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All The Blocks!

or, An Antidote to "All The Talents." Satirical Poem. In Three Dialogues. By Flagellum [i.e. S. W. H. Ireland]
  
  
  
  
TO ALL THE TALENTS
  

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TO ALL THE TALENTS

My Lords and Gentlemen,
Notwithstanding the affirmation of Polypus, I have thought fit to inscribe the ensuing pages to you, since in opposition to the author of The Talents I do conceive that I may accomplish my dedication without being branded with the opprobrious stigma of flattery,


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than which there does not exist in my estimation a more despicable vice, and one more deserving the severest lash of reproof.

With respect to impressing into my service an high sounding title, in order to usher my production into publicity, I cannot (should such a requisite be essential) have made a selection more appropriate than the above, wherein concentrates every attribute calculated to awaken the love and veneration of the truly enlightened understanding.

Sapiens dominabitur astris.

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As truth however is uniformly the best criterion to ensure success, I shall have recourse to that most sterling ingredient in order to validate my position, which goes to prove that you were justly entitled to the appellation of The Talents, which has been most invidiously applied to you by Polypus as a term of ridicule.

It has been uniformly allowed, that peace is the surest bulwark of the prosperity of a country, and the first operations of your


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administration were certainly of a pacific nature, yet although the Roman hath said
“Inquissimam pacem justissimo bello antefero.”
you were not of that opinion, but held the balance so justly equipoized, that the desire of peace never led you to forget those sacred duties which you were bound to perform as the guardians of a free, great, and generous nation, and therefore, however acceptable might have appeared the Olive Branch, the Sword was no less kept within your grasp to ensure respect,

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or when necessity should require it, command obedience from our enemies.

It is to your labours that we are also indebted for the Abolition of the Slave Trade, a detestable traffic which was as repulsive to common feeling, as it was subversive of the laws of nature and of heaven; and from the general tenor of your proceedings was also to be discerned the most scrupulous attention to the existing burthens imposed on the community at large, by a due caution in regard to every measure


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relating to the taxation of the subject. Such proceedings were alone sufficient to entitle you to the designation of The Talents; but we must not stop here, since it was from you we had to expect the overthrow of that detestable phalanx, the petty attorneys of this law-ridden country, who would have experienced from your united talents the most decisive check by the intended re-organization of the debtor and creditor laws, whereby both parties would have been benefited by lopping off in a great measure those enormous expenditures

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which are required in all legal procedures, and which consequently would have been appropriated to the use of the creditor, instead of being expended for the benefit of a set of monsters rather than men. This would have been true philanthropy, a lasting national benefit, not only deserving the blessings of the living, but must have experienced the heart-felt plaudits of millions yet unborn.

Such are a few of the points on which I have grounded my affirmation, that you were entitled to


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the appellation of The Talents, and for these reasons, I do maintain that my dedication is unpolluted by Flattery, having its superstructure reared on the unshaken basis of everlasting truth. Therefore, gentlemen, with every sentiment of respectful esteem, I beg leave to subscribe myself, your constant admirer,
though unknown

FLAGELLUM