 | Pleasant Odes |  |
11
To Her Majesty the Queen.
I.
Madam,—
My acquaintance among Queens is limited:
I am fairly familiar
With the late Laureate's
Queen o' the May, mother;
Also, I have heard
Of the Queen of Sheba,
And Queen Elizabeth,
And Queen Anne,
And Queen cakes:
But these are about all,
Unless,
For the sake of furnishing forth
Another sparkling line
Or two,
We mention
The Queen of hearts,
And the Queen
Of watering-places.
12
II.
Nevertheless,Having been born in your Majesty's most excellent reign,
Having been brought up in it,
Having been married in it,
Having spent a lot of money in it,
Having done my best to render it a little more famous than I found it,
And having, at sundry times and on divers occasions, nearly died in consequence,
I feel that I may be excused
If I indulge in an outburst
Of unpremeditated, metrical loyalty.
All the other poets have had a turn:
Why not the present deponent?
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III.
Do not be alarmed,O my liege Lady!
I am not going to attempt
Uncouth rhymes for “Victoria,”
I am not going to bid you “hail”
In seventeen badly-constructed stanzas,
Neither do I propose to dilate
Upon your exceptional qualities of heart and mind,
Nor upon the exceedingly able manner in which you have wielded the sceptre
During the past sixty-three years.
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IV.
Mine, Madam, is loyalty,The loyalty of the common subject;
It runs neither to protestation nor to slobber;
It bares its head when the Queen goes by;
It bares its head when the band plays a certain tune;
It stands up at dinners,
In Europe, Asia, Africa, America, and Australasia,
And says, “The Queen!” and lifts its glass;
It stands up in less festive circumstances
And says nothing, and takes whatever gruel may be stirring;
It expands its breast for a ball,
Like the tenor in the opera;
And though they keep on shooting it down
For two hundred and odd consecutive days,
It is still there, and as ardent as ever:
In fine, Madam, it is the loyalty
Of the Briton.
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V.
It occurs to meThat, after perusing this ode,
You will probably command me
Into your august presence
(Monday is my slack day).
Were such a thing to happen,
I should come, as in duty bound,
Make my very best bow,
And offer you my sincerest apologies.
And if you were graciously to ask me
What you could do for me,
I should respectfully request
To be sent back
To the place from whence I came.
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