The poems and literary prose of Alexander Wilson ... for the first time fully collected and compared with the original and early editions ... edited ... by the Rev. Alexander B. Grosart ... with portrait, illustrations, &c |
 | I. |
|
THE INSULTED PEDLAR.
|
| II. |
|
| I. |
| II. |
| III. |
| IV. |
| V. |
| VI. |
| VII. |
|
| III. |
|
| IV. |
 | The poems and literary prose of Alexander Wilson |  |
THE INSULTED PEDLAR.
A POETICAL TALE RELATED BY HIMSELF.
Honi Soit Qui Mal y Pense.
O Ye, my poor sca't brethren a',
Wha mony a time wi' hungry maw,
Implore the beild o' some barn wa',
Wi' hurdies sair;
Now to the deil your boxes blaw,
And beg nae mair.
Wha mony a time wi' hungry maw,
Implore the beild o' some barn wa',
Wi' hurdies sair;
Now to the deil your boxes blaw,
And beg nae mair.
I've seen the day, but faith it's gane,
When roun' farm-towns, frae ane to ane,
The shortest route we might have ta'en,
Nor been molested;
But now wi' stabs, an' lime, an' stane,
We're vext an' pested.
When roun' farm-towns, frae ane to ane,
The shortest route we might have ta'en,
Nor been molested;
But now wi' stabs, an' lime, an' stane,
We're vext an' pested.
36
The deil a fit ye owre dare set,
But trudge lang twa mile to the yett,
Or by the Lord ye'll aiblins get
Your legs in chains;
Or skelpit back wi' haffits het,
And broken banes.
But trudge lang twa mile to the yett,
Or by the Lord ye'll aiblins get
Your legs in chains;
Or skelpit back wi' haffits het,
And broken banes.
Ae nicht short syne as hame I trampit,
Beneath my pack, wi' banes sair crampit,
But owre a wee bit dyke I lampit,
And trottin burn;
There to do for my ain bethankit,
A needfu' turn.
Beneath my pack, wi' banes sair crampit,
But owre a wee bit dyke I lampit,
And trottin burn;
There to do for my ain bethankit,
A needfu' turn.
Aweel, I scarcely had begun
To ope the evacuating gun,
I'll swear they hadna reached the grun,
When frae the wud
A bellied gent, steps owre the run,
Wi' “Dem your blood!
To ope the evacuating gun,
I'll swear they hadna reached the grun,
When frae the wud
A bellied gent, steps owre the run,
Wi' “Dem your blood!
“By whose authority or order
Came ye upon this corn-rig border,
To rowe your filth and reeking ordour
On me a Bailie?
Hence wi' your dirt, else by the Lord, or
Lang, I'll jail ye.”
Came ye upon this corn-rig border,
To rowe your filth and reeking ordour
On me a Bailie?
Hence wi' your dirt, else by the Lord, or
Lang, I'll jail ye.”
I gloweret a wee, syne fetched a grane,
“Deed sir, through mony a lane I've gane,
An' gin ye raise me frae this stane,
Ne'er laird or lady
Attempted such a job their lane,
Till I was ready.
“Deed sir, through mony a lane I've gane,
An' gin ye raise me frae this stane,
Ne'er laird or lady
Attempted such a job their lane,
Till I was ready.
37
“Gin ye can prove, by pen or tongue,
That lan' ne'er profited by dung,
That by its influence corn ne'er sprung,
Though I should lumple,
I'se thole a thump o' that hard rung,
Out owre my rumple.
That lan' ne'er profited by dung,
That by its influence corn ne'er sprung,
Though I should lumple,
I'se thole a thump o' that hard rung,
Out owre my rumple.
“My order, sir, was Nature's laws,
That was the reason, and because
Necessity's demands and ca's
War very gleg,
I hunkered down 'mang thir hard wa's
To lay my egg.
That was the reason, and because
Necessity's demands and ca's
War very gleg,
I hunkered down 'mang thir hard wa's
To lay my egg.
“And sir, I'm seeking naething frae ye;
My offering here I freely lea you,
Sic presents ilka ane wont gie you,
Tak' ye my word,
Ye're richer since I first did see you,
That reeking turd.”
My offering here I freely lea you,
Sic presents ilka ane wont gie you,
Tak' ye my word,
Ye're richer since I first did see you,
That reeking turd.”
Scarce had I spoke, when owre he sprung,
And rais't a yellow knotted rung,
And aim't at me a dreadfu' fung,
Wi' foaming spite;
But owre my head it suchin swung,
Dash on the dyke.
