University of Virginia Library


133

Romance Writers.

Majorem fidem homines adhibent eis quæ non intelligunt. Cupidine humani ingenii libentius obscura creduntur. Pliny.

Men are usually prone to believe that which they least comprehend; and, through the instability of human wit, obscure things are thus more easily accredited.


Assist me, ye gods, this dread task to subdue,
My muse 'gins to flag, though the theme's scarce in view;
The names wou'd engross quarto volume;—while folio
Wou'd not contain titles of works, wondrous olio:

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My task, then, must be to select from the crowd,
While the phalanx, by hundreds, in note I'll enshroud.
Ah! prove then, ye Nine, and Apollo propitious!
Unaided by you my gall'd nag will grow vicious;
When I shall my saddle incontinent lose,
And reap, for my pains, the loud laugh of the muse.

135

On this perilous sea, then, my vessel I'll steer;
O! may I from shoals and from quicksands get clear!

136

Romancers stand forth:—novel scribes straight arise,
Whose furor consists in retailing huge lies.

137

In mazes monastic of Strawberry Hill,
Sir Horace first issu'd the marvellous pill;
His brain teeming hot with the chivalrous rant, O!
Engender'd the Giant, and Castle Otranto:

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A stupid, incongruous, blundering tale,
The rank of whose writer alone caus'd its sale;
Since, had Leadenhall's Lane seen the work, I'll be bound,
To possess it he would not have proffer'd five pound.
Not thus of The Old English Baron we'll speak,
Of falsehoods now extant a most happy freak;

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For which I must compliment scribe Clara Reeve
As the lady most able to lie and deceive;
By hobgoblins bit, and knights errant, her hosts,
She brought forth, at length, a complete brace of ghosts;
While story of Dame and her murder'd Lord Lovel
Hath made Miss oft cold as Sir Cloudesly Shovell,
I mean marble effigy greeting the eyes,
Which smother'd with wig in the Abbey snug lies.
The name of a Lee, next, my muse shall impress,
Who bewitch'd youths and maids with her charming Recess;
A tale that condenses some truth with much fiction,
And is passably fair on the score of its diction.

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Anne Radcliffe, Leviathan fam'd of romance,
With grand cacoethes throws reason in trance.
Descriptions she gives both by sea and by land,
But the devil a soul can the scene understand;

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While villains so often assume diff'rent scowls,
And glare with their goggles; they needs must be owls.
Add misses most constant in caverns and thickets,
Who, drench'd, ne'er catch colds, though without change of smickets.
Young knights that on love are so constantly thinking,
They scorn the stale fashion of eating and drinking.
With these ably hash up dark tall waving trees,
High ramparts, watch-turrets, cloud-capp'd Pyrenees;
A horde of banditti; a mysterious monk;
Their readers, by heavens, are all in a funk.
Lo! such prov'd the spells whereby publishers sweated
For profit, first paying those hundreds Ann netted.
We next turn to Lewis, of monkish renown,
Who tickled the fancies of girls of the town;

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To whom let's subjoin female sprig of Jew King,
That makes her lewd heroine act the same thing

143

As she with Zofloya the Moor plays at evil,
Who proves in the sequel none else but the devil.
On a par with the last now her sister behold,
Whose morality's cast in the very same mould;
I'faith, in perusing their works, without slander,
Each breast, it should seem, must enshrine salamander:
Descriptions so luscious—such pictures of passion—
That prudes, ta'en with furor, to ruin might dash on.
Scenes wrought to a pitch worthy famous King's Place,
While sentiments breathe new philosophy's grace;

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E'en such is the witchery us'd by this pair;
Preserve me, good Heaven, from any such Fair!
To overthrow modesty roads there are twain,
One wily and specious, the other quite plain.
Libidinous themes will awake foul desires,
And, banishing decency, light lustful fires:
While sentiments specious pure truth undermine,
Like gold-coated snake, crushing prey in its twine.
From Ida of Athens these principles flow,
Just varnish'd like Eloise, fam'd of Rousseau.
As censor, Sir Noodle can ne'er accord praise
To themes thus subversive, though writer shou'd blaze

145

A dame of high fashion, with beauty and learning,
Since science should show greater store of discerning.
To the dame, then, in question, Sir Noodle advises
That, if present fame and the future she prizes,
And again should commit lucubrations to press,
They may greet public eyes in a different dress;
For, to circumvent morals in man is a curse;
But, from ladies, such works are ten thousand times worse.
A corps of romancers I now mean to call out,
So skill'd at the long bow, there's no fear they'll fall out.

