The footman's friendly advice To his Brethren of the Livery; And to all Servants in General: ... To which is Prefix'd, An Introduction, humbly Submitted to the Consideration of all Noblemen, Gentlemen, and Ladies, who keep many Servants. Also a postscript, In Answer To Squire Moreton's Pamphlet, Intituled, Every Body's Business is no Body's. By R. D. [i.e. Robert Dodsley] |
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 | The footman's friendly advice |  |
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SERVITUDE: A POEM.
SERVITUDE.
Brothers in Servitude attend the Song,To you its Precepts and its Rules belong.
Wholesome Advice the friendly Muse indites,
And for your Good your Fellow-Servant writes.
Not that I think my self compleat or free
From those Defects which I in others see:
But Priests, you know, 'gainst Drunkenness will cry,
Yet from the Pulpit to the Tavern fly;
So I by Precept, not Example, shew
What 'tis we ought to be, and what we ought to do.
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HONESTY.
First, let strict Justice in our Breasts reside,
And Truth and Honesty our Actions guide:
Let no Temptations draw us to abuse
The Trust which Masters in our Faith repose;
Reflect how vile, how base 'twou'd be to cheat
The Man who cloaths us, and whose Bread we eat.
Then, to be branded with the odious Name
Of one not to be trusted, spoils our Fame.
What Master can commend us when we go?
Or who will keep us when they find us so?
For find us out they surely will at last,
Some Circumstance mismanag'd in our Haste
The Crime betrays, or some malicious Eye,
Watchful of Mischief does the Fault descry.
Or grant you are so dext'rous in Deceit,
As undiscover'd to go thro' the Cheat,
Yet future Strife with Partners may reveal
The latent Crime, and all the Secret tell:
Strait your discharg'd, your Reputation lost,
Nor can you hope to gain a second Post.
And Truth and Honesty our Actions guide:
Let no Temptations draw us to abuse
The Trust which Masters in our Faith repose;
Reflect how vile, how base 'twou'd be to cheat
The Man who cloaths us, and whose Bread we eat.
Then, to be branded with the odious Name
Of one not to be trusted, spoils our Fame.
What Master can commend us when we go?
Or who will keep us when they find us so?
For find us out they surely will at last,
Some Circumstance mismanag'd in our Haste
The Crime betrays, or some malicious Eye,
Watchful of Mischief does the Fault descry.
Or grant you are so dext'rous in Deceit,
As undiscover'd to go thro' the Cheat,
Yet future Strife with Partners may reveal
The latent Crime, and all the Secret tell:
Strait your discharg'd, your Reputation lost,
Nor can you hope to gain a second Post.
Not so the honest Man, his peaceful Breast,
Nor Doubts, nor Fears, nor guilty Thoughts molest;
Just his Designs, his Actions all are just,
He gains his Master's Love, Esteem, and Trust.
Int'rest, that sly Seducer of the Will,
Can never move his steady Soul to Ill.
Nor is he just but in his Master's View,
When Fear of being caught may keep him true.
Absent or present, 'tis the very same;
He shuns the Guilt more than he dreads the Shame
And scorns to act, tho' safe, a Thing that merits Blame.
Thus after long Experience oft has prov'd
His steady Virtue is not to be moved,
Of his known Faithfulness so well assur'd,
From Fears of Fraud his Master rests secur'd:
And, should Occasion happen, in his Breast,
His Gold, his Secrets, or his Life might rest.
This gains us Love, by this alone we climb
Up to our Master's Favour and Esteem:
And, if it ever in his Power lie,
A better Post rewards our long Fidelity.
Nor Doubts, nor Fears, nor guilty Thoughts molest;
Just his Designs, his Actions all are just,
He gains his Master's Love, Esteem, and Trust.
Int'rest, that sly Seducer of the Will,
Can never move his steady Soul to Ill.
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When Fear of being caught may keep him true.
Absent or present, 'tis the very same;
He shuns the Guilt more than he dreads the Shame
And scorns to act, tho' safe, a Thing that merits Blame.
