University of Virginia Library

Actus tertij

scæna 1.

Enter Pride, Vaine-glory, Hypocrisie, and Contempt: Pride casts a mist, wherein Mauortius and his company vanish off the Stage, and Pride and her attendants remaine.
Pride.
Braue mindes, now beautifie your thoughts with pompe,
Send forth your Shipps vnto the furthest Seas,
Fetch mee the feathers of th'Arabian Birds,
Bring Mermaides combes, and glasses for my gaze:
Let all your sundry imitating shapes,
Make this your natiue soyle, the land of Apes.
Then Ladies trick your traines with Turkish pride,
Plate your disheau led haire with ropes of Pearle,
Weare sparkling Diamonds like twinckling starres,
And let your spangled crownes shine like the Sunne,
“If you will sit in throne of state with Pride,
“The newest fashion (still) must be your guide.

Vain.
Vaine-glory vowes to lackey by thy foote,
Till she hath swolne mens hearts with Arrogance.

Hyp.
In like designes, twofac'd Hypocrisie,
Is prest to spend her deepest industry.

Gont.
And (till her soueraignty decline and bow)
Contempt shall be enthron'd in euery browe.

Pry.
Then thus, (as soueraigne Empresse of all sinnes)
Pryde turnes her houre and heere her Sceane beginnes.

Enter Furcher, and Uourcher; two Lawyers.
Vour.
How shall we best imploy this idle time?

Four.
Lets argue on some case for exercise.

Vour.
You see the full gorg'd world securely sleepes,
And sweet contention (Lawyers best content)
Is sent by drowsie Peace to banishment.

Pryd.
O these be Lawyers! Concords enemies,
Prydes fuell shall their fire of strife increase.

aside.
Enter Velure and Lyon-rash.
Four.
Signior Uourcher, know you those Cittizens?

Vour.
They are two wealthy Merchants and our friends.

Four.
Yt may be they haue brought vs welcome fees.

Pry.
Lawyers and Merchants met! bestir thee Pride.

aside
Uel.
In faith no sute sir, quiet, quiet all.

Pry.
Fortune and health attend you Gentlemen.

Four.
We thanke you Lady; may we craue your name?

Pry.
Men call me Pryde, and I am Plenties heire:
Immortall, though I beare a mortall showe.
Are not you Lawyers, from whose reuerend lippes
Th'amaxed multitude learne Oracles?
Are not you Merchants, that from East to West.
From th'antarticke to the Artick Poles,
Bringing all treasure that the earth can yeeld?

Omnes.
We are, (most worthy Lady)

Pry.
Then vse your wisedome to enrich your selues,
Make deepe successe high Steward of your store.
Enlarge your mighty spirits, striue to excede,
In buildings, ryot, garments gallantry.
For take this note: The world the show affects,
Playne Vertue, (vilie cladde) is counted Vice,
And makes high blood indure base præiudice.

Vour.
But wee haue Lawes to limitte our attire.

Pry.
Broke with the least touch of a golden wyer.

Vel.
Yet wisedome still commands to keepe a meane,

Pry.
True, had you no meanes to excell the same,
But hauing power, labour to ascend,
The fames of mighty men do neuer end,

Four.
Is not Ambition an aspiring sinne?

Pry.
Yes for blind batts and birds of lazy wing.

Lyon.
Me seemes ti's good to keepe within our bounds,

Pry.
Why beasts themselues, of bounds are discontent,
Spend me your studies to get offices,
Then stooping suiters with vncouered heads
May groaning come, vnbowelling the bagges,
Of their rich burthens, in your wide mouth'd deskes.

Lyon.
But men will taxe vs to want charity.

Pry.
True charity beginneth first at home,
Heere in your bosomes dwell your deere-lou'd hearts,
Feed them with ioy; first crowne their appetites,
And then cast water on the care-scorch't face,
Let your owne longings first be satisfied,
All other pitty is but foolish pryde.

Four.
Sweet councell; worthy of most high regard,
All our indeauours shall be to aspire.

Vour.
Ours to be rich and gallant in attire.

Pry.
All to be braue, else all of no respect,
It is the habit, doth the mind deiect.

Vour.
Lets braue it out, since Pride hath made vs knowe,
Nothing is grac'd that wants a glorious showe.

