University of Virginia Library

THE WIFE'S TRIAL;

OR, THE INTRUDING WIDOW.

A Dramatic Poem. FOUNDED ON MR. CRABBE'S TALE OF THE “CONFIDANT.”

CHARACTERS:

• Mr. Selby—A Wiltshire Gentleman.
• Katherine—Wife to Selby.
• Lucy—Sister to Selby.
• Mrs. Frampton—A Widow.
• Servants.

Scene, at Mr. Selby's house, or in the grounds adjacent.

Scene.—A Library.

MR. SELBY. CATHERINE.
SELBY.
Do not too far mistake me, gentlest wife;
I meant to chide your virtues, not yourself,
And those too with allowance. I have not
Been blest by thy fair side with five white years
Of smooth and even wedlock, now to touch
With any strain of harshness on a string
Hath yielded me such music. 'Twas the quality
Of a too grateful nature in my Katherine,
That to the lame performance of some vows,
And common courtesies of man to wife,
Attributing too much, hath sometimes seem'd
To esteem as favours, what in that blest union
Are but reciprocal and trivial dues,
As fairly yours as mine: 'twas this I thought
Gently to reprehend.

KATHERINE.
In friendship's barter
The riches we exchange should hold some level,
And corresponding worth. Jewels for toys
Demand some thanks thrown in. You took me, sir,
To that blest haven of my peace, your bosom,
An orphan founder'd in the world's black storm.
Poor, you have made me rich; from lonely maiden
Your cherish'd and your full-accompanied wife.

SELBY.
But to divert the subject: Kate too fond,
I would not wrest your meanings; else that word
Accompanied, and full-accompanied too,
Might raise a doubt in some men, that their wives
Haply did think their company too long;
And over-company, we know by proof,
Is worse than no attendance.

KATHERINE.
I must guess,
You speak this of the Widow—

SELBY.
'Twas a bolt
At random shot; but if it hit, believe me,
I am most sorry to have wounded you
Through a friend's side. I know not how we have swerved
From our first talk. I was to caution you
Against this fault of a too grateful nature:
Which, for some girlish obligations past,
In that relenting season of the heart,
When slightest favours pass for benefits
Of endless binding, would entail upon you
An iron slavery of obsequious duty
To the proud will of an imperious woman.

KATHERINE.
The favours are not slight to her I owe.

SELBY.
[A voice within.

KATHERINE.
I conjure you,
Detain me not. I will return—

SELBY.
[Exit Katherine.
Re-enter Katherine.

KATHERINE.
A trifle, Sir.

SELBY.
Some toilet service—to adjust her head,
Or help to stick a pin in the right place—

KATHERINE.
Indeed 'twas none of these.

SELBY.
Enter a Servant.

SERVANT.
May it please you,
The coachman has driven out with Mrs. Frampton.

SELBY.
He had no orders—

SERVANT.
None, Sir, that I know of,
But from the lady, who expects some letter
At the next Post Town.

SELBY.
Go, Robin. [Exit Servant.

How is this?

KATHERINE.
I came to tell you so, but fear'd your anger—

SELBY.
It was ill done though of this Mistress Frampton,
This forward Widow. But a ride's poor loss
Imports not much. In to your chamber, love,
Where you with music may beguile the hour,
While I am tossing over dusty tomes,
Till our most reasonable friend returns.

KATHERINE.
I am all obedience.

[Exit Katherine.
SELBY.
[Servant enters and announces the Sister.
Enter Lucy.

LUCY.
You seem ruffled.
In years gone by this day was used to be
The smoothest of the year. Your honey turn'd
So soon to gall?

SELBY.
Gall'd am I, and with cause,
And rid to death, yet cannot get a riddance,
Nay, scarce a ride, by this proud Widow's leave.

LUCY.
Something you wrote me of a Mistress Frampton.

SELBY.
She came at first a meek admitted guest,
Pretending a short stay; her whole deportment
Seem'd as of one obliged. A slender trunk,
The wardrobe of her scant and ancient clothing,
Bespoke no more. But in few days her dress,
Her looks, were proudly changed. And now she flaunts it
In jewels stolen or borrow'd from my wife;
Who owes her some strange service, of what nature
I must be kept in ignorance. Katherine's meek
And gentle spirit cowers beneath her eye,
As spell-bound by some witch.

LUCY.
Some mystery hangs on it.
How bears she in her carriage towards yourself?

SELBY.
As one who fears, and yet not greatly cares
For my displeasure. Sometimes I have thought,
A secret glance would tell me she could love,
If I but gave encouragement. Before me
She keeps some moderation; but is never
Closeted with my wife, but in the end
I find my Katherine in briny tears.
From the small chamber, where she first was lodged,
The gradual fiend by specious wriggling arts
Has now ensconced herself in the best part
Of this large mansion; calls the left wing her own;
Commands my servants, equipage.—I hear
Her hated tread. What makes she back so soon?

