LXIX. AMBITIOUS REPENTANCE.
I
Peace! Peace! What aileth thee, poor sinful heart?
Rest in thy lonely room—
Scant happiness and sinner's penance-gloom
Henceforth must be thy part.
II
Why cravest thou, poor soul! fresh want or pain,
Mishap or sickness strong?
He must be old in faith, who dares to long
For punishment again.
III
The Cross, the Thorns, the Woes, that press thee now,
Have yet got fruit to bear;
And there is virtue still in each keen care
To scathe thy lofty brow.
IV
Absence of earthly hopes, no prospects brave
By some chance joy exposed,
And vents of sweetest mortal feeling closed
With cold earth from the grave:—
V
These are thy riches, where thy lone abode
Mid withered loves is cast,
And ghosts of broken day-dreams, and the past
Accusing thee to God.
VI
All things that touch thee wither—let them be!
For thou dost wither all.
Stern cheer! mid blight and barrenness they call,
The Dead call out to thee.
VII
The early faults which compass thee about,
To aid thy frailty come,
And clear for penitence a hidden home,
And keep the world's praise out.
VIII
All round thee, like kind wreaths of cloud, they rise,
To hide the heart's fresh bloom,
That thou may'st still be troubled in thy gloom
By men's hard tongues and eyes.
IX
Covet no more; nor in ambitious hours
Thy little strength forget:
Ah! there is store of bitter honey yet
Deep in these scentless flowers.
X
One joy is undenied: one earthly dream
Kept from the barren past:
One golden sunburst that o'er feast and fast
Shines with an equal gleam.
XI
Thou canst not bear to lose it, ever twining
Bright thoughts among the dark;
'Twould be thy death, poor soul! no more to mark
Its solitary shining.
XII
Covet no more: from these few pangs thou must
Enough for penance earn;
And wait and work: faith's last hard lesson learn,
Calmness in self-distrust.
XIII
Autumnal thoughts, the greenest honours shed,
With dreams and loves decayed,
At every wind's first bidding, straight obeyed,—
These strew thy hermit bed.
XIV
Wan as an autumn sun thy whole youth through
On feeblest shinings live;
And later on new frosts perchance may give
Autumnal beauty too.