Exeunt: manet Pryde.
Pry.
The puft vp spirits of the greater sort.
Shall make them scorne the abiect and the base,
Th'impatient spirit of the wretched sort,
Shall thinke imposed duties their disgrace,
Poore naked neede shall be as full of pryde,
As he that for his wealth is Deifide.

Exit.
Enter Steward, with foure Seruingmen, with Swords and Bucklers, in their hose and doublets.
1. ser.
No Steward with discharge shall vs disgrace,

Stew.
Why all the Lords haue now cashierd their traines.

2 ser.
But we haue seru'd his father in the field.

3. ser.
What, thinke they boyes can serue to beard their foes?

Enter Mauortius and Philarchus with their pages.
Page.
Be patient fellow, seest thou not my Lord?

1. ser.
What an I see him? puppet prating ape?

2 ser.
We are no stocks, but we can feele disgrace.

3. ser.
Nor tonglesse blocks, but since we feele, weele speak.

Mauo.
What a coyle keepes those fellows there?

Stew.
These impudent audatious seruing-men,
Scarcely beleeue your honours late discharge.

Exit.
1. ser.
Beleeue it? by this sword and buckler no,
Stript of our liueries, and discharged thus?

Mauo.
Walke sirs, nay walke; awake yee drowsie drones,
That long haue suckt the honney from my hiues:
Be gone yee greedy beefe-eaters y'are best:
The Callis Cormorants from Douer roade,
Are not so chargeable as you to feed.

Phil.
'Tis true my Lord, they carelesly deuoure.
In faith good fellowes get some other trade,
Yee liue but idle in the common-wealth.

Mauo.
Broke we not house vp, you would breake our backs.

1. ser.
We breake your backs? no 'tis your rich lac'd sutes,
And straight lac'd mutton; those breake all your backs.

Phil.
Cease Ruffians, with your swords and bucklers, hence.

2 ser.
For seruice, this is sauage recompence.
Your Fathers bought lands and maintained men?
You sell your lands, and scarse keepe rascall boyes,
Who Ape-like iet, in garded coates; are whipt
For mocking men? though with a shamlesse face,
Yet gracelesse boyes can neuer men disgrace.

3. Ser.
Desertfull vertue: O impiety!

Exeunt.
Mau.
My Lord Philarchus, follow all my course,
I keepe a Taylor, Coach-man, and a Cooke,
The rest for their boord-wages may goe looke,
A thousand pound a yeare, will so be sau'd
For reuelling, and banquetting and playes.

Phil.
Playes, well remembred, we will haue a play,
Steward lets haue Sir Olliuer Owlets men,

Mau.
Philarchus, I mislike your fashion?

Phil.
Faith Ile fly intoo't with a sweeping wing,
Me thinkes your honours hose sit very well,
And yet this fashion is growne so stale;

Mau.
Your hat is of a better blocke then mine.

Phil.
Is on a better block, your Lordship meanes;

Mau,
Without all question tis, he that denies,
Either he hath no iudgement or no eyes.

Phil.
Your Lord-ships doublet-skirt is short and neate,

Mau.
Who sits there, finds the more vneasie seate;

Enter a Page.
Pag.
My Lords, your Supper staies; tis eight a clock,

Mau.
What, is't so late, that fashion's not so good.

Exeunt.
Enter Perpetuana, Fillisella, Bellula with them a Ieweller, a Tyre-woman, and a Taylour; with euery one their seuerall furniture.
Perp.
Of our three Iewells (sir) which likes you best?

Iew.
An excellent piece, this those excells as farre,
As glorious Tytan staines a silly Starre;

Filli.
Tush, be not partiall, but pervse mine well,
See you not proud Ulisses carrying spoyles;

Iew.
The rest are but (to this) in sooth base foyles,
And yet they all are ritch and wondrous faire,

Bell.
But trash; Ile haue a Iewell Amatist,
Whose beauty shall strike blind the gazers Eye;

Perp.
Ile put it downe, one promisd to deuise
A Globelike Iewell cut transparently,
And in the place of fixed starres, to set
The richest stones that mightiest summes could get.

Fill.
Nay Ile be matchlesse for a carckanet,
Whose Pearles and Diamonds plac'd with ruly rocks
Shall circle this faire necke to set it forth,

Bell.
Well Goldsmith, now you may begone.—Taylour.
Exit Ieweller
Ile haue a purfled Roabe, loose boddied-wise.
That shall enioy my iewells may denhead.

