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Quicquid agunt homines, votum, timor, Ira, voluptas,
Gaudia, discursus, nostri est farrago libelli.


145

THE EIGHTH SATYR OF JUVENAL,

Translated into ENGLISH VERSE BY Mr. G. STEPNY, Fellow of Trinity College in CAMBRIDGE.


146

ARGUMENT OF THE Eighth Satyr.

In this Satyr, the Poet proves that Nobility does not consist in Statues and Pedigrees, but in Honourable and Good Actions: He lashes Rubellius Plancus, for being Insolent, by Reason of his High Birth; and lays down an Instance that we ought to make the like Judgment of Men, as we do of Horses, who are valued rather according to their Personal Qualities, than by the Race of whence they come. He advises his Noble Friend Ponticus (to whom he Dedicates the Satyr) to lead a Virtuous Life, disswading him from Debauchery, Luxury, Oppression, Cruelty, and other Vices, by his severe Censures on Lateranus, Damasippus, Gracchus, Nero, Catiline; And in Opposition to these, displays the worth of Persons Meanly Born, such as Cicero, Marius, Servius Tullius, and the Decii.


147

What's the advantage, or the real Good,
In traceing from the Source our ancient Blood?
To have our Ancestors in Paint or Stone
Preserv'd as Reliques, or, like Monsters, shewn?
The Brave Æmilii, as in Triumph plac'd,
The Virtuous Curii, half by Time defac'd;
Corvinus, with a mouldring Nose, that bears
Injurious Scars, (the sad Effects of Years;)
And Galba grinning without Nose or Ears?
Vain are their Hopes, who fancy to inherit
By Trees of Pedigrees, or Fame, or Merit;
Tho plodding Heralds through each Branch may trace
Old Captains and Dictators of their Race,
While their Ill Lives that Family belye,
And grieve the Brass which stands dishonour'd by.
'Tis meer Burlesque, that to our Gen'rals praise,
Their Progeny immortal Statues raise,

148

Yet (far from that old Gallantry) delight
To game before their Images all night,
And steal to Bed at the approach of day,
The hour when these their Ensigns did display.
Why shou'd soft Eabius impudently bear
Names gain'd by Conquests in the Gallic War?
Why lays he claim to Hercules his Strain,
Yet dares be Base, Effeminate, and Vain?
The glorious Altar to that Hero built,
Adds but a greater Lustre to his Guilt,
Whose tender Limbs, and polisht Skin, disgrace
The grisly Beauty of his Manly Race;
And who by practising the dismal skill
Of Poys'ning, and such treacherous ways to kill,
Makes his unhappy Kindred-Marble sweat,
When his degenerate Head by theirs is set.
Long Galleries of Ancestors, and all
Those Follies which ill-grace a Country-Hall,
Challenge no Wonder or Esteem from me;
“Virtue alone is true Nobility.
Live therefore well: To Men and Gods appear,
Such as Good Paulus, Cossus, Drusus were;
And in thy Consular triumphal Shew,
Let These before thy Father's Statues go;
Place 'em before the Ensigns of the State,
As chusing rather to be Good than Great.

149

Convince the World that you're devout and true,
Be just in all you say, and all you do;
Whatever be your Birth, you're sure to be
A Peer of the first Magnitude to me:
Rome for your sake shall push her Conquests on,
And bring New Titles home from Nations won,
To Dignifie so Eminent a Son:
With your blest Name shall every Region sound,
Loud as mad Egypt, when her Priests have found
A new Osyris, for the Ox they drown'd.
But who will call those Noble, who deface,
By meaner Acts, the Glories of their Race;
Whose only Title to their Father's Fame
Is couch'd in the dead Letters of their Name?
A Dwarf as well may for a Gyant pass;
A Negro for a Swan; a Crook-back'd Lass
Be call'd Europa; and a Cur may bear
The Name of Tyger, Lion, or what-e're
Denotes the Noblest or the Fiercest Beast:
Be therefore careful, lest the World in jeast
Shou'd thee just so with the Mock-titles greet,
Of Camerinus, or of Conquer'd Crete.
To whom is this Advice and Censure due?
Rubellius Plancus, 'tis apply'd to you;
Who think your Person second to Divine,
Because descended from the Drufian Line;

