 | Original Poems and Translations |  |
129
A Pair of SPECTACLES.
Of all the spectacles to mend the sight,Devis'd by art for viewing objects right,
Those are most useful, which the prudent place
High on the handle of the human face.
Some on the temples fix 'em, I suppose,
Lest they should seem to snaffle thro' the nose:
Some in one hand the single convex hold,
But these are prigs asham'd of being old.
None are in news or politics so wise,
As he whose nose is saddled with his eyes;
And if the taper tube regale his snout,
There's nought so secret but he'll smell it out.
Should gammer Gurton leave these helps at home,
To church with Bible 'tis in vain to come;
The plainest sermon is the most perplext,
Unless with care she double down the text.
130
By turns now fits 'em to his nose or thumb,
Methodically regular, as need
By turns requires him, or to sing, or read:
His thumb then held them, if report says true,
When on the lovely lass he leer'd askew;
With snow-white bosom bare, sweet-slumbering in her pew.
Those who see dimly may their eyes restore
By adding two to what they had before;
And he who would be deem'd profoundly wise,
Must carry in his head, and in his pocket—eyes.
| Original Poems and Translations | |