University of Virginia Library

Act 2.

Scene 1.

Lady.
Prudence.
Come wench, this sute will serue: dispatch, make ready.
It was a great deale with the biggest for me;
Which made me leaue it off after once wearing.
How do's it fit? wilt come together?

Pru.
hardly.

Lad.
Thou must make shift with it. Pride feeles no pain:
Girt thee hard, Pru. Pox o' this errand Taylour,
He angers me beyond all marke of patience.
These base Mechanicks neuer keepe their word,
In any thing they promise.

Pru.
'Tis their trade, madam;
To sweare and breake, they all grow rich by breaking,
More then their words; their honesties, and credits,
Are still the first commodity they put off.

Lad.
And worst, it seemes, which makes 'hem do't so often.
If he had but broke with me, I had not car'd,
But, with the company, the body politique—

Pru.
Frustrate our whole designe, hauing that time,
And the materials in so long before?

Lad.
And he to faile in all, and disappoint vs?
The rogue deserues a torture—

Pru.
To be crop'd
With his owne Scizzers.

Lad.
Let's deuise him one.

Pru.
And ha' the stumps sear'd vp with his owne searing candle?

Lad.
Close to his head, to trundle on his pillow?
I'le ha' the Leasse of his house cut out in measures.

Pru.
And he be strangl'd with 'hem?

Lad.
No, no life
I would ha'touch't, but stretch'd on his owne yard
He shold be alittle, ha' the strappado!

Pru.
Or an ell of taffata
Drawne thorow his guts, by way of glister, & fir'd
With aqua vitæ?

Lad.
Burning i'the hand
With the pressing iron cannot saue him.

Pru.
Yes,
Now I haue got this on: I doe forgiue him,
What robes he should ha'brought.

Lad.
Thou art not cruell,
Although streight-lac'd, I see, Pru!

Pru.
This is well.

Lad.
'Tis rich enough! But 'tis not what I meant thee!
I would ha'had thee brauer then my selfe,
And brighter farre. 'Twill fit the Players yet,
When thou hast done with it, and yeeld thee somwhat.

Pru.
That were illiberall, madam, and mere sordid
In me, to let a sute of yours come there.

Lad.
Tut, all are Players, and but serue the Scene. Pru,
Dispatch; I feare thou dost not like the prouince,
Thou art so long a fitting thy selfe for it.
Here is a Scarfe, to make thee a knot finer.

Pr.
You send me a feasting, madame.

La.
Weare it wench.

Pru.
Yes. but, with leaue o'your Ladiship, I would tel you
This can but beare the face of an odde iourney.

Lad.
Why Pru?

Pru.
A Lady of your ranke and quality,
To come to a publique Inne, so many men,
Yong Lords, and others, i'your company!
And not a woman but my selfe, a Chamber-maid!

Lad.
Thou doubt'st to be ouer-layd Pru? Feare it not,
Ile beare my part, and share with thee, i'the venter.

Pru.
O but the censure, madame, is the maine,
What will they say of you? or iudge of me?
To be translated thus, 'boue all the bound
Of fitnesse, or decorum?

Lad.
How, now! Pru!
Turn'd foole vpo'the suddaine, and talke idly
I'thy best cloathes! shoot bolts, and sentences
T'affright babies with? as if I liu'd
To any other scale then what's my owne?
Or sought my selfe, without my selfe, from home?

Pru.
Your Ladyship will pardon me, my fault,
If I haue ouer-shot, I'le shoote no more.

Lad.
Yes shoot againe, good Pru, Ile ha' thee shoot,
And aime, and hit: I know 'tis loue in thee,
And so I doe interpret it.

Pru.
Then madame,
Il'd craue a farther leaue.

Lad.
Be it to licence,
If sha'not want an eare, Pru, Say, what is it?

Pru.
A toy I haue, to raise a little mirth,
To the designe in hand.

Lad.
Out with it Pru.
If it but chime of mirth.

Pru.
Mine host has, madame,
A pretty boy i'the house, a deinty child,
His sonne, and is o'your Ladiships name too, Frances,
Whom if your Ladiship would borrow of him,
And giue me leaue to dresse him, as I would,
Should make the finest Lady, and kins-woman,
To keepe you company, and deceiue my Lords,
Vpo'the matter, with a fountaine o'sport.

