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The vvorkes of a young wyt

trust vp with a Fardell of pretie fancies, profitable to young Poetes, preiudicial to no man, and pleasaunt to euery man to passe away idle tyme withall. Whereunto is ioyned an odde kynde of wooing, with a Banquet of Comfettes, to make an ende withall. Done by N. B. Gentleman

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[Not long agoe as I at supper sat]

[Not long agoe as I at supper sat]

[_]

A gentleman being of late at an odde banquet, where were diuers women of diuers dispositions, and being serued in at the table diuers comfits of sundry sorts, being come home from the supper to his owne lodging, sitting alone in his chamber, hee compared the women with the comfites, in verse as followeth.

Not long agoe as I at supper sat,
whereas in deede I had exceeding cheere,
In order serude, with choyce of this and that:
with Flaggons fild with wine, and ale, & beere,
I did behold, that well set out the rest,
a troupe of dames, in braue attyre addrest.
Great was our cheare, yet supper being done,
to furnish furth the table new agayne,
Of sundry sorts a banquet new begonne:
of Apples, Peares, Marmlade, and Marchpayne,
Sucket, sugarde Almondes, and canded Plummes:
with many other prety didledummes.
And marking wellech prety daynty dish,
of comfittes sweete I gan great store behold:
For which I saw how many gan to fishe,
and at the last, I was my selfe so bold,

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Of euery sort to take vp two or three,
which from the boorde I bare away with me.
Now let the Comfittes in my pocket rest,
and let me view the company a while:
Of women kinde, whose view did like me best,
how some could frowne, and other sweetly smile:
Some could looke coy, in halfe a skorneful wise,
and some would stare, and some looke vnder eyes.
Some by sharpe nose would seeme to be a shrow,
and some more halfe a sheepe by countenance,
Some sulleine seemde, by looking downe to lowe,
some gentle seemde, by casting friendly glaunce,
Some seemed proude, by looking too too hye,
and some, would cast on all a friendly eye.
Now gan I gesse by outward countenance,
the disposition of eche deinty dame,
And though perhappes I missed some by chaunce,
I hit some right, I doo not doubt the same:
But shall I tell of eche one what I gest,
no sie, for why, fond tatling breedes vnrest.
But let them be such as they were, by chaunce,
our banquet doone, we had our musicke by:
And then you knowe the youth must needes goe daunce,
first Galiardes, then Larous, and Heidegy,
Did lustie gallant, all floures of the broome,
and then a hall, for dauncers must haue roome.
And to it then, with set and turne about,
chaunge sides, and crosse, and minse it like a hauke:
Backeward and forward, take handes then, in and out,
and now and then, a litle holsome talke:

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That none could heare, close rounded in the eare:
well I say nought, but much good sport was there.
Then myght my Minion heare her mate at will,
but God forgiue all such as iudge amisse:
Some men I knowe, would soone imagin yll,
by secret spying of some knauish kisse:
But let them leaue such ielousie for shame,
dauncers must kysse, the law allowes the same.
And when friends meete, some mery signe must passe,
of wel comming vnto ech others syght:
And for a kisse, thats not so much (alas)
Dauncers besydes may clayme a kisse of ryght,
After the daunce is ended, and before:
but some will kisse vpon kisse: that goes sore.
Why it may be they daunce the kissing daunce,
and then they must kisse oftentymes in deedee,
And then although they ouershoote by chaunce,
and kisse perhaps more often then they neede,
Tis ouersight, their skill perhappes is smal,
young Dauncers kisses, must needes be borne withal.
Then let them kisse, and coll, and let me leaue
to tatle so of kissing, as I doo:
For some alas halfe angry I perceaue,
haue lost I thinke some friendly kisse or two.
And all by my fond pratling on the same:
for bashfaste folkes will seeldome kisse for shame.
But tis a sport to see some dauncers kisse,
some bluntly laye their Ladies on the lippes:
Some kissing smacke, and thinke it not amisse:
some laye their handes vppon their Ladies hippes:

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To make theyr arme an easy resting place,
whyle they may smouch theyr lady on the face.
Some deinty dames wil proudely turne theyr cheeke,
in skornefull wyse to eny man to kisse,
And then God wot, young dauncer is to seek,
and knowes no way, but turne her head to his:
Which kisse, to them that kissing know in kinde,
dothe make them smyle, and laugh to, in theyr minde.
Now Courtiers some, in dauncing vse to kisse,
but in what sort, let them that list goe marke,
And I say nought, but only this I wishe,
eche gallant youth, or in the light or dark,
With his sweet soule, conuenient place to kisse.
no more, what? why? who is displeasde with this?
Faire Ladyes? no: young gallants? tush, muche lesse:
olde Syrs? yea: why? theyr kissing sweet is donne,
What though, I know they can not but confesse.
and olde shaune Fryer wil kisse an vnshorne Nunne:
Then for Gods sake, let young folkes, coll and kisse,
when oldest folkes, will thinke it not amisse.
But what? I had almost my self forgot,
to tel you on of this same gentle crue,
Some were alas, with dauncing growne so hot,
as some must sit, while other dauncde anew:
And thus forsoothe, our dauncing helde vs on,
till midnight full, hygh tyme for to be gon.
But too beholde the graces of eche Dame,
how some would daunce, as though they did but walke,
And some would trippe, as though one legge were lame.
and some woulde mynse it, like a sparrow haulke,

