The Poetical Works of Laman Blanchard :: :: University of Virginia Library

Sir, I rise under feelings which fathers, and brothers,
Sons, lovers, and cousins, and uncles, and others:
The Benedict loving, the bachelor lonely,
Will treat with no scoffing but sympathy only.
I move that the ladies—the source of our joys,
Promoters of harmony— (Uproar and noise)
—
I move, Sir, that these, men's enchanters and wizards,
Who, daily extracting laced footmen from lizards,
May haply convert our debates into wit
Oh! oh! and loud cheers)
—we among us admit!
I move the provision of seats for the Fair

The motion, when seconded, put from the chair).

Lord J--- R---ll

He feared it might lead to impressions, that great
Alterations were made in the frame-work of State;

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The country, he thought, would be apt to surmise
That ladies had taken the House by surprise,
And also their seats in it—though he could quote
The Reform Act to show they had no right to vote.
The ladies besides—he would here take his stand—
Were chiefly Conservative all through the land.
Much influence doubtless belonged to bright eyes,
And many dark mischiefs were sure to arise.

Mr. H---e

Unaccustomed to speaking, he begged leave to say,
That women were excellent things in their way;
Some, rather expensive—some, just the reverse—
He meant, where their husbands had charge of the purse.
He wished, ere the motion was carried or lost,
To know what the new female benches would cost.
The house might cry ‘oh!’ but the other word ‘pay,’
Was just as important at this time of day!
In making the seats, if a ‘deal’ could be saved,
The country would see they were not quite depraved.
He thought it but right that the ladies should bear
The expense; —well, they couldn't object to a share.
It were well could the House at an estimate peep;
Though he held women dear, yet he liked their seats cheap.

Sir A---w A---w

With pain he had listened to this proposition;
He dreaded, should deeply deplore the admission;

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He felt that the morals of ladies— (Hear, hear)
—
Would be blighted yet more in that masculine sphere.
Already their minds were familiar with sin;
If tainted when out, how corrupt when within!
The churches were open; and as for the fair—
He wished he could meet a few more of them there.

Mr. R---k

He rose to relieve the last speakers distress
About ladies' loose morals; the cause was, the Press.
The Press was the witch—from his soul he abhorred her—
That poisoned society— (Noise and disorder)
.
The Press was a demon with fiends in collusion;
Now he had a press—
(Laughter, ‘oh!’ and confusion)
—
If Canada— (Groaning)
—'twas one of his cares
That ladies should know our colonial affairs;
When they were admitted he'd certainly show
That Canada— (Question!)
—the Press was his foe;
He intended to move an address to the Crown-
For Canada—

(Question! the speaker sat down).

Mr. P--- T---n

He rose with no wish to prolong the debate,
But just to remark that he'd nothing to state;
To prove his assertion, he poured out a shower
Of nothings that occupied more than an hour.

Mr. O'C---ll

Sir, loving the sex, and beloved, I have lent
To this motion a welcome and cordial assent;

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Though it seems, when we know what the orator's trade is,
A project for ‘boring the ears’ of the ladies.
I ask but for this in no tone disaffected,
That Catholic females be never rejected.
Dear women of Erin—oh! much to be pitied
Are they who can't hear me—they must be admitted.
Oh! their smiles! —and their eyes, that out-glitter the gem—
And their hearts that throb wildly as mine does for them.
Concede but this point and I give with devotion,
The powers of my poor feeble mind to the motion.

Sir R---t I---s

He could not concede; and he thought the Dissenter,
Though pious, should not be permitted to enter.
The ladies once in, they might creep on too far,
Were the portals of Parliament once left ajar;
Whole hosts of white hands in a month or two after
Might knock at the two Universities—

(Laughter).

Mr. T. D---e

Not one single member had cause for dissent;
The married ones might—yet he could not relent.
‘I am off to the House; I must be at my post,’
Was the green-room or club lounger's evening boast;
But when his wife, now as meek as a mouse,
Should steal down—

(Alarm on all sides of the House).

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Mr. E. L. B---r

Sir, with joy I concede all the motion can ask!
If solemn our functions, if trying our task;
Still woman-ward more should our sympathies flow;
And learn how to feel—which will teach us to know.
The greenest oak-wreath that Philosophy weaves
Were dreary without a few flowers in its leaves.
We paint Fame as woman; what exquisite tone
Could tell of great triumph, sweet truth, but her own!
Receive then the ladies, those haters of wrong,
Whose lips make our language but laughter and song;
Those soothers of trouble and quellers of strife,
Mortality's May-queens, the lustres of life;
Who flirt with a grief as they would with a fan,
And smile away all the vain vapours of man;
Whose fondness, or favour, to sages delectable,
Makes the mere ‘exquisite’ almost respectable;
Who, in our sickness are abler than Halford,
In counsel more earnest and subtle than Talfourd;
Whose faces make home so bewitching—who pout
More bewitchingly still when we rise to go out;
Who will, until three in the morning, sit up for us;
Tea ready-made—when they pour out a cup for us;
Angels, who only dwell here among things
Such as mortals, by virtue of not having wings!
This motion is merely a movement of love
To open the door of the ark— to the dove;
Its patience shall calm us, its faithfulness guide,
Its meekness read lessons to rancour and pride;

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Its beauty shall light the dark orbs of the blind,
The tame shall be kindled, the vulgar refined. (Divide, and great cheering; —the plan on division

Adopted, 'midst mingled delight and derision.)

1836.

Grantley Berkeley.

Lord John Russell.

Hume.

Sir A. Agnew.

Roebuck.

Poulett Thomson

O'Connell.

Sir Robert Inglis.

Mr. T. Duncombe.

Edward Lytton Bulwer.