University of Virginia Library

Scene X.

Lady Preamble before her. Tub. Turfe. D. Turfe. Pol.-marten, Awdrey. Puppy. Wispe. Hugh. Clay. All take their Seats. Hilts waits on the by.
Lad.
Neighbours, all welcome: Now doth Totten-Hall
Shew like a Court: and hence shall first be call'd so.
Your witty short confession Mr. Vicar,
Within hath beene the Prologue, and hath open'd
Much to my sonnes device, his Tale of a Tub.

Tub.
Let my Masque shew it selfe: And In-and-In,
The Architect, appeare: I heare the whistle.

Hil.
Peace.

Med.
Thus rise I first, in my light linnen breeches,
To run the meaning over in short speeches.
Medley appeares above the Curtain.
Here is a Tub; A Tub of Totten-Court:
An ancient Tub, hath call'd you to this sport:
His Father was a Knight, the rich Sir Peeter;
Who got his wealth by a Tub, and by Salt-Peeter:
And left all to his Lady Tub; the mother
Of this bold Squire Tub and to no other.
Now of this Tub, and's deeds, not done in ale,
Observe, and you shall see the very Tale.

He drawes the Curtain, and discovers the top of the Tub.
Hil.
Ha' Peace.

Loud Musick.

The first Motion.

Med.
Here Chanon Hugh, first brings to Totten-Hall
The high Constables councell, tels the Squire all;
Which, though discover'd (give the Divell his due:)
The wise of Finsbury doe still pursue.
Then with the Justice, doth he counterplot,
And his Clarke Metaphore, to cut that knot:
Whilst Lady Tub, in her sad velvet Gowne,
Missing her sonne, doth seeke him up and downe.

Tub.
With her Pol-marten bare before her.

Med.
Yes,
I have exprest it here in figure, and Mis-
tris Wispe her woman, holding up her traine.

Tub.
I' the next page, report your second straine.

The second Motion.

Hil.
Ha' Peace.
Loud Musick.

Med.
Here the high Constable, and Sages walke
To Church, the Dame, the Daughter, Bride-maids talke,
Of wedding busines; till a fellow in comes,
Relates the robbery of one Captaine Thum's:
Chargeth the Bride-groome with it: Troubles all,
And gets the Bride; who in the hands doth fall
Of the bold Squire, but thence soone is tane
By the sly Justice, and his Clarke profane
In shape of Pursuyvant; which he not long
Holds, but betrayes all with his trembling tongue:
As truth will breake out, and shew, &c.

Tub.
O thou hast made him kneele there in a corner,
I see now: there is simple honour for you Hilts!

Hil.
Did I not make him to confesse all to you?

Tub.
True; In-and-In hath done you right, you see.
Thy third I pray thee, witty In-and-In.

Cle.
The Squire commends 'un. He doth like all well.

Pan.
Hee cannot choose. This is geare made to sell.

The third Motion.

Hil.
Ha' peace.

Loud musick.
Med.
The carefull Constable, here drooping comes,
In his deluded search, of Captaine Thum's.
Puppy brings word, his Daughter's run away.
With the tall Serving-man. He frights Groome Clay,
Out of his wits. Returneth then the Squire,
Mocks all their paines, and gives Fame out a Lyar:
For falsely charging Clay, when 'twas the plot,
Of subtile Bramble, who had Awdrey got,
Into his hand, by this winding device.
The Father makes a reskue in a trice:
And with his Daughter, like Saint George on foot,
Comes home triumphing, to his deare Hart root.
And tell's the Lady Tub, whom he meets there,
Of her sonnes courtesies, the Batchelor.
Whose words had made 'hem fall the Huy and Cry.
When Captaine Thum's comming to aske him, why
He had so done? He cannot yeeld him cause:
But so he runs his neck into the Lawes.

The fourth Motion.

Hil.
Ha' Peace.

Loud Musick.
Med.
The Lawes, who have a noose to crack his neck,
As Justice Bramble tels him, who doth peck
A hundreth pound out of his purse, that comes
Like his teeth from him, unto Captaine Thum's.
Thum's is the Vicar in a false disguise:
And employes Metaphore, to fetch this prize.
Who tels the secret unto Basket-Hilts,
For feare of beating. This the Squire quilts
Within his Cap; and bids him but purloine
The wench for him: they two shall share the coine.
Which the sage Lady in her 'foresaid Gowne
Breaks off, returning unto Kentish-Towne,
To seeke her Wispe; taking the Squire along,
Who finds Clay Iohn, as hidden in straw throng.

Hil.
O, how am I beholden to the Inventer,
That would not, on record against me enter!
My slacknesse here, to enter in the barne,
Well In-and-In, I see thou canst discerne!

Tub.
On with your last, and come to a Conclusion.

The fift Motion.

Hil.
Ha' peace.

Loud Musicke.
Med.
The last is knowne, and needs but small infusion
Into your memories, by leaving in
These Figures as you sit. I, In-and-In,
Present you with the show: First of a Lady
Tub, and her sonne, of whom this Masque here, made I.
Then Bride-groome Pol, and Mistris Pol the Bride:
With the sub-couple, who sit them beside.

Tub.
That onely verse, I alter'd for the better, ευφονια gratia.

Med.
Then Justice Bramble, with Sir Hugh the Chanon:
And the Bride's Parents, which I will not stan' on,
Or the lost Clay, with the recovered Giles:
Who thus unto his Master, him 'conciles,
On the Squires word, to pay old Turfe his Club,
And so doth end our Tale, here, of a Tub.