Enter Mrs. Frampton.
MRS. FRAMPTON.
O, I am jolter'd, bruised, and shook to death,
With your vile Wiltshire roads. The villain Philip
Chose, on my conscience, the perversest tracks,
And stoniest hard lanes in all the county,
Till I was fain get out, and so walk back,
My errand unperform'd at Andover.

LUCY.
And I shall love the knave for ever after.

[Aside.
MRS. FRAMPTON.
A friend with you!

SELBY.
My eldest sister Lucy,
Come to congratulate this returning morn.—
Sister, my wife's friend, Mistress Frampton.

MRS. FRAMPTON.
Pray,
Be seated. For your brother's sake, you are welcome.
I had thought this day to have spent in homely fashion
With the good couple, to whose hospitality
I stand so far indebted. But your coming
Makes it a feast.

LUCY.
She does the honours naturally—

[Aside.
SELBY.
As if she were the mistress of the house—

[Aside.
MRS. FRAMPTON.
I love to be at home with loving friends.
To stand on ceremony with obligations,
Is to restrain the obliger. That old coach, though,
Of yours jumbles one strangely.

SELBY.
I shall order
An equipage soon, more easy to you, madam—

LUCY.
To drive her and her pride to Lucifer,
I hope he means.

[Aside.
MRS. FRAMPTON.
I must go trim myself; this humbled garb
Would shame a wedding feast. I have your leave
For a short absence?—and your Katherine—

SELBY.
You'll find her in her closet—

MRS. FRAMPTON.
Fare you well, then.

[Exit.
SELBY.
How like you her assurance?

LUCY.
Even so well,
That if this Widow were my guest, not yours,
She should have coach enough, and scope to ride.
My merry groom should in a trice convey her
To Sarum Plain, and set her down at Stonehenge,
To pick her path through those antiques at leisure;
She should take sample of our Wiltshire flints.
O, be not lightly jealous! nor surmise,
That to a wanton bold-faced thing like this
Your modest shrinking Katherine could impart
Secrets of any worth, especially
Secrets that touch'd your peace. If there be aught,
My life upon't, 'tis but some girlish story
Of a First Love; which even the boldest wife
Might modestly deny to a husband's ear,
Much more your timid and too sensitive Katherine.

SELBY.
I think it is no more; and will dismiss
My further fears, if ever I have had such.

LUCY.
Shall we go walk? I'd see your gardens, brother;
And how the new trees thrive, I recommended.
Your Katherine is engaged now—

SELBY.
I'll attend you.

[Exeunt.

Scene.—Servants' Hall.

Housekeeper, Philip, and others, laughing.
HOUSEKEEPER.
Our Lady's guest, since her short ride, seems ruffled,
And somewhat in disorder. Philip, Philip,
I do suspect some roguery. Your mad tricks
Will some day cost you a good place, I warrant.

PHILIP.
Good Mistress Jane, our serious housekeeper,
And sage Duenna to the maids and scullions,
We must have leave to laugh; our brains are younger,
And undisturb'd with care of keys and pantries.
We are wild things.

BUTLER.
Good Philip, tell us all.

ALL.
Ay, as you live, tell, tell—

PHILIP.
Mad fellows, you shall have it.
The Widow's bell rang lustily and loud—

BUTLER.
I think that no one can mistake her ringing.

WAITING-MAID.
Our Lady's ring is soft sweet music to it,
More of entreaty hath it than command.

PHILIP.
I lose my story, if you interrupt me thus.
The bell, I say, rang fiercely; and a voice
More shrill than bell, call'd out for “Coachman Philip.”
I straight obey'd, as 'tis my name and office.
“Drive me,” quoth she, “to the next market town,
Where I have hope of letters.” I made haste.
Put to the horses, saw her fairly coach'd,
And drove her—

WAITING-MAID.
—By the straight high road to Andover,
I guess—

PHILIP.
Pray, warrant things within your knowledge,
Good Mistress Abigail; look to your dressings,
And leave the skill in horses to the coachman.

BUTLER.
He'll have his humour; best not interrupt him.

PHILIP.
'Tis market-day, thought I; and the poor beasts,
Meeting such droves of cattle and of people,
May take a fright; so down the lane I trundled,
Where Goodman Dobson's crazy mare was founder'd,
And where the flints were biggest, and ruts widest,
By ups and downs, and such bone-cracking motions,
We flounder'd on a furlong, till my madam,
In policy, to save the few joints left her,
Betook her to her feet, and there we parted.

ALL.
Ha! ha! ha!

BUTLER.
Hang her, 'tis pity such as she should ride.