150

Tho yet you no Illustrious Act have done
To make the World distinguish Julia's Son
From the vile Offspring of a Trull, who sits
By the Town-Wall, and for her Living knits.
You are poor Rogues (you cry) the baser Scum
And inconsiderable Dregs of Rome;
Who know not from what Corner of the Earth
The obscure Wretch, who got you, stole his Birth:
Mine, I derive from Cecrops —May your Grace
Live, and enjoy the Splendour of your Race—.
Yet of these base Plebeians we have known
Some, who, by charming Eloquence, have grown
Great Senators, and Honours to that Gown:
Some at the Bar with Subtilty defend
The Cause of an unlearned Noble Friend;
Or on the Bench the knotty Laws untye:
Others their stronger Youth to Arms apply,
Go to Euphrates, or those Forces join
Which Garrison the Conquests near the Rhine.
While you, Rubellius, on your Birth relye;
Tho you resemble your Great Family
No more, than those rough Statues on the Road
(Which we call Mercuries) are like that God:
Your Blockhead tho excels in this alone,
You are a Living Statue, that of Stone.
Great Son of Troy, who ever prais'd a Beast
For being of a Race above the rest,

151

But rather meant his Courage, and his Force?
To give an Instance—We commend an Horse
(Without regard of Pasture, or of Breed)
For his undaunted Mettle and his speed;
Who wins most Plates with greatest ease, and first
Prints with his Hoofs his Conquest on the Dust.
But if fleet Dragon's Progeny at last
Proves jaded, and in frequent Matches cast,
No favour for the Stallion we retain,
And no respect for the Degenerate strain;
The worthless Brute is from New-Market brought,
And at an under-rate in Smith-Field bought,
To turn a Mill, or drag a Loaded Life
Beneath two Panniers, and a Baker's Wife.
That we may therefore you, not yours, admire;
First, Sir, some Honour of your own acquire;
Add to that Stock which justly we bestow
On those Blest Shades to whom you all things owe.
This may suffice the Haughty Youth to shame,
Whose swelling Veins (if we may Credit Fame)
Burst almost with the Vanity and Pride,
That their Rich Flood to Nero's is ally'd:
The Rumour's likely; for “We seldom find
“Much sence with an Exalted Fortune join'd.

152

But, Ponticus, I wou'd not you shou'd raise
Your Credit by Hereditary praise;
Let your own Acts Immortalize your Name;
“'Tis Poor relying on another's Fame;
For, take the Pillars but away, and all
The Superstructure must in Ruins fall;
As a Vine droops, when by Divorce remov'd
From the Embraces of the Elm she lov'd.
Be a good Souldier, or upright Trustee,
An Arbitrator from Corruption free,
And if a Witness in a doubtful Cause,
Where a brib'd Judge means to elude the Laws;
Tho' Phalaris his Brazen Bull were there,
And He wou'd dictate what he'd have yuo swear,
Be not so Profligate, but rather chuse
To guard your Honour, and your Life to lose,
Rather than let your Virtue be betray'd;
Virtue, the Noble Cause for which you're made.
“Improperly we measure Life by Breath;
“Such do not truly Live who merit Death;
Tho they their wanton Sences nicely please
With all the Charms of Luxury and Ease;
Tho mingled Flow'rs adorn their careless Brow,
And round 'em costly Sweets neglected flow;

