University of Virginia Library


25

ADVICE GRATIS

If lightning-like you send her down,
And yet the batsman scores
With here a One and there a Two,
And then a brace of Fours;
If calmly confident he stands,
And makes the leather fly
Past all your slips to dash against
The boundary palings, why—
Toss him down a slow, you see,
He's sure to have a go, you see;
And ten to one the trick is done
By just a bit of brains, you see!

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If round the wicket, medium pace,
Won't make the batsman budge,
Take special note of what he likes,
And all his weakness judge.
Suppose he does the leg-glance well,
Or drives her hot and high,
Or runs to smother each good ball
And pulls the short ones, why—
Sling him in a grub, you see,
A ripping, wicked grub, you see;
And ten to one the trick is done
By just a pinch of wit, you see!
But if with equal craft he meets
Your wiles, and does not blench;
If ev'ry bowler in your team
Desires the restful bench,

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And there he stands, the unsubdued,
With dauntless front and eye,
Prepared to smack your choicest balls
To realms unheard-of, why—
Don't ask my advice, you see,
No, not at any price, you see;
But ten to one the trick were done
If I were in your team, you see!