Thus after long Experience oft has prov'd
His steady Virtue is not to be moved,
Of his known Faithfulness so well assur'd,
From Fears of Fraud his Master rests secur'd:
And, should Occasion happen, in his Breast,
His Gold, his Secrets, or his Life might rest.
This gains us Love, by this alone we climb
Up to our Master's Favour and Esteem:
And, if it ever in his Power lie,
A better Post rewards our long Fidelity.
CAREFULNESS.
But Honesty, tho' highly to be priz'd,
As that in which most Virtues are compriz'd;
Is not, alone, sufficient to compleat
Him, who in Servitude must earn his Meat.
'Tis not enough that we ourselves are true,
We must take Care that others are so too;
For should we be unmindful of our Trust,
'Tis much the same, as if we were unjust:
If others cheat, embezzle, and purloin,
Through my Neglect, the Fault as much is mine,
As if I actually with them combine.
For Masters on our Care as much rely,
As on our Justice and Integrity:
Therefore to them it is the self-same Cheat,
Or done by Carelesness, or by Deceit.
As that in which most Virtues are compriz'd;
Is not, alone, sufficient to compleat
Him, who in Servitude must earn his Meat.
'Tis not enough that we ourselves are true,
We must take Care that others are so too;
For should we be unmindful of our Trust,
'Tis much the same, as if we were unjust:
If others cheat, embezzle, and purloin,
Through my Neglect, the Fault as much is mine,
As if I actually with them combine.
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As on our Justice and Integrity:
Therefore to them it is the self-same Cheat,
Or done by Carelesness, or by Deceit.
Daniel Decant an honest Butler was,
As ever tapp'd a Cask, or fill'd a Glass;
He never wrong'd his Master of a Cup,
And, for his own Part, rarely drank a Sup:
But Daniel, now and then, if call'd away,
In heedless Haste runs and forgets his Key.
This in the Door the thirsty Coachman spies;
He tips the Wink to Tom, Tom minds his Eyes;
Joyful down Stairs they haste, their Thirst appease,
And three or four the largest Bottles seize,
Which to a private Hole convey'd by Stealth,
Serve at convenient Times to drink poor Daniel's Health.
Here Daniel cheats his Master by Neglect,
As much as if he really did the Fact;
For so much Wine, if from his Cellar gone,
Is so much Loss, which Way soe'er 'tis done.
Let us be careful then as well as just,
So shall our Masters safely us intrust.
As ever tapp'd a Cask, or fill'd a Glass;
He never wrong'd his Master of a Cup,
And, for his own Part, rarely drank a Sup:
But Daniel, now and then, if call'd away,
In heedless Haste runs and forgets his Key.
This in the Door the thirsty Coachman spies;
He tips the Wink to Tom, Tom minds his Eyes;
Joyful down Stairs they haste, their Thirst appease,
And three or four the largest Bottles seize,
Which to a private Hole convey'd by Stealth,
Serve at convenient Times to drink poor Daniel's Health.
Here Daniel cheats his Master by Neglect,
As much as if he really did the Fact;
For so much Wine, if from his Cellar gone,
Is so much Loss, which Way soe'er 'tis done.
Let us be careful then as well as just,
So shall our Masters safely us intrust.
OBEDIENCE.
Next, as we're Servants, Masters at our HandsExpect Obedience to all just Commands;
Which, if we rightly think, is but their Due,
Nor more than we in Reason ought to do.
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Theirs is our Time, our Hands, our Head, our Feet:
We think, design, and act at their Command,
And, as their Pleasure varies, walk or stand;
Whilst we receive the covenanted Hire,
Active Obedience justly they require:
If we dislike, and think it too severe,
We're free to leave, and seek a Place elsewhere.
DILIGENCE.
Of Diligence I now proceed to sing:
O may the Muse perswasive Influence bring!
And one would think few Words might serve t'enforce,
Because th'Advantage 'rising from't is ours.
But some, I doubt, are so with Sloth possest,
They can't embrace it, tho' they know 'tis best;
Loitering they stand, their Business all to do,
'Till the last Pinch, and then they slur it thro'
Half done, half undone, and amidst their Throng,
'Tis ten to one, but something is done wrong.