153

As if they in their Funeral State were laid,
And to the World, as they're to Virtue, Dead.
When You the Province you expect, obtain,
From Passion and from Avarice refrain;
Let our Associates Poverty provoke
Thy generous Heart not to encrease their Yoke,
Since Riches cannot rescue from the Grave,
Which claims alike the Monarch and the Slave.
To what the Laws enjoin, submission pay,
And what the Senate shall Command, Obey;
Think what Rewards upon the Good attend,
And how those fall unpitied who offend:
Tutor and Capito may Warnings be,
Who felt the Thunder of the States Decree
For robbing the Cilicians, tho they
(Like lesser Pikes) only subsist on Prey.
But what avails the Rigour of their Doom?
Which cannot future violence o'recome,
Nor give the Miserable Province ease,
Since what one Plund'rer left, the next will seize.
Cherippus then, in time your self bethink,
And what your Rags will yield by Auction, sink;
Ne're put your self to Charges to complain
Of Wrongs which heretofore you did sustain;

154

Make not a Voyage to detect the Theft,
“'Tis mad to Lavish what their Rapine left.
When Rome at first our Rich Allies subdu'd,
From gentle Taxes Noble Spoils accru'd;
Each wealthy Province, but in part Opprest,
Thought the Loss trivial, and enjoy'd the rest.
All Treasuries did then with Heaps abound;
In every Wardrobe costly Silks were found;
The least Apartment of the meanest House
Cou'd all the wealthy Pride of Art produce;
Pictures which from Parrhasius did receive
Motion and warmth; and Statues taught to live;
Some Polyclete's some, Myron's Work declar'd,
In others Phidia's Masterpiece appear'd;
And crowding Plate did on the Cupboard stand,
Emboss'd by curious Mentor's artful hand.
Prizes like these Oppressors might invite,
These Dolabella's Rapine did excite,
These Anthony for his own Theft thought fit,
Verres for these did Sacriledge commit;
And when their Reigns were ended, Ships full Fraught
The hidden Fruits of their Exaction brought,
Which made in Peace, a Treasure Richer far,
Than what is Plunder'd in the Rage of War.
This was of Old; But our Confederates now
Have nothing left but Oxen for the Plough,

155

Or some few Mares reserv'd alone for Breed;
Yet lest this provident Design succeed,
They drive the Father of the Herd away,
Making both Stallion, and his Pasture, Prey.
Their Rapine is so abject and prophane,
They nor from Trifles, nor from Gods refrain;
But the poor Lares from the Niches seize,
If they be little Images that please.
Such are the Spoils which now provoke their Theft,
And are the greatest, Nay they're all that's left.
Thus may You Corinth, or weak Rhodes oppress,
Who dare not bravely what they feel, redress:
(For how can Fops thy Tyranny controul
“Smooth Limbs are symptoms of a servile Soul)
But Trespass not too far on sturdy Spain,
Sclavonia, France; thy Gripes from those restrain,
Who with their sweat Rome's Luxury maintain;
And send us Plenty, while our wanton day
Is lavish'd at the Circus, or the Play.
For, shou'd you to Extortion be inclin'd,
Your Cruel Guilt will little Booty find,
Since gleaning Marius has already seiz'd
All that from Sun-burnt Africk can be squees'd.
But above all, “Be careful to with-hold
“Your Tallons from the Wretched and the Bold;

156

“Tempt not the Brave and Needy to Despair;
“For, tho your Violence shou'd leave 'em bare
“Of Gold and Silver, Swords and Darts remain,
“And will Revenge the Wrongs which they sustain,
“The Plundred still have Arms.—
Think not the Precept I have here laid down
A fond, uncertain Notion of my own;
No, 'tis a Sibyl's Leaf what I relate,
As fixt and sure, as the Decrees of Fate.
Let none but Men of Honour you attend;
Chuse him that has most Virtue for your Friend,
And give no way to any Darling Youth
To sell your Favour, and pervert the Truth.
Reclaim your Wife from stroling up and down,
To all Assizes, and through every Town,
With Claws like Harpies, eager for the Prey;
(For which your Justice, and your Fame will pay.)
Keep your self free from Scandals such as these;
Then Trace your Birth from Picus, if you please:
If he's too Modern, and your Pride aspire
To seek the Author of your Being higher,
Chuse any Titan who the Gods withstood,
To be the Founder of your Ancient blood,
Prometheus, and that Race before the flood,
Or any other Story you can find
From Heralds, or in Poets, to your mind.

