 | War poems |  |
65
Joffre
There's a solid lump of War—
Name o' Joffre,
Lives on a swift motor-car,
General Joffre;
Plays with Death at hide and seek—
In and out the Battle's reek—
Kisses heroes twice a week—
Father Joffre!
Name o' Joffre,
Lives on a swift motor-car,
General Joffre;
Plays with Death at hide and seek—
In and out the Battle's reek—
Kisses heroes twice a week—
Father Joffre!
Up at dawn to see his friends—
Healthy Joffre!
Has no patience with week-ends,
Have yer, Joffre?
“Get the work done—then let's dine!”
Likes his omelette and his wine,
Goes to bed at half-past nine—
Vigorous Joffre!
Healthy Joffre!
Has no patience with week-ends,
Have yer, Joffre?
“Get the work done—then let's dine!”
Likes his omelette and his wine,
Goes to bed at half-past nine—
Vigorous Joffre!
“Nibble, nibble all the day”—
(Patient Joffre!)
Makes the Kaiser kneel and pray,
Don't it, Joffre?
“Nibble, nibble all the night”—
Music for the pale moonlight,
Worries 'em and bleeds 'em white;
Saigner Joffre!
(Patient Joffre!)
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Don't it, Joffre?
“Nibble, nibble all the night”—
Music for the pale moonlight,
Worries 'em and bleeds 'em white;
Saigner Joffre!
Oh, he's keen on German dead,
Careful Joffre,
“Every one of 'em,” he's said
(Monsieur Joffre),
“Helps to fatten the warm, brown
Soil that still is France's own—
Dig 'em in and stamp 'em down!”
Farmer Joffre!
Careful Joffre,
“Every one of 'em,” he's said
(Monsieur Joffre),
“Helps to fatten the warm, brown
Soil that still is France's own—
Dig 'em in and stamp 'em down!”
Farmer Joffre!
He don't hurry up the Fates,
Doesn't Joffre,
He just waits and waits and waits—
Watchful Joffre!
Then he pounces—un, deux—biff!
Takes 'em right in the midriff,
“Kamerad—par grace!” they sniff.
“------!” says Joffre!
Doesn't Joffre,
He just waits and waits and waits—
Watchful Joffre!
Then he pounces—un, deux—biff!
Takes 'em right in the midriff,
“Kamerad—par grace!” they sniff.
“------!” says Joffre!
All the time he's fighting Bosche,
Steadfast Joffre!
In his four-three mackintosh,
Thrifty Joffre!
Want to see the German thief
Use a pocket-handkerchief?—
Holler at him, brisk and brief,
“Joffre, Joffre, Joffre!”
Steadfast Joffre!
In his four-three mackintosh,
Thrifty Joffre!
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Use a pocket-handkerchief?—
Holler at him, brisk and brief,
“Joffre, Joffre, Joffre!”
T'other day, he thought he'd go
(Thinks, does Joffre!)
To the seaside for a blow,
Cheerful Joffre!
Bulgars at the Serbian throat,
Greece behaving like the goat—
“Put me on the Channel boat,”
Murmurs Joffre!
(Thinks, does Joffre!)
To the seaside for a blow,
Cheerful Joffre!
Bulgars at the Serbian throat,
Greece behaving like the goat—
“Put me on the Channel boat,”
Murmurs Joffre!
And he wanders down Whitehall,
Simple Joffre!
For to pay his morning call,
Civil Joffre!
Cabinet Ministers in pairs,
Hearing footsteps on the stairs,
Jumped up from their easy chairs—
“Lord, it's Joffre!”
Simple Joffre!
For to pay his morning call,
Civil Joffre!
Cabinet Ministers in pairs,
Hearing footsteps on the stairs,
Jumped up from their easy chairs—
“Lord, it's Joffre!”
What he told 'em—well, you know
(Whisper Joffre!)
Must be printed so—and—so,
(Censor—Joffre!)
But on this and this and that,
You may bet your Sunday hat,
They had quite a useful chat,
Friendly Joffre!
(Whisper Joffre!)
Must be printed so—and—so,
(Censor—Joffre!)
But on this and this and that,
You may bet your Sunday hat,
They had quite a useful chat,
Friendly Joffre!
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So here's to Joffre Bahadur,
Soldier Joffre!
May he make a hash of “Fader,”
Frenchman Joffre!
Mr. Kipling, I am sure,
Will be pleased for us to score,
On the old slate, two names more—
“France” and “Joffre”!
Soldier Joffre!
May he make a hash of “Fader,”
Frenchman Joffre!
Mr. Kipling, I am sure,
Will be pleased for us to score,
On the old slate, two names more—
“France” and “Joffre”!
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