University of Virginia Library

Scene. V.

Peniboy.
Cymbal. Fitton. Tho: Barber. Canter.
In troth they are dainty roomes; what place is this?

Cym.
This is the outer roome, where my Clerkes sit,
And keepe their sides, the Register i'the midst,
The Examiner, he sits priuate there, within,
And here I haue my seuerall Rowles, and Fyles
Of Newes by the Alphabet, and all put vp
Vnder their heads.

P. Iv.
But those, too, subdiuided?

Cym.
Into Authenticall, and Apocryphall.

Fit.
Or Newes of doubtfull credit, as Barbers newes.

Cym.
And Taylors Newes, Porters, and Watermens newes,

Fit.
Whereto, beside the Coranti, and Gazetti.

Cym.
I haue the Newes of the season.

Fit.
As vacation Newes,
Terme-newes, and Christmas-newes.

Cim.
And newes o' the faction,

Fit.
As the Reformed newes, Protestant newes,

Cym.
And Pontificiall newes, of all which seuerall,
The Day-bookes, Characters, Precedents are kept.
Together with the names of special friends—

Fit.
And men of Correspondence i'the Countrey—

Cym.
Yes, of all ranks, and all Religions.—

Fit.
Factors, and Agents—

Cym.
Liegers, that lie out
Through all the Shires o'the kingdome.

P. Iv.
This is fine!
And beares a braue relation! but what sayes
Mercurius Britannicus to this?

Cym.
O Sir, he gaines by't halfe in halfe.

Fit.
Nay more
I'll stand to't. For, where he was wont to get
In, hungry Captaines, obscure Statesmen.

Cym.
Fellowes
To drinke with him in a darke roome in a Tauerne,
And eat a Sawsage.

Fit.
We ha' seen't,

Cym.
As faine,
To keepe so many politique pennes
Going, to feed the presse.

Fit.
And dish out newes,
Were't true, or false.

Cym.
Now all that charge is sau'd
The publique Chronicler.

Fit.
How, doe you call him there?

Cym.
And gentle Reader.

Fit.
He that has the maidenhead
Of all the bookes.

Cym.
Yes, dedicated to him,

Fit.
Or rather prostituted.

P. Iv.
You are right, Sir.

Cym.
No more shall be abus'd, nor countrey-Parsons
O' the Inquisition, nor busie Iustices,
Trouble the peace, and both torment themselues,
And their poore ign'rant Neighbours with enquiries
After the many, and most innocent Monsters,
That neuer came i'th' Counties they were charg'd with.

P. Iv.
Why, me thinkes Sir, if the honest common people
Will be abus'd, why should not they ha' their pleasure,
In the belieuing Lyes, are made for them;
As you i'th' Office, making them your selves?

Fit.
O Sir! it is the printing we oppose.

Cym.
We not forbid that any Newes, be made,
But that't be printed; for when Newes is printed,
It leaues Sir to be Newes. while 'tis but written—

Fit.
Though it be ne're so false, it runnes Newes still.

P. Iv.
See diuers mens opinions! vnto some,
The very printing of them, makes them Newes;
That ha' not the heart to beleeue any thing,
But what they see in print.

Fit.
I, that's an Error
Ha's abus'd many; but we shall reforme it,
As many things beside (we haue a hope)
Are crept among the popular abuses.

Cym.
Nor shall the Stationer cheat vpon the Time,
By buttering ouer againe—

Fit.
once, in Seuen Yeares,
As the age doates—

Cym.
And growes forgetfull o' them,
His antiquated Pamphlets, with new dates.
But all shall come from the Mint.

Fit.
Fresh and new stamp'd,

Cym.
With the Office-Seale, Staple Commoditie.

Fit.
And if a man will assure his Newes, he may:
Two-pence a Sheet he shall be warranted,
And haue a policie for't.

P. Iv.
Sir, I admire
The method o'your place; all things within't
Are so digested, fitted, and compos'd,
As it shewes Wit had married Order.

Fit.
Sir.

Cym.
The best wee could to inuite the Times.

Fit.
It ha's
Cost sweat, and freesing.

Cym.
And some broken sleepes
Before it came to this.

P. Iv.
I easily thinke it.

Fit.
But now it ha's the shape—

Cym.
And is come forth.

P. Iv.
A most polite neat thing! with all the limbs,
As sense can tast!

Cym.
It is Sir, though I say it,
As well-begotten a busines, and as fairely
Helpt to the World.