Lad.
I apprehend thee, and the source of mirth
That it may breed, but is he bold enough,
The child? and well assur'd?

Pru.
As I am, madame,
Haue him in no suspicion, more then me:
Here comes mine host: will you but please to aske him,
Or let me make the motion?

Lad.
Which thou wilt, Pru.

Scene 2.

Host.
Lady. Prudence. Franke.
Your Ladiship, and all your traine are welcome.

Lad.
I thank my hearty host.

Host.
so is your souerainty,
Madame, I wish you ioy o'your new gowne.

Lad.
It should ha'bin, my host, but Stuffe, our Taylor
Has broke with vs, you shall be o'the counsell.

Pru.
He will deserue it, madame, my Lady has heard
You haue a pretty sonne, mine host, she'ld see him.

Lad.
I very faine, I pr'y thee let me see him, host.

Host.
Your Ladiship shall presently,
Bid Franke come hither, anone, vnto my Lady,
It is a bashfull child, homely brought vp,
In a rude hostelry. But the light Heart
Is his fathers, and it may be his.
Here he comes. Frank salute my Lady.

Fra.
I doe.
What, madame, I am desin'd to doe, by my birth right,
As heire of the light Heart, bid you most welcome.

Lad.
And I beleeue your most my prettie boy,
Being so emphased, by you.

Fra.
Your Ladiship,
If you beleeue it such, are sure to make it.

Lad.
Pretily answer'd! Is your name Francis?

Fra.
Yes madame.

Lad.
I loue mine own the better.

Fra.
If I knew yours,
I should make haste to doe so too, good madame.

Lad.
It is the same with yours.

F.
Mine then acknowledgeth
The lustre it receiues, by being nam'd, after.

Lad.
You will win vpon me in complement.

Fra.
By silence.

Lad.
A modest, and a faire well spoken-child.

Hos.
Her Ladiship, shall haue him, soueraigne Pru,
Or what I haue beside: diuide my heart,
Betweene you and your Lady. Make your vse of it:
My house is yours, my sonne is yours. Behold,
I tender him to your seruice; Franke, become
What these braue Ladies would ha' you. Only this,
There is a chare-woman i'the house, his nurse,
An Irish woman, I tooke in, a beggar,
That waits vpon him; a poore silly foole,
But an impertinent, and sedulous one,
As euer was: will vexe you on all occasions,
Neuer be off, or from you, but in her sleepe;
Or drinke which makes it. She doth loue him so,
Or rather doate on him. Now, for her, a shape,
As we may dresse her (and I'le helpe) to fit her,
With a tuft-taffata cloake, an old French hood,
And other pieces, heterogene enough.

Pru.
We ha' brought a standard of apparrell, down,
Because this Taylor sayld vs i'the maine.

Hos.
She shall aduance the game.

Pru.
About it then.
And send but Trundle, hither, the coachman, to me:

Hos.
I shall: But Pru, let Louel ha'faire quarter.

Pru.
The best.

Lad.
Our Host (me thinks) is very gamesome.

Pru.
How like you the boy?

Lad.
A miracle!

Pru.
Good Madame
But take him in, and sort a sute for him,
Ile giue our Trundle his instructions;
And wayt vpon your Ladiship, i'the instant.

Lad.
But Pru, what shall we call him, when we ha'drest him?

Pr.
My Lady-No-body, Any thing what you wil.

Lad.
Call him Lætitia, by my sisters name,
And so t'will minde our mirth too, we haue in hand.

Scene. 3.

Prudence.
Trundle.
Good Trundle, you must straight make ready the Coach,
And lead the horses out but halfe a mile,
Into the fields, whether you will, and then
Driue in againe, with the Coach-leaues put downe,
At the backe gate, and so to the backe stayres,
As if you brought in some body, to my Lady,
A Kinswoman, that she sent for, Make that answer
If you be askd; and giue it out i'the house, so.

Tru.
What trick is this, good Mistrisse Secretary,
Youl'd put vpon vs?

Pru.
Vs? Do you speake plurall?

Tru.
Me and my Mares are vs.

Pru.
If you so ioyne 'hem.
Elegant Trundle, you may vse your figures.
I can but vrge, it is my Ladies seruice.

