University of Virginia Library

Actus Quintus

Scœna prima.

Enter Thersites with Souldiers, bringing in a table, with chayres and stooles plac'd about it.
Ther.
Come, come, spread, spread, vp with the pulpets straight,
Seates for the Iudges, all the Kings of Greece.
Why when you lazy drudges? Is this place
For a whole Iury royall? where's the Armour,
The prize for which the crafty Fox Vlisses,
And mad Bull Aiax, must this day contend?
What, is all ready? rare world, when insteade
Of smooth tong'd Lawyers, Souldiers now must pleade.

Loud Musicke. Enter all the Kings of Greece, the Armour of Achilles, borne betwixt Vlysses and Aiax, and plac'd vpon the table, the Princes seate themselues, a chayre is plac'd at eyther end of the Stage, the one for Aiax, the other for Vlysses.
Aga.
This Sessions valiant Duke of Salamine,
And King of Ithaca was cald for you:
Since great Achilles armour is the prise,
Due to the worthier, heere before these Kings,
And in the face of all the multitude,
You are appoynted for your seuerall pleaes,
That prince who to these armes can prooue most right,
Shall weare his purchase in the armies sight.

Aia.
If to the worthiest they belong to mee:
Could you select 'mongst all this throng of Princes,
None worthier then Vlisses, to contend
VVith Aiax? and in viewe of all our Nauy,
Of all these tall ships, gilt with Hectors flames,
VVhich when Vlisses fled into his tent,
I, I extinguisht, these twelue hundred ships
I sau'd at once, deseru'd Achilles armes,
Laertes sonne may thinke it grace enough,
That though hee misse his ayme, hee may be sayd
To haue stroue with Aiax: Aiax who excels
As much in armes, as hee in eloquence.
My hands performe more then his tong can speake,
Act more then hee can talke: were I lesse valiant,
And had but halfe my vigour (like him) weake,
My royall birth would for this armour speake.
Duke Telamon, that in the Argoe sayl'd
To Calchos: and in Isliums second sacke,
First rear'd Alcides colours on the VVals
My father was: His father Eacus,
On of the three that iudge infernall soules;
And Eacus was sonne to Iupiter.
Thus am I third from Ioue; besides Achilles
By marriage was my brother, and I craue,
Since hee is dead my brothers armes to haue.
VVhat hath Vlisses with our Kin to doe?
Beeing a stranger, not of Peleus blood:
Graue Heroes, if not honour, prize my merit,
I pleade both worth and blood, these armes to inherit.

Mene.
Beleeue me, two sound pleas on Aiax part,
I feare the prize will bee conferr'd on him.

Dio.
His arguments are maximes, and sound proofes
To winne him way, into the souldiers hearts.

Agam.
Let him proceede.

Aia
Because I hasted to the siege of Troy,
When hee feign'd madnes, must hee weare these armes?
When in the Phalanx, with old Nestor charging,
Thou at the name of Hector fledst the fielde,
And left the good old man incompast round,
Calling aloud Vlisses, Vlisses stay,
The more hee cry'd the more thou mad'st thy way.
Prince Diomed you saw it, and vpbrayded
This Ithacans base flight, but see Heauens Iustice.
Old Nestor scapt, great Hector was not there;
But meetes Vlisses, as hee fled from Hector,
Hee that but late denide helpe, now wants helpe,
For at the sight of Hector downe he fals,
And cryes aloud for ayde, I came, and saw thee
Quaking with terrour vnder Hectors arme,
The pondrous blow I tooke vpon my Targe,
And as the least of all my noble deedes,
Sau'd these faint limbes from slaughter, which now sue,
To don these glorious armes, nor doe I blame thee
Forfearing Hector: what is hee of Greece
That sauing Aiax, quakt not at his name?
Yet did I meete that Hector guil'd in blood
Of Grecian Princes, fought with him so long,
Till all the hoast deaft with our horrid stroakes,
Begirt vs with amazement: wilt thou know
My honour in this combate? it was this,
I was not conquered: if thou still contendest?
Imagine but that field, the Time, the foes,
Hector aliue, thee quaking at his feete,
And Aiax interposing his broad shield
'Twixt death and thee, and thou the armes must yeeld.

Diom.
What can the wise Vlisses, say to this?
Aiax preuailes much with the multitude,
The generall murmur doth accord with him.

Men.
I euer thought the sonne of Telamon
Did better merit th' Achillean Armes
Then the Dulichian King.

Agam.
Forbeare to censure.
Till both be fully heard.

