The Works of Richard Owen Cambridge Including several pieces never before published: with an account of his life and character, by his son, George Owen Cambridge |
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 | The Works of Richard Owen Cambridge |  |
349
EPIGRAMS.
1.
[THUS Flavia exclaim'd, when beholding the coffin]
ID CINEREM AUT MANES CREDIS curare SEPULTOS.
Virg.
Virg.
THUS Flavia exclaim'd, when beholding the coffin,
Which her dear loving spouse to the Abbey went off in;
“And why might not I, like the Braminy dames,
“Leap to his dear arms, through the midst of the flames;
“Here, Jenny, go send for a load of dry faggots,;—
“But hold!—They may say these are whimsies or maggots.
“Would it give his dear manes the smallest concern?
“Would his ashes be much discomposed in their urn?
“If I say with St. Paul “Better marry than burn.”
350
2. ON MEETING AT MR. GARRICK'S
An Author very shabbily drest in an old velvet Waistcoat, on which he had sewed Embroidery of a later date.
Three waistcoats, in three distant ages born,
The bard with faded lustre did adorn.
The first in velvet's figured pride surpast;
The next in 'broidery; in both the last.
His purse and fancy could no further go,
To make a third he join'd the former two.
The bard with faded lustre did adorn.
The first in velvet's figured pride surpast;
The next in 'broidery; in both the last.
His purse and fancy could no further go,
To make a third he join'd the former two.
3. QUIN'S DEATH.
Thy death shall provide us a general treat,
At this critical epoch all creatures shall eat.
To thy tomb each voracious insect shall haste,
In thine entrails to batten: luxurious repast!
May the worm be full-gorged in thy liver and heart:
May'st thou surfeit the grub with some delicate part:
May the poet too dine, who adorns thee with verse,
And drunk be the parson who prays by thy herse.
At this critical epoch all creatures shall eat.
To thy tomb each voracious insect shall haste,
In thine entrails to batten: luxurious repast!
May the worm be full-gorged in thy liver and heart:
May'st thou surfeit the grub with some delicate part:
May the poet too dine, who adorns thee with verse,
And drunk be the parson who prays by thy herse.
And fat be the gander who feeds on thy grave. Bath Guide. The last line alludes to a story told of a clergyman, who disgraced himself and his profession by hard drinking, and who boasted, that at a supper after Thomson's funeral, he left Quin drunk under the table, whilst he was able to walk home.
351
4. ACTEON NO CUCKOLD.
I ne'er can agree onThe tale of Acteon,
With a moral so much misapplied;
As by wits who suppose,
They may class him with those,
Who have err'd in the choice of a bride.
But Diana undrest,
Was too tempting a jest,
To be lost on so curious a wag;
So the goddess in wrath
Leap'd out of the bath,
And turn'd the rash youth to a stag,
5. IMITATION OF SHAKSPEARE.
There is a honey-moon in works of Taste,Which gazed on for awhile, grows full and splendid;
But in the wane is wasting to obscurity,
Shorn of its beams by wanton criticism,
Or hourly fading through satiety.
352
6. THE HISTORIAN IN LOVE:
AN IMPROMPTU, On the Author seeing his Daughter reading the Life of Mr. Gibbon, just after she had been assisting Lady Newdigate in a Charity for distressed Ribbon Weavers.
Now Charlotte has done with the Newdigate ribbon,
She gives all her leisure to luminous Gibbon,
Who laments how in Oxford the colleges stunk
Of mild ale, and the pipes of the indolent Monk.
Then soon as the stripling grew up to a Man,
He relates the reception he met at Lausanne.
He begins with the learned and ends with the fair.
—He saw, and he loved—'twas an object so rare,
That all gifts she possest both of nature and art,
And she offer'd her lover a virtuous heart.
So he wish'd to go back to the Mountains to thank her,
But he heard, in his absence, she'd married a banker .
She gives all her leisure to luminous Gibbon,
Who laments how in Oxford the colleges stunk
Of mild ale, and the pipes of the indolent Monk.
Then soon as the stripling grew up to a Man,
He relates the reception he met at Lausanne.
He begins with the learned and ends with the fair.
—He saw, and he loved—'twas an object so rare,
That all gifts she possest both of nature and art,
And she offer'd her lover a virtuous heart.