Tru.
Good Mistrisse Prudence, you can vrge inough.
I know you 'are Secretary to my Lady,
And Mistresse Steward.

Pru.
You'l still be trundling,
And ha' your wages stopt, now at the Audite.

Tru.
Tis true, you 'are Gentlewoman o' the horse too.
Or what you will beside, Pru, I do thinke it:
My best to'obey you.

Pru.
And I thinke so too, Trundle.

Scene. 4.

Beaufort.
Latimer. Host.
Why here's returne inough of both our venters,
If we doe make no more discouery.

Lat.
what?
Then o' this Parasite?

Bea.
O he's a deinty one.
The Parasite o'the house.

Lat.
here comes mine host.

Hos.
My Lords, you both are welcome to the Heart.

Bea.
To the light heart we hope.

Lat.
And mery I sweare.
We neuer yet felt such a fit of laughter,
As your glad heart hath offerd vs, sin' we entred.

Bea.
How came you by this propertie?

Hos.
who? my Fly?

Bea.
Your Fly if you call him so.

Hos.
nay, he is that.
And will be still.

Beau.
In euery dish and pot?

Hos.
In euery Cup, and company, my Lords,
A Creature of all liquors, all complexions,
Be the drinke what it will, hee'l haue his sip.

Lat.
He'is fitted with a name.

Hos.
And he ioyes in't:
I had him when I came to take the Inne, here,
Assign'd me ouer, in the Inuentory,
As an old implement, a peice of houshold-stuffe,
And so he doth remaine.

Bea.
Iust such a thing,
We thought him,

Lat.
Is he a scholler?

Hos.
Nothing lesse.
But colours for it, as you see: wear's black;
And speakes a little taynted, fly-blowne Latin,
After the Schoole.

Bea.
Of Stratford o' the Bow.
For Lillies Latine, is to him vnknown.

Lat.
What calling has' he?

Hos.
Only to call in, still.
Enflame the reckoning, bold to charge a bill,
Bring vp the shot i'the reare, as his owne word is,

Bea.
And do's it in the discipline of the house?
As Corporall o' the field, Maestro del Campo,

Hos.
And visiter generall, of all the roome,
He has' form'd a fine militia for the Inne too.

Bea.
And meanes to publish it?

Hos.
With all his titles.
Some call him Deacon Fly, some Doctor Fly.
Some Captaine, some Leiutenant, But my folkes
Doe call him Quarter-master, Fly, which he is.

Scene. 5.

Tipto.
Host. Flie. L. Bea. L. Lati.
Come Quarter-master Fly.

Hos.
Here's one, already,
Hath got his Titles.

Tip.
Doctor!

Fly.
Noble Colonel!
No Doctor, yet. A poore professor of ceremony,
Here i'the Inne, retainer to the host,
I discipline the house.

Tip.
Thou read'st a lecture.
Vnto the family here, when is the day?

Fli.
This is the day.

Tip.
I'le heare thee, and I'le ha'thee a Doctour,
Thou shalt be one, thou hast a Doctors looke!
A face disputatiue, of Salamanca.

Hos.
Who's this?

Lat.
The glorious Colonel Tipto, Host,

Bea.
One talkes vpon his tiptoes, if you'l heare him.

Tip.
Thou hast good learning in thee, macte Fly.

Fly.
And I say macte, to my Colonel.

Host.
Well macted of 'hem both.

Bea.
They are match'd i'faith.

Tip.
But Fly, why macte?

Fly.
Quasi magis anite,
My honourable Colonel.

Tip.
What a Critique?

Host.
There's another accession, Critique Fly.

Lat.
I feare a taynt here i'the Mathematiques.
They say, lines paralell doe neuer meet;
He has met his parallel in wit, and schole-craft.

Bea.
They side, not meet man, mend your metaphor,
And saue the credit of your Mathematiques:

Tip.
But Fly, how cam'st thou to be here, committed
Vnto this Inne?

Fly,
Vpon suspicion o'drinke, Sir,
I was taken late one night, here, with the Tapster,
And the vnder-officers, and so deposited.

Tip.
I will redeeme thee, Fly, and place thee better,
With a faire Lady.

Fly.
A Lady, sweet Sir Glorious!