Aiax.
Me thinkes graue Heroes, you should seeke an Aiax
To weare these Armes, not let these Armes be sought
By Aiax: what hath slye Vlisses done
To counteruaile my acts? kild vnarm'd Rhesus,
And set on sleepie Dolon in the night,
Stolne the Palladium from the Troian Fane.
Oh braue exploits; nor hast thou these perform'd
Without the helpe of warlike Diomed:
So you betwixt you should deuide these spoyles.
Alas thou knowst not what thou seekst, fond man,
Thou that fightst all by craft and in the night
The radiant splendor of this burnisht Helme
Shining in darknesse, as the Sun by day,
Thy theeuish spoyles and ambush would betray.
Thy politicke head's too weake to beare this caske,
This massie Helme; thou canst not mount his Speare,
His warlike shield that beares the world ingrauen
Will tire thine arme, foole thou dost aske a Speare,
A shield a caske, thou hast not strength to weare.
Now if these Kings, or the vaine peoples errour
So farre should erre from truth to giue them thee,
Twould be a meanes to make thee sooner dye:
The weight would lagge thee that art wont to flye:
Thou hast a shield vnscar'd, my seuen-fold Targe
With thousand gashes peece-meald from mine arme,
And none but that would fit mee: To conclude,
Go beare these Armes for which we two contend
Into the mid-ranks of our enemies,
And bidde vs fetch them thence, and he to weare them
By whom this royall Armour can be wonne,
I had rather fight then talke, so I haue done.

A loud shout within crying Aiax, Aiax:
Ulis.
If with your prayers oh Grecian Kings, my vowes
Might haue preuail'd with Heauen, there had bin then
No such contention, thou hadst kept thine Armes,
And wee Achilies thee: But since the Fates
Haue tane him from vs, who hath now more right
To claime these Armes he dead, then hee that gaue them
Vnto Achilles liuing? nor great Princes,
Let that smooth eloquence, yon fellow scornes,
(If it bee any) bee reiected now,
And hurt his maister, which so many times
Hath profited whole Greece, if we plead blood
Which is not ours, but all our Ancestours.
Laertes was my father, his Arcesius,
His Ioue, from whom I am third: beside I claime
A second god-head by my mothers name.
What doe wee talke of birth? If birth should beare them,
His father being nearer Ioue then hee
Should weare this honour, or if next of blood,
Achilles father Peleus should inioy them,
Or his sonne Pirhus; but wee plead not kinred,
Or neare propinquity: let alliance rest,
His bee the Armour that deserues it best.
Achilles mother Thetis being foretold
Her sonne should die at Troy, conceal'd him from vs
In habite of a Lady, to this siege
I brought him, therefore challenge all his deeds
As by Vlisses done: 'Twas I sack't Thebes,
Chriscis, and Scylla, with Lernessus walls,
I Troilus and renowned Hector slew:
First with this Helmet I adorn'd his head,
Hee gaue it liuing, who demands it dead?

Dio.
'Tis true, for like a Pedler being disguis'd,
And comming where Achilles spent his youth
In womanish habite, the young Ladyes they
Looke on his Glasses, Iewells and fine toyes:
Hee had a Bow too much Achilles drew,
So by his strength the Ithacan him knew.
Had Aiax gone, Achilles then had stay,
Hector still liu'd, our ransack't Tents to inuade:
What canst thou doe but barely fight? no more;
I can both fight and counsell, I direct
The manner of our battailes, and propose
For victuall and munition, to supply
The vniuersall hoast, cheere vp the souldiers
To indure a tedious siege, when all the Army
Cry'd let's away for Greece, and rais'd their Tents.
Aiax amongst the formost had trust vp
His bagge and baggage: when I rated him,
And them, and all, and by my Oratory
Perswaded their retreat: What Greece hath wonne
From Troy since then, is by Vlisses done.
Behold my wounds oh Grecians, and iudge you
If they be cowards marks th'are in my brest:
Let boasting Aiax shew such noble skarres.
These Grecian Heroes tooke I in your warres.
I grant hee fought with Hector, 'twas well done,
Where thou deseru'st well I will giue thee due,
But what was the successe of that great day?
Hector of Troy vnwounded went away.

Men.
Now sure the prise will to Vlisses fall,
The murmuring souldiers mutter his deserts,
Preferring him fore Aiax: heare the rest.

