University of Virginia Library

Scene VI.

Interest. Practise. Bias. Compasse. Palate. Rut. Ironside.
To them.
Int.
The truth is, Mr. Practise, now wee are sure
That you are off, we dare come on the bolder:
The portion left, was sixteene thousand pound,
I doe confesse it, as a just man should.
And call here Mr. Compasse, with these Gentlemen,
To the relation: I will still be just.
Now for the profits every way arising,
It was the Donors wisedome, those should pay
Me for my watch, and breaking of my sleepes;
It is no petty charge, you know, that summe;
To keepe a man awake, for fourteene yeare.

Pra.
But (as you knew to use it i' that time)
It would reward your waking.

Int.
That's my industry;
As it might be your reading, studie, and counsell;
And now your pleading, who denies it you?
I have my calling too. Well, Sir, the Contract
Is with this Gentleman, ten thousand pound.
(An ample portion, for a younger brother,
With a soft, tender, delicate rib of mans flesh,
That he may worke like waxe, and print upon.)
He expects no more then that summe to be tendred,
And hee receive it: Those are the conditions.

Pra.
A direct bargaine, and sale in open market.

Int.
And what I have furnish'd him with all o' the by,
To appeare, or so: A matter of foure hundred,
To be deduc'd upo' the payment—.

Bia.
Right.
You deale like a just man still.

Int.
Draw up this
Good Mr. Practise, for us, and be speedy.

Pra.
But here's a mighty gaine Sir, you have made
Of this one stock! the principall first doubled,
In the first seven yeare; and that redoubled
I'the next seven! beside sixe thousand pound,
There's threescore thousand got in fourteene yeare,
After the usuall rate of ten i' the hundred,
And the ten thousand paid.

Int.
I thinke it be!

Pra.
How will you scape the clamour, and the envie?

Int.

Com.
Gentlemen,
Doctors, and Schollers, yo'll heare this, and looke for
As much true secular wit, and deepe Lay-sense,
As can be showne on such a common place.

Int.
First, wee all know the soule of man is infinite
I' what it covers. Who desireth knowledge,
Desires it infinitely. Who covers honour,
Covets it infinitely. It will be then
No hard thing, for a coveting man, to prove
Or to confesse, hee aimes at infinite wealth.

Com.
His soule lying that way.

Int.
Next, every man
Is i'the hope, or possibility
Of a whole world: this present world being nothing,
But the dispersed issue of first one:
And therefore I not see, but a just man
May with just reason, and in office ought
Propound unto himselfe.

Com.
An infinite wealth!
Ile beare the burden: Goe you on Sir Moath.

Int.
Thirdly, if wee consider man a member,
But of the body politique, we know,
By just experience, that the Prince hath need
More of one wealthy, then ten fighting men.

Com.
There you went out o' the road, a little from us.

Int.
And therefore, if the Princes aimes be infinite,
It must be in that, which makes all.

Com.
Infinite wealth.

Int.
Fourthly, 'tis naturall to all good subjects,
To set a price on money; more then fooles
Ought on their Mrs. Picture; every piece
Fro' the penny to the twelve pence, being the Hieroglyphick,
And sacred Sculpture of the Soveraigne.

Com.
A manifest conclusion, and a safe one.

Int.
Fiftly, wealth gives a man the leading voice,
At all conventions; and displaceth worth,
With generall allowance to all parties:
It makes a trade to take the wall of vertue;
And the mere issue of a shop, right Honourable.
Sixtly, it doth inable him that hath it
To the performance of all reall actions,
Referring him to himselfe still: and not binding
His will to any circumstance, without him;
It gives him precise knowledge of himselfe;
For, be he rich, he straight with evidence knowes
Whether he have any compassion,
Or inclination unto vertue, or no;
Where the poore knave erroniously beleeves,
If he were rich, he would build Churches, or
Doe such mad things. Seventhly, your wise poore men
Have ever beene contented to observe
Rich Fooles, and so to serve their turnes upon them:
Subjecting all their wit to the others wealth.
And become Gentlemen Parasites, Squire Bauds,
To feed their Patrons honorable humors.
Eightly, 'tis certaine that a man may leave
His wealth, or to his Children, or his friends;
His wit hee cannot so dispose, by Legacie?
As they shall be a Harrington the better for't.

Com.
He may intaile a Jest upon his house, though:
Enter Ironside.
Or leave a tale to his posteritie,
To be told after him.

Iro.
As you have done here?
T'invite your friend, and brother to a feast,
Where all the Guests are so mere heterogene,
And strangers, no man knowes another, or cares
If they be Christians, or Mahumetans!
That here are met.

Com.
Is't any thing to you brother,
To know Religions more then those you fight for?

Iro.
Yes, and with whom I eat. I may dispute,
And how shall I hold argument with such,
I neither know their humors, nor their heresies;
Which are religions now, and so receiv'd?
Here's no man among these that keepes a servant,
To inquire his Master of: yet i' the house,
I heare it buzz'd, there are a brace of Doctors;
A Foole, and a Physician: with a Courtier,
That feeds on mulbery leaves, like a true Silkeworme:
A Lawyer, and a mighty Money-Baud,
Sir Moath! has brought his politique Bias with him:
A man of a most animadverting humor:
Who, to indeare himselfe unto his his Lord,
Will tell him, you and I, or any of us,
That here are met, are all pernitious spirits,
And men of pestilent purpose, meanely affected
Vnto the State wee live in: and beget
Himselfe a thankes, with the great men o' the time,
By breeding Jealouses in them of us,
Shall crosse our fortunes, frustrate our endeavours,
Twice seven yeares after: And this trick be call'd
Cutting of throats, with a whispering, or a pen-knife.
I must cut his throat now: I'am bound in honour,
And by the Law of armes, to see it done;
I dare to doe it; and I dare professe
The doing of it: being to such a Raskall,
Who is the common offence growne of man-kind;
And worthy to be torne up from society.

Com.
You shall not doe it here, Sir.

Iro.
Why? will you
Intreat your selfe, into a beating for him,
My courteous brother? If you will, have at you,
No man deserves it better (now I thinke on't)
Then you: that will keepe consort with such Fidlers,
Pragmatick Flies, Fooles, Publicanes, and Moathes:
And leave your honest, and adopted brother.

Int.
'Best raise the house upon him, to secure us;
Hee'll kill us all!

Pal.
I love no blades in belts.

Rut.
Nor I.

Bia.
Would I were at my shop againe,
In Court, safe stow'd up, with my politique bundels.

Com.
How they are scatter'd!

Iro.
Run away like Cimici,
Into the cranies of a rotten bed-stead.

Com.
I told you such a passage would disperse 'hem,
Although the house were their Fee-simple in Law,
And they possest of all the blessings in it.

Iro.
Pray heaven they be not frighted from their stomacks:
That so my Ladies Table be disfurnish'd
Of the provisions!

Com.
No, the Parsons calling
By this time, all the covey againe, together.
Here comes good tydings! Dinners o' the boord.