 | A Game at Chaess |  |
Incipit Quintus, et Vltimus.
Enter the Blacke Knight in his Litter, as passing in hast ouer the Stage.B. Kt.
Hold, hold,
Is the blacke Bishops pawne, the Iesuite
Planted for his consecration?
B. B. p.
Ecce triumphanti, Me fixum Cæsaris Arte.
B. Kt.
Art there (my holy boy) sirah, Bishop
Tumbrle is snapt ith' Bag by this time.
B. B. p.
Heretici pereant sic.
B. Kt.
All Latin: Sure the Oration hath infected him:
Away, away make hast: they are comming.
Enter B. Ki. Q. D. and B. Kt. with Pawnes, meeting the W. Kt. and Duke: the blacke Bishops pawne from aboue, entertaines him with this Lattin Oration.
B. B. p.
Si quid mortalibus, vnquam oculis hilarem
Et gratum aperuit diem: Si quid permantibus
Amicorum Animis gaudium attulit perperitur
Lætitiam (Eques candidissime) prælucontissime.
Fælicem profecto tuum a Dome Candoris ad Domum
Nigritudinis Accessum promissesse, peperisse, attalisse fatemur:
Omnes aduentus Tui Conflagrantissimi, omni qua
Possumus lætitia, Gaudio, Congratulatione, Acclamatione
Animis obseruantissimis, Affectibus diuotissimis, obsequys
Uenerabundis Te Sospitim congratulamur?
B. Ki.
(Sir) in this short congratulatory speech,
You may conceiue how the whole House affects you.
B. Kt.
The Colledges and Sanctimonious seed plots.
W. Ki.
'Tis cleare and so acknowledged royoll (Sir.)
What Honors, Pleasures, Rarities, Delights
Your noble thought can thinke.
B. Q.
Your faire eye fix on
That's comprehended in the spacious circuit
Of our blacke Kingdome, they are your seruants all.
W. Kt.
How amply you indeere vs?
W. D.
They are fauours that equally inrich the Royall Giuer.
As the receiuer in the free donation.
Musicke: An Altar is discouered with Tapers, and Images standing on each side.
B. Kt.
Harke,
To enlarge your welcome; from all parts
Is heard sweet-sounding aires, abstruse things
Open of voluntary freenes: And yond Altar,
The seate of adoration, seemes t'adore,
The vertues you bring with you.
W. Kt.
Ther's a taste of the old vessell still.
W. D.
The erronious rellish.
Song.
Wonder worke some strange delight
(This place was neuer yet without)
To welcome thee the faire White House Knight,
And to bring our hopes about,
May from the Altar Flames aspire,
Those Tapers set themselues on fire.
The Images moone in a Daunce.
May senselesse things our ioyes approoue,
And those brazen Statues mooue:
Quickned by some Power aboue.
Or what more strange to shew our Loue.
B. Kt.
A happy Omen waytes vpon this houre,
All moue portentuously the Right-hand way.
B. Ki.
Come let's set free all most choyse delights,
That euer adorn'd Dayes or quickn'd Nights.
Exeunt.
W. Q. p.
I see t'was but a triall of my duty now,
Has a more modest minde, and in that vertue
Most worthely hath Fate prouided for me,
Hah! ti's the bad-man in the Reuerend habit,
Dares he be seene agen? Traytor to Holinesse,
Oh marble fronted Impudence, and knowes,
How ill 'has vs'd? I'me asham'd he blushes not,
B. B. p.
Are you yet stoard with any womans pitty?
Are you the Mistris of so much Deuotion?
Kindnesse, and Charity? as to bestow
An Almes of Loue on your poore sufferer yet
For your sake onely?