Vlis.
But oh Achilles, when I view these Armes,
I cannot but lament thine obsequies:
Thou wall of Greece, when thou wast basely slaine
I tooke thee on my souldiers, and from Troy
Bore thee then arm'd in the abillements
I once more seeke to beare, behold that shield.
Tis a description Cosmographicall
Of all the Earth, the Ayre, the Sea and Heauen,
What are the Hyades? or grim Orion;
Hee pleads, or what's Arcton? thy rude hand
Would lift a shield, thou canst not vnder stand:
To omit my deeds of Armes, which all these know
Better then I can speake. When in the night
I venter'd through Troyes gates, and from the Temple
Rap't the Palladium, then I conquerd Troy,
Troy whilst that stood could neuer be subdu'd,
In that I brought away their gods, their honours,
Troyes ruine and the triumphs of whole Greece.
What hath blunt Aiax done to conteruaile
This one of mine? Hee did with Hector fight,
I tenne yeeres warre haue ended in one night.
What Aiax did was but by my direction,
My counsell fought in him, and all his honours
(If they be any,) hee may thankc mee for
What hee hath done, was since his flight I stayd,
I therefore claime these Armes: so I haue sayd.

A shout within Vlisses, Vlisses. The Princes rise.
Agam.
Such is the clamour of the multitude,
And such Ulisses are your great deserts,
That those rich Armes are thine, the prize inioy

Vlis.
To the defence of Greece and sack of Troy.

Dio.
Come Princes, now this striffe is well determin'd.

Men.
To see how eloquence the people charmes,
Ulisses by his tongue hath gain'd these Armes.

Agam.
Counsell preuailes 'boue strength, Heralds proclaime
Through the whole Campe Vlisses glorious name.

Exeunt. The Armes borne in triumph before Vlisses.
Aiax.
What dream'st thou Aiax?
Or is this obiect reall that I see,
Which topsiturnes my braine, base Ithaca
To sway desert thus: Oh that such rich Troophies
Should cloath a cowards backe, nor is it strange;
I'le goe turne coward too, and henceforth plot,
Turne politicians all, all politicians.
A rush for valour, valour? this is the difference
'Twixt the bold warrier, and the cunning states-man,
The first seekes honour, and the last his health:
The valiant hoord the knocks, the wise the wealth.
It was a gallant Armour, Aiax limbs
Would haue become it brauely; the disgrace
Of loosing such an Armour by contention,
Will liue to all posterity, and the shame
In Stigian Lethe drowne great Aiax name.
Oh that I had heere my base opposite,
In th' Achillean Armour briskly clad,
Vulcan that wrought it out of gadds of Steele
With his Ciclopian hammers, neuer made
Such noise vpon his Anvile forging it,
Then these my arm'd fists in Vlisses wracke,
To mould it new vpon the cowards backe.

Enter Thersites.
Ther.
Why how now mad Greeke?

Aia.
And art thou come Ulisses? thus, and thus
I'le hammer on thy proofe steel'd Burganet.

Aia.
Hold Aiax, hold, the diuell take thee, hold;
I am Thersites, hell rot thy fingers off.

Aia.
But art not thou Ulisses?

Ther:
No I tell thee.

Aia.
And is not thine head arm'd?

Ther.
Hells plagues confound thee, no; thou think'st thou
Hast Menelaus head in hand, I am Thersites.

Aia.
Thersites? Canst thou rayle?

Ther.
Oh yes, yes; better then fight.

Aia.
And curse?

Ther.
Better then either: rarely.

Aia.
And spit thy venome in the face of Greece?

Ther.
Admirably.

Aia.
Doe, doe, let's heare, prethee for heauens sake doe.

Ther.
With whom shall I begin?

Aia.
Beginne with the head.

Ther.
Then haue at thee Menelaus, thou art a king and a—
No more, but if on any, rayle on mee.
Desert should still be snarl'd at, vice posse free.

Ther.
Who thou the son of Telamon, thou art a foole,
An Asse, a very blocke. What makest thou here at
Troy to ayde a Cuckold, beeing a Bachelour?
Paris hath stolne no wife of thine: if Aiax
Had beene ought but the worst of these, he might
Haue kept his Country, solac'd his father, and
Comforted his mother: what thankes hast thou
For spending thy meanes, hazarding thy souldiers?
Wasting thy youth, loosing thy blood,
Indangering thy life? and all for a—

Aiax.
Peace.

Ther.
Yes peace for shame,
But what thankes hast thou for all thy trauaile?
Vlisses hath the armour, and what art thou now
Reckoned? a good moyle, a horse that knowes
Not his owne strength, an Asse fit for seruice,
And good for burthens, to carry gold, and to
Feede on thistles: farwell Coxe-combe. I shall be
Held to bee a Cocke of the same dunghill,
For bearing thee company so long,
Ile to Vlisses.

Aia.
Base slaue, thou art for Cowards, not for men
Ile stown'd thee if thou com'st not backe againe:
This vantage haue the valiant of the base,
Death, which they coldly feare, we boldly imbrace.
Helpe me to rayle on them too, or thou dyest.

Ther.
Do't then, whilst tis hot.