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And some woulde daunce vpright as eny bolt,
and some wolde leape and skippe lyk a young colt.
And some would fige, as though she had the Itche,
and some woulde bow halfe crooked in the Ioyntes,
And some woulde haue a tricke, and some a twitche,
some shooke their armes, as they had hong by poyntes.
With thousandes more that were to long to tell,
but made me laugh my hart sore, I wot wel.
But let them passe, and now syr must wee parte,
I thank you sir for my exceeding cheere:
Welcome (quoth the good man) with all my hart,
in fayth the market serues but ill to yeere:
When one could not deuise more meate to dresse:
Iesus thought I, what meanes this foolishnes.
But let that passe, then parting at the dore,
beleeue me now, it is a sport to see
What stirre there was, who shoulde goe out before:
suche courtsies loe, with pray you pardon me,
You shal not chuse, in fayth you are to blame,
good sooth though I a man woulde think the same.
Now beyng for the, with much adoe at last,
then part they al, eche on vnto theyr house,
And who had markde the prety lookes that past,
from priuy friende vnto his prety mouse,
Woulde say with me, at twelue a clocke at night,
it was a parting (trust me) wurth the sight.
But let them part, and passe in God his name,
God speede them well I pray, and me no wurse,
Some are gon, with dauncing almost lame,
and some goe light, by meanes of empty purse:

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And to be short, home hyeth euery one,
and home goe I, vnto my lodge alone.
Where being come, desirous to take rest,
to bedde I goe, where scarce asleepe, me thought,
I was new bidden to an other feast,
where to the boorde great delicates were brought:
Among which cates, such store of Comfites came,
as that my thought, I wondred at the same.
At last I wakde, and being well awake,
I sawe sunne shine, and vp my thought I sat:
Wherewith, I heard somewhat a ratling make,
but for my life could not imagin what:
But at the last, I shooke the clothes agayne,
and then streight way I did discerne it plaine.
The night before, at supper where I was,
of sundrie sortes of Comfites, two or three,
Into my pocket priuily alas,
I had conueied, and no man seeing me:
Which Comfites made the foolish ratling so,
as I did sturre the clothes to and fro.
Then tooke I out my Comfites by and by,
minding in deede to lay them in a chest:
But as odde fansies fall out sodaynly,
so will I tell you of a prety iest,
That as I lay thus muzing in my bedde,
marking my Comfites, came into my hedde.
I choose me out ech Comfite seuerally,
and tooke a tast by one and one, of al:
Some one me thought, did tast too lushiously,
some bitter sweete, and had a tang withall:

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Some smelt of Muske, and those were prety geere,
some care awayes, and they are rare this yeere.
Now as I tooke of euery one a tast,
my euening dames, came to my morning minde:
By one and one, from first vnto the last,
and thinking so, my thought I could in kinde:
Compare the comfites with the women right,
whereof forthwith I thus began to write.
First, I gan take long comfites for to tast,
and hauing scarcely swallowde downe the same:
They brought (me thought) vnto my minde at last,
a very fayre, tal, braue, and gallant dame:
Now in the comfit was a bitter pill,
so in the dame, might be some bitter will.
Now did I gesse the pill an Orenge pill,
which though at first in tast it bitter seemde:
Yet must I not say therefore, it was ill,
but woorthy was for to be well esteemde:
So womens wils that bitter seeme at furst,
in time perhappes, are not yet found the wurst.
The Comfites then I tasted next, were rounde,
wherein I found small Coriander seedes,
Whose tast, although at first I fulsome founde,
Yet must I not dispraise them more then needes:
For as I find, and as Phisitians say,
that they in deede, are holsome many a way.
These Comfites then did bring vnto my minde,
a round, plumpe wench, which fulsome seemde at furst:
Whom if perhaps I had well knowne in kinde,
of all the troupe, mought not be thought the wurst:

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What doo you laugh? well, I haue seene ere now,
a prety pigge of an ill fauoured Sowe.
Then next to these, I Ginger Comfites tooke,
whose tast did set my mouth all in a heate,
These Comfites, like the long Comfites did looke,
and as I found, were holsome for to eate:
And though my mouth, with heate began to smart,
I found they did great comfort to my hart.
These Comfites made me thinke vppon a dame,
of stature tall, and yet not very hye:
Whose lookes, mought set his mouth and hart on flame,
who would desire to tast her thoroughly:
And yet perhappes, when all her heat were past,
shee might his hart well comfort at the last.
The next I tooke, were biskets Sir, to taste,
which made me thinke vppon a prety wenche:
When sodainely I heard in posting hast,
some cryde fire, fire, and othersome cryde quench,
Hard vnderneath my windowe where I lay:
with which amazde, I layd my penne away.
Out of my bedde, on went my clothes apace,
and furth goe I to helpe to quench the fire:
But all was well, for why by Gods good grace,
it ceased soone, and as I drewe me nier,
So many hands were helping at the same,
I saw it nere quite quenched ere I came.
Which when I saw, I home returnd againe,
and hauing left my chamber doore vnshutte,
When I came vp, I found the footesteppes playne,
vppon the floore, of some odde lickorous slutte:

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That had dispatchde my Comfites euery one,
for credite me, good sooth they left me none.
Which had they not been so conueide awaye,
I would haue wrote my deskant of the rest:
But since they are so gon, fayth farewell they,
the next, I wil locke safer in my chest:
Till when, take these that I haue wrote vppon,
for credite me, now all the rest are gon.
Finis.