So he wish'd to go back to the Mountains to thank her,
But he heard, in his absence, she'd married a banker .
This banker was Mons. Neckar, who supplanted the historian in the lady's affections during his absence.
353
7. OCCASIONED BY THE CONDUCT OF THE FRENCH TOWARDS THE POPE IN THE YEAR 1794.
In times of old, at War's imperious call,England has oft “Robb'd Peter to pay Paul.”
France, her enormous reck'ning to defray,
Peter has robb'd, but Paul will never pay.
8. ON SEEING A DECENT-LOOKING YOUNG WOMAN COME DOWN A STAIRCASE IN CLEMENT'S-INN:
A Parody of Jane Shore's Speech. Act 1st. Scene the last.
Yes! Man, that lawless libertine, may sinIn ev'ry corner of St. Clement's-Inn.
But Woman! if she clamber in the dark
The vice-worn staircase of some lawyer's clerk,
A writ of error blots her spotless name;
A habeas corpus ever damns her fame.
354
9. TO A YOUNG FRIEND,
Who complained of one Relation who gave late Breakfasts on account of long Prayers,—and of another who gave bad Dinners.
Our ghostly guides, to Heav'n who point the way,Enjoin this golden precept—Fast and Pray.
How well, O pious youth, thy days are pass'd,
Who pray with Sanctus and with Parcus fast.
10. LINES GIVEN EXTEMPORE
To Doctor Monsey, Physician to Chelsea Hospital, Upon his expressing Surprize that the Scribleriad was not more known and talked of.
Dear doctor, did you ever hear I hadSo piqued myself on the Scribleriad,
That every pensioner of Chelsea,
The learning and the wit should well see;
Enough for me if only one see,
But let that one be doctor Monsey.
355
11. THE FOLLOWING FRENCH LINES
Being put into Mr. Cambridge's Hand, by a Friend who seemed somewhat too partial to this species of French Writing, he was induced to translate them, for the Sake of introducing the two concluding Lines, which expose the false Wit, and give a just Ridicule to the Idea of dying for Love.
Each shepherd falls a victim to your eye,Thrill'd by your notes the birds for envy die;
Henceforth in deserts must you sing alone,
When all the lovers and the bards are gone.
Yet some blind bard may strike the social string;
And a deaf nightingale in safety sing.
356
12.
A NOTE TO THE AUTHOR.
At Church, or at Bushy, your sabbath d'ye spend.Your mind to regale or your morals to mend?
If the former, I leave you the Devil to cheat;
If the latter, I beg to have part of the treat.
HIS ANSWER.
Why your Lordship is now so impatient to search,If I'm passing my hours with the State or the Church,
I was puzzled—but now I perceive, on the whole,
So you get but my news, you don't care for my soul.
13. ON SEEING A TAPESTRY CHAIR-BOTTOM BEAUTIFULLY WORKED BY HIS DAUGHTER FOR MRS. HOLROYD.
While Holroyd may boast of her beautiful bottom,I think of what numberless ills may bespot 'em:
'Tis true they're intended for clean petticoats;
But beware of th' intrusion of bold Sanculottes;
Who, regardless of Charlotte's most elegant stitches,
May rudely sit down without linen or breeches:
Would you know from what quarter the mischief may come,
When the batt'ry's unmask'd then beware of the bomb.
357
14. A TRANSLATION
Of the following Epigram in the Eton collection.
ΛΟΥΚΙΛΛΙΟΥ.
Μυν Ασκληπιαδης ο φιλαργυρος ειδεν ον οικω,Και, τι ποιεις, φησιν, φιλτατε μυ, παρ' εμοι;
Ηδυ δ' ο μυς γελασας, μηδεν, φιλε, φησι, φοβηθης.
Ουχι τροφης παρα σοι χρηζομον, αλλα μονης.
As --- was stepping out of bed,
A lurking Mouse he spies;
And thus, alarm'd with sudden dread,
Aloud to Tony cries:
Tony make haste—the trap prepare—
I see the rascal dodging.—
Friend, quoth the Mouse, you need not fear,
I come but for a lodging;
Nor plant that dreadful engine there,
To catch me by the neck fast;
For surely I had ne'er come here,
If I had wanted breakfast.
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