Tay.
The loosest bodies are in fashion most,

Perp.
We better know what likes vs best, then you,
Let me haue flaring fashions, tuck't and pinn'd
That powerfull winds may heaue it all a huffe,

Bell.
True measure of my body shalbe tane,
Plaine dealing is the best when all is done,
That fall Pride taught vs when we first begun.

Fill.
Ile haue a rich imbost imbrothery,
On which invaluable pretious Roabe,
Ile hang the glorious brightnesse of my Globe.
Mistresse Pinckanie is my new ruffe done?

Pinc.
Beleeue me Madam tis but new begun.

Bell.
Let pinching citty-dames orecloud their Eies,
Our brests lie forth like conduicts of delight
Able to tice the nicest appetite,
Mistresse Pinckanie, shall I haue this Fanne,

Pink.
Maddam not this weeke doe what I can,

Fill.
Pleasure as bondslaue, to our wills is tyed,
We Ladies cannot be defam'd with Pride,
Come, let's haue a play, let poore slaues prate
Ranck pride in meanest sort, in vs is state,
Remember promise mistres Pinkanie.

Pink.
Well Ladies, though with worke I am opprest,
Worke women alwaies liue by doing, best.

Exeunt,
Enter Chrisoganus Posthast, Gulch, Clout, Gut, and Belch.
Bell.
Chrisoganus faith what's the lowest price,

Chri.
You know as well as I; tenne pound a play.

Gull.
Our Companie's hard of hearing of that side,

Chri.
And will not this booke passe, alasse for pride,
I hope to see you starue and storme for bookes,
And in the dearth of rich inuention,
When sweet smooth lines are held for pretious
Then will you fawne and crouch to Poesie.

Clot.
Not while goosequillian Posthast holds his pen.

Gut.
Will not our owne stuffe serue the multitude!

Chri.
VVrite on, crie on, yawle to the common sort
Of thick skin'd auditours: such rotten stuffs,
More fit to fill the paunch of Esquiline,
Then feed the hearings of iudiciall eares,
Yee shades tryumphe, while foggy Ignorance
Clouds bright Apollos beauty: Time will cleere,
The misty dullnesse of Spectators Eeys,
Then wofull hisses to your fopperies,
O age when euery Scriueners boy shall dippe?
Prophaning quills into Thessaliaes Spring,
When euery artist prentice that hath read
The pleasant pantry of conceipts, shall dare,
To write as confident as Hercules.
When euery Ballad-monger boldly writes:
And windy forth of bottle-ale doth fill
Their purest organ of inuention:
Yet all applauded and puft vp with pryde,
Swell in conceit, and load the Stage with stuffe,
Rakt from the rotten imbers of stall iests:
Which basest lines best please the vulgar sence
Make truest rapture lose preheminence.

Bel.
The fellow doth talke like one that can talke,

Gutt.
Is this the well-learn'd man Chrisoganus,
He beats the Ayre the best that ere I heard,

Chri.
Yee scrappes of wit, base Ecchoes to our voice,
Take heed yee stumble not with stalking hie?
Though fortune reeles with strong prosperity.

Exit.
Clou.
Farwell the Muses, poore Poet adiew,
When we haue need't may be weele send for you.

Enter Steward.
Stew.
My Lord hath sent request to see a play.

Post.
Your Lord? what, shall our paines be soundly recompenc'd?
With open hand of honours francke reward?

Stew.
Yee shall haue foure faire Angells gentlemen,

Clout.
Faire Ladies meane you? we haue foure i'th' play

Ste.
Nay (my good friends) I meane in faire pure gold.

Gull.
Fie tis to much, too long ere it be told,

Stew.
Mas these are single iests indeed,
But I will double it once, ye shall haue eight.

Post.
But are you sure that none will want the weight?
To wey downe our expence in sumptuous Clothes?

Bell.
Well, pleasures pride shall mount to higher rate,
Tenne pound a play will scarce maintaine our state,

Stew.
Fat Plenty brings in Pride and Idlenesse:
The world doth turne a Maze in giddy round:
This time doth rayse, what other times confound.

Post.
O sir, your morall lines were better spent,
In matters of more worthy consequent.

Gull.
Well, whilest occasion helpes to clime alofft,
Wee'le mount Promotions highest battlement.

Stew.
And breake your necks I hope; clime not too fast,
A heady course, confusion ends at last.

