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Pleasant dialogues and dramma's

selected out of Lucian, Erasmus, Textor, Ovid, &c. ... By Tho. Heywood

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Menippvs, Æacvs, Pythagoras, Empedocles, and Socrates.
  
  
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133

Menippvs, Æacvs, Pythagoras, Empedocles, and Socrates.

The Argument.

Ivdge Æacus doth to Menippus show
The obscure Ghosts and Sulphur Vaults below.
And after that he brings him to the Plaine
Where both the Valiant and the Wise remaine:
Who as the freenesse of his tongue him guides,
(Wretched himselfe) their sorrowes he derides.

The Dialogve.

Menip.
Now even by Pluto I entreat thee show
(O Aeacus) to me the Vaults below.

Aeac.
Not all, Menippus, that were hard to do:
But such especially as belongs vnto
Thy late demand, namely the prime and choice;
If these content, I'le listen to thy voice.
Thou knowst that to be Cerberus, and him
The ferriman, who from the rivers brim
Trajected thee: this, Periphlegeton:
That the Lake Styx, thine eyes now dwell upon.


134

Men.
I know both thee and these, Æacus the Great,
Who in this portch hath a determin'd seat.
To observe all entrance, I have likewise seen
The Furies, with th' infernall King and Queen.
The men of old I now desire to see,
Precelling others in nobilitie.

Æac.
This Agamemnon is, Achilles hee,
That Idomen, a third rankt in degree,
And next them plac'd: The fourth discovered,
Ulysses, Ajax then, next Diomed.
The rest, the far fam'd Grecian Hero's are.

Menip.
O thou ingenious Homer, see how bare,
How groveling and how dejected lie,
How low the heads of thy great Rapsodie:
Ignoble and obscure they now are all,
Ashes and dust, trifles in value small;
For (as thy selfe said) nothing hath production,
But's mutable and subiect to corruption.
Now Æacus what's he?

Æac.
Cyrus hee's cal'd.
Now he that next him sits so much appal'd,
Crœsus the Rich; Sardanapalus then,
Who was the most effeminate of men:
Beyond these Midas, and that Xerxes,

Menip.
How?
Is it my fortune then to meet thee now
(Thou wickedest of wretches) in this plight,
Who once didst put whole Greece into affright?
That o're the raging Hellespont mad'st bridges,
And with thy fleet hadst purpose o're the ridges
Of mighty mountaines to have saild ('tis knowne.)
But what a poore Snake is that Crœsus growne?
Pardon me, Æacus, for above all,
I have a great minde with Sardanapal
To go to present buffets.

Æac.
Do not so.

135

He is so weake and womanish, the least blow
Will breake his skull to pieces.

Men.
As I can
I'le gripe him tho, halfe woman and halfe man.

Æac.
Wilt thou see those in wisedome did surpasse?

Menip.
By any means.

Æac.
Behold Pythagoras.

Men.
Haile, thou Euphorbus, or Apollo, or what
Thou wouldst be calld by else, I give thee that.

Pythag.
Haile to thee likewise.

Men.
Speake and do not lie,
Hast thou about thee still thy golden thigh?

Pythag.
I have it not. But tell me, I intreat,
If thou hast ought within thy scrip to eat?

Men.
Pulse, nothing else: Thy words are meerly wast,
For that I know thy pallat cannot taste.

Pythag.
Yet give me part; amongst us here below
Doctrines are taught which then we did not know.
As namely, That there nothing is to boot
Between a Bean and a Satyrion root.

Æac.
Cast thyne eyes further now, for besides these,
Here's Solon, son to Ercecestides,
Thales and Pittachus, With th' other Sages,
Whose memories shall live to after-Ages:
And these alone seem pleasant 'mongst the rest,
Iocond and free, as with no cares opprest.

Menip.
Cover'd with ashes from the toe to th' head
What might he be, that looks so like to bread
Bak'd on an hearth unswept, blister'd beside,
As if he late had rosted been, or fry'de?

Æac.
Empedocles.

Men.
He that from Ætna came,
Halfe broild of late, I know him for the same:
Thou excellent of foot, what was the cause
Thou threwst thee headlong into Ætna's jawes?

Emped.
Madnesse it was, Menippus.


136

Menip.
Not, by Iove;
But a vain arrogance, pride, and selfe-love,
With madnesse added, though thou didst not see't:
These scorcht thee, with the sandals on thy feet.
Thou Worthlesse, what have all thy feignings bred,
Being now as others thrust amongst the Dead.
But Socrates, ô Æacus, where's hee?
The only man I now desire to see.

Æac.
With Nestor and Palamedes consorting,
And those with whom he best loves to be sporting.

Menip.
Yet were he here, I would salute him faine.

Æac.
Behold then that bald Fellow.

Menip.
All are plaine
And without haire: it is an equall note,
As well amongst these, as in place remote.

Æac.
He without nose.

Menip.
Why, amongst great and small,
I cannot spy one wise amongst them all.

Socrat.
Dost thou seeke me, Menippus?

Menip.
Thee alone.

Socr.
How stand all things in Athens? long agone
It is since I came thence.

Menip.
Many yong men,
Puny and junior Sophists, such as then
Durst not have talkt in publique, now looke hye,
and openly professe Philosophie.
Nay, who their habits shall observe, the gate
Must needs confesse that they still imitate
The old Philosophers. Th'hast seen, I know,
How Aristippus to these Vaults below,
And Plato came: daubd with sweet unguents, th' one:
The other in smooth flatteries, cast upon
The Tyrant of Sicilia.

Socrat.
But of me
What censure they?

Menip.
A blessed Ghost to be,

137

And one, in those daies, whose predicting tongue
Spake of all things that to this place belong.
And therefore they admire thee, hold thee rare,
With whom none of the Sages might compare;
Above them skild, of such things speaking truest,
Yet (sooth to say) I thinke more than thou knewest.

Socr.
I spake of these things as my skill enabled,
Which they held dreams, and that I meerly fabled.

Menip.
What are these three about thee?

Socr.
In a word,
Charmides, Phedrus, Clima's son the third.

Menip.
'Tis well done (here too) to professe thy Sect,
And use those thy faire followers with respect.

Socr.
What can I better do, my selfe to please?
Come then, sit downe, and by us take thine ease.

Menip.
Not I, by Iove, but instantly returne,
To heare Sardanapal and Crœsus mourne:
Next to these two my mansion I will keepe,
Of purpose to deride them when they weepe.

Æac.
I must be gon too, and have speciall care
Lest some ghost steale hence whil'st we absent are.
My place is where thou foundst me, next the dore;
When next we meet, I'le shew thee ten times more.

Menip.
I thanke thee Æacus, even with my heart:
We have seen enough at one time, now let's part.