O may the Muse perswasive Influence bring!
And one would think few Words might serve t'enforce,
Because th'Advantage 'rising from't is ours.
But some, I doubt, are so with Sloth possest,
They can't embrace it, tho' they know 'tis best;
Loitering they stand, their Business all to do,
'Till the last Pinch, and then they slur it thro'
Half done, half undone, and amidst their Throng,
'Tis ten to one, but something is done wrong.
Not so Jack Swift; he lays a Method down,
Proceeds in Business regularly on,
And follows it with Vigour 'till 'tis done.
One Hour for this, and one for that ordains,
Nor lets th'appointed Time slip idly thro' his Hands.
His Business thus pursu'd by just Degrees,
Is soonest done, and done with greatest Ease;
For when a constant Application's us'd,
Tho' full employ'd we never are confus'd;
We never seem embarrass'd with our Throng,
Nor run so much the Risque of doing wrong:
We thus for all Contingencies prepare,
Whatever happens we have Time to spare.
But he who to the last his Business drives,
If any unexpected Thing arrives,
His Master's forc'd to eat with half-clean'd Knives.
Which, if he chance to see, and blames the Crime,
His best Excuse is—Sir, I had no Time.
I did not know of This, and That, and That:
But trust me, Brothers, this is idle Chat;
Such lame Excuses won't the Fault attone,
Masters expect to have their Business done.
Expect that we should think, and have Regard.
To what but may be, and so stand prepar'd.
Proceeds in Business regularly on,
And follows it with Vigour 'till 'tis done.
One Hour for this, and one for that ordains,
Nor lets th'appointed Time slip idly thro' his Hands.
His Business thus pursu'd by just Degrees,
Is soonest done, and done with greatest Ease;
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Tho' full employ'd we never are confus'd;
We never seem embarrass'd with our Throng,
Nor run so much the Risque of doing wrong:
We thus for all Contingencies prepare,
Whatever happens we have Time to spare.
But he who to the last his Business drives,
If any unexpected Thing arrives,
His Master's forc'd to eat with half-clean'd Knives.
Which, if he chance to see, and blames the Crime,
His best Excuse is—Sir, I had no Time.
I did not know of This, and That, and That:
But trust me, Brothers, this is idle Chat;
Such lame Excuses won't the Fault attone,
Masters expect to have their Business done.
Expect that we should think, and have Regard.
To what but may be, and so stand prepar'd.
Of SUBMISSION to REBUKES.
Submission next must an Admittance find,The humble Liv'ry of a Servant's Mind;
By which we ought to be distinguish'd more,
Than by the Liveries on our Bodies wore:
For Haughtiness and Pride but ill agrees
With one whose Duty 'tis to serve and please.
Not that we should submit to bear the Blame
For others Crimes, and, Guiltless, suffer Shame;
We are not bound to hear ourselves abus'd,
Falsly calumniated and accus'd.
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To speak a Word to clear our Innocence.
This is not what I mean; 'tis only Words,
Or odd peculiar Humours of our Lords:
For Humours all Mankind, or more or less,
Of one or of another kind possess.
A different Temper in each Mind's display'd,
All have their Ways, and all will be obey'd:
And let me ask one Question; Is it fit
That they to us, or we to them, submit?
Must they to pleasure us their Passions sway,
And every little Humour cast away;
Or we to pleasure them, those Whims obey?
No, we with Patience must such Ills endure,
For not by changing can we find a Cure.
NEATNESS.
But hitherto we've only had RespectTo what concerns the Mind or Intellect:
'Tis true, internal Qualities conduce
To greater Ends, and are of greater Use,
Than those which only serve for outward Show,
As powder'd Wiggs, clean Shirts, and such like do:
Yet these are necessary, and 'tis fit,
That those, whom Time and Business will permit,
Appear before their Masters always clean and neat.
But don't ye run into affected Ways,
And apish Gestures practis'd now-a-days;
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Respectful and well-bred, but not precise.