WAITING-MAID.
I think she is a witch; I have tired myself out
With sticking pins in her pillow; still she 'scapes them—

BUTLER.
And I with helping her to mum for claret,
But never yet could cheat her dainty palate.

HOUSEKEEPER.
Well, well, she is the guest of our good Mistress,
And so should be respected. Though, I think,
Our Master cares not for her company,
He would ill brook we should express so much,
By rude discourtesies, and short attendance,
Being but servants. (A bell rings furiously.)
'Tis her bell speaks now;
Good, good, bestir yourselves: who knows who's wanted?

BUTLER.
But 'twas a merry trick of Philip coachman.

[Exeunt.

Scene.—Mrs. Selby's Chamber.

Mrs. Frampton, Katherine, working.
MRS. FRAMPTON.
I am thinking, child, how contrary our fates
Have traced our lots through life. Another needle,
This works untowardly. An heiress born
To splendid prospects, at our common school
I was as one above you all, not of you;
Had my distinct prerogatives; my freedoms,
Denied to you. Pray, listen—

KATHERINE.
I must hear,
What you are pleased to speak!—How my heart sinks here!

[Aside.
MRS. FRAMPTON.
My chamber to myself, my separate maid,
My coach, and so forth.—Not that needle, simple one,
With the great staring eye fit for a Cyclops!
Mine own are not so blinded with their griefs,
But I could make a shift to thread a smaller.
A cable or a camel might go through this,
And never strain for the passage.

KATHERINE.
I will fit you.
Intolerable tyranny!

[Aside.
MRS. FRAMPTON.
Quick, quick;
You were not once so slack.—As I was saying,
Not a young thing among ye, but observed me
Above the mistress. Who but I was sought to
In all your dangers, all your little difficulties,
Your girlish scrapes? I was the scape-goat still,
To fetch you off; kept all your secrets, some,
Perhaps, since then—

KATHERINE.
No more of that, for mercy,
If you'd not have me, sinking at your feet,
Cleave the cold earth for comfort.

[Kneels.
MRS. FRAMPTON.
This to me?
This posture to your friend had better suited
The orphan Katherine in her humble school-days
To the then rich heiress, than the wife of Selby,
Of wealthy Mr. Selby,
To the poor widow Frampton, sunk as she is.
Come, come,
'Twas something, or 'twas nothing, that I said;
I did not mean to fright you, sweetest bed-fellow!
You once were so, but Selby now engrosses you.
I'll make him give you up a night or so;
In faith I will: that we may lie, and talk
Old tricks of school-days over.

KATEHRINE.
Hear me, madam—

MRS. FRAMPTON.
Not by that name. Your friend—

KATHERINE.
My truest friend,
And saviour of my honour!

MRS. FRAMPTON.
This sounds better;
You still shall find me such.

KATHERINE.
That you have graced
Our poor house with your presence hitherto,
Has been my greatest comfort, the sole solace
Of my forlorn and hardly guess'd estate.
You have been pleased
To accept some trivial hospitalities,
In part of payment of a long arrear
I owe to you, no less than for my life.

MRS. FRAMPTON.
You speak my services too large.

KATHERINE.
Nay, less;
For what an abject thing were life to me
Without your silence on my dreadful secret!
And I would wish the league we have renew'd
Might be perpetual—

MRS. FRAMPTON.
Have a care, fine madam!

[Aside.
KATHERINE.
That one house still might hold us. But my husband
Has shown himself of late—

MRS. FRAMPTON.
How, Mistress Selby?

KATHERINE.
Not, not impatient. You misconstrue him.
He honours, and he loves, nay, he must love
The friend of his wife's youth. But there are moods,
In which—

MRS. FRAMPTON.
I understand you;—in which husbands,
And wives that love, may wish to be alone,
To nurse the tender fits of new-born dalliance,
After a five years' wedlock.

KATHERINE.
Was that well,
Or charitably put? do these pale cheeks
Proclaim a wanton blood? this wasting form
Seem a fit theatre for Levity
To play his love-tricks on; and act such follies,
As even in Affection's first bland Moon
Have less of grace than pardon in best wedlocks?
I was about to say, that there are times,
When the most frank and sociable man
May surfeit on most loved society,
Preferring loneness rather—

MRS. FRAMPTON.
To my company—

KATHERINE.
Ay, your's, or mine, or any one's. Nay, take
Not this unto yourself. Even in the newness
Of our first married loves 'twas sometimes so.
For solitude, I have heard my Selby say,
Is to the mind as rest to the corporal functions;
And he would call it oft, the day's soft sleep.

MRS. FRAMPTON.
What is your drift? and whereto tends this speech,
Rhetorically labour'd?

KATHERINE.
That you would
Abstain but from our house a month, a week;
I make request but for a single day.

