Poems on Various Subjects with some Essays in Prose, Letters to Correspondents, &c. and A Treatise on Health. By Samuel Bowden |
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The Disappointed Travellers
of Frome:
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 | Poems on Various Subjects |  |
111
The Disappointed Travellers of Frome:
OR, THE Three Professions in Tribulation.
Occasion'd by A Gentleman's inviting some Friends to Dinner; and, tho' of a very hospitable Disposition, through mere Inadvertence forgot the Appointment.
Suadet enim vesana fames.
Virg.
Virg.
A Lawyer, Physician, and reverend Divine,
Were invited abroad in the country to dine,
The weather was pleasant; the season was May,
All nature around them look'd smiling and gay:
The fields, in new liverys ravish'd the view,
And smiling, and gay lookt the travellers too.
Were invited abroad in the country to dine,
The weather was pleasant; the season was May,
All nature around them look'd smiling and gay:
The fields, in new liverys ravish'd the view,
And smiling, and gay lookt the travellers too.
112
Invited to Banquet three miles out of town,
They threw aside business, and books, and the gown.
Overjoy'd with the jaunt—they said to themselves,
Let Coke, Shaw, and Sherlock now sleep on the shelves.
Farewel to concordance, dull statutes, and Mead,
While we feast abroad, let the pale student read,
They thought it far best, to relax, and to roam,
And pity'd their pensive companions at home.
They threw aside business, and books, and the gown.
Overjoy'd with the jaunt—they said to themselves,
Let Coke, Shaw, and Sherlock now sleep on the shelves.
Farewel to concordance, dull statutes, and Mead,
While we feast abroad, let the pale student read,
They thought it far best, to relax, and to roam,
And pity'd their pensive companions at home.
Thus forward they march'd, amus'd with chit-chat,
The Rebels—Don Carlos—the Dutch and all that:
Much pleas'd with the prospect this time of the year,
But more with the thoughts of approaching good cheer.
As the walk now grew less—their hunger wax'd more,
They think of full dishes, and bowls running o'er.
Anticipate all the delights of the feast,
And smell fancy'd fumes, full a furlong at least:
Imagine they see a table well spread;
Here smoakt the fat beef—there lay a calfs head;
The gammon, and fowls, rang'd in order close by,
And lease-hold, wou'd wind up the whole with a pie.
But Lebeck, and corpulent Bently will tell ye,
That chimerical banquets will not fill the belly:
That love is platonic—some stoics declare,
But diet platonic—no mortal can bear.
The Rebels—Don Carlos—the Dutch and all that:
Much pleas'd with the prospect this time of the year,
But more with the thoughts of approaching good cheer.
As the walk now grew less—their hunger wax'd more,
They think of full dishes, and bowls running o'er.
Anticipate all the delights of the feast,
And smell fancy'd fumes, full a furlong at least:
Imagine they see a table well spread;
Here smoakt the fat beef—there lay a calfs head;
The gammon, and fowls, rang'd in order close by,
And lease-hold, wou'd wind up the whole with a pie.
But Lebeck, and corpulent Bently will tell ye,
That chimerical banquets will not fill the belly:
That love is platonic—some stoics declare,
But diet platonic—no mortal can bear.
113
Now the house, their wish'd haven, appear'd to the view,
One adjusted his wig, and another his shoe.
But the parson, much wont to contemplate on high,
Looking up—cou'd no smoak in the chimney descry:
The complaisant Lawyer first knockt at the door,
—Is your master at home, pray?—and lookt so demure.
Lord! Sir, why my master a journey is gone;
And said, he should not be at home 'till anon.
One adjusted his wig, and another his shoe.
But the parson, much wont to contemplate on high,
Looking up—cou'd no smoak in the chimney descry:
The complaisant Lawyer first knockt at the door,
—Is your master at home, pray?—and lookt so demure.
Lord! Sir, why my master a journey is gone;
And said, he should not be at home 'till anon.
Æneas of old, lookt not more like a ghost,
When searching old Ilium, Creusa was lost;
Nor half-famish'd Trojans were so much aghast,
When the Harpys devour'd their rural repast.
