Miscellaneous poems :: :: University of Virginia Library

A brow-beat Husband, and Triumphant Wife,
Grant me, ye Pow'rs, O grant me such a Life;
You nicer Dames, who think it a hard Sentence,
To buy short Pleasures with such long Repentance;

Were matrimonial Broils thus always carry'd,
Tell me, Who wou'd not covet to be marry'd?

Tho' my kind Aunt here, hardly cou'd agree,
That State was fit for one so young as me,
—As if I did not know What's What as well as she.
As well as She—No, that was too far wrought on,
Since She has practis'd what I only thought on:
She felt,—I fancy'd Joys beyond expressing:
You marry'd Ladies—an't I good at Guessing?

Young, tho' I seem unfit for such a Toil,
With this poor Face, and some small Share of Wit,
At his own Weapons, I'd engage to foil,
The wisest, gravest He-Thing in the Pit.
Well, you may laugh—but pray before you flout me,
Or, by your gay Behaviour, seem to doubt me,
Let me be heard—then say—you need not flatter,
If I han't fine Ideas of that Matter?

Were I to chuse a Husband; he should be
A Man, no doubt on't—ay—but let me see,
A Fool—not rotten-ripe, but barely mellow,
Such as you Ladies call a pretty Fellow;
A Thing bred up a Beau, tam'd to my Hand,
With little Brains, but with a deal of Land:
One of these Fops, who crowd behind our Scenes,
To shew their ill-shap'd Legs, and awkward Miens;
Their want of Sense to the whole Pit expose,
To charm the Boxes with embroider'd Cloaths:
Such, cou'd I find, I'd shew you humble Wives,
In how much Ignorance you spend your Lives;
Submission makes Men proud and domineering,
And 'faith, I see no middle Course of Steering;
To rein them hard's the Way; for not to jest,
'Tis better tyranize, than be oppress'd.

Now, if you doubt my Skill, in these Affairs,
E'en let him try, and be convinc'd, who dares.