Tip.
A Sou'raigne Lady. Thou shalt be the Bird
To Soueraigne Pru, Queene of our sports, her Fly,
The Fly in houshold, and in ordinary;
Bird of her eare, and she shall weare thee there!
A Fly of gold, enamel'd, and a schoole-Fly.

Host.
The schoole, then are my stables, or the cellar,
VVhere he doth study, deepely, at his houres,
Cases of cups, I doe not know how spic'd
VVith conscience, for the Tapster; and the Hostler: as
VVhose horses may be cossen'd? or what Iugs
Fil'd vp with froth? that is his way of learning.

Tip.
VVhat antiquated Fether's that, that talkes?

Fly.
The worshipfull host, my patron, Mr. Good-stock:
A merry Greke, and cants in Latine, comely,
Spins like the parish top.

Tip.
I'le set him vp, then.
Art thou the Dominus?

Host.
Fac-totum here, Sir.

Tip.
Host reall o'the house? and Cap of Maintenance?

Host.
The Lord o'the light Heart, Sir, Cap a pie;
VVhere of the Fether is the Embleme, Colonel,
Put vp, with the Ace of Hearts!

Tip.
But why in Cuerpo?
I hate to see an host, and old, in Cuerpo.

Host.
Cuerpo? what's that?

Tip.
Light, skipping hose and doublet.
The horse boyes garbe! poore blank, and halfe blank Cuerpo,
They relish not the grauity of an host,
VVho should be King at Armes, and ceremonies,
In his owne house! know all, to the goldweights.

Bea.
VVhy that his Fly doth for him here, your Bird.

Tip.
But I would doe it my selfe, were I my Host,
I would not speake vnto a Cooke of quality,
Your Lordships footman, or my Ladies Trundle,
In Cuerpo! If a Dog but stay'd below
That were a dog of fashion, and well nos'd,
And could present himselfe; I would put on
The Savoy chaine about my neck; the ruffe;
And cuffes of Flanders; then the Naples hat;
VVith the Rome hatband; and the Florentine Agate;
The Millan sword; the cloake of Genoa; set
With Brabant buttons; all my giuen pieces:
Except my gloues, the natiues of Madrid,
To entertaine him in! and complement
With a tame cony, as with a Prince that sent it.

Hos.
The same deeds, though, become not euery man,
That fits a Colonel, will not fit an host,

Tip.
Your Spanish host is neuer seen in Cuerpo,
Without his Paramento's cloake, & sword.

Fli.
Sir he has the father
Of swords, within a long sword; Blade cornish stil'd
Of Sir Rud Hughdibras.

Tip.
And with a long sword, bully bird? thy sence?

Fli.
To note him a tall-man, and a Master of fence:

Tip.
But doth he teach the Spanish way of Don Lewis?

Fli.
No, the Greeke Master he.

Tip.
what cal you him?

Fli.
Euclide.

Tip.
Fart vpon Euclide, he is stale, & antique,
Gi'me the modernes.

Fli.
Sir he minds no modernes,
Go by, Hieronymo!

Tip.
What was he?

Fli.
The Italian,
That plaid with Abbot Antony, i'the Friars,
And Blinkin-sops the bold.

Tip.
I mary, those,
Had fencing names, what's become o'them?

Hos.
They had their times, and we can say, they were.
So had Caranza-his: so had Don Lewis.

Tip.
Don Lewis of Madrid, is the sole Master
Now, of the world.

Hos.
But this, o'the other world
Euclide demonstrates! he! Hee's for all!
The only fencer of name, now in Elysium.

Fli.
He do's it all, by lines, and angles, Colonel.
By parallels, and sections, has his Diagrammes!

Bea.
Wilt thou be flying, Fly?

Lat.
At all, why not?
The ayre's as free for a fly, as for an Eagle.

Bea
A Buzzard! he is in his contemplation!

Tip.
Euclide a fencer, and in the Elysium!

Hos.
He play'd a prize, last weeke, with Archimedes,
And beate him I assure you.

Tip.
Doe you assure me?
For what?

Hos.
For foure i'the hundred. Gi'me fiue,
And I assure you, againe.

Tip.
Host, Peremptory,
You may be tane, But where? whence had you this?

Hos.
Vpo' the road, A post, that came from thence,
Three dayes agoe, here, left it with the Tapster.

