University of Virginia Library

DANIEL AND JANE

IN THE PUMP COURT

Daniel(D). Jane (J). Jane's mother (M).
Daniel comes over to Jane's, and while talking, pumps the water over the trough upon the pavement.
D.
Here! if I had your trap and beast,
I'd drive you all to Meldon feast.

J.
Oh! very well: but did he find
The pump a plaything to his mind?
There's Daniel plying all his bones,
In pumping wet about the stones:
And who's to trample, just for sport
To you, about this wat'ry court?
No, I should only like to shed
The water on your empty head.

D.
And did the frog, as people say,
Catch cold of wetted feet, one day?

J.
See how his two long armbones sway,
And how his peakèd elbows play.

D.
The pattens. How about a chap
And pattens, out at Oakrow knap?

J.
See how he chuckles. Come, tell out
What you can find to grin about.

D.
We left our pattens, in a stroll
We lately took, at Oakrow knoll.

J.
O! did we? Well, that must be fun,
With pattens out, and home with none.

D.
We call'd to take them, after dark,
Where William Henstone, with a spark
Of manhood in his soul, must come
Down Oakrow road, to see us home.

J.
Now you be off. I'll souse a bowl
Of buttermilk about your poll.
No, I should have no call for traps,
To catch the very best of chaps.
Not lopping, lolling, long-ear'd louts
Like you.

D.
O no, but Tommy Touts.

J.
(slapping his head at every strong sound.)
Nor drawling, dragging, drowsy drones.

D.
But Tom, ha! hah! Tom Shaklebones.

M.
Why lauk! whatever is this row?
Why Jane, whatever is it now?

J.
Why, Dan is at his sauce again.

D.
'Tis only fun, once now and then.

J.
He's here to know if we would ride
To Meldon feast, this Whitsuntide.

D.
Ay, Meldon feast, if you can spare
Your little waggon, with the mare.

M.
O no, you bring us little gains
When your hand shakes our old mare's reins;
Last month you beat her steaming hide,
Till we all thought she must have died,
Before a load of people, full
Enough for three such mares to pull;
A squeezing load of girls and chaps,
With some almost in others' laps,
And simpering faces up as thick
As ever face by face could stick,
And work'd the mare along as though
She had but bags of down in tow,
As you did whip, and whop, and whack
Her panting sides and steaming back.

D.
But now the load would be but small,
We have no Browns at home to haul,
And Jane could go with what's his name—

J.
Why Dan, you silly chap, for shame!

D.
There I would only take a few
Of your choice, you can tell me who.

M.
O, well, then, nobody at all.

J.
Hee, heeh!

D.
Hah, hah!

J.
Now you sing small.

D.
I'll drive the Wellburns, they'll be glad
To have me when I can be had.