MRS. FRAMPTON.
A month, a week, a day! A single hour
Is every week, and month, and the long year,
And all the years to come! My footing here,
Slipt once, recovers never. From the state
Of gilded roofs, attendance, luxuries,
Parks, gardens, sauntering walks, or wholesome rides,
To the bare cottage on the withering moor,
Where I myself am servant to myself,
Or only waited on by blackest thoughts—
I sink, if this be so. No; here I sit.

KATHERINE.
Then I am lost for ever!

[Sinks at her feet—curtain drops.

Scene.—An Apartment, contiguous to the last.

Selby, as if listening.
SELBY.
The sounds have died away. What am I changed to?
What do I here, list'ning like to an abject,
Or heartless wittol, that must hear no good,
If he hear aught? “This shall to the ear of your husband.”
It was the Widow's word. I guess'd some mystery,
And the solution with a vengeance comes.
What can my wife have left untold to me,
That must be told by proxy? I begin
To call in doubt the course of her life past
Under my very eyes. She hath not been good,
Not virtuous, not discreet; she hath not outrun
My wishes still with prompt and meek observance.
Perhaps she is not fair, sweet-voiced; her eyes
Not like the dove's; all this as well may be,
As that she should entreasure up a secret
In the peculiar closet of her breast,
And grudge it to my ear. It is my right
To claim the halves in any truth she owns,
As much as in the babe I have by her;
Upon whose face henceforth I fear to look,
Lest I should fancy in its innocent brow
Some strange shame written.

Enter Lucy.
LUCY.
The gentlest means
Are still the wisest. What, if you should press
Your wife to a disclosure?

SELBY.
I have tried
All gentler means; thrown out low hints, which, though
Merely suggestions still, have never fail'd
To blanch her cheek with fears. Roughlier to insist,
Would be to kill, where I but meant to heal.

LUCY.
Your own description gave that Widow out
As one not much precise, nor over coy,
And nice to listen to a suit of love.
What if you feign'd a courtship, putting on,
(To work the secret from her easy faith,)
For honest ends, a most dishonest seeming?

SELBY.
I see your drift, and partly meet your counsel.
But must it not in me appear prodigious,
To say the least, unnatural, and suspicious,
To move hot love, where I have shewn cool scorn,
And undissembled looks of blank aversion?

LUCY.
Vain woman is the dupe of her own charms,
And easily credits the resistless power,
That in besieging Beauty lies, to cast down
The slight-built fortress of a casual hate.

SELBY.
I am resolved—

LUCY.
Success attend your wooing!

SELBY.
And I'll about it roundly, my wise sister.

[Exeunt.

Scene.—The Library.

Mr. Selby, Mrs. Frampton.
SELBY.
A fortunate encounter, Mistress Frampton.
My purpose was, if you can spare so much
From your sweet leisure, a few words in private.

MRS. FRAMPTON.
[Aside.

SELBY.
No more of that.—
I know not why, my wife hath lost of late
Much of her cheerful spirits.

MRS. FRAMPTON.
It was my topic
To-day; and every day, and all day long,
I still am chiding with her. “Child,” I said,
And said it pretty roundly—it may be
I was too peremptory—we elder school-fellows,
Presuming on the advantage of a year
Or two, which, in that tender time, seem'd much,
In after years, much like to elder sisters,
Are prone to keep the authoritative style,
When time has made the difference most ridiculous—

SELBY.
The observation's shrewd.

MRS. FRAMPTON.
“Child,” I was saying,
“If some wives had obtained a lot like yours,”
And then perhaps I sigh'd, “they would not sit
In corners moping, like to sullen moppets
That want their will, but dry their eyes, and look
Their cheerful husbands in the face,” perhaps
I said, their Selby's, “with proportion'd looks
Of honest joy.”

SELBY.
You do suspect no jealousy?

MRS. FRAMPTON.

SELBY.
I do not know, but women have their fancies;
And underneath a cold indifference,
Or show of some distaste, husbands have mask'd
A growing fondness for a female friend,
Which the wife's eye was sharp enough to see,
Before the friend had wit to find it out.
You do not quit us soon?

MRS. FRAMPTON.
'Tis as I find
Your Katherine profits by my lessons, sir.—
Means this man honest? Is there no deceit?

[Aside.
SELBY.
She cannot chuse.—Well, well, I have been thinking,
And if the matter were to do again—

MRS. FRAMPTON.
What matter, sir?

SELBY.
This idle bond of wedlock;
These sour-sweet briars, fetters of harsh silk;
I might have made, I do not say a better,
But a more fit choice in a wife.

MRS. FRAMPTON.
The parch'd ground,
In hottest Julys, drinks not in the showers
More greedily, than I his words!

