University of Virginia Library

A POETICAL CHAPTER ON TAILS.

One evening three boys did their father assail
With “Tell us a tale, papa—tell us a tale!”
“A tale?” said their father, “Oh yes! you shall see,
That a tale of all tails it this evening shall be;
A tale having reference to all tails whatever,
Of air or of ocean, of field or of river!
First the tail of a cat—now this tail can express
All passions, all humours, than language no less.”
“Oh, you're joking, papa,” cried at once all the three,
“Yours are tails with an i, and not tails with an e!”
“Well, well,” said their father, “I shall be surprised,
If my tails with an i in the end are despised;
So, sirs, I'll proceed: Now this tail, as I said,
Expresses what moves her in heart or in head.
Is she pleased—you know it is quiet, no doubt;
Is she angry—you know how she wags it about;
Would she coax you—she rubs, and she purrs, and her tail,
With her back at right angles, she lifts like a rail.
Then the tail of a dog—you need hardly be told,
What tales this same tail of a dog can unfold;
In his joy how he wags it—from turnspit to hound;
In his trouble, poor rogue! how it droops to the ground.
Then the tails of the horse and the cow, need I say
What useful and excellent fly-flaps are they?
But away! and the hot sandy deserts exploring,
Do you hear how the terrible lion is roaring?
And see in the thicket his fiery eye flashing,
And his furious tail on his tawny sides lashing!
Yes, he is the king of all beasts, and can send
Most marvellous power to his very tail's end.
The same with the tiger—and so of each kind,
The tail is a capital index of mind.
Then the tail of the rattle-snake—should you not fear
Its dry, husky sound in the forest to hear?
Suppose you were sleeping, the tree-roots your bed,
And this terrible monster had crept to your head,
And his tail should awake you—I'm sure you'd be glad
That a tail with a larum the rattle-snake had.
A propos of the snake—you've heard, I dare say,
Of the wasp and the hornet, and such things as they;
Of a venomous weapon they carry about,
And moreover, you all know, I make not a doubt,
That 'tis placed in the tail, which same venomous thing
The wise of all nations have christened a sting.
But the tail of a bird for no mischief is sent,
A most scientific, and good instrument,
Constructed, indeed, on an excellent plan,
Light, flexible too, and spread out like a fan;
'Tis ballast and rudder, which ill he could spare,
And a buoy to keep up the small creature in air.
Of the ostrich the tail is an elegant thing,
Which is not despised by the mightiest king,
And the handsomest ladies, I often have heard,
Give a monstrous price for the tail of this bird.
Then the sweet bird of Paradise—don't you remember
The beautiful creature we saw last November,
With his banner-like tail, that gracefully spread,
And was seen like a glory encircling his head?
Of that of the peacock no word will I say,
The thing is so common, you see it each day.
And now your attention to change I could wish
To a different tail—even that of a fish;
And no less than the tail of this bird is this made
With wonderful knowledge the creature to aid;
'Tis his helm, and without it no more could he keep,
Than a ship without rudder, his place in the deep,
And the wisest philosophers all have decided,
That no fitter instrument could be provided.
That the shark, my dear boys, has a tail without doubt,
From some book or other you've long since made out;
And you know how it puts, without hesitation,
The crew of a ship into great consternation,
When he flaps down his tail on the deck, and no wonder,
For, like a sledge-hammer, it falleth in thunder;
And lest that its force 'gainst the ship should prevail,
The first thing they do is to chop off his tail!
Besides there are others—the monkey's tail; you
Know well what a monkey with his tail can do.
And have we forgotten the beaver? it yields
The poor, patient creature great help when he builds,
'Tis the wagon he draws his materials upon,
'Tis the trowel to finish his work when 'tis done.
Of the fox, too, in Norway, you've heard without fail,
How he angles for crabs with his great bushy tail.
And there is the pigtail that gentlemen wore,
With its various fashions, about half a score.
And the great cat-o'-nine-tails! that terrible beast
Has made itself famous by its tails, at least.
And the tail of a comet! that tail, in its strength,
Extending some thousands of miles in its length,
Is nothing to laugh at; a most awful thing,
That could sweep down the world with its terrible swing!
And now, since we've conned over bird, beast, and fish,
What greater amusement, my boys, could you wish?
But the next time, however, I think we must try
For some nobler subject than tails with an i:
And so, good-night to each one, now this the last line is—
And the book and the chapter shall here have their FINIS.