 | Le Cahier Jaune |  |
85
IN A COLLEGE GARDEN.
Once in a time of sunshine and cloudless weather,
By the brimming river moving to the sea,
The wind and I and the morning laughed together,
Merrily and loud laughed we.
Mockingly I flung on the turf beside me,
My withered volume with its homilies and saws,
Preach on, I said, but whether weal or woe betide me,
No word of yours hath been the cause.
Preach, I said, if ye will, to the old and ailing,
In my hand are the visionary years,
Leave their cloistral dismays to the faint and failing,
I have no faithless fears.
Let me scan as I lie the seasons thronging;
This brings glory and that brings warmth and love,
Surely, I said, my pure and eager longing,
Hath its counterpart above.
By the brimming river moving to the sea,
The wind and I and the morning laughed together,
Merrily and loud laughed we.
Mockingly I flung on the turf beside me,
My withered volume with its homilies and saws,
Preach on, I said, but whether weal or woe betide me,
No word of yours hath been the cause.
Preach, I said, if ye will, to the old and ailing,
In my hand are the visionary years,
Leave their cloistral dismays to the faint and failing,
I have no faithless fears.
Let me scan as I lie the seasons thronging;
This brings glory and that brings warmth and love,
Surely, I said, my pure and eager longing,
Hath its counterpart above.
Then I reigned so mightily for a season,
Hope and faith and eternity were mine,
I was lord in the royal right of reason
Of a destiny divine.
Time denied me my will, but ever smiling;
What of that? I could wait the promised hour.
Day by day with a certain hope beguiling
Hurricane and cold and shower.
Hope and faith and eternity were mine,
I was lord in the royal right of reason
Of a destiny divine.
Time denied me my will, but ever smiling;
What of that? I could wait the promised hour.
Day by day with a certain hope beguiling
Hurricane and cold and shower.
86
Am I awake at last? and was it dreaming?
While I so wondered, indolently reclined,
Busy brains have been labouring and scheming;—
Am I left behind?
These my comrades who faced the stormy weather
They sit throned in the ample hall to-day,
Will they remember the years we lived together?
Will they envy my delay?
By the sweet ambitions, I cried, that moved us,
By the birthpang of many a hallowed thought,—
Nay hey said, we remember that you loved us,
Only the time is short.
Who will plead, said I then, for a soul rejected?
Love sat silent and tears were on his cheek:
Wistfully smiled like a stranger half expected,
Only no word would speak.
I am undone, I cried, I have wholly blundered,
I looked for peace and have found despair instead,
Then love nestled towards me, and as I wondered,
Then thou art mine, he said.
While I so wondered, indolently reclined,
Busy brains have been labouring and scheming;—
Am I left behind?
These my comrades who faced the stormy weather
They sit throned in the ample hall to-day,
Will they remember the years we lived together?
Will they envy my delay?
By the sweet ambitions, I cried, that moved us,
By the birthpang of many a hallowed thought,—
Nay hey said, we remember that you loved us,
Only the time is short.
Who will plead, said I then, for a soul rejected?
Love sat silent and tears were on his cheek:
Wistfully smiled like a stranger half expected,
Only no word would speak.
I am undone, I cried, I have wholly blundered,
I looked for peace and have found despair instead,
Then love nestled towards me, and as I wondered,
Then thou art mine, he said.
Addington, 1891.
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