[Aside.
SELBY.
My humour
Is to be frank and jovial; and that man
Affects me best, who most reflects me in
My most free temper.

MRS. FRAMPTON.
Were you free to chuse,
As jestingly I'll put the supposition,
Without a thought reflecting on your Katherine,
What sort of woman would you make your choice?

SELBY.
I like your humour, and will meet your jest.
She should be one about my Katherine's age;
But not so old, by some ten years, in gravity.
One that would meet my mirth, sometimes outrun it;
No puling, pining moppet, as you said,
Nor moping maid, that I must still be teaching
The freedoms of a wife all her life after:
But one, that, having worn the chain before,
(And worn it lightly, as report gave out,)
Enfranchised from it by her poor fool's death,
Took it not so to heart that I need dread
To die myself, for fear a second time
To wet a widow's eye.

MRS. FRAMPTON.
Some widows, sir,
Hearing you talk so wildly, would be apt
To put strange misconstruction on your words,
As aiming at a Turkish liberty,
Where the free husband hath his several mates,
His Penseroso, his Allegro wife,
To suit his sober, or his frolic fit.

SELBY.
How judge you of that latitude?

MRS. FRAMPTON.
As one,
In European customs bred, must judge. Had I
Been born a native of the liberal East,
I might have thought as they do. Yet I knew
A married man that took a second wife,
And (the man's circumstances duly weigh'd,
With all their bearings) the considerate world
Nor much approved, nor much condemn'd the deed.

SELBY.
You move my wonder strangely. Pray, proceed.

MRS. FRAMPTON.
An eye of wanton liking he had placed
Upon a Widow, who liked him again,
But stood on terms of honourable love,
And scrupled wronging his most virtuous wife—
When to their ears a lucky rumour ran,
That this demure and saintly-seeming wife
Had a first husband living; with the which
Being question'd, she but faintly could deny.
“A priest indeed there was; some words had past,
But scarce amounting to a marriage rite.
Her friend was absent; she supposed him dead;
And, seven years parted, both were free to chuse.”

SELBY.
What did the indignant husband? Did he not
With violent handlings stigmatize the cheek
Of the deceiving wife, who had entail'd
Shame on their innocent babe?

MRS. FRAMPTON.
He neither tore
His wife's locks nor his own; but wisely weighing
His own offence with her's in equal poise,
And woman's weakness 'gainst the strength of man,
Came to a calm and witty compromise.
He coolly took his gay-faced widow home,
Made her his second wife; and still the first
Lost few or none of her prerogatives.
The servants call'd her mistress still; she kept
The keys, and had the total ordering
Of the house affairs; and, some slight toys excepted,
Was all a moderate wife would wish to be.

SELBY.
A tale full of dramatic incident!—
And if a man should put it in a play,
How should he name the parties?

MRS. FRAMPTON.
The man's name
Through time I have forgot—the widow's too;—
But his first wife's first name, her maiden one,
Was—not unlike to that your Katherine bore,
Before she took the honour'd style of Selby.

SELBY.
A dangerous meaning in your riddle lurks.
One knot is yet unsolved; that told, this strange
And most mysterious drama ends. The name
Of that first husband—

Enter Lucy.
MRS. FRAMPTON.
Sir, your pardon—
The allegory fits your private ear.
Some half hour hence, in the garden's secret walk,
We shall have leisure.

[Exit.
SELBY.
Sister, whence come you?

LUCY.
From your poor Katherine's chamber, where she droops
In sad presageful thoughts, and sighs, and weeps,
And seems to pray by turns. At times she looks
As she would pour her secret in my bosom—
Then starts, as I have seen her, at the mention
Of some immodest act. At her request,
I left her on her knees.

SELBY.
The fittest posture;
For great has been her fault to Heaven and me.
She married me, with a first husband living,
Or not known not to be so, which, in the judgment
Of any but indifferent honesty,
Must be esteem'd the same. The shallow Widow,
Caught by my art, under a riddling veil
Too thin to hide her meaning, hath confess'd all.
Your coming in broke off the conference,
When she was ripe to tell the fatal name,
That seals my wedded doom.

LUCY.
Was she so forward
To pour her hateful meanings in your ear
At the first hint?

SELBY.
Her newly flatter'd hopes
Array'd themselves at first in forms of doubt;
And with a female caution she stood off
Awhile, to read the meaning of my suit,
Which with such honest seeming I enforced,
That her cold scruples soon gave way; and now
She rests prepared, as mistress, or as wife,
To seize the place of her betrayed friend—
My much offending, but more suffering, Katherine.

LUCY.
Into what labyrinth of fearful shapes
My simple project has conducted you—
Were but my wit as skilful to invent
A clue to lead you forth!—I call to mind
A letter, which your wife received from the Cape,
Soon after you were married, with some circumstances
Of mystery too.

