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Thompson's Trip to Epsom.
I
Kind friends! delighted Thompson! on the night he came to townThey said: “If up to Epsom, we will call and take you down.”
Next morn, ere Boots awoke him, there was seen at Thompson's door
The coach the ladies sat in and the satin that they wore.
II
Poor Thompson's had no breakfast! how could he his bacon save,How cut his mutton-chops up when his own he could not shave?
Poor Thompson's had no breakfast! “Waiter, say we cannot wait;”
With friends so fast his fate it was to fast upon a fête!
139
III
“We're full inside, for empties there's an empty dicky free,”Alas! ere long with Thompson's heart all dicky will it be;
Her beaming eye who tied his veil pierc'd thro' him like a lance,
Of what avail was such a veil to shield from such a glance?
IV
Forgetting soon his breakfast spoon he takes a spoony turn,His heart feels hot within him like a heater in the urn;
A sudden slip 'twixt cup and lip to Beauty from Bohea,
His tea no more he misses, thinks no more of Mrs. T.
V
A lottery they needs must have upon the Derby day,Fair fingers cut the tickets, so of course it was fair play;
My Lord, who draws the favourite, o'erwhelms them with his thanks,
Poor Thompson's had no breakfast! so they hand him all the blanks.
140
VI
Poor Thompson's had no breakfast! it was whisper'd in a toneWhich meant, if words a meaning have, “How hungry we are grown!”
Poor Thompson sigh'd as they untied the hamper, Thompson's sigh,
Say was it for his ladie-love or for the pigeon pie?
VII
Poor Thompson's had no breakfast! looking down he now surveysThe fair insiders filling their inside with mayonnaise;
For the luncheon stakes disqualified was Thompson, they declare,
A stomach twice as empty as their own would not be fair.
VIII
Poor Thompson's had no breakfast! “Super-excellent this ham.”Poor Thompson's had no breakfast! “What a tender bit of lamb.”
Poor Thompson's had no breakfast! “I prefer the dry champagne.”
Poor Thompson's had no breakfast! “May I trouble you again?”
141
IX
When done at last their own repast poor Thompson, better lateThan never, got possession of the hamper and a plate,
With two rejected drumsticks on a hollow dish he drums,
And chirps are heard as dicky-bird picks up the scatter'd crumbs.
X
Once more at home see Thompson, in his breakfast parlour chair,He knew better than to quarrel with his bread and butter there;
His wife with indignation of his aching stomach heard,
Of the heartache which had troubled him he never said a word.
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