yet
speake Wench, ha'st don that for me?

Am.
what (good Madam?)

Duch.
distruction of my hopes; do'st ask that now?
didst thou not sweare to Me, out of thy hate
to Almachildes, thou'dst dissemble him
a loving Enterteynement, and a Meeting,
where J should work my will?

Am.
good Madam pardon me:
a loving Enterteinement? J doe protest
myself to give him, (with all speed J can too)
but, as J 'am yet a Maid (a perfect one)
as the old time was wont to afford, when
there was few Tricks, and litle Cun̄ing stirring
J can dissemble none that will serve your turne,
he must haue ev'n a right one, and a plaine one.

Duch.
thou makst me doubt thy health: speak, art thou well?

Am.
oh never better; if he would make hast
and come back quickly: he stayes now too long

Duch.
J'me quight lost in this woman: What's that fell
out of her Bosom now? some Love-token.

Am.
nay, J'll say that for him: hee's the vn-civillst Gentleman:
and every way desertles.

Duch.
who's that now?
she discom̄ends so fast?

Am.
J could not love him (Madam)
of any man, in Court.

Duch.
What's he now.-pree-thee?

Am.
who should it be, but Almachildes, (Madam?)
J never hated man so deepely yet.

Duch.
as Almachildes?

Am.
J am sick (good Madam)
when J but heare him nam'd.

Duch.
how is this possible?
but now thou saidst thou lou'dst him; and didst raise him
'bove all the Court, in praises.

Am.
how great people
may speake their pleasure, Madam; but surely J
should thinck the worsse of my Tongue while J liu'd then.

Duch.
No longer haue J patience to forbeare thee:
thou that retainst an envious soule to goodnes:
He is a Gentleman deserues as much
as ever Fortune yet, bestowd on Man:
the Glory, and prime lustre of our Court;
Nor can there any but our-self, be worthie of him;
and take you notice of that now from Me,
say you haue Warning on't: yf you did love him,
you must not now.

Am.
Let your Grace never feare it

Duch.
thy name is Amoretta, as Ours is,
't has made me Love, and trust thee.

Am.
and my faithfullnes
has appeerd well i'th'proofe still: ha'st-not (Madam?)

Duch.
but if't faile now, 'tis nothing

Am.
then it shall not.
J know he will not be long from fluttring
about this place; now h'as had a sight of me; and J'll performe
Jn all that J vowd (Madam) faithfully.

Duch.
then am J blessd, both in Revenge, and Love
—Enter Almachildes
and thou shalt tast the Sweetnes —Exit


Am.
What Your Aymes be
J list not to enquire: All J desire
is to preserve a Computent honestie
both for nine owne, and his vse that shall haue me
(whose luck so ere it be) oh He's return'd alredy
J knew he would not faile.

Al.
it workes by this time
or the Devill's in 't: J thinck: J'll neu'r trust Witch els
nor sup with 'em this Twelue moneth.

Am.
J must sooth him now:
and 'tis great paine to do't against ones stomach.

Al.
now Amoretta?

Am.
Now y'ar well com Sir,
yf you'll'd come alwaies thus.

Al.
oh, am J soe?
is the case alterd since?

Am.
yf you'll'd be rude,
and know your times, 'twer somewhat: a great Comfort:
'las: J could be as loving and as venturous
as any Woman (wee're all flesh and blood-Man)
Yf you could play the Game out modestly
and not be-tray your hand: J must haue care Sir,
You know J haue a Marriage-time, to Come,
and that's for life: your best Folkes wilbe merry
but looke to the maine-Chaunce, (that's Reputation,)
and then doe what they list.

Al.
wil't heare my oath?
By the sweet health of youth, J wilbe carefull,
and never prate on't: nor like a Cun̄ing-Snarer
make thy Clip'd-Name, the Bird, to Call in others

Am.
Well: yeilding then to such Conditions,
as my poore Bashfullnes shall require from you,
J shall yeild shortly after.

Al.
I'll consent to 'em
and may thy sweet Humilitie be a Patterne
for all prowd-women, living:

Am.
they're beholding to you—.

Ext.

Scea. 3a.

Enter Abberzanes: & an old woman.
Ab.
Soe, Soe: away with him: J love to get 'em,
but not to keeepe'em. Do'st thou know the House?

WOM.
no matter for the House, J know the Porch.

Ab.
there's six pence more for that: away: keep-close:
My Tailor told me he sent away a Maid Seruant
well ballast of all sides, within theis Nine-daies:
his wiffe neu'r dream'd on't: gave the Drab, ten pound,
and she neu'r troubles him: a Com̄on fashion:
He told me 'twas to ridd a-way a Scape,
and J haue sent him this for 't: J remember
a frend of mine once seru'd a prating Trades-man
iust on this fashion (to a haire in-troth)
'tis a good ease to a Man; You can swell a Maid vp
and ridd her for ten pound: (ther's the pursse back agen
what ere becomes of your Money, or your Maid)
this Comes of Bragging now: Jt's well for the Boy too
hee'll get an excellent Trade by 't: and one Sondaies
goe like a Gentleman that has pawnd his Rapier.
He need not Care what Cuntry-man his Father was
nor what his Mother was, when he was gotten
the Boy will doe well certen: 'give him grace,
—Enter Francisca.
to haue a quick hand, and convey things cleanly,
'twilbe his owne an other day: O; well-said
ar't allmost furnish'd? ther's such a Toile alwaies
to sett a Woman to horse: a mightie troble:
The Letter came to Yor Brothers hands J know
on Thursdaie last by Noone; You were expected there
yesterday night.

Fra.
it makes the better, Sir.

Ab.
we must take heed we ride through all the Pudles
'twixt this and that now; that your Saffe-guard-there
may be most probably dabled.

Fra.
alas, Sir,
J neuer markd till now: J hate myself,
how monstrous thyn J looke.

Ab.
not monstrous neither:
a litle sharp i'th'nose, like a Cuntry Wood-cock.

Fra.
fy: fy: how pale J am? J shall be-tray myself
J would you'll'd box-me well, and handsomely
to get me into Cullour.

Ab.
not J: pardon me:
that let a Husband doe, when he has married you
a Frend at Court will never offer that:
Come: how much Spice, and Sugar have you left now
at this poore one-Moneths voiage?

Fra.
sure not much Sir,
J thinck some quarter of a pound of Sugar,
and half an ounce of Spice.

Ab.
heer's no sweet Charge;
and there was thirty pound: good wayght, and true
beside what my man stole when 'twas a-waighing
and that was three pound more; J'll speake with 'least.
the Rhenish-wine is't all run-out in Cawdells too?

Fra.
doe you ask that (Sir) 'tis of a weekes departure.
You see what 'tis now, to get Children, Sir.

Boy.
your Mares are ready both, Sir.

Ab.
Come; wee'll vp then:
Youth: give my Sister a straight wand: ther's two-pence.

Boy.
J'll give her a fine whip, Sir.

Ab.
No: No: No:
though we haue both deseru'd it.

Boy.
heer's a new-one.

Ab.
'pre-thee talk to vs of no Whips (good Boy)
my hart akes when J see'em: Lett's away.

—Ext.