SELBY.
I well remember it.
That letter did confirm the truth (she said)
Of a friend's death, which she had long fear'd true,
But knew not for a fact. A youth of promise
She gave him out—a hot adventurous spirit—
That had set sail in quest of golden dreams,
And cities in the heart of Central Afric;
But named no names, nor did I care to press
My question further, in the passionate grief
She shew'd at the receipt. Might this be he?

LUCY.
Tears were not all. When that first shower was past,
With clasped hands she raised her eyes to Heav'n,
As if in thankfulness for some escape,
Or strange deliverance, in the news implied,
Which sweeten'd that sad news.

SELBY.
Something of that
I noted also—

LUCY.
In her closet once,
Seeking some other trifle, I espied
A ring, in mournful characters deciphering
The death of “Robert Halford, aged two
And twenty.” Brother, I am not given
To the confident use of wagers, which I hold
Unseemly in a woman's argument;
But I am strangely tempted now to risk
A thousand pounds out of my patrimony,
(And let my future husband look to it,
If it be lost,) that this immodest Widow
Shall name the name that tallies with that ring.

SELBY.
That wager lost, I should be rich indeed—
Rich in my rescued Kate—rich in my honour,
Which now was bankrupt. Sister, I accept
Your merry wager, with an aching heart
For very fear of winning. 'Tis the hour
That I should meet my Widow in the walk,
The south side of the garden. On some pretence
Lure forth my Wife that way, that she may witness
Our seeming courtship. Keep us still in sight,
Yourselves unseen; and by some sign I'll give,
(A finger held up, or a kerchief waved,)
You'll know your wager won—then break upon us,
As if by chance.

LUCY.
I apprehend your meaning—

SELBY.
And may you prove a true Cassandra here,
Though my poor acres smart for't, wagering sister.

[Exeunt.

Scene.—Mrs. Selby's Chamber.

Mrs. Frampton—Katherine.
MRS. FRAMPTON.
Did I express myself in terms so strong?

KATHERINE.
As nothing could have more affrighted me.

MRS. FRAMPTON.
Think it a hurt friend's jest, in retribution
Of a suspected cooling hospitality.
And, for my staying here, or going hence,
(Now I remember something of our argument,)
Selby and I can settle that between us.
You look amazed. What if your husband, child,
Himself has courted me to stay?

KATHERINE.
You move
My wonder and my pleasure equally.

MRS. FRAMPTON.
Yes, courted me to stay, wav'd all objections,
Made it a favour to yourselves; not me,
His troublesome guest, as you surmised. Child, child,
When I recall his flattering welcome, I
Begin to think the burden of my presence
Was—

KATHERINE.
What, for Heaven—

MRS. FRAMPTON.
A little, little spice
Of jealousy—that's all—an honest pretext,
No wife need blush for. Say that you should see,
(As oftentimes we widows take such freedoms,
Yet still on this side virtue,) in a jest
Your husband pat me on the cheek, or steal
A kiss, while you were by,—not else, for virtue's sake.

KATHERINE.
I could endure all this, thinking my husband
Meant it in sport—

MRS. FRAMPTON.
But if in downright earnest
(Putting myself out of the question here)
Your Selby, as I partly do suspect,
Own'd a divided heart—

KATHERINE.
My own would break—

MRS. FRAMPTON.
Why, what a blind and witless fool it is,
That will not see its gains, its infinite gains—

KATHERINE.

MRS. FRAMPTON.
He doting on a face—suppose it mine,
Or any other's tolerably fair—
What need you care about a senseless secret?

KATHERINE.
Perplex'd and fearful woman! I in part
Fathom your dangerous meaning. You have broke
The worse than iron band, fretting the soul,
By which you held me captive. Whether my husband
Is what you gave him out, or your fool'd fancy
But dreams he is so, either way I am free.

MRS. FRAMPTON.
It talks it bravely, blazons out its shame;
A very heroine while on its knees;
Rowe's Penitent, an absolute Calista!

KATHERINE.
Not to thy wretched self these tears are falling;
But to my husband, and offended heaven,
Some drops are due—and then I sleep in peace,
Reliev'd from frightful dreams, my dreams though sad.

[Exit.
MRS. FRAMPTON.
I have gone too far. Who knows but in this mood
She may forestall my story, win on Selby
By a frank confession?—and the time draws on
For our appointed meeting. The game's desperate,
For which I play. A moment's difference
May make it her's or mine. I fly to meet him.

[Exit.

Scene.—A Garden.

Mr. Selby—Mrs. Frampton.
SELBY.

MRS. FRAMPTON.
Even from her earliest school days—What of that?
Or how is she concerned in my fine riddles,
Framed for the hour's amusement?