Preserve a Mean; yet of the two Extreams,
A Fop less odious than a Sloven seems.
Of Receiving and Delivering MESSAGES.
Though this may seem an easy Thing to do,
I fancy it may bear a Word or two:
Nay, I believe there's some are glad to own,
That it's as nice a Point as any one.
Sam Shoulder-knot was one, who us'd to swear,
He'd sooner take a Cause from Westminster,
Or bring a Sermon from the Church Verbatim,
Than take a Message from my Lady F***.
My Lady call'd me up, says Sam, one Day,
Go Sam, says she, and look'd another Way,
Go to my Lady Trifle's, and d'ye hear,
Tell her I'm just a-going she knows where;
And, if she think it proper, when I'm out,
I'll see the Party whom she spoke about
At Madam L***'s, she'll know who you mean,
And ask if Mistress P*** be within,
And tell her Mr. F***'s in Town,
And would be glad, if he cou'd do't unknown,
To see Miss B***, before he goeth down,
And let me see, ***.
I fancy it may bear a Word or two:
Nay, I believe there's some are glad to own,
That it's as nice a Point as any one.
Sam Shoulder-knot was one, who us'd to swear,
He'd sooner take a Cause from Westminster,
Or bring a Sermon from the Church Verbatim,
Than take a Message from my Lady F***.
My Lady call'd me up, says Sam, one Day,
Go Sam, says she, and look'd another Way,
Go to my Lady Trifle's, and d'ye hear,
Tell her I'm just a-going she knows where;
And, if she think it proper, when I'm out,
I'll see the Party whom she spoke about
At Madam L***'s, she'll know who you mean,
And ask if Mistress P*** be within,
And tell her Mr. F***'s in Town,
And would be glad, if he cou'd do't unknown,
To see Miss B***, before he goeth down,
And let me see, ***.
HERE she run on, quoth Sam, to something new,
But not worth while repeating now to you;
And so confounded me before she'd done,
That I scarce knew what she'd been talking on.
But not worth while repeating now to you;
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That I scarce knew what she'd been talking on.
Tho' this may be the Case of one or two,
I can't believe that there are many so;
Our Blunders and Mistakes more oft proceed,
I'm apt to think, from want of taking Heed,
From Inattention or Forgetfulness,
Than from our Master's Fault, or Mistress's.
I can't believe that there are many so;
Our Blunders and Mistakes more oft proceed,
I'm apt to think, from want of taking Heed,
From Inattention or Forgetfulness,
Than from our Master's Fault, or Mistress's.
When we receive a Message, if we stand
To hear the Words, and to receive Command,
We think we've done enough, so post away,
Nor till we come to speak think what we have to say,
This causes Hesitation and Surprize,
And thus disorder'd we our Thoughts revise,
And hence Confusion and Mistakes arise.
We want to speak, but know not what to say,
So jumble Things together any Way.
To hear the Words, and to receive Command,
We think we've done enough, so post away,
Nor till we come to speak think what we have to say,
This causes Hesitation and Surprize,
And thus disorder'd we our Thoughts revise,
And hence Confusion and Mistakes arise.
We want to speak, but know not what to say,
So jumble Things together any Way.
To remedy this Evil, first take care
To get the Meaning of the Words you hear;
Find the Design and End for which you're sent,
Think of each Circumstance, and what it meant,
And this will any gross Mistake prevent.
But in some Cases it is necessary,
Each single individual Word to carry;
For sometimes in a Word which may appear
To us, but little or no Weight to bear,
Some secret Hint or Intimation lies,
Unknown to us, nor seen by vulgar Eyes.
To get the Meaning of the Words you hear;
Find the Design and End for which you're sent,
Think of each Circumstance, and what it meant,
And this will any gross Mistake prevent.
But in some Cases it is necessary,
Each single individual Word to carry;
For sometimes in a Word which may appear
To us, but little or no Weight to bear,
Some secret Hint or Intimation lies,
Unknown to us, nor seen by vulgar Eyes.
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DISCRETION.
Discretion next shall fill the humble Theme,
Discretion never fails to gain Esteem.