W. Q. p.
(Sir) for the reuerend respect you ought
To giue to Sanctity (though none to me)
In being her seruant vow'd, and weare her liuery,
(If I might counsell) you should neuer speake,
The language of vnchastity in that habit:
You will not thinke how ill it do's with you,
The world's a stage on which all parts are played,
You'd thinke it most absurd to see a Diuell
Presented there not in a Diuells shape,
Or wanting one, to send him out in yours,
You'd rayle at that for an absurdity,
No Colledge ere committed, for Decorum sake then
For pitties cause, for sacred vertues honor,
If you'l persist still in your diulish part,
Present him as you should, and let one
That carryes vp the goodnesse of the play,
Come in that habit: and Ile speake with him,
Then will the parts be fitted, and the spectators
Know which is which, they must haue cunning iudgments,
To finde it else, for such a one as you
Is able to deceiue a mighty Auditory.
In the assembly) if they see what manner
You play the Game with me, they cannot loue you.
Is there so little hope of you to smile (sir)
B. B. p.
Yes at your feares, at th'ignorance of your power
The little vse you make of time (youths fortune)
Knowing you haue a Husband for lusts shelter,
You dare not yet make bold with a friends comfort:
This is the plagne of weaknes.
W. Q. p.
So hot burning?
The filiables of sinne, flie from his lipps,
As if the letter came new cast from Hell.
B. B. p.
Well setting aside the dish you loue so much,
(Which hath bin heartily tasted by your betters)
I come to marry you to the gentleman
That last inioyd you, I hope that pleaseth you.
Ther's no immodest relish in that office.
W. Q. p.
Strange of all men he should light on him,
To tye that holy knote that sought to vndoe me,
Were you requested to performe that busines (sir)
B. B. p.
I name you a sure toaken.
W. Q. p.
As for that (sir)
Now you're most welcom, and my faire hopes of you
You'ld neuer breake the sacred knote you tyde once,
With any lewd solicitings hereafter.
B. B. p.
But all the crafts in getting of it knit,
You are all one fire to make your cousning market,
I am the marrier and the man, do you know me?
Do you know me nice Iniquity? strict luxurie?
And holy whoredome, I would clap on marriage
With all hot speede to solder vp the Game?
So what a strong Fate hath prouided for thee,
You were a maid, sweare still you'r no worse now:
I left you as I found you, haue I startled you?
I'me quit with you now for my discouery,
W. Q. p.
Nay stay, and heare me but giue thankes a
Little (if your eare can endure a worke so gracious,
Then you may take your pleasure.
B. B. p.
I haue done that.
W. Q. p.
That power that hath preserued me from this diuell
B. B p.
How?
W. Q. p.
This that may challenge the chiefe chaire in Hell,
And sit aboue his Master.
B. B. p
Bring in Merrit.
W. Q. p.
That sufferest him through blinde lust to be led last
night, to the action of some common bed.
B. Q. p.
Not ouer common neither.
Black Queenes p. within.
B. B. p.
Hah what voice is that?
W. Q. p.
Of virgins be thou euer honored,
Now you may goe, you heare I'ue giuen thanks (sir)
B. B p.
Here is a strange Game indeed, did not I lie with you.
B. Q p
No.
within
B. B. p.
What a diuell art thou?
B. Q. p.
I will not answer you (Sir)
after thankes-giuing.
B. B. p
You made promise to me
After the Contract.
B. Q p.
Yes.
Within
B. B. p.
Mischiefe confound thee
I speake not to thee: and you were prepared for't
And set your loyes more heigh.
B. Q. p.
Then you could reach (Sir)
Within
B. B. p.
This is some bawdy P. i'le slit the throat on't.
Enter Blacke Q. p
B. Q. p.
What me your bedfellow.
To one that workes so kindly without rape.
B. B. p.
My bedfellow?
B. Q p.
Do you plant your scorne against me?
Why, when I was Probationer at Bruxells.
Fild the place, and wonder was in fashion.
Is't turn'd to the wilde seede of contempt so soone?
Can 5 yeares stamp a baud? pray looke vpon me (sir)
I'me youth enough to take it, 'tis no longer,
Since you were chiefe agent for the transportation
Of Ladies Daughters, if you be remembred,
Some of their portions I could name, you purs'd em too
They were soone dispossest of worldly cares,
That came into your fingers.
B. B p
Shall I heare her?