SELBY.
By my hopes
Of my new interest conceiv'd in you,
And by the honest passion of my heart,
Which not obliquely I to you did hint;
Come from the clouds of misty allegory,
And in plain language let me hear the worst.
Stand I disgraced, or no?

MRS. FRAMPTON.
Then, by my hopes
Of my new interest conceiv'd in you,
And by the kindling passion in my breast,
Which through my riddles you had almost read,
Adjured so strongly, I will tell you all.
In her school years, then bordering on fifteen,
Or haply not much past, she loved a youth—

SELBY.
My most ingenuous Widow—

MRS. FRAMPTON.
Met him oft
By stealth, where I still of the party was—

SELBY.
Prime confidante to all the school, I warrant,
And general go-between—

[Aside.
MRS. FRAMPTON.
One morn he came
In breathless haste. “The ship was under sail,
Or in few hours would be, that must convey
Him and his destinies to barbarous shores,
Where, should he perish by inglorious hands,
It would be consolation in his death
To have call'd his Katherine his.”

SELBY.
Thus far the story
Tallies with what I hoped.

[Aside.
MRS. FRAMPTON.
Wavering between
The doubt of doing wrong, and losing him;
And my dissuasions not o'er hotly urged,
Whom he had flatter'd with the bride-maid's part;—

SELBY.
I owe my subtle Widow, then, for this.

[Aside.
MRS. FRAMPTON.
Briefly, we went to church. The ceremony
Scarcely was huddled over, and the ring
Yet cold upon her finger, when they parted—
He to his ship; and we to school got back,
Scarce miss'd, before the dinner-bell could ring.

SELBY.
And from that hour—

MRS. FRAMPTON.
Nor sight, nor news of him,
For aught that I could hear, she e'er obtain'd.

SELBY.
Like to a man that hovers in suspense
Over a letter just receiv'd, on which
The black seal hath impress'd its ominous token,
Whether to open it or no, so I
Suspended stand, whether to press my fate
Further, or check ill curiosity,
That tempts me to more loss.—The name, the name
Of this fine youth?

MRS. FRAMPTON.
What boots it, if 'twere told?

SELBY.
Now, by our loves,
And by my hopes of happier wedlocks, some day
To be accomplish'd, give me his name!

MRS. FRAMPTON.
'Tis no such serious matter. It was—Huntingdon.

SELBY.
[Aside.

MRS. FRAMPTON.
How, sir! I like not this.

[Aside.
SELBY.
No, no, I meant
Nothing but good to thee. That other woman,
How shall I call her but evasive, false,
And treacherous?—by the trust I place in thee,
Tell me, and tell me truly, was the name
As you pronounced it?

MRS. FRAMPTON.
Huntingdon—the name,
Which his paternal grandfather assumed,
Together with the estates, of a remote
Kinsman: but our high-spirited youth—

SELBY.
Yes—

MRS. FRAMPTON.
Disdaining
For sordid pelf to truck the family honours,
At risk of the lost estates, resumed the old style,
And answer'd only to the name of—

SELBY.
What—

MRS. FRAMPTON.
Of Halford—

SELBY.
[Aside. He makes the signal.

Enter Lucy and Katherine.
MRS. FRAMPTON.
Interrupted!

SELBY.
My sister here! and see, where with her comes
My serpent gliding in an angel's form,
To taint the new-born Eden of our joys.
Why should we fear them? We'll not stir a foot,
Nor coy it for their pleasures.

[He courts the Widow.
LUCY
(to Katherine).
This your free,
And sweet ingenuous confession, binds me
For ever to you; and it shall go hard,
But it shall fetch you back your husband's heart,
That now seems blindly straying; or at worst,
In me you have still a sister.—Some wives, brother,
Would think it strange, to catch their husbands thus
Alone with a trim widow; but your Katherine
Is arm'd, I think, with patience.

KATHERINE.
I am fortified
With knowledge of self-faults to endure worse wrongs,
If they be wrongs, than he can lay upon me;
Even to look on, and see him sue in earnest,
As now I think he does it but in seeming,
To that ill woman.

SELBY.
Good words, gentle Kate,
And not a thought irreverent of our Widow.
Why, 'twere unmannerly at any time,
But most uncourteous on our wedding day,
When we should shew most hospitable.—Some wine. [Wine is brought.

I am for sports. And now I do remember,
The old Egyptians at their banquets placed
A charnel sight of dead men's skulls before them,
With images of cold mortality,
To temper their fierce joys when they grew rampant.
I like the custom well: and ere we crown
With freer mirth the day, I shall propose,
In calmest recollection of our spirits,
We drink the solemn ‘Memory of the dead’—

MRS. FRAMPTON.
Or the supposed dead—

[Aside to him.
SELBY.
[She fills.

