University of Virginia Library


57

CAUDLE CUPS

[A DOMESTIC IDYLL]

[_]

The speakers' names in this poem are abbreviated as follows:

  • For C. read Caudle
  • For Mrs. C. read Mrs. Caudle

Enter from the Club Ferry Caudle, “quite sober.”
Caudle
—My Dear!

Mrs. C.
Well, Jerry!

C.
I say well, my dear!
What have you two — you 'nd Jenny been 'nd done
With the — with the I say — thstreetdoor key,—
I mean the keyhole? Dont I always say
Just leave the keyhole out and — dont — sit — up!

Mrs. C.
—Jerry!

C.
My dear! I'm Jeremiah'dear.

Mrs. C.
— Mired: that you are indeed. Where have you been?

C.
— Been? been to th'Club; they 'dmired me; said they did
When I said wife at home.

Mrs. C.
O yes! you thought —

C.
— Didnt say thought, hadnt all time to think.
'Postle, or is it 'pistle? one of them
Said good to drink sometimes for stomach's ache;
But woman not 'loud speak: else I 'd. The Club

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Dont 'dmit young women. Why did — you sit up?
Didnt I tell you t'leave the keyhole out?
Where 's Mother?

Mrs. C.
Gone to bed.

C.
Not sober. So
You 'nd Mother drink while I 'm at Club.
Brandy-in-tea. Why, Bess! you 're not upright:
Nearly upset me. Have to hold you up.
Call Jane! Bring slippers!

Mrs. C.
Jane has gone to bed.
Aren't you a —

C.
Jane gone too? which of 'ems got
The keyhole? Jenny 'nd Mother both gone drunk!
I mustn't go to th'Club, but stay at home
To keep y' all sober — sober. Look at me!
There, you'll be down again.

Mrs. C.
Look at your boots!

C.
— My boots, that's joke, it's your boots never wiped
Boots on the mat. 'D like to know where you been.
Hate tipsywoman. What'd the baby think?
Jane gone t'bed drunk. What 's use of candlestick?
Lay hold o' th' bannisters! I 'll keep you up. —
Well, if you will sit down on the stairs, I must.
But it is time for bed. You 're drunk, Elithabeth!