When searching old Ilium, Creusa was lost;
Nor half-famish'd Trojans were so much aghast,
When the Harpys devour'd their rural repast.
The thunder-struck pilgrims withdrew very sad,
For hunger, like hemlock, will make a man mad.
The parson declar'd, with a sorowful face,
To fly from engagements shew'd great want of grace.
For hunger, like hemlock, will make a man mad.
The parson declar'd, with a sorowful face,
To fly from engagements shew'd great want of grace.
For first,—Revelation, and Reason allow,
That a promise obliges as much as a vow:
It appears next from Habukkuk chapter the first,
That denounces a breach of performance accurst;—
And thirdly—the fathers—from old Martyr-Justin,
Condemn breach of trust—down to Jerom, and Austin.
And fourthly—Hold, crys Habeas Corpus, we did not come hither,
To join both in fasting, and preaching together.
When Lawyers are hungry—'tis a merciless sign,
Poor criminals hang—for fat judges to dine.
He cou'd prove from the statutes—Wood, Wingate, and Skinner,
That eloping from home, and demurring a dinner;
By defrauding the subject of his natural food,
Was as actual man-slaughter, still understood:
And by Magna Charta's authentic commanding,
Was robbery plain—any wise notwithstanding.
That a promise obliges as much as a vow:
It appears next from Habukkuk chapter the first,
That denounces a breach of performance accurst;—
And thirdly—the fathers—from old Martyr-Justin,
Condemn breach of trust—down to Jerom, and Austin.
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To join both in fasting, and preaching together.
When Lawyers are hungry—'tis a merciless sign,
Poor criminals hang—for fat judges to dine.
He cou'd prove from the statutes—Wood, Wingate, and Skinner,
That eloping from home, and demurring a dinner;
By defrauding the subject of his natural food,
Was as actual man-slaughter, still understood:
And by Magna Charta's authentic commanding,
Was robbery plain—any wise notwithstanding.
But the Doctor declar'd, it was no time for frolic,
And that fasting did often occasion the cholic.
Then he quoted Hippocrates, Galen, and Wynne,
That when food is all out—the wind will rush in.
Tho' Descartes, wou'd never a vacuum allow,
He thought his inside cou'd demonstrate it now.
He shew'd that when passions are rais'd, like a tide,
Disappointed at once, they too soon subside;
As the string of a fiddle, or screw of a jack,
When wound up too high, of a sudden will crack.
And that fasting did often occasion the cholic.
Then he quoted Hippocrates, Galen, and Wynne,
That when food is all out—the wind will rush in.
Tho' Descartes, wou'd never a vacuum allow,
He thought his inside cou'd demonstrate it now.
He shew'd that when passions are rais'd, like a tide,
Disappointed at once, they too soon subside;
As the string of a fiddle, or screw of a jack,
When wound up too high, of a sudden will crack.
Thus having bewail'd their misfortunes alone,
Dire hunger will sharpen men's wits like a hone.
They deem'd it most requisite, not to relate
To their neighbours at home, their tantaliz'd fate:
For shou'd it be known, 'twould increase their chagrin,
To be jeer'd at, like Burton, and Bastwick, and Prynn;
And by consequence very much add to their load,
To be banter'd at home, and famish'd abroad:
But by Gown, and Cassock,—Diploma,—and Seal,
They vow'd full revenge for the loss of their meal.
Dire hunger will sharpen men's wits like a hone.
They deem'd it most requisite, not to relate
To their neighbours at home, their tantaliz'd fate:
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To be jeer'd at, like Burton, and Bastwick, and Prynn;
And by consequence very much add to their load,
To be banter'd at home, and famish'd abroad:
But by Gown, and Cassock,—Diploma,—and Seal,
They vow'd full revenge for the loss of their meal.
Thus vex'd at their fortune, and bilkt of their feast,
Travell'd home in the dumps, Lawyer, Doctor, and Priest.
Travell'd home in the dumps, Lawyer, Doctor, and Priest.
April 1746.
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