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A step to Stir-Bitch-Fair

with remarks upon the University of Cambridge [by Edward Ward]

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5

SONG.

[Tho' I am an Old Man, I have Wealth and Riches]

Tho' I am an Old Man, I have Wealth and Riches;
And besides Money, I've something in my Breeches:
And dare to hold a Young Man, a Guinea to a Shilling,
I can please a Young Wench, if she be but willing.

6

[Take Care thou do'st thy self no wrong]

Take Care thou do'st thy self no wrong,
Drink no small Beer when thou hast Strong;
And further do thy self this Right,
Eat no Brown Bread if thou hast White;
And if the Mistress thou can'st Bed,
Besure thou do'st not kiss the Maid.
Show not thy Wife thy utmost Strength,
Nor let her know thy Purses Length;
Never be Bonnd for any Friend,
But rather far thy Money Lend;
For thou wilt find 'tis better he
Should break or be undone, than thee;
Trust no Man that is Proud and Poor,
Unless thou wilt forgive the Score;
For he will neither Pay nor own,
The Kindness thou to him hast shown;
Be just and grateful to thy Friend,
'Twill make thee happy in the end;
But if thy self and thine thoud'st save,
Take Care thou deal'st not with a Knave:
Trust not thy Wife, tho' near so good,
With no Man but thy Self abroad.
For if thou do'st, e'er she returns,
Thy Forehead may be deck'd with Horns:
What I have said do thou retain,
So Kiss the Horns, and say, Amen.

9

[Good Barly makes good Mault]

Good Barly makes good Mault,
Good Mault makes this good Liquor;
Which has no other Fault,
Unless it's so strong,
'Twill Fuddle e'er long,
Both me and my Brother Vicar.

10

[Hush, (says the Parson) Wife remember this]

Hush, (says the Parson) Wife remember this,
Words are not well, in things that are amiss.

12

[Old Cambridge brings forth Men of Learning and Parts]

Old Cambridge brings forth Men of Learning and Parts,
Dame Natures dark Laws to unriddle;
And Since she's the Midwife of Science and Arts,
'Tis fit she be known by a Cradle.

[Where Women, doubtless, are possest]

Where Women, doubtless, are possest,
Of Faculties discerning;
Since they (kind Souls) so oft are Blest,
With Men of Parts and Learning.
One Pulpit's Common to the Gown,
For Teachers to be seen in;
But they have Numbers in the Town,
Where Preachers oft have been in.
All standing stifly to their Text,
Till clear'd the Point most fairly;
Whilst those they 'nstruct are never vext,
But when they've done too Early.

15

[So a Proud Minx does lead about]

So a Proud Minx does lead about,
Of Humble Curs the Am'rous Rout.

16

[Over thy Head I ring this Bell]

Over thy Head I ring this Bell,
Because thou art an Infidel;
And I have found thee out by th'Smell:
With a Eloxius Doxius call upon him,
That no Vengeance may Light on him.