KATHERINE.
I catch the awful import of your words;
And, though I could accuse you of unkindness,
Yet as your lawful and obedient wife,
While that name lasts (as I perceive it fading,
Nor I much longer may have leave to use it)
I calmly take the office you impose;
And on my knees, imploring their forgiveness,
Whom I in heav'n or earth may have offended,
Exempt from starting tears, and woman's weakness,
I pledge you, sir—The Memory of the Dead!

[She drinks kneeling.
SELBY.
'Tis gently and discreetly said, and like
My former loving Kate.

MRS. FRAMPTON.
Does he relent?

[Aside.
SELBY.
That ceremony past, we give the day
To unabated sport. And, in requital
Of certain stories, and quaint allegories,
Which my rare Widow hath been telling to me
To raise my morning mirth, if she will lend
Her patient hearing, I will here recite
A Parable; and, the more to suit her taste,
The scene is laid in the East.

MRS. FRAMPTON.
I long to hear it.
Some tale, to fit his wife.

[Aside.
KATHERINE.
Now, comes my Trial.

LUCY.
The hour of your deliverance is at hand,
If I presage right. Bear up, gentlest sister.

SELBY.
“The sultan Haroun”—Stay—O now I have it—
“The Caliph Haroun in his orchards had
A fruit-tree, bearing such delicious fruits,
That he reserved them for his proper gust;
And through the Palace it was Death proclaim'd
To any one that should purloin the same.”

MRS. FRAMPTON.
A heavy penance for so light a fault—

SELBY.
Pray you, be silent, else you put me out.
“A crafty page, that for advantage watch'd,
Detected in the act a brother page,
Of his own years, that was his bosom friend;
And thenceforth he became that other's lord,
And like a tyrant he demean'd himself,
Laid forced exactions on his fellow's purse;
And when that poor means fail'd, held o'er his head
Threats of impending death in hideous forms;
Till the small culprit on his nightly couch
Dream'd of strange pains, and felt his body writhe
In tortuous pangs around the impaling stake.”

MRS. FRAMPTON.
I like not this beginning—

SELBY.
Pray you, attend.
“The Secret, like a night-hag, rid his sleeps,
And took the youthful pleasures from his days,
And chased the youthful smoothness from his brow,
That from a rose-cheek'd boy he waned and waned
To a pale skeleton of what he was;
And would have died, but for one lucky chance.”

KATHERINE.
Oh!

MRS. FRAMPTON.
Your wife—she faints—some cordial—smell to this.

SELBY.
Stand off. My sister best will do that office.

MRS. FRAMPTON.
Are all his tempting speeches come to this?

[Aside.
SELBY.
What ail'd my wife?

KATHERINE.
A warning faintness, sir,
Seized on my spirits, when you came to where
You said “a lucky chance.” I am better now,
Please you go on.

SELBY.
The sequel shall be brief.

KATHERINE.
But, brief or long, I feel my fate hangs on it.

[Aside.
SELBY.
“One morn the Caliph, in a covert hid,
Close by an arbour where the two boys talk'd,
(As oft, we read, that Eastern sovereigns
Would play the eaves-dropper, to learn the truth,
Imperfectly received from mouths of slaves,)
O'erheard their dialogue; and heard enough
To judge aright the cause, and know his cue.
The following day a Cadi was despatched
To summon both before the judgment seat;
The lickerish culprit, almost dead with fear,
And the informing friend, who readily,
Fired with fair promises of large reward,
And Caliph's love, the hateful truth disclosed.”

MRS. FRAMPTON.
What did the Caliph to the offending boy,
That had so grossly err'd?

SELBY.
His sceptred hand
He forth in token of forgiveness stretch'd,
And clapp'd his cheeks, and courted him with gifts,
And he became once more his favourite page.

MRS. FRAMPTON.
But for that other—

SELBY.
He dismiss'd him straight,
From dreams of grandeur, and of Caliph's love,
To the bare cottage on the withering moor,
Where friends, turn'd fiends, and hollow confidants,
And widows, hide, who, in a husband's ear
Pour baneful truths, but tell not all the truth;
And told him not that Robin Halford died
Some moons before his marriage-bells were rung.
Too near dishonour hast thou trod, dear wife,
And on a dangerous cast our fates were set;
But Heav'n, that will'd our wedlock to be blest,
Hath interposed to save it gracious too.
Your penance is—to dress your cheek in smiles,
And to be once again my merry Kate.—
Sister, your hand,
Your wager won makes me a happy man,
Though poorer, Heav'n knows, by a thousand pounds
The sky clears up after a dubious day.
Widow, your hand. I read a penitence
In this dejected brow; and in this shame
Your fault is buried. You shall in with us,
And, if it please you, taste our nuptial fare:
For, till this moment, I can joyful say
Was never truly Selby's Wedding Day.