University of Virginia Library

Scene 5.

Host.
Ferret. Louel.
My Ghest, my Ghest, be Iouiall, I beseech thee.
I' haue fresh golden ghests, ghests o'the game:
Three coach-full! Lords! and Ladies! new come in.
And I will cry them to thee, 'and thee, to them,
So I can spring a smile, but i'this brow,
That like the rugged Roman Alderman,—
Old master Grosse, surnam'd Αγελαστος.
Ent. Ferret.
Was neuer seene to laugh, but at an Asse.

Fer.
Sir here's the Lady Frampul.

Lou.
How!

Fer.
And her train.
Lord Beaufort, & Lord Latimer, the Coronel
Tipto', with Mistris Cis, the Chamber-mayd:
Trundle, the Coachman—

Lou.
Stop, discharge the house:
And get my horses ready, bid the Groome
Bring 'hem to the back gate.

Hos.
What meane you Sir?

Lou.
To take faire leaue, mine Host.

Hos.
I hope, my Ghest,
Though I haue talked somwhat aboue my share,
At large, and bene i'the altitudes, th'extrauagants,
Neither my selfe, nor any of mine haue gi'n you
The cause, to quit my house, thus, on the sodaine.

Lou.
No, I affirme it, on my faith. Excuse me,
From such a rudenes; I was now beginning
To tast, and loue you: and am heartily sory,
Any occasion should be so compelling,
To vrge my abrupt departure, thus. But—
Necessity's a Tyran, and commands it.

Hos.
She shall command me first to fire my bush;
Then breake vp house: Or, if that will not serue,
To breake with all the world. Turne country bankrupt.
I' mine owne towne, vpo'the Mercat-day,
And be protested, for my butter, and egges,
To the last bodge of oates, and bottle of hay;
Ere you shall leaue me, I will breake my heart:
Coach, and Coach-horses, Lords, and Ladies pack?
All my fresh ghests shall stinke! I'le pul my signe, down
Conuert mine Inne, to an Almes-house! or a Spittle,
For lazers, or switch-sellers! Turne it, to
An Academy o'rogues! or gi'it away,
For a free-schoole, to breed vp beggers in,
And send 'hem to the canting Vniuersities
Before you leaue me.

Lov.
Troth, and I confesse,
I am loath, mine host, to leaue you: your expressions
Both take, and hold me. But, in case I stay,
I must enioyne you and your whole family
To priuacy, and to conceale me. For,
The secret is, I would not willingly,
See, or beseene, to any of this ging,
Especially, the Lady.

Hos.
Braine o'man,
What monster is she? or Cocatrice in veluet,
That kils thus?

Lov.
O good words, mine host. She is
A noble Lady! great in blood! and fortune!
Faire! and a wit! but of so bent a phant'sie,
As she thinks nought a happinesse, but to haue
A multitude of seruants! and, to get them,
(Though she be very honest) yet she venters
Vpon these precipices, that would make her
Not seeme so, to some prying, narrow natures.
We call her, Sir, the Lady Frances Frampul,
Daughter and heire to the Lord Frampul.

Hos.
Who?
He that did loue in Oxford, first, a student,
And, after, married with the daughter of—

Lo.
Silly.

Hos.
Right, of whom the tale went, to turne Puppet-mr.

Lov.
And trauell with Yong Goose, the Motion-man.

Hos.
And lie, and liue with the Gipsies halfe a yeare
Together, from his wife.

Lo.
The very same:
The mad Lord Frampul! And this same is his daughter!
But as cock-brain'd as ere the father was!
There were two of 'hem, Frances and Lætitiæ;
But Lætice was lost yong; and, as the rumor
Flew then, the mother vpon it lost her selfe.
A fond weake woman, went away in a melancholy,
Because she brought him none but girles, she thought
Her husband lou'd her not. And he, as foolish,
Too late resenting the cause giu'n, went after,
In quest of her, and was not heard of since.

Hos.
A strange diuision of a familie!

Lov.
And scattered, as i'the great confusion!

Hos.
But yet the Lady, th'heire, enioyes the land.

Lov.
And takes all lordly wayes how to consume it
As nobly as she can; if cloathes, and feasting,
And the authoriz'd meanes of riot will doe it.

Ent. Fer.
Host.
She shewes her extract, and I honor her for it.