University of Virginia Library

PROLOGUE TO THE “FORTY THIEVES.”

Two or three sentences, with your good leaves,
Ere you pass one upon the “Forty Thieves.”
Who, in a winding-up act, now propose
To bring this “joint-stock” business to a close.
The rumour runs, and each of us believes in it—
A joint-stock company with forty thieves in it,
Who may all act with more or less rascality,
Cannot lay claim to much originality.
And this deponent positively swears,
That every one who has in ours ta'en shares
Paid for them but in joke—and yet feels certain
He can't be called on—save before the curtain.
An after-clap he has no cause to dread,
Our liability is limited.
Too limited, I fear, you may reply,
Is our ability—without a lie.
No matter, in this desperate speculation
We did not seek the “bubble reputation;”
Nor our own nests to feather do we aim,
To succour others is our “little game;”
And should we find we've played it well to-night,
We can but be transported—with delight.
Atrocious punsters! villanous jest breakers!
We laugh the dull old dictionary makers'
Abuse to scorn. Admit the fact, and mock it!
The men who made these puns would pick your pocket,
And don't mind getting two months with hard labour,
Like this again, to help a needy neighbour.
Boldly we say, friends, countrymen, and lovers,
Lend us your hands. Though pledged to Gallic glovers,
You'll grant, we're sure, as patriotism bids
Some small protection to poor English kids,
By you, we trow, sirs, will the boys be breeched.
The ladies for the girls shall be beseeched,
Petticoat influence was always great,
And, judging by the petticoats of late,
We may presume, without being offensive,
Such influence was never more extensive.
Hear us, ye beauties, then, in box and stall,
Come with a hoop, and kindly, at our call;
From your vast superfluity let fall
Some drapery for those who've none at all;
Though, iron-bound, your garments may not yield,
Your hearts by fashion never can be steeled,
And you can aid us, without impropriety,
In the wide circles of your sweet society.
Don't frown, for we are serious, we protest,
There's many a true word may be spoken in jest;
We've double meaning, but no double dealings,
And though we play on words, we don't on feelings.
The charity which smooths misfortune's pillow
We hope will cover every peccadillo,
And save the thieves who shall in crambo-verses,
Cry “Open sesame” to cram-full purses.
When we can screen one shorn lamb from sharp weather,
Hang us if we don't always hang together!