Fli.
Who is indeede a thorough fare of newes,
Iack Iug with the broken belly, a witty fellow!

Hos.
Your Bird here heard him.

Tip.
Did you heare him Bird?

Hos.
Speake i'the faith of a flie.

Fli.
Yes, and he told vs,
Of one that was the Prince of Oranges fencer,

Tip.
Steuinus?

Fli.
Sir the same, had challeng'd Euclide
A thirty weapons more then Archimedes
Ere saw; and engines: most of his owne Inuention:

Tip.
This may haue credit, and chimes reason, this!
If any man endanger Euclide, Bird,
Obserue, that had the honor to quit Europe
This forty yeare, tis he. He put downe Scaliger.

Fli.
And he was a great Master.

Bea.
Not of fence, Fly.

Tip.
Excuse him, Lord, he went o'the same grounds.

Bea.
On the same earth I thinke, with other Mortals?

Tip.
I meane, sweete Lord, the Mathematiques. Basta!
When thou know'st more, thou wilt take lesse, greene honor.
He had his circles, semicircles, quadrants—

Fli.
He writ a booke o' the quadrature o'the Circle,

Tip.
Cyclometria, I read—

Bea.
The title onely.

Lat.
And Indice.

Bea.
If it had one of that quare
What insolent, halfe-witted things, these are?

Lat.
So are all smatterers, insolent, and impudent.

Bea.
They lightly go together.

Lat.
T'is my wonder!
Two animals should hawke at all discourse thus!
Flie euery subiect to the Marke, or retriue—

Bea.
And neuer ha' the lucke to be i'the right!

Lat.
T'is some folkes fortune!

Bea.
Fortune's a Bawd,
And a blind Begger: 'tis their vanity!
And shewes most vilely!

Tip.
I could take the heart now.
To write vnto Don Lewis, into Spaine,
To make a progresse to the Elysian fields,
Next summer—

Bea.
And perswade him die for fame,
Of fencing with a shadow! Where's mine Host?
I would he had heard this buble breake, i'fayth.

Scene 6.

Host.
Tipto. Prudence. Beaufort. Latimer. Franke. Nurse. Lady. Flie. Lovel.
Make place, stand by, for the Queene Regent, Gentlemen.

Tip.
This is thy Queen, that shalbe, Bird, our Soueraign.

Bea.
Translated Prudence!

Pru.
Sweet my Lord, hand off;
It is not now, as when plaine Prudence liu'd,
And reach'd her Ladiship—

Host.
The Chamber-pot.

Pru.
The looking-glasse, mine Host, loose your house
You' haue a negligent memory, indeed;
Speake the host's language. Here's a yong Lord, Metaphore
Will make't a precedent else.

Lat.
Well acted Pru.

Host.
First minute of her raigne! what will she doe
Forty yeare hence? God blesse her!

Pru.
If you'll kisse,
Or complement, my Lord, behold a Lady,
A stranger, and my Ladyes kinswoman.

Bea.
I doe confesse my rudenesse, that had need
To haue mine eye directed to this beauty.

Fra.
It was so little, as it ask'd a perspicill.

Bea.
Lady, your name?

Fra.
My Lord, it is Lætitia.

Bea.
Lætitia! a faire omen! And I take it.
Let me haue still such Lettice for my lips:
But that o' your family, Lady?

Fra.
Silly, Sir.

Bea.
My Ladyes kinswoman?

Fra.
I am so honour'd.

Host.
Already, it takes!

Lad.
An excellent fine boy.

Nur.
He is descended of a right good stock, Sir.

Bea.
What's this? an Antiquary?

Host.
An Antiquity,
By th'dresse, you'ld sweare! An old Welsh Heralds widdow:
She's a wild-Irish borne! Sir, and a Hybride,
That liues with this yong Lady, a mile off here,
And studies Vincent against Yorke.

Bea.
She'l conquer,
If she read Vincent. Let me study her.

Host.
She's perfect in most pedigrees, most descents.

Bea.
A Baud, I hope, and knowes to blaze a coate.

Host.
And iudgeth all things with a single eye,
Fly, come you hither; No discouery
Of what you see, to your Colonel Toe, or Tip, here,
But keepe all close, tho'you stand i'the way o'preferment,
Seeke it, off from the roade; no flattery for't:
No lick-foote, paine of loosing your proboscis:
My Licorish Fly.