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Now, Corporal Godwin, come forth from the cluster;
Thy Leon possess'd gold thou never wilt muster;
And, though youth-preserving elixir he boasted,
Like thee, through life's course, he was constantly roasted;
As hapless as Wolstonecraft, man's arts contemning,
Who sacrific'd self to those lures thus condemning.
Serjeants Ireland and Curtis, your stations now take,
Nor e'er permit sense falsehood's barrier to break;

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Be it thine, junior Shakespeare that vagrant to stick,
Who wou'd ravish The Abbess, or free Catholick.
While, Curtis, 'tis yours the Watch Tow'r to defend,
Lest Sons of Ulthona steal Scottish Legend.
Now, petticoat sisters, your care next must be,
Staunch Porters to scour through the Scottish Country;

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Sometimes 'tis a Wallace your succours must draw,
At others great Thaddeus, fam'd at Warsaw.
With look of a don, and a wonderful Walker
Comes guarding The Monk of Madrid, a bold talker,
Whose high sounding phrase might Don Raphael dismay,
And the Vagabond ship off to Botany Bay.
As females can manage their lords in this realm,
I shall station, as steerswoman, famous Ma'am Helme;

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Who, doubtless, will ne'er from the press issue dross
After Inglewood Forest and Pilgrim of Cross.
Sir Southey, now chang'd from his garretteer state,
To write silly odes, and palaver the great,
Must high raise the pike former friends to appal
With Amadis boasted for being De Gaul.

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What wou'd you, now, Murphy? Be off, cunning thief!
Be so kind as keep watch o'er your Milesian Chief.
Odds blood! now, don't blush at the capture you've made;
He's as good as the best of the romancing trade.
Friend Lathom's Astonishment cannot be rais'd
When I tell him the females his prowess have prais'd;

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Nor will it be kindling of Stanhope the pride,
To mention, as favour'd, her Bandit's dear Bride;
While Brewer at all times may laugh o'er good ale,
Recounting to hearers his own Winter's Tale.
Thus corporal's guard I've review'd on their prancers,
And so take my leave of these maniac romancers.
 

Nothing more powerfully displays that men are all but children of a larger growth, than the extraordinary predilection which is more or less manifested by every rank of society for the perusal of the marvellous. Nay even though we pretend to deride the idea of supernatural agency, we are, nevertheless, fond of listening to the detail of any narrative, avouched as a fact, though it is in direct opposition to the tenets we profess. Under these circumstances it is not surprising that Milton, Locke, and Dr. Johnson, should have felt interested in the perusal of romances, and the fables of knights errant and their persecuted dulcineas. Within the last twenty years the leading features of romance writing have undergone a complete change, as no production of this nature can go down, the drama of which is not performed in a catholic country, and the burthen of the tale connected with some wandering spirit of the night, To Clara Reeve and Sir Horace Walpole we are greatly indebted for this species of composition, which afterwards received additional strength from the German productions respecting the Illuminati, Rosicrucians, &c. &c., while, with giant strides, a Radcliffe and Monk Lewis appeared with lucubrations that made the former tales of the nursery appear as so many insignificant pigmies. In the old romances we find no mention of ghosts; but, in lieu of such flitting agency, if we refer to the black letter translations, for the which we are indebted to Sir John Bourchier, Knight, Lord Berners, we shall perceive many which possess a great share of merit. The Mort D' Arthur abounds with picturesque scenes, particularly one, where the effect of the “stroke dolorous,” is described. “Huon of Bourdeaux” has conferred obligations on many subsequent writers, which they had not the gratitude to acknowledge. His wild and picturesque stories of Judas whirling about in the sea, and of Cain in the desert, with an attendant friend, have supplied M. Petit de la Croix with the most interesting parts of his Persian Tales; nor has Huon's “Castle of Adamant” been spared by the same plagiarist.—There is a romance little known, called “Galienus Restored,” which, from the specimen given by an ingenious French writer, must be very interesting. The account of a visit, which, the author says, Charlemagne and his twelve peers paid to an Emperor Hugo of Constantinople, and the reception which that prince gave to them, is, as the same writer expresses it, “Un des plus grand naivetez qu'on ait jamais ecrites.” After a magnificent entertainment these guests were conducted to a sumptuous bed-chamber by Prince Tiberius and the lovely Princess Jacqueline. Thirteen pompous beds ornamented the apartment; that in the middle was for Charlemagne, who, not being sleepy, proposed to amuse himself with his knights by a species of conversation which the author of the romance calls “Gaber,” and which consisted of the most improbable rhodomontades; from whence, it is conjectured, is derived “The Gift of the Gab.” The emperor himself began by vaunting that, with his good sword Joyeuse, he could cut a man in twain, though defended by the best tempered steel. Orlando, his nephew, professed that, with a blast of his horn, he would level with the ground fifty fathoms of the walls of Constantinople; and thus every peer made his boast, when, the Gabs being completed, the party composed themselves to sleep, which would not have been the case had they known what awaited them the ensuing morning. Now it chanced that the Emperor Hugo, expecting much from the conversation of thirteen such paragons of valour and wisdom, placed a spy, who was directed to note every word which passed, and report the same early in the morning. The commission was faithfully executed, and the result made known to Hugo, who was so disappointed to find, in the room of the wise maxims he had expected, such a farrago of lies, that, unmindful of the laws of hospitality, he sent word to the whole party, that, unless each performed the purport of his “Gab,” he had made an oath to hang up every one of them, not excepting the great Charlemagne himself. The remainder of the story is too long, too profane, and much too free for this work; wherefore those who are desirous of ascertaining how the emperor and his peers extricated themselves from the scrape must consult Menage, who will inform them of the humanity of Princess Jacqueline, and of the very different figure which a celestial messenger made by undertaking a business quite out of his line.