And rais't a yellow knotted rung,
And aim't at me a dreadfu' fung,
Wi' foaming spite;
But owre my head it suchin swung,
Dash on the dyke.
I started up and lap the dyke,
“Now, curse ye, sir, come when you like,
I'll send this stick, armed wi' a pike,
Amang your painches;
Ye ugly, greasy, girnin' tyke,
Now guard your hainches.”
“Now, curse ye, sir, come when you like,
I'll send this stick, armed wi' a pike,
Amang your painches;
Ye ugly, greasy, girnin' tyke,
Now guard your hainches.”
38
He roared a most tremendous oath,
That Satan's sell wi' shame wad loath,
While frae his devilish mouth the froth
Flew aff wi' squatter;
Then raised a stane, as dead's a moth
My brains to batter.
That Satan's sell wi' shame wad loath,
While frae his devilish mouth the froth
Flew aff wi' squatter;
Then raised a stane, as dead's a moth
My brains to batter.
When at this instant o' the faught,
A gentleman came belly-flaught,
And in his arms the tiger caught,
Wi' frighted tone;
Exclaiming, “Lord's sake, Mr. L---
What has he done?”
A gentleman came belly-flaught,
And in his arms the tiger caught,
Wi' frighted tone;
Exclaiming, “Lord's sake, Mr. L---
What has he done?”
Here I stood forth to bring't to a bearing,
“Please, sir, to grant a patient hearing,
An' I'll unravel what your speering,
To your contentment;
Let go the bitch, don't think I'm fearing
The fool's resentment.”
“Please, sir, to grant a patient hearing,
An' I'll unravel what your speering,
To your contentment;
Let go the bitch, don't think I'm fearing
The fool's resentment.”
Sae I related a' the matter,
That raised between us sic a clatter;
At which he laughed till fairly water
Reliev'd his e'en;
While the grim wretches baith did clatter
Wi' malice keen.
That raised between us sic a clatter;
At which he laughed till fairly water
Reliev'd his e'en;
While the grim wretches baith did clatter
Wi' malice keen.
“Now, sir, compose yoursel' a wee;
Tak' aff your hat an' join wi' me,
While for this sinner black I gie
My earnest prayer;
Whilk frae my very saul on hie
I here uprear.
Tak' aff your hat an' join wi' me,
While for this sinner black I gie
My earnest prayer;
Whilk frae my very saul on hie
I here uprear.
39
“Great Jove! before Thee here is seen,
A human bear, a speaking swine,
Wha wi' dread oaths, and fiery e'en,
And devilish feature,
Has dared to curse a work o' Thine
For easing nature.
A human bear, a speaking swine,
Wha wi' dread oaths, and fiery e'en,
And devilish feature,
Has dared to curse a work o' Thine
For easing nature.
“On him pour plagues without restraint,
Wi' restless buneuchs him torment,
Till through fierce purgin' he be spent
As tume's a blether;
And that big wame that's now sae bent,
Be a' lowse leather.
Wi' restless buneuchs him torment,
Till through fierce purgin' he be spent
As tume's a blether;
And that big wame that's now sae bent,
Be a' lowse leather.
“And when he limps wi' gout and spavie,
Through jaunering crowds, held as a knave aye,
There may't attack him, while a privie
In vain he seeks,
Till he be forc'd to blow't the gravie
Just in his breeks!
Through jaunering crowds, held as a knave aye,
There may't attack him, while a privie
In vain he seeks,
Till he be forc'd to blow't the gravie
Just in his breeks!
“Whene'er he drinks to raise the flame,
Syne hurries hame to Venus' game,
May cauld yill clankin' in his wame
Wi' hurlin' rum'le,
Aft force him to forsake the dame
Wi' spoulin' whum'le.
Syne hurries hame to Venus' game,
May cauld yill clankin' in his wame
Wi' hurlin' rum'le,
Aft force him to forsake the dame
Wi' spoulin' whum'le.
“Then may he rue (although owre late
To stop the yellin' roarin' spate)
That e'er he curst, or vicious flate
On pedlar Sawney;
And e'en envy his blessed fate
Wha sat sae canny.
To stop the yellin' roarin' spate)
That e'er he curst, or vicious flate
On pedlar Sawney;
And e'en envy his blessed fate
Wha sat sae canny.
40
“And Lord! an answer soon sen' back,
And let him see Thy han's na slack.
Amen, amen,—put on your hat,
And haud the bear in.”
So up I swung my verdant pack,
And left him swearin'.
And let him see Thy han's na slack.
Amen, amen,—put on your hat,
And haud the bear in.”
So up I swung my verdant pack,
And left him swearin'.
| The poems and literary prose of Alexander Wilson | |