Tip.
What sayes old veluet-head?

Fli.
He will present me himselfe, Sir, if you will not.

Tip.
Who? he present? what? whom? An Host? A Groome?
Diuide the thanks with me? share in my glories?
Lay vp. I say no more.

Hos.
Then silence Sir,
And heare the sou'raigne.

Tip.
Hostlers? to vsurpe
Vpon my Sparta' or Prouince, as they say?
No broome but mine?

Hos.
Still Colonel, you mutter!

Tip.
I dare speake out, as Cuerpo.

Fli.
Noble Colonel.

Tip.
And carry what I aske—

Hos.
Ask what you can Sr:
So't be i'the house.

Tip.
I ask my rights & priuiledges,
And though for forme I please to cal't a suit,
I haue not beene accustomed to repulse.

Pru.
No sweet Sir Glorious, you may still command.

Hos.
And go without.

Pru.
But yet Sir being the first,
And call'd a suit, you'll looke it shall be such
As we may grant.

Lad.
It else denies it selfe.

Pru.
You heare the opinion of the Court.

Tip.
I mind
No Court opinions.

Pru.
T'is my Ladies, though.

Tip.
My Lady is a Spinster, at the Law,
And my petition is of right.

Pru.
What is it?

Tip.
It is for this poore learned bird.

Hos.
The Fly?

Tip.
Professour in the Inne, here, of small matters:

Lat.
How he commends him!

Hos.
As, to saue himselfe in him.

Lad.
So do all Politiques in their commendations.

Hos.
This is a State-bird, and the verier flie?

Tip.
Heare him problematize.

Pr.
Blesse vs, what's that?

Tip.
Or syllogize, elenchize.

Lad.
Sure, petard's,
To blow vs vp.

Lat.
Some inginous strong words!

Hos.
He meanes to erect a castle i'the ayre,
And make his flie an Elephant to carry it.

Tip.
Bird of the Arts he is, and Fly by name!

Pru., Buz., Hos.
Blow him off good Pru, they'l mar all else.

Tip.
The Soueraigne's honor is to cherish learning.

Pru.
What in a Fly?

Tip.
In any thing industrious.

Pr.
But Flies are busie!

Lad.
Nothing more troublesom,
Or importune!

Tip.
Ther's nothing more domestick,
Tame, or familiar then your Flie in Cuerpo.

Hos.
That is when his wings are cut, he is tame indeed, else
Nothing more impudent, and greedy; licking:

Lad.
Or sawcy, good Sir Glorious.

Pr.
Leaue your Aduocate-ship
Except that we shall call you Orator Flie,
And send you downe to the dresser, and the dishes.

Hos.
A good flap, that!

Pru.
Commit you to the steem!

Lad.
Or els condemn you to the bottles.

Pr.
And pots.
There is his quarry.

Hos.
He will chirp, far better,
Your bird, below.

Lad.
And make you finer Musique.

Pru.
His buz will there become him.

Tip.
Come away.
Buz, in their faces: Giue 'hem all the Buz,
Dor in their eares, and eyes, Hums, Dor, and Buz!
I will statuminate and vnder prop thee.
If they scorne vs, let vs scorne them—Wee'll finde
The thorough-fare below, and Quære him,
Leaue these relicts, Buz; they shall see that I,
Spight of their jeares, dare drinke, and with a Flie.

Lat.
A faire remoue at once, of two impertinents!
Excellent Pru! I loue thee for thy wit,
No lesse then State.

Pru.
One must preserue the other.

Lad.
Who's here?

Pru.
O Lovel, Madam, your sad seruant.

Lad.
Sad? he is sollen still, and weares a cloud
About his browes; I know not how to approach him.

Pru.
I will instruct you, madame, if that be all,
Goe to him and kisse him.

Lad.
How, Pru?

Pru.
Goe, and kisse him,
I doe command it.

Lad.
Th'art not wilde, wench!

Pru.
No,
Tame, and exceeding tame, but still your Sou'raigne.

Lad.
Hath too much brauery made thee mad?