The style of this would-be flight of fancy, like the dull monotonous language of the Mysterious Mother before mentioned, is a further convincing proof of its writer's total incapacity to produce any composition bearing the stamp of originality and genius. As a compiler of the Anecdotes of Painting and Engraving, Lord Orford appears in a respectable light; but for the accomplishment of any literary attempt beyond the mere drudgery of research he never was intended by nature; and, consequently, the world would have lost nothing had his romance and his drama existed only in the mazes of his lordship's pericranium.

There is a simplicity in the style and a constant interest kept up throughout the tale of Miss Reeve's Old English Baron, which must command the plaudits even of the most fastidious advocates for literature; for myself I am free to confess that I perused its pages with infinite pleasure; nor is there, in my humble opinion, a better fiction now extant among the countless works of the same description which have since been handed from the circulating libraries.

Miss Lee's Recess is ably put together; she has blended truth with fiction in a masterly way, and the only fault of this production is the tediousness of the last volume.

Much has been said respecting the Mysteries of Udolpho, from the pen of the above lady; but I have no hesitation in stating that I should never for a moment balance in awarding the preference to the Romance of the Forest. In the first-mentioned production the descriptions are carried on to an extent that not only renders them tedious, but unintelligible; and I very much query if two, and sometimes three of Sonini's Alpine pictures were not condensed into one by the author upon these occasions. But the most flagrant defect in this performance is the miserable denouement of what constituted such unceasing terror during so many thick volumes; I mean a mere effigy in wax behind a curtain, which every reader is prompted to believe a more horrific spectacle than ever before met human optics. The Romance of the Forest, on the contrary, is replete with interest; such actions, such scenery, and such characters might, and doubtless have, existed; and for this plain reason do I prefer the last mentioned volumes. As to Mrs. Radcliffe's productions, taken in the aggregate, they undoubtedly prove her to have possessed a most fertile imagination combined with no small share of literary acumen.

Having previously commented Mr. Lewis's productions under the head of poetry, I shall content myself by stating, that, from this writer's horrific predilection, he would not have found a bad auxiliary in Mr. Urquhart, of the navy department in Somerset House, whose taste, as a book and print collector, is further extended to a predilection for the ropes which have ended the career of all our notorious malefactors; which relics might have afforded ample scope for the production of the terrific from Monk Lewis's pen. Strange, however, as this branch of collecting may be deemed, I do not see but much good may result from the same; as upon reviewing each life-bereaving cord, the possessor cannot fail to recur to the particular crime of the man whose career it was instrumental in terminating; and from thence a train of reflections, no doubt, occupy the mind of Mr. Urquhart, as to the baleful effect of indulging, to excess, certain passions of the human heart, which more or less contributed to the disgraceful exit of the criminal. From this it is evident that circumstances, however trivial to appearance, may act as a most beneficial lesson to the contemplative and well-informed mind.