Post.
Preach to the poore; looke Steward, to your compt,
Direct your houshold, teach not vs to mount:

Stew.
Farewell yee proud (I hope they heare me not)
Proud Statute Rogues.

Exit they follow.
Enter Fourcher, Uelure, Lyon-rash, Champerty and Calamancha, their wiues.
Champ.
Faith husband, Ile haue one to beare my traine,
Another bare before to vsher me.

Cala.
Nay I my selfe will learne the Courtly grace,
Honour shall giue my wealth a higher place.
Out on these veluet gards, and black lac'd sleeues,
These simpering fashions simply followed.

Cham.
Well, through the streetes in thundring coache Ile ride,
Why serues our wealth, but to maintaine our pride?
Lawe, Armes, and Merchandize, these are three heads,
From whence Nobility first tooke his spring.
Then let our haughty mindes our fortunes spend,
Pleasure and honour shall our wealth attend.

Calla.
Nay I will haue it, I that I will.

Four.
Containe your speech, within your priuate thoughts,
Wee are encountred with the honour'd traine.

Enter Mauortius, Philarchus, Fillissella, Bellula, and others.
Mauo.
Faire Ladies, could these times affoord you cates,
You should be feasted in Apolloes hall;
But (Lords) the chaps of wide-pancht gluttonie,
Haue wafted all the dainties of the land.
Seruant Philarchus, what, no maske too night?

Phil.
A Play, a Maske, a Banquet, weele haue all.

Enter Steward.
Stew.
My Lord, the Players now are growne so proud,
Ten pound a play, or no point Comedy.

Exit.
Mauo.
What? insolent with glib prosperity?
Faith Gentlemen no Players will appeare:
Gallants, to your Maske.

Phil.
How soone they can remember to forget,
Their vndeserued Fortunes and esteeme;
Blush not the peasants at their pedigree?
Suckt pale with lust; what, bladders swolne with pride,
To strout in shreds of nitty brogerie?

Mauo.
Well, though the penny raisd them to the pound,
Iust Euuie, causelesse Pride doth still confound.

Phil.
Well let them blase, ther's none so blind but sees,
Prydes fall is still frost-bit with miseries.
Enter a Maske.
What, come they in so blunt without deuise?

Fill.
The night is dead before the sport be borne.

Mauor.
Cease Musick there, prepare to banquet sirs.

Phi.
Ceres and Bacchus tickled Venus stirres.

Mau.
Gallants vnmaske, and fall to banquetting,
A health about, carowse shall feede carowse.

Phil.
The first is pledg'd, and heere begins a fresh.

Mau.
This royall health of welcome greets you all.

Vouch.
Bacchus begins to reele with going round.

Phil.
The grape begins to fume.

Mauor.
Why let it fret: not pledge a Nobleman.

Champ.
I like this Iewell, Ile haue his fellow.

Bell.
How? you? what fellow it? gip Veluet gards.

Champ.
Insolent for-beare.

Mauor.
A petty-foggers whoodded wife so pearcht?

Cham.
Why not proud Lord? then bid your mincks come downe.

Vouch.
Dishonourable Lord, I say thou li'st.

Mauor.
I challenge thee on that disgracefull word,

Vouch.
Heere answer I thy challenge in this wine.

Mauo.
I will confirme thy pledge, and meete thee too.

They speake and fall a sleepe on the Stage.
Sound Musicke.
Enter Enuy alone to all the Actors sleeping on the Stage: the musicke sounding: shee breaths amongst them.
Enuy.
Downe climbing Pride to Stygian Tartarie,
The breath of Enuy fils the empty world,
Enuy, whose nature is to worke alone,
As hating any Agent but her selfe,
Turne, turne, thou Lackey to the winged Tyme,
I enuie thee in that thou art so slow,
And I so swift to mischiefe: So, now stand,
Peace, Plenty, Pryde, had their competitors,
But I enioy my Soueraignty alone.
Now shall proud Noblesse, Law, and Merchandize,
Each swell at other, as their veines would breake,
Fat Ignorance, and rammish Barbarisme,
Shall spit and driuell in sweete Learnings face,
Whilst he halfe staru'd in Enuie of their power,
Shall eate his marrow, and him-selfe deuoure,
Awake yee Brawne-fed Epicures, looke vp,
And when you thinke your clearest eyes to finde.
Be all their Organs strooke with Enuie blind.

Exit.
They all awake, and begin the following Acte.