Pru.
Nor proud.
Doe, what I doe enioyne you. No disputing
Of my prerogatiue, with a front, or frowne;
Doe not detrect: you know th'authority
Is mine, and I will exercise it, swiftly,
If you prouoke me.

Lad.
I haue wouen a net
To snare my selfe in! Sir I am enioyn'd
To tender you a kisse; but doe not know
Why, or wherefore, onely the pleasure royall
Will haue it so, and vrges—Doe not you
Triumph on my obedience, seeing it forc't thus.
There 'tis.

Lov.
And welcome. Was there euer kisse
That relish'd thus! or had a sting like this,
Of so much Nectar, but, with Aloës mixt.

Pru.
No murmuring, nor repining, I am fixt.

Lov.
It had, me thinks, a quintessence of either,
But that which was the better, drown'd the bitter.
How soone it pass'd away! how vnrecouered!
The distillation of another soule
Was not so sweet! and till I meet againe,
That kisse, those lips, like relish, and this taste,
Let me turne all, consumption, and, here waste.

Pru.
The royall assent is past, and cannot alter.

Lad.
You'l turne a Tyran.

Pru.
Be not you a Rebell,
It is a name is alike-odious.

Lad.
You'l heare me?

Pru.
No, not o'this argument.
Would you make lawes, and be the first that break 'hem?
The example is pernicious in a subiect,
And of your quality, most.

Lat.
Excellent Princesse!

Host.
Iust Queene!

Lat.
Braue Sou'raigne.

Host
A she-Traian! this!

Bea.
What is't? Proceede incomparable Pru!
I am glad I am scarce at leasure to applaud thee.

Lat.
Its well for you, you haue so happy expressions.

Lad.
Yes, cry her vp, with acclamations, doe,
And cry me downe, runne all with soueraignty:
Prince Power will neuer want her Parasites.

Pru.
Nor Murmure her pretences: Master Lovel,
For so your libell here, or bill of complaint,
Exhibited, in our high Court of Sou'raignty,
At this first hower of our raigne, declares
Against this noble Lady, a dis-respect
You haue conceiu'd, if not receiu'd, from her.

Host.
Receiued, so the charge lies in our bill.

Pru.
We see it, his learned Councell, leaue your planing,
We that doe loue our iustice, aboue all
Our other Attributes; and haue the nearnesse,
To know your extraordinary merit;
As also to discerne this Ladyes goodnesse;
And finde how loth shee'd be, to lose the honour,
And reputation, she hath had, in hauing
So worthy a seruant, though but for few minutes.
Do here enioyne.

Hos.
Good!

Pru.
Charge, will, & command
Her Ladiship, pain of our high displeasure
And the committing an extreame contempt,
Vnto the Court, our crowne and dignity.

Host.
Excellent Soueraigne! And egregious Pru!

Pru.
To entertaine you for a payre of howres,
(Choose, when you please, this day) with all respects,
And valuation of a principall seruant,
To giue you all the titles, all the priuiledges,
The freedomes, fauours, rights, she can bestow.

Hos.
Large, ample words, of a braue latitude!

Pru.
Or can be expected, from a Lady of honor,
Or quality, in discourse, accesse, addresse.

Hos.
Good.

Pru.
Not to giue eare, or admit conference
With any person but your selfe. Nor there,
Of any other argument, but loue,
And the companion of it, gentile courtship.
For which your two howres seruice, you shall take
Two kisses.

Hos.
Noble!

Pru.
For each howre, a kisse,
To be tane freely, fully, and legally;
Before vs; in the Court here, & our presence.

Hos.
Rare!

Pru.
But those howres past, and the two kisses paid,
The binding caution is, neuer to hope
Renewing of the time, or of the suit,
On any circumstance.

Hos.
A hard condition!

Lat.
Had it beene easier, I should haue suspected
The sou'raignes iustice.

Hos.
O you are seruant,
My Lord, vnto the Lady, and a Riuall:
In point of law, my Lord, you may be challeng'd.

Lat.
I am not iealous!

Host.
Of so short a time
Your Lordship needs not, and being done, in foro.

Pru.
What is the answer?

Host.
He craues respite, madame,
To aduise with his learned Councell.

Pru.
Be you he,
And goe together quickly.

Lad.
You are, no Tyran?

Pru.
If I be madam, you were best appeale me!