Tho' there may be more shining Qualities,
Yet none more useful will be found than this:
This guides our Virtues right, and checks our Crimes,
And teaches how to act at proper Times.
Forbids us now to speak, and now commands,
And all our Passions within Bounds restrains:
Learns us with Patience little Ills to bear,
And, unprovok'd, in humble Silence hear,
A peevish Master scold and domineer.
For Words may aggravate a trifling Jarr,
Which Silence would have quench'd, into a lasting War.
Reasons and Arguments are urg'd in vain,
While Passion drives, and Anger holds the Rein:
Wait but a Moment, till the Tempest cease,
Then you may speak, be heard, and clear yourself with Ease.
Discretion never fails to gain Esteem.
Tho' there may be more shining Qualities,
Yet none more useful will be found than this:
This guides our Virtues right, and checks our Crimes,
And teaches how to act at proper Times.
Forbids us now to speak, and now commands,
And all our Passions within Bounds restrains:
Learns us with Patience little Ills to bear,
And, unprovok'd, in humble Silence hear,
A peevish Master scold and domineer.
For Words may aggravate a trifling Jarr,
Which Silence would have quench'd, into a lasting War.
Reasons and Arguments are urg'd in vain,
While Passion drives, and Anger holds the Rein:
Wait but a Moment, till the Tempest cease,
Then you may speak, be heard, and clear yourself with Ease.
Further you're by this useful Virtue taught,
To think beforehand what may be a Fault;
To judge what Consequences may ensue
From what you are about to say or do;
To act with Caution, and with Caution speak,
Nor e'er, without Occasion Silence break:
And when a Question's ask'd, let your Replies
Be pertinent, perspicuous, and concife;
But just enough to make your Meaning clear,
And fit for you to speak, and them to hear.
But above all be careful to conceal
What passes in the House in which you dwell;
Your Master's House his Closet ought to be,
Where all are Secrets which you hear or see:
Things which may seem of smallest Consequence,
Ought not by any Means be carried thence;
For he who indiscreetly babbles small Things,
May be suspected of the same in all Things.
To think beforehand what may be a Fault;
To judge what Consequences may ensue
From what you are about to say or do;
To act with Caution, and with Caution speak,
Nor e'er, without Occasion Silence break:
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Be pertinent, perspicuous, and concife;
But just enough to make your Meaning clear,
And fit for you to speak, and them to hear.
But above all be careful to conceal
What passes in the House in which you dwell;
Your Master's House his Closet ought to be,
Where all are Secrets which you hear or see:
Things which may seem of smallest Consequence,
Ought not by any Means be carried thence;
For he who indiscreetly babbles small Things,
May be suspected of the same in all Things.
These, and yet more untold Advantages,
Guide the Discreet, and teach him how to please:
Teach him with cunning Skill to search and find
The darling Humours of a Master's Mind;
Which once discover'd, we with Ease attain
The Art to please him, and his Favour gain:
These are the chief, but we must add to these,
A thousand other little Niceties,
To Servants only known, which tho' they seem
To some but Trifles, are not so to them.
A Word well-tim'd, or some small Action done,
In which a visible good Meaning shone,
Is oft with secret Approbation seen,
And the first Rise to many a one has been.
Guide the Discreet, and teach him how to please:
Teach him with cunning Skill to search and find
The darling Humours of a Master's Mind;
Which once discover'd, we with Ease attain
The Art to please him, and his Favour gain:
These are the chief, but we must add to these,
A thousand other little Niceties,
To Servants only known, which tho' they seem
To some but Trifles, are not so to them.
A Word well-tim'd, or some small Action done,
In which a visible good Meaning shone,
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And the first Rise to many a one has been.
In short, this Virtue in a Servant's Breast,
Brightens and adds a Value to the rest;
Sets us at work at proper Times, and gives
Rules to our Words, our Actions, and our Lives.
Brightens and adds a Value to the rest;
Sets us at work at proper Times, and gives
Rules to our Words, our Actions, and our Lives.
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FINIS.
| The footman's friendly advice | |