Aia.
What's Agamemnon our great Generall?

Ther.
A blind Iustice, and I would he had kist
Fortunes blind cheekes, when hee could not see
To doe thee Iustice.

Aia.
Well, and what's Menelaus?

Ther.
A King and a Cuckold, and a horne-plague
Consume him.

Aia.
Amen. What's Diomed? he sat on the bench too.

Ther.
A very bench-whistler: and loues Cresida.
Hell and confusion swallow him.

Aia.
Amen. Amongst these what's Thersites?

Ther.
A Rogue, a rayling Rogue, a Curr, a barking
Dog, the Pox take mee else.

Aia.
Amen. But what's Vlisses my base aduersary?

Ther.
A dam'd pollitician, Scilla and Charibdis swallow him.

Aia.
And greedily deuoure him.

Ther.
And vtterly consume him.

Aia.
And eate vp his posterity.

Ther.
And rot out his memory:

Aia.
In endlesse infamy.

Ther.
And euerlasting obliquie.

Both.
Amen.

Aia.
Inough, no more: shall he the Armes inioy.
And wee the shame? away Thersites, flye,
Our prayers now sayd, we must prepare to dye.

Ther.
Dye, and with them be dam'd.

Exit.
Enter ouer the Stage all the Grecian Princes, courting and applauding Vlisses, not minding Aiax.
Aia.
Not looke on Aiax? Aiax Telamon,
Hee that at once sau'd all your ships from fire,
Not looke on me? ha? are these hands? this sword?
Which made the fame of Troy great Hector shrinke
Below the ruines of an abiect scorne?
Sleighted? so sleighted? what base thing am I,
To creepe to so dull Greeke, whom fame or blood
Hath rair'd one step aboue? Ioue, see this;
And laugh old Grand-sir: Ha, ha, ha, by hell
I'le shake thy Kingdome for't: not looke on Aiax?
The triple headed-dog, the whippes of Steele,
The rauenous Vulture, and the restlesse stone
Are all meere fables; heer's a trusty sword,
'Tis mine, mine owne, who claimes this from me? ha?
Cowards and shallow witted fooles haue slept
Amidst an armed troupe safe and secure
Vnder this guard: nay Agamemnon too.
But see, see from yon Sea, a shoale of sands
Come rowling on, trick't vp in brisled sinnes
Of Porposses and Dog-fish ho my sword,
I will incounter them, they come from Greece,
And bring a poysonous breath from Ithaca
Temper'd with false Vlisses gall, foh, foh;
It stinks of's wifes chast vrinall, looke, looke
By yonder wood, how sliely in the skirts
March policy and the diuell, on, I feare you not:
Dare you not yet? not one to fight with mee:
Who then? what's hee must cope with Aiax?
Echo.
Aiax?

Aia.
Well sayd old boy, wa'st Nestor my braue Lad?
I'le doot, I'le doot, come my fine cutting blade,
Make mee immortall: liuely fountaine sprout,
Sprout out, yet with more life, braue glorious streame
Growe to a Tyde, and sinke the Grecian fleete
In seas of Aiax blood: so ho, so ho.
Lure backe my soule againe, which in amaze
Gropes for a perch to rest on: Heart, great heart
Swell bigger yet and split, know gods, know men,
Furies, inraged Spirits, Tortures all,
Aiax by none could but by Aiax fall.

He kills himselfe.
Enter on the one part Agamemnon, Vlisses, Menelaus, Diomed, with the body of Hector borne by Grecian souldiers: On the other part, Priam, Paris, Deiphebus, Æneas, Anthenor, with the body of Achilles borne by Troian souldiers, they interchange them, and so with traling the Colours on both sides depart, Thersites onely stayes behinde and concludes.

The Epilogue.

Ther.
A sweete exchange of Treasure, term't I may.
Euen earth for ashes, and meere dust for clay:
Let Aiax kill himselfe, and say 'twas braue
Hector, a worthy Call, yet could not saue
Poore foole his Coxcombe: Achilles beare him hye,
And Troilus boldly, all these braue ones dye.
Ha, ha, iudge you; Is it not better farre
To keepe our selues in breath, and linger warre:
Had all these fought as I'ue done, such my care
Hath beene on both sides, that presume I dare,
These had with thousands more suruiu'd: Iudge th'hoast,
I shed no blood, no blood at all haue lost:
They shall not see young Pirhus, nor the Queene
Penthiselea, which had they but beene
As wise as I, they might: nor Sinon, hee
Famous of all men, to be most like mee.
Nor after these, Orestes, and his mother
Pillades Egistus with a many other
Our second part doth promise: These if I fayle,
As I on them; you on Thersites rayle.