B. Q. p.
Holy dirision yes, till thy eares swell
With thy owne venome, thy prophaine lifes vomit:
Whose Neice was she you poysond with child twice,
And gaue her out possess'd with a foule Spirit
When t'was indeed your Bastard?
B. B. p.
I am taken
Enter White Bishops Pawne.
In mine owne toyles.
W. B. p.
Yes, and t'is iust you should be.
W. Q. p.
And thou lewd Pawne, the shame of Womanhood.
B. B. p.
I'me lost of all hands.
B. Q. p.
I connot feele
The weight of my affection: now hee's taken,
It hath not the burthen of a Grassehopper.
Enter B. Kt. p.
B. B. p.
Thou whore of order, cockatrice in Voto.
B. Kt p.
Yonder's the Whit Bishops pawne, Ile play at's heart now
W. Q p.
Oh bloody vilain, would'st thou heape a murder,
On thy first foule offences? O merciles bloodhound
'Tis time that thou wert taken.
B. K. p
Death preuented.
W. Q. p.
For thy sake, and that partner in thy shame,
Ile neuer know man further then by Name.
Exeunt.
W. Kt.
You haue enricht my knowledge royall (sir)
And my content together.
B. Kt.
Steed of royot,
We set you onely welcome, surfeit is
A thing that's sildome heard of in these parts.
W. Kt.
I heare of the more vertue when I misse on't.
B. Kt.
We do not vse to bury in our bellies,
Two hundreth thousand duckets, and then boast on't:
Or exercise the old Romaine painefull idlenesse,
With care of fetching fishes farre from home,
The golden headed Coracine out of Egypt:
The Salpa from Ebusis, or the Pelamis,
Which some call summer whiting from Calcedon:
Salmons from Aquitayne, Helops from Rhodes:
Cockles from Chyos, franckt and salted vp,
With Far and Sapa flower, and cockted wine,
We cram no birds nor Epicurian like,
Enclose some creekes oth' sea, as Sergius Crata did,
Hee, that inuented the first stewes for Oysters,
And other sea fish? who besides the pleasure of his
Owne throate, got large reuenewes by the inuention,
Whose fat example the nobility followed;
Nor do we immitate that Arch Gormandizer,
With twenty two courses at a Dinner;
And betwixt euery course, hee and his guesse
Washt, and vs'd women, then sat down and strengthn'd:
Lust swimming in their dishes, which no sooner
Was tafted, but was ready to be vented.
W. Kt.
Most impious Epicures.
B. Kt.
We commend rather
Of two extreames the parsimonie of Pertinax,
Who had halfe Lettices set vp to serue againe,
Or his successor Iulian, that would make
With a greene fig, and wipe his beard (as we can)
The old bewaylers of excesse, in those dayes
Complain'd there were more coyne bid for a
Cooke then for a Warre-horse; but now Cookes are
Purchased after the rate of Tryumphant, and some
Dishes after the rate of Cookes, which must needs
Make some of th'white house gormandizers, especially
Your welthy plump Plebians, like the Hogges
Which Scaliger cites, that could not mooue for fat,
So insensible of either pricke or goade,
That Mice made holes to needle in their buttockes,
And they nere felt em: There was once a Ruler
Cyrenus Gouernour choackt with his owne paunch,
Which death, fat Sanctius King of Castile, fearing
Through his infinite masse of belly, rather chose
To be kild suddainly, by a pernicious herbe
Taken to make him leane, which old Cordeba
King of Morocco counselled his feare too,
Then hee would hazard to be stung to death,
As that huge Cormorant that was choakt before him.
W. Kt.
Well you are as sound a spoakes-man for parsimony,
And cleare abstinance, and scarce one meale a day,
As euer spake with tongue.
B. Ki.
Censure him mildly (sir) 'twas but to find discourse.
B. Q.
Hee'le talke of any thing.
W. Kt.
I shall be halfe a fraide to feede hereafter.
W. D.
Or I beshrew my heart: for I feare fatnesse,
The fogge of fatnesse as I feare a Dragon:
The comlinesse I wish for, that's as glorious
W. Kt.
Your course is wondrous strict: I should transgresse (sir)
Were I to change my side (as you haue much wrought me.)