P. Iv.
You must be a Mid-wife Sir!
Or els the sonne of a Mid-wife! (pray you pardon me)
Haue helpt it forth so happily! what Newes ha' you?
Newes o' this morning? I would faine heare some
Fresh, from the forge (as new as day, as they say.)

Cym.
And such he haue Sir.

Reg.
Shew him the last Rowle,
Of Emissary West-minster's, The Heire.

P. Iv.
Come nearer, Thom:

Cla.
There is a braue yong Heire
Peny reioyceth, that he is in.
Is come of age this morning, Mr. Peny-boy.

P. Iv.
That's I!

Cla.
His Father dy'd on this day seuenth-night.

P. Iv.
True!

Cla.
At sixe o'the Clocke i'the morning, iust a weeke
Tels Thom: of it.
Ere he was One and Twenty.

P. Iv.
I am here, Thom!
Proceed, I pray thee.

Cla.
An old Canting Begger
Brought him first Newes, whom he has entertain'd,
Call in the Canter. Hee giues the Clarke.
To follow him, since.

P. Iv.
Why, you shall see him! Founder,
Come in; no Follower, but Companion,
I pray thee put him in, Friend. There's an Angell—
Thou do'st not know, hee's a wise old Fellow,
Though he seeme patch'd thus, and made vp o' peeces.
Founder, we are in, here, in, i'the Newes-Office!
In this dayes Rowle, already! I doe muse
How you came by vs Sir's!

Cym.
One Master Pick-locke
A Lawyer, that hath purchas'd here a place,
This morning, of an Emissary vnder me.

Fit.
Emissarie Westminster.

Cym.
Gaue it into th'Office,

Fit.
For his Essay, his peece.

P. Iv.
My man o' Law!
Hee's my Attorney, and Sollicitour too!
A fine pragmaticke! what's his place worth?

Cym.
A Nemo-scit, Sir.

Fit.
'Tis as Newes come, in,

Cym.
And as they are issued. I haue the iust meoytie
For my part: then the other moeytie
Is parted into seuen. The foure Emissaries;
Whereof my Cozen Fitton here's for Court,
Ambler for Pauls, and Buz for the Exchange,
Picklocke, for Westminster, with the Examiner,
And Register, they haue full parts: and then one part
Is vnder-parted to a couple of Clarkes;
And there's the iust diuision of the profits!

P. Iv.
Ha' you those Clarks Sir.

Cym.
There is one Desk empty,
But it has many Suitors.

P. Iv.
Sir, may I
Present one more and carry it, if his parts
Or Gifts, (which you will, call 'hem)

Cym.
Be sufficient Sir.

P. Iv.
What are your present Clarkes habilities?
How is he qualified?

Cym.
A decay'd Stationer
He was, but knowes Newes well, can sort and ranke 'hem.

Fit.
And for a need can make 'hem.

Cym.
True Paules bred,
I'the Church-yard.

P. Iv.
And this at the West-dore,
O'th other side, hee's my Barber Thom,
A pretty Scholler, and a Master of Arts,
Was made, or went out Master of Arts in a throng,
At the Vniuersitie; as before, one Christmas,
He got into a Masque at Court, by his wit,
And the good meanes of his Cythern, holding vp thus
For one o'the Musique, Hee's a nimble Fellow?
And alike skil'd in euery liberall Science,
As hauing certaine snaps of all, a neat,
Quick-vaine, in forging Newes too. I doe loue him,
And promis'd him a good turne, and I would doe it.
Whats your price? the value?

Cym.
Fifty pounds, Sr.

P. Iv.
Get in Thom, take possession, I install thee;
Here, tell your money; giue thee ioy, good Thom;
Hee buyes Thom a Clerkes place.
And let me heare from thee euery minute of Newes,
While the New Staple stands, or the Office lasts,
Which I doe wish, may ne're be lesse for thy sake.

Cla.
The Emissaries, Sir, would speake with you,
And Master Fitton, they haue brought in Newes,
Three Bale together.

Cym.
Sr, you are welcome, here.

They take leaue of Peny-boy, and Canter.
Fit.
So is your creature.

Cym.
Businesse calls vs off, Sir,
That may concerne the Office.

P. Iv.
Keepe me faire, Sir,
Still i'your Staple, I am here your friend,
On the same flooer.

Fit.
We shall be your seruants.

P. Iv.
How dost thou like it, Founder?

P. Ca.
All is well,
But that your man o' law me thinks appeares not
In his due time. O! Here comes Masters worship.