157

But shou'd you prove Ambitious, Lustful, Vain;
Or cou'd you see with Pleasure and Disdain,
Rods broke on our Associates bleeding backs,
And Heads-Men lab'ring till they blunt their Ax:
Your Father's Glory will your Sin proclaim,
And to a clearer Light expose your shame;
“For, still more publick scandal Vice extends,
“As he is Great and Noble who offends.
How dare you then your high Extraction plead?
Yet blush not when you go to forge a Deed,
In the same Temple which your Grandsire built,
Making his Statue privy to the Guilt.
Or in a Bawdy Masquerade are led
Muffled by Night to some polluted Bed.
Fat Lateranus does his Revels keep
Where his Fore-Fathers peaceful Ashes sleep;
Driving himself a Chariot down the Hill,
And (tho a Consul) links himself the Wheel:
To do him Justice, 'tis indeed by Night,
Yet the Moon sees, and ev'ry smaller light
Pries as a Witness of the shameful sight:
Nay when his Year of Honour's ended, soon
He'll leave that nicety, and mount at Noon;
Nor blush shou'd he some Grave Acquaintance meet,
But, (proud of being known) will Jerk and Greet:

158

And when his Fellow-Beasts are weary grown,
He'll play the Groom, give Oats, and rub 'em down.
If after Numa's Ceremonial way
He at Jove's Altar wou'd a Victim slay,
To no clean Goddess he directs his Pray'rs,
But by Hippona most Devoutly Swears,
Or some rank Deity whose filthy face
We suitably o're stinking Stables place.
When he has run his length, and does begin
To steer his course directly for the Inn
(Where they have watch'd, expecting him all night)
A greasie Syrian, e're he can alight,
Presents him Essence, while his courteous Host
(Well knowing nothing by good breeding's lost)
Tags every Sentence with some fawning word,
Such as My King, My Prince, at least My Lord;
And a tight Maid, e're he for Wine can ask,
Guesses his Meaning, and unoils the Flask.
Some (Friends to Vice) industriously defend
These innocent Diversions, and pretend
That I the Tricks of Youth too roughly blame,
Alledging that, when young, we did the same.
I grant we did; yet when that age was past,
The frolick Humour did no longer last;
We did not cherish and indulge the Crime:
What's foul in acting, shou'd be left in time.

159

Tis true, some faults, of course, with Childhood end,
We therefore wink at Wags when they offend,
And spare the Boy, in hopes the Man may mend.
But Lateranus (now his vig'rous age
Shou'd prompt him for his Country to engage,
The Circuit of our Empire to extend,
And all our Lives, in Cæsar's, to defend),
Mature in Riots, places his Delight
All day in plying Bumpers, and at night
Reels to the Bawds, over whose Doors are set
Pictures and Bills, with Here are Whores to let.
Shou'd any desperate unexpected Fate
Summon all Heads and Hands to guard the State,
Cæsar, send quickly to secure the Port;
But where's the General? Where does he resort?
Send to the Sutler's; There you're sure to find
The Bully match'd with Rascals of his Kind,
Quacks, Coffin-Makers; Fugitives and Sailers;
Rooks, Common-Souldiers, Hangmen, Thieves and Tailers;
With Cybele's Priests, who, wearied with Processions,
Drink there, and sleep with Knaves of all Professions.
A Friendly Gang! each equal to the best;
And all, who can, have liberty to jest:
One Flaggon walks the round, (that none shou'd think
They either change, or stint him of his drink)
And lest Exceptions may for Place be found,
Their Stools are all alike, their Table round.