B. Kt.
How you misprize? tis not ment to you-ward:
You that are wound vp to the height of feeding,
By clime and custome are dispenc'd withall,
Eate, and eate euery day, twice if you please.
Nay, the frank'd hen, fatted with Milke and Corne,
A ryot which the Inhabitants of Delos
Were first inventers of: or the cramb'd Cockle.
W. Kt.
Well for the foode I'me happily resolued in;
But for the dyet of my disposition,
There comes a trouble you will hardly finde
Food to please that.
B. Kt.
It must be a strange nature,
VVe cannot finde a dish for't, hauing Policy
(The Maister-Cooke of Christendome) to dresse it.
Pray name your natures dyet.
W. Kt.
The first messe, is hot Ambition.
B. Kt.
That's but seru'd in puff-paste:
Alas, the meanest of our Cardinalls Cookes
Can dresse that dinner: Your Ambition (sir)
Can fetch no further compasse then the World?
W. Kt.
Thats certaine (Sir.)
B. Kt.
Wee are about that already,
And in the large feast of our vast Ambition,
VVe count but the white Kingdome (whence you came from)
The Garden for our Cooke, to picke his Sallads:
The food's leane France larded with Germany;
Before which comes the Graue, chast Signiory
Of Venice, seru'd in (Capon-like) in VVhite-broth:
From our chiefe Oven Italy the Bake-meates:
Savoy the Salte: Geneua the chip'd Manchet.
Below the Salte, the Netherlands are plac'd;
A common dish at lower end a'th table,
For meaner pride to fall too. For our second course,
A spit of Portugals seru'd in for Plouers:
Indians and Moores for blacke-birds: all this while
Holland stands ready melted to make sawce,
On all occasions, when the Voyder comes;
Zealand saies grace, for fashion then wee rise.
W. Kt.
Heere's meate enough in conscience for ambition.
B. Kt.
If there be any want there's Swisserland,
Polonia, and such pickled things will serue
To furnish out the table.
VV. Kt.
You say well (sir.)
But here's the misery, when I ha stopt the mouth
Of one vice, ther's another stands gaping for food:
I'me as couetous as a barren wombe,
The graue, or what's more rauenous?
B. Kt.
Wee're for you (sir)
Call you that hanousnesse, that's good husbandry,
Why when we make money of our faith, our prayers,
We make the very death bed buy her comforts
Most dearely pay for all her pious Councells,
Leaue rich reuenewes for a few weake orizons:
Or else they passe vnreconciled without em,
Did you but view the vaults within our Monisteries,
You'de sweare then Pluto (whom the fiction calls)
The Lord of riches, were entomb'd there.
VV. Kt.
Is't possible.
B. D.
You cannot walke for Tuns.
W. D.
But how shall I bestow the vice I bring, sir,
You quite forget me, I shall be shut out,
By your strickt key of life.
B. Kt.
Is yours so vilde (Sir.)
W. D.
Some that are pleas'd to make a wanton on't,
Call it infirmity of blood, flesh frailty;
But certaine there's a worse name in your booke for't,
B. Kt.
The trifle of all vices, the meere innocent,
The very nouice of this house of clay, verily
If I but hug thee hard, I shew the worst on't,
Tis all the fruite we haue here after supper:
Nay, at the ruines of a Nunnery once,
VV. D.
How?
B. Kt.
I, how? how came they thither thinke you?
Huldricke Bishop of Ausberge in's Epistle
To Nicholas the first, can tell you how,
(May be hee was at cleansing of the pond)
I can but smile to thinke, how it would puzzle
All mother maides that euer liued in those parts,
To know their owne childes head; but is this all?
B. D.
Are you ours yet?
VV. Kt.
One more, and I am silenc'st:
But this that comes now will diuide vs questionlesse
Tis ten times, ten times, worse then the fore-runners.
B. Kt.
Is it so vilde, there is no name ordain'd for't?
Toads haue their titles, and creation gaue
Serpents, and Adders those names to be knowne by.