The lady now under review, who cherishes, I believe, all the extravagant notions of Mary Wolstonecraft, has apparently endeavoured, also, to adopt her vigorous mode of expression. All this may be excusable in a female, but any mind tinctured with morality can never for a moment tolerate the giving publicity to such scenes, heightened by the most florid descriptions, as are delineated in the progress of Zofloya the Moor. It is universally allowed that the existing state of society is sufficiently depraved; wherefore, let such writers take shame to themselves who not only labour to increase the existing evil, but willingly pervert those talents which, if applied to the purposes of virtue, science, and morality, would not fail to insure to the possessor the respect and admiration of every praiseworthy member of the community.

As the last annotation applied to the sister of the above lady also conveys my opinion respecting the present personage, I shall dismiss the subject with this remark, that, to the conclusive line of Sir Noodle's stricture, I, from my very soul, exclaim Amen.

The compositions of Miss Owenson (now Lady Morgan), I must candidly allow have delighted me; and I will therefore refrain from any further animadversions than are couched in the above couplets, as it would be ungallant in the extreme to follow up the two preceding comments by a third attack upon a female's productions, whose good sense will, I am convinced, in future, prevent the necessity of using the language of reprehension, should her fancy commit any further lucubrations to the ordeal of public scrutiny.

This gentleman, who has long found out the fallacy of interfering with the political horizon, is now honourably employed in placing to account those talents he possesses. As a romance writer he has justly acquired a high degree of consideration; his fictions are tolerably managed; and the language, though sometimes inflated, is not of that vague character which marks the generality of such performances.

Sir Scribblecumdash having thought fit to unite the above gentlemen, I shall not have the temerity to break the link, as the performances of both partake sufficiently of the marvellous to rank them brothers in fiction. Mr. Ireland's ebullitions of this class contain much imagery; and though his language is at times rather inflated, yet, upon the whole, the atural flow of his phrases bespeaks a mind attuned to harmony, while his plots and the developements of his fictions are the indications of a creative fancy. Mr. Curtis, pursuing a similar track, is not only more copious in his descriptive parts, after the manner of Anne Radcliffe, but his incidents partake in a greater degree of the marvellous than those of his compeer. However, with all these extravagancies, there is no doubt but ladies out of number have trembled for the fate of the heroes, and wept over the distresses of the dulcineas of their eventful pages.

Three sisters of the above name have displayed much talent in pursuing this walk of literature; and the praise which has been bestowed by romance readers upon their several labours is but a just tribute to their industry and literary deserts.

In addition to his romantic productions, which are of a superior class, the gentleman, of whom I now speak, is the author of a novel entitled the Vagabond, containing an instructive lesson and excellent sarcasm upon the pursuits of a misguided individual, who, led astray by the false philosophy of the then revolutionized France, became a prey to sufferings and misfortunes which were the sole result of his own misguided opinions and immoral pursuits.

The Pilgrim of the Cross, from the pen of Mrs. Helme, though possessing great merit as a romance, must, notwithstanding, yield the palm to her Farmer of Inglewood Forest, than which a better novel, perhaps, has not of late years issued from the British press.

Fully determined to attempt every style of literature, our great epic laureat has not disdained to herd with the children of romance by producing the above performance, throughout which we find a great deal that calls to remembrance the pompous and declamatory ebullitions contained in Sydney's Arcadia; in short, all the lucubrations of this gentleman display a certain something which indicates that the writer is desirous of exclaiming with King Richard, “I have no brother, am like no brother.”

The abilities of Messrs. Murphy and Lathom are of the most respectable class, with whom may be conjoined Mr. N. Brewer; not so is it, however, with Miss Stanhope, who produced the Bandit's Bride, a romance which will never soar above mediocrity in the judgment of any unbiassed reader. Having now brought Sir Noodle to the termination of his muse's present flight, I deem it necessary to remark that the catalogue of non-descripts, designating themselves retailers of the wonderful, might be extended beyond all conception; but when it is remembered that such annotations could contain nothing but a recapitulation of unknown names, the catalogue may well be spared.