160

What think you, Ponticus, your self might do,
Shou'd any Slave, so lewd, belong to you?
No doubt, you'd send the Rogue in Fetters bound,
To work in Bridewell, or to Plough your Ground:
But, Nobles, you who Trace your Birth from Troy,
Think, you the great Prerogative enjoy
Of doing ill, by Virtue of that Race;
As if what we esteem in Coblers base,
Wou'd the high Family of Brutus grace.
Shameful are these Examples, yet we find
(To Rome's Disgrace) far worse than these behind:
Poor Damasippus, whom we once have known
Flutt'ring with Coach and Six about the Town,
Is forc'd to make the Stage his last retreat,
And Pawns his Voice, the All he has, for Meat:
For now he must (since his Estate is lost)
Or represent, or be himself, a Ghost:
And Lentulus Acts Hanging with such Art,
Were I a Judge, he shou'd not Feign the part.
Nor wou'd I their Vile insolence acquit,
Who can with Patience, nay Diversion, sit,
Applauding my Lord's Buffoonry for Wit.
And clapping Farces, Acted by the Court,
While the Peers Cuff, to make the Rabble sport:
Or Hirelings, at a Prize, their Fortunes try;
Certain to fall unpity'd if they Dye;

161

Since none can have the favourable Thought
That to Obey a Tyrant's Will they Fought,
But that their Lives they willingly expose,
Bought by the Prætors to adorn their shows.
Yet say the Stage and Lists were both in sight,
And you must either chuse to Act, or Fight;
Death never sure bears such a ghastly shape,
That a rank Coward basely wou'd escape
By playing a foul Harlot's jealous Tool,
Or a feign'd Andrew to a real Fool.
Yet a Peer-Actor is no monstrous thing,
Since Rome has own'd a Fidler for a King:
After such Pranks, the World it self at best
May be imagin'd nothing but a Jest.
Go to the Lists where Feats of Arms are shown,
There you'll find Gracchus, (from Patrician,) grown
A Fencer, and the Scandal of the Town.
Nor will he the Mirmillo's Weapons bear,
The Modest Helmet he Disdains to wear;
As Retiarius he Attacks his Foe;
First waves his Trident ready for the throw,
Next casts his Net, but neither levell'd right,
He stares about, expos'd to publick sight,
Then places all his safety in his flight.
Room for the Noble Gladiator! See
His Coat and Hatband shew his Quality;

162

Thus when at last the brave Mirmillo knew
'Twas Gracchus was the Wretch he did pursue,
To Conquer such a Coward griev'd him more,
Than if he many Glorious Wounds had bore.
Had we the freedom to express our Mind,
There's not a Wretch so much to Vice inclin'd,
But will own Seneca did far excell
His Pupil, by whose Tyranny he fell:
To expiate whose Complicated Guilt,
With some Proportion to the Blood he spilt,
Rome shou'd more Serpents, Apes, and Sacks provide
Than one, for the Compendious Parricide.
'Tis true Orestes a like Crime did Act;
Yet weigh the Cause, there's difference in the Fact:
He slew his Mother at the God's Command,
They bid him strike, and did direct his Hand
To punish falsehood, and appease the Ghost
Of his poor Father treacherously lost,
Just in the Minute when the flowing Bowl
With a full Tide inlarg'd his Chearful Soul.
Yet kill'd he not his Sister, or his Wife,
Nor aim'd at any near Relation's Life:
Orestes, in the Heat of all his Rage,
Ne're play'd, or Sung upon a publick Stage;
Never on Verse did his wild Thoughts employ,
To paint the horrid Scene of burning Troy,