VV. Kt.
This of all others beares the hidden'st poyson,
The smoothest venome, I am an Arch-dissembler.
B. Kt.
How.
W. Kt.
Tis my natures brain turne from me (sir,)
The time is yet to come, that ere I spoake
What my heart meant.
B. Kt.
And call you that a vice:
Auoide all prophanation, I beseech you;
The onely prime-state vertue vppon earth,
The policy of Empires, oh take heede (Sir)
For feare it take displeasure and forsake you,
Tis a Iewell of that precious vallue,
Whose worth's not known, but to the skilful Lapidary
The instrument that picks ope Princes hearts,
And lockes vp ours from them, with the same motion:
You neuer came so neere our soules till now.
B. D.
Now you're a brother to vs.
B. Kt.
What we haue done, has bin dissemblance euer.
VV. Kt.
There you lye then:
By discouery, King the noblest mate of all.
B. Ki.
I'me lost, I'me taken.
A great shoue and flourish.
W. Kt.
Ambitious, couetous, luxurious falshood.
W. D.
Dissembler, that includes all.
B. Kt.
All hopes confounded.
B. Q.
Miserable condition.
Enter W. King, W. Queene with their Pawnes.
W. Kt.
Oh let my armes be blest,
With this deare treasure,
Truths glorious Master-peece, see Queene of sweetnes
He's in my bosome safe, and this faire Stucture
Of comely honor, his true blest assistant.
VV. Q.
May their Integrities euer possesse
That powerfull Sanctuarie.
VV. Kt.
As 'twas a Game (Sir)
Won with much hazard, so with much more triumph,
I gaue him checke mate by discouery (sir.)
VV. Ki.
Obscurity is now the fittest fauour
Falshood can sue for: it well suites Perdition,
Tis their best course that so hath lost their fame,
To put their heads into the Bagge for shame;
And there behold the Bags mouth (like hell) opens
The Bag opens, the B. B. slides in it.
To take her due; and the lost sonnes appeare,
Greedily gaping for increase of fellowship
In infamy, the last desire of wretches
Aduancing their perdition, branded fore-heads
Like Envies issue, or a bed of Snakes.
B. B. p.
'Tis too apparent the Game's lost, King taken.
F. B.
The white House has giuen vs the Bag (I thanke 'em)
Iest. p.
They'd neede haue giuen you a whole bag
By your selfe,
Sfoot this blacke Bishop has so ouer laid me,
So squelch'd and squeasde mee, I haue no Verjuce
Left in me, you shall find all my goodnesse if you
F. B.
Thou Male-part Pawne,
The Bishop must haue roome, he will haue roome,
And roome to lie at pleasure.
Iest. p.
All the Bagge I thinke
Is roome too little for your Spalletto paunch.
B. B. p.
Downe viper of our Order, I abhorre thee,
Thou't shew thy whorish front.
B. Q. p.
Yes, monster Holinesse.
VV. Kt.
Contention in the bag? is hell deuided.
VV. Ki.
You'd need haue some of Maiesty and Power,
To keepe good rule amongst you, make roome Bishop.
F. B.
I am not easily mooued, when I'me once set,
I scorne to stirre for any King on earth.
VV. Q.
Here comes the Queene, what say you then to her?
F. B.
Indeede a Queene may make a Bishop stirre.
VV. Kt.
Roome for the greatest Machiauill Polititian,
That the ere Diuell hatch'd of a Nuns-egge.
F. B.
He'le picke a hole in the bagge, and get out shortly:
I'me sure to be the last man that creepes out;
And thats the misery of greatnesse euer.
VV. D.
Roome for a sun-burn'd, Tanzy fac'd belou'd,
An Oliue coloured Ganimed; and thats all
Thats worth the bagging.
F. B.
Crowd in all you can,
The Bishop will be still vppermost man
Mauger King, Queene, or Polititian.
VV. Ki.
So let the Bagge close now (the fittest wombe
For Treachery, Pride and Falshood, whilst we winner like)
Destroying through Heauens power, what would destroy:
Welcome our white Knight with loud peales of Ioy.
| A Game at Chaess | |