Lat.
Beaufort—

Bea.
I am busie, pr'y thee let me alone:
I haue a cause in hearing too.

Lat.
At what Barre?

Bea.
Lou's Court o'Requests!

Lat.
Bring't into the Souerainty:
It is the nobler Court, afore Iudge Pru,
The only learned mother of the Law!
And Lady o' conscience, too!

Bea.
'Tis well enough
Before this mistresse of Requests, where it is.

Host.
Let 'hem not scorne you. Beare vp master Lovel,
And take your howres, and kisses, They are a fortune.

Lov.
Which I cannot approue, and lesse make vse of:

Host.
Still i'this cloud! why cannot you make vse of?

Lov.
Who would be rich to be so soone vndone?
The beggars best is wealth, he doth not know:
And, but to shew it him, in flames his want:

Host.
Two howers at height?

Lov.
That ioy is too too narrow,
Would bound a loue, so infinite as mine:
And being past, leaues an eternall losse.
Who so prodigiously affects a feast,
To forfeit health, and appetite, to see it?
Or but to taste a spoone-full, would forgoe
All gust of delicacy euer after?

Host.
These, yet, are houres of hope.

Lov.
But all houres following
Yeares of despaire, ages of misery!
Nor can so short a happinesse, but spring
A world of feare, with thought of loosing it;
Better be neuer happy, then to feele
A litre of it, and then loose it euer.

Host.
I doe confesse, it is a strict iniunction;
But, then the hope is, it may not be kept.
A thousand things may interuene, We see
The winde shift often, thrice a day, sometimes;
Decrees may alter vpon better motion,
And riper hearing. The best bow may start,
And th'hand may vary. Pru may be a sage
In Law, and yet not soure, sweet Pru, smooth Pru,
Soft, debonaire, and amiable Pru,
May doe as well as rough, and rigid Pru;
And yet maintayne her, venerable Pru,
Maiestique Pru, and Serenissimous Pru.
Trie but one hower first, and as you like
The loose o'that, Draw home and prove the other.

Lov.
If one howre could, the other happy make,
I should attempt it.

Hos.
Put it on: and doe.

Lov.
Or in the blest attempt that I might die!

Hos.
I mary, there were happinesse indeed;
Transcendent to the Melancholy, meant.
It were a fate, aboue a monument,
And all inscription, to die so. A Death
For Emperours to enioy! And the Kings
Of the rich East, to pawne their regions for;
To sow their treasure, open all their mines,
Spend all their spices to embalme their corps,
And wrap the inches vp in sheets of gold,
That fell by such a noble destiny!
And for the wrong to your friend, that feare's away,
He rather wrongs himselfe, following fresh light,
New eies to sweare by. If Lord Beaufort change,
It is no crime in you to remaine constant.
And vpon these conditions, at a game
So vrg'd vpon you.

Pru.
Sir your resolution—

Hos.
How is the Lady affected?

Pru.
Sou'raignes vse not
To aske their subiects suffrage where 'tis due;
But where conditionall.

Host.
A royall Sou'raigne!

Lat.
And a rare States-woman. I admire her bearing
In her new regiment.

Host.
Come choose your houres,
Better be happy for a part of time,
Then not the whole: and a short part, then neuer.
Shall I appoint 'hem, pronounce for you?

Lov.
Your pleasure.

Host.
Then he designes his first houre after dinner;
His second after supper. Say yee? Content?

Pru.
Content.

Lad.
I am content.

Lat.
Content.

Fra.
Content.

Bea.
What's that? I am content too.

Lat.
You haue reason,
You had it on the by, and we obseru'd it.

Nur.
Trot I am not content: in fait' I am not.

Host.
Why art not thou content, Good shelee-nien?

Nur.
He tauk so desperate, and so debausht,
So baudy like a Courtier, and a Lord,
God blesse him, one that tak'th Tobacco.

Host.
Very well mixt.
What did he say?

Nur.
Nay, nothing to the purposh,
Or very little, nothing at all to purposh.

Host.
Let him alone Nurse.

Nur.
I did tell him of Serly
Was a great family come out of Ireland,
Descended of O Neale; Mac Con, Mac Dermot,
Mac Murrogh, but he mark'd not.

Host.
Nor doe I,
Good Queene of Heralds, ply the bottle, and sleepe.