 | The Poems of Mackenzie Bell |  |
134
HUMOROUS POEMS.
WAITING FOR THE DENTIST.
Though many dismal years I've been
To dull old Care apprenticed,
Of smaller woes the worst I've seen
Is—waiting for the dentist!
To dull old Care apprenticed,
Of smaller woes the worst I've seen
Is—waiting for the dentist!
How dreary is the cheerless room
Where pain must bide his pleasure,
The very chairs are steeped in gloom
And seem to grieve at leisure,
Where pain must bide his pleasure,
The very chairs are steeped in gloom
And seem to grieve at leisure,
As if his patients' molar grief,
So uncontrolled its swelling,
For its fierce tide had sought relief
By deluging the dwelling!
So uncontrolled its swelling,
For its fierce tide had sought relief
By deluging the dwelling!
Books cannot soothe a rampant tooth
Though they enrich a table,
Sorrow alone seems kin to truth,
And joy a lying fable.
Though they enrich a table,
Sorrow alone seems kin to truth,
And joy a lying fable.
135
When from the window you, perchance,
Behold sweet girlhood's graces,
They only make you look askance
And think how sore your face is.
Behold sweet girlhood's graces,
They only make you look askance
And think how sore your face is.
On many chairs and sofas, too,
More martyrs round you languish,
You glance at them, they glance at you,
And give a groan of anguish.
More martyrs round you languish,
You glance at them, they glance at you,
And give a groan of anguish.
You deem it hard their turn arrives
Before you in rotation,
Or they wax wrath that yours deprives
Their case of consolation.
Before you in rotation,
Or they wax wrath that yours deprives
Their case of consolation.
You muse upon the ruthless wrench
That buys a tooth's departing,
Or how the stopping-pangs to quench,
In which you may be starting;
That buys a tooth's departing,
Or how the stopping-pangs to quench,
In which you may be starting;
Or haply on these ivory chips
Harsh Nature may deny you,
But which the “golden key” equips
Man's genius to supply you.
Harsh Nature may deny you,
But which the “golden key” equips
Man's genius to supply you.
No words your mood of mind express,
A mood devoid of quiet,
Where pain, delight, and keen distress
Mingle in hopeless riot.
A mood devoid of quiet,
Where pain, delight, and keen distress
Mingle in hopeless riot.
Yes, though much sorrow one must know
While to old Care apprenticed,
The greatest unheroic woe
Is—waiting for the dentist!
While to old Care apprenticed,
The greatest unheroic woe
Is—waiting for the dentist!
136
APOSTROPHE TO AN INK-BOTTLE IN A HOTEL COFFEE-ROOM.
'Tis strange to think how oft your aid
Has been invoked, and then
To think how often you are made
A confidant, and when.
Has been invoked, and then
To think how often you are made
A confidant, and when.
Prosaic words of business life
By you have been expressed;
And you have told what fears were rife
Within a lover's breast.
By you have been expressed;
And you have told what fears were rife
Within a lover's breast.
Perchance a little girl or boy
Released from schoolday fetters,
Intent on games, and flushed with joy,
Employs you for home letters.
Released from schoolday fetters,
Intent on games, and flushed with joy,
Employs you for home letters.
A husband forced, though leal and true,
In some new land to dwell,
To his dear wife indites by you
A passionate farewell.
In some new land to dwell,
To his dear wife indites by you
A passionate farewell.
There enters now a seeming “swell,”
Eager, yet half afraid, he
Impresses you for a “billet doux”
On business rather “shady.”
Eager, yet half afraid, he
Impresses you for a “billet doux”
On business rather “shady.”
“Commercials” pen a dazzling dream
Of greatly grown “connection”;
And next you aid the swelling stream
Of filial affection
Of greatly grown “connection”;
And next you aid the swelling stream
Of filial affection
137
Which flows in sorrow, as a son,
From his fond mother parted,
Grieves that his course, alas, has run
So far from whence it started.
From his fond mother parted,
Grieves that his course, alas, has run
So far from whence it started.
Helper of all! from day to day,
What'er their situation,
You win no thanks; each goes away,
Feeling no obligation!
What'er their situation,
You win no thanks; each goes away,
Feeling no obligation!
MOONLIGHT ON THE TAGUS.
The moon shines o'er the Tagus. Now a flood
Of soft-spun sparkling radiance clothes the scene
With dazzling splendour, save where shadows lie
Upon the river's bosom, sheltering there
The coward Darkness, here dethroned awhile,
By the moon's great though seeming gentle might.
Ah me, how beautiful! Deep azure sky,
Deep azure sea, and steadfast-beaming stars,—
A dreamy blissful languor stealeth fast
Over my soul while musing pensively
On this fair vista steeped in rapt repose,
And I forget the busy throng of life
That it presents by day,—and almost now
I could imagine it some magic realm
Enchanted in far fairyland, beyond
The power of mortal reach.
Of soft-spun sparkling radiance clothes the scene
With dazzling splendour, save where shadows lie
Upon the river's bosom, sheltering there
The coward Darkness, here dethroned awhile,
By the moon's great though seeming gentle might.
Ah me, how beautiful! Deep azure sky,
Deep azure sea, and steadfast-beaming stars,—
A dreamy blissful languor stealeth fast
Over my soul while musing pensively
On this fair vista steeped in rapt repose,
And I forget the busy throng of life
That it presents by day,—and almost now
I could imagine it some magic realm
Enchanted in far fairyland, beyond
The power of mortal reach.
But soon a voice
Says, “Supper's come at last, let's eat, and then to bed.”
Says, “Supper's come at last, let's eat, and then to bed.”
| The Poems of Mackenzie Bell | |