University of Virginia Library

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Laughing Song.

(Speaking).
Moderate laughing is the best medicine in the world, except when you burst your Sides. A friend of mine was taken before a magist rate the other day, who observ'd to the prisoner, “How do you live?” Pretty, well, sir; generally a joint of meat and a pudding for dinner. “I mean, how do you get your Bread?” Sometimes at the baker's, and sometimes at the uxter's shop. “You may be as witty as you please; but I simply mean, how do you do?” Pretty well, I thank you; how are you?

(Speaking).
Men have been wise different ways; but they always laugh'd the same way. Can you tell me why my wig is like a giblet pye? Why? because it has a goose's head in it.

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(Speaking).
Laugh and be fat is a saying of old. Come, let's laugh a bit. Oh, you can't? then I'll tell you a story.—A clergyman taking a ride, overtook a country boy with a small basket, containing red ruddle to mark sheep with: Having a dirty lane to go through, the parson humanely bad the boy get up behind him, and he wou'd give him some instructions; adding, between every sentence, “Mark me well, boy.” I will sir. Having got to the end of the lane, and the end of his task, he says to the boy, “Mark me well; do you hear?” I can't mark you any more, maister; I've us'd all the ruddle.

(Speaking).
Traveling through Ireland, I overheard the following dialogue: Holloo, house! “I don't know any of that name.” Are you the master of the inn? “Yes, sir, please your honour, when my wife's from home.” Have you any porter? “Yes, sir; Pat's an excellent porter; he'll go any where.” I mean, porter to drink “Oh, sir, he'd drink the ocean; never fear him for that.” Have you a bill of fare?” Yes sir; the fair of Mollingar and Ballinaslee are the next week.” Have you any fish? “They call myself an odd fish.” I think so; but I hope you are no shark. “No sir; indeed I'm not a lawyer.” Have you any wine? “Yes, sir, all kinds; from Irish white wine (butter-milk) to burgundy.” Have you any mountain? “Yes, sir; this country is full of mountains.” Have you any wild fowl? “Yes sir; but they are tame enough now, they have been kill'd these four days.” I must see myself. “And welcome, sir; I'll fetch you the looking glass.