University of Virginia Library

3. THE Third Volume OF THE WORKS OF Mr. Thomas Brown, Serious and Comical, In Prose and Verse.

AMUSEMENTS Serious and Comical, Calculated for the Meridian of London.

Amusement I.

[Stout should his Heart, and thoughtful be his Head]

Stout should his Heart, and thoughtful be his Head,
That would in slippery Paths with Judgment tread,
And tempt the Dangers which on Courts attend,
A smiling En'my, and a treach'rous Friend,
As he of great Preferments waits the Call,
Certain to slip, and almost sure to fall.

Amusement III.

[This Fabrick which at first was built]

This Fabrick which at first was built,
To be God's House of Pray'r,
And not to pamper Priests in Guilt,
Or hold a sleeping Mayor;
Once perish'd by the vengeful Flame,
Which all its Beauties raz'd,
Nor could its awful Patron's Name
Protect the Pile it grac'd.
But as it fell before, by Fire,
Which then destroy'd it whole,
So now to Heav'n its Heights aspire,
And rise again by Coal.

[When Job contending with the Devil I saw]

[Reader, beneath this Turf I lie]

Reader, beneath this Turf I lie,
And hold my self content,
Piss, if you please, pray what care I,
Since now my Life is spent:
A Marble Stone indeed might keep
My Body from the Weather,
And gather People as I sleep,
And call more Fools together:
But hadst thou been from whence I came,
Thou'dst never mince the matter,
But shew thy Sentiments the same,
And hate Stone-Doublets after.
I'm dead, and that's enough t'acquaint
A Man of any Sense,
That if he's looking for a Saint,
He must go farther hence.
Between two Roses down I fell,
As 'twixt two Stools a Platter;
One held me up exceeding well
T'other did no such matter:
The Rose by Temple-Bar gave Wine,
Exchang'd for Chalk; and fill'd me,
But being for the Ready Coin,
The Rose in Wood-street kill'd me.

Amusement VI.

GALLANTRY.

Our God and Soldier we alike adore,
Just at the brink of Danger, not before;
After Deliverance, they're alike requited,
Our God's forgotten, and our Soldier's slighted.

A Declamation in Defence of Gaming against Drunkenness.

[O charming Cask of sprightly Wine]

O charming Cask of sprightly Wine,
Whose Life bears equal Date with mine;
Born both upon the Latian Shore,
When Manlius Rome's great Taxes bore;
Whether from thee Complaints arise,
Or Wit around the Table flies,
Or jarring Quarrels intervene,
Or sickly Love, or biting Spleen,
Or from thy friendly Vapours creep
Upon my Temples easie Sleep, &c.

Æneas Sylvius's Satyr on The Women of the Town

[Now do I know what 'tis that LOVE we name]

Now do I know what 'tis that LOVE we name,
Born among Rocks, from Rhodope he came,
Or Thracian Ismarus, or Garamant Extream:
Not from our Race has sprung the fatal Boy,
Who only does our Happiness destroy, &c.

Letters to Gentlemen and Ladies.

The Answer.

In all Love's Dominions I challenge the Boy
To shew such a forward frank Lover as I:
So faithful and true where my Promise is past,
At the first so sincere, and so warm at the last.
Imprimis, I've sworn true Allegiance to Phillis;
And the same I have done to divine Amarillis:
Then to Cælia the Fair I my Heart did resign;
Next I laid down the Trifle at Iris's Shrine.
Calista then gently put in for the Prize,
Nor did the coy Sylvia my Off'ring despise.
But now you'll enquire, can they all quarter there?
Why, Madam, my Heart's large enough, never fear.
There's room for my Phillis,
And soft Amarillis:
And Cælia the Fair,
Who need not despair
Of a good Lodging there:
With Iris, Calista, and Sylvia beside.
Yes, Madam, this oft by Experience I've try'd.
So large is the Place, and so plenteous my Store,
I with Ease can provide for six Mistresses more;
Nay, if you distrust me, e'en send me a Score.

A Walk round London and Westminster.

Upon OLD MAN's and YOUNG MAN's COFFEE-HOUSES.

[Nature, in Pity to our Pain]

Nature, in Pity to our Pain,
And with design to ease us,
Has to her boundless Beauty joyn'd
A boundless Will to please us.

[Their Care and Pains the Fair-ones do bestow]

Their Care and Pains the Fair-ones do bestow,
Not to please God above, but Man below;
Who thinks them Saints, are damnably mistook,
They're only Saints and Angels in their Look.

[The Ladies here, their Lovers Hearts]

The Ladies here, their Lovers Hearts,
By their Devotion win;
Tho' all is Rock and Stone without,
Yet all is soft within.

[Fond Isra'l after Brazen Idols whor'd]

Fond Isra'l after Brazen Idols whor'd,
Egyptian Meroe a Cat ador'd,
Fishes and Dogs her impious Zeal implor'd.
No Superstition, surely, cou'd allow
Respect to thee, and none but we cou'd bow
To such a brazen peevish Cur as thou.

St. James's Park.

[The Colonels here in solemn manner meet]

The Colonels here in solemn manner meet,
Not with a full Design the French to beat,
But to consult where they may nicely eat;
What Trusting Mortal sells the noblest Wine,
Where, free from Duns, they may securely dine.

[Tyrant and Traytor then were Names unknown]

Tyrant and Traytor then were Names unknown,
Nor Guards secur'd, nor Fears disturb'd a Throne:
Then Kings enjoy'd a long and happy Reign,
And slept as quiet as the meanest Swain;
Honour'd and Old, to Death did gently bend,
And without Blood to Proserpine descend.

Westminster Abbey.

[All mortal things are subject to decay]

All mortal things are subject to decay,
And when Fate summons, Monarchs must obey.

Upon the Compters.

[Swift of Access is Ceres grizly Son]

Swift of Access is Ceres grizly Son,
His Brazen Gates on ready Hinges turn:
But from Avernus, and the Realms of Night,
Upwards to move, and view the Æthereal Light;
This is the Task ------

The London and Lacedemonian Oracles.

Queries in Metre.

[Self-nam'd Athenians, let it, pray, be shown]

Quest.

Self-nam'd Athenians, let it, pray, be shown,
(For sure 'tis obvious to your mighty Wits)
Why Farts burn blue when through a Candle blown,
And yet that's yellow which the same A---e sh---ts?

[Hail, Bard Divine! unknown, we must adore]

Vol. 5. N. 11.

Hail, Bard Divine! unknown, we must adore,
Thy Eagle Pitch out-soars our haggard Flight:
Our glimm'ring Lamp within will flame no more,
Quench'd by too unsupportable a Light, &c.

[Tell me, ye Men of doughty Quill]