163

Like Nero, who to raise his Fancy higher,
And finish the great Work, set Rome on Fire.
Such Crimes make Treason just, and might compel
Virginius, Vindex, Galba, to Rebel:
For what cou'd Nero's self have acted worse,
To aggravate the Wretched Nation's Curse.
These are the blest Endowments, Studies, Arts,
Which Exercise our mighty Emperour's parts;
Such Frollicks with his Roving Genius suit,
On Forreign Theaters to prostitute
His Voice and Honour, for the poor Renown
Of putting all the Grecian Actors down,
And winning at a Wake their Parsley-Crown.
Let this Triumphal Chaplet find some place
Among the other Trophies of thy Race;
By the Domitii's Statues shall be laid
The Habit and the Mask in which you play'd
Antigone's, or bold Thyestes part,
(While your wild Nature little wanted Art)
And on the Marble Pillar shall be hung
The Lute to which the Royal Madman Sung.
Who, Catiline, can boast a Nobler Line,
Than thy lewd Friend Cethegus his, and thine?
Yet you took Arms, and did by Night conspire
To set our Houses, and our Gods on Fire:

164

(An Enterprise which might indeed become
Our Enemies, the Gauls, not Sons of Rome,
To recompence whose Barbarous intent
Pitch'd Shirts wou'd be too mild a Punishment)
But Tully, our wise Consul, watch'd the blow,
With care discover'd, and disarm'd the Foe:
Tully, the humble Mushroom, scarcely known:
The lowly Native of a Country Town,
(Who till of late cou'd never reach the height
Of being Honour'd as a Roman Knight)
Throughout the trembling City plac'd a Guard,
Dealing an equal share to every Ward,
And by the peaceful Robe got more renown
Within our Walls, than Young Octavius won
By Victories at Actium, or the Plain
Of Thessaly discolour'd by the Slain:
Him therefore Rome in gratitude decreed
The Father of his Country, which he freed.
Marius (another Consul we admire)
In the same Village Born, first Plow'd for Hire;
His next Advance was to the Souldiers Trade,
Where, if he did not nimbly ply the Spade,
His Surly Officer ne're fail'd to Crack
His Knotty Cudgel on his tougher back.
Yet he alone secur'd the tott'ring State,
Withstood the Cimbrians, and redeem'd our Fate:

165

So when the Eagles to their Quarry flew
(Who never such a Goodly Banquet knew)
Only a second Lawrel did adorn
His Collegue Catulus, tho Nobly Born;
He shar'd the Pride of the Triumphal Bay,
But Marius won the Glory of the Day.
From a mean Stock the Pious Decii came,
Small their Estates, and Vulgar was their Name;
Yet such their Virtue, that their Loss alone
For Rome and all our Legions did Attone;
Their Countries Doom, they by their own, retriev'd,
Themselves more worth than all the Host they sav'd.
The last good King whom willing Rome obey'd,
Was the poor Offspring of a Captive Maid;
Yet he those Robes of Empire justly bore
Which Romulus our Sacred Founder wore:
Nicely he gain'd, and well Possest the Throne,
Not for his Father's Merits but his own,
And Reign'd, himself a Family alone.
When Tarquin, his proud Successor, was quell'd,
And with him Lust and Tyranny expell'd;
The Consuls Sons (who for their Countries good,
And to Inhaunce the Honour of their Blood,
Shou'd have asserted what their Father won;
And, to confirm that Liberty, have done
Actions which Cocles might have wish'd his own;

166

What might to Mutius wonderful appear;
And what bold Clelia might with Envy hear)
Open'd the Gates, endeavouring to restore
Their Banish'd King, and Arbitrary Power.
Whilst a poor Slave, with scarce a Name, betray'd
The horrid Ills these well-born Rogues had laid;
Who therefore for their Treason justly bore
The Rods and Ax, ne're us'd in Rome before.
If you have strength Achilles Arms to bear,
And Courage to sustain a Ten Years War;
Tho foul Thersites got thee, thou shalt be
More lov'd by all, and more esteem'd by me,
Than if by chance you from some Hero came,
In nothing like your Father but his Name.
Boast then your Blood, and your long Lineage stretch
As high as Rome, and its great Founders reach;
You'll find, in these Hereditary Tales,
Your Ancestors the scum of broken Jayls:
And Romulus, your Honours Ancient source,
But a Poor Shepherds Boy, or something worse.
The End of the Eight Satyr.