Miscellanies in Verse and Prose [by Richardson Pack] |
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An Epistle from a Half-Pay Officer in the Country to his Friend in London, upon Reading the Address of the Two Houses, to thank her Majesty for the Safe, Honourable, and Advantageous Peace.
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 | Miscellanies in Verse and Prose |  |
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An Epistle from a Half-Pay Officer in the Country to his Friend in London, upon Reading the Address of the Two Houses, to thank her Majesty for the Safe, Honourable, and Advantageous Peace.
Ipswich
April 1714.
O Dulces comitum valete cætus,
Longè quos simul à domo profectos,
Diverse variæ viæ reportant.
Catull.
Longè quos simul à domo profectos,
Diverse variæ viæ reportant.
Catull.
Curse on the Star, dear Harry, that betray'd
My Choice from Law, Divinity, or Trade,
To turn a Rambling Brother o'the Blade!
Of all Professions sure the worst is War.
How whimsical our Fortune! how Bizarre!
This Week we shine in Scarlet, and in Gold:
The next the Cloak is pawn'd—The Watch is sold.
To Day we're Company for any Lord:
To Morrow not a Soul will take our Word.
Like Meteors rais'd in a tempestuous Sky,
A while we Glitter, then obscurely Dye.
Must Heroes suffer such Disgrace as This?
O Curst Effects of Honourable Peace!
My Choice from Law, Divinity, or Trade,
To turn a Rambling Brother o'the Blade!
Of all Professions sure the worst is War.
How whimsical our Fortune! how Bizarre!
This Week we shine in Scarlet, and in Gold:
The next the Cloak is pawn'd—The Watch is sold.
To Day we're Company for any Lord:
To Morrow not a Soul will take our Word.
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A while we Glitter, then obscurely Dye.
Must Heroes suffer such Disgrace as This?
O Curst Effects of Honourable Peace!
I, who not long ago indulg'd my Hours
In witty Commerce, or in soft Amours;
And in rich Mulso, Volney, or Champaigne,
Ador'd each Night the Beauties then in Reign;
(Till Arms submitting to the Awful Gown,
Our Troops were forc'd to abdicate the Town,)
Must now retire, and languish out my Days
Far from the Roads of Pleasure, or of Praise:
Quit sweet Hyde-Park for dull Provincial Air;
And change the Play-House for a Country-Fair:
With sneaking Parsons beastly Bumpers quaff;
At low Conceits, and vile Conundrums laugh;
Toast to the Church, and talk of Right Divine;
And Herd with Squires—more noisy than their Swine.
Must Heroes suffer such Disgrace as This?
O Curst Effects of Honourable Peace!
In witty Commerce, or in soft Amours;
And in rich Mulso, Volney, or Champaigne,
Ador'd each Night the Beauties then in Reign;
(Till Arms submitting to the Awful Gown,
Our Troops were forc'd to abdicate the Town,)
Must now retire, and languish out my Days
Far from the Roads of Pleasure, or of Praise:
Quit sweet Hyde-Park for dull Provincial Air;
And change the Play-House for a Country-Fair:
With sneaking Parsons beastly Bumpers quaff;
At low Conceits, and vile Conundrums laugh;
Toast to the Church, and talk of Right Divine;
And Herd with Squires—more noisy than their Swine.
Must Heroes suffer such Disgrace as This?
O Curst Effects of Honourable Peace!
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There was a Time—Oh! yes there was a Time—
(E'er Poverty made Luxury a Crime,)
When Marigolds in Porridge were a Jest;
And Soups were us'd to introduce the Feast.
Then French Ragouts were Orthodox and Good;
And Trufles held no Heresy in Food.
Nor to eat Mackarel was judg'd High-Treason,
Tho' Goosberries as yet were not in Season.
But under H---ley's frugal Dispensation,
These Vanities require a Reformation.
Scourg'd by his Wand, and Humbled by his Sway,
I've learn'd to suit my Diet to my Pay;
And Now can sanctify, with solemn Face,
A heavy Dumpling with a formal Grace.
In Aukward Plenty slovenly I Dine:
And nappy Ale supplies the want of Wine.
No nice Disserts my learned Palate please.
To fill up Chinks—a Slice of Suffolk-Cheese.
And must then Heroes Nibble Suffolk-Cheese?
O Curst Effects of Honourable Peace!
(E'er Poverty made Luxury a Crime,)
When Marigolds in Porridge were a Jest;
And Soups were us'd to introduce the Feast.
Then French Ragouts were Orthodox and Good;
And Trufles held no Heresy in Food.
Nor to eat Mackarel was judg'd High-Treason,
Tho' Goosberries as yet were not in Season.
But under H---ley's frugal Dispensation,
These Vanities require a Reformation.
Scourg'd by his Wand, and Humbled by his Sway,
I've learn'd to suit my Diet to my Pay;
And Now can sanctify, with solemn Face,
A heavy Dumpling with a formal Grace.
In Aukward Plenty slovenly I Dine:
And nappy Ale supplies the want of Wine.
No nice Disserts my learned Palate please.
To fill up Chinks—a Slice of Suffolk-Cheese.
And must then Heroes Nibble Suffolk-Cheese?
O Curst Effects of Honourable Peace!
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But ah! the hardest Part is still behind—
The Fair too, Gentle Harry, prove unkind.
Think then how wretchedly my Life must pass!
For what's this World, my Friend, without a Lass?
Poor be my Lot, Inglorious be my State,
Give me but—Woman, I'll absolve my Fate.
But 'tis in vain.—
Th' ungrateful Sex, as senseless as unjust,
To feed their Pride, will even starve their Lust:
And fool'd by Equipage and empty Show,
Quit the Tough Soldier for the Lathy Beau.
I, who so oft their forward Zeal have show'd,
And in their Service spent my warmest Blood,
Am Now reduc'd, (hard Fate!) for want of Pelf,
To fight the Jesuit's Battle by my self.
Must Heroes suffer such Disgrace as This?
O Curst Effects of Honourable Peace!
The Fair too, Gentle Harry, prove unkind.
Think then how wretchedly my Life must pass!
For what's this World, my Friend, without a Lass?
Poor be my Lot, Inglorious be my State,
Give me but—Woman, I'll absolve my Fate.
But 'tis in vain.—
Th' ungrateful Sex, as senseless as unjust,
To feed their Pride, will even starve their Lust:
And fool'd by Equipage and empty Show,
Quit the Tough Soldier for the Lathy Beau.
I, who so oft their forward Zeal have show'd,
And in their Service spent my warmest Blood,
Am Now reduc'd, (hard Fate!) for want of Pelf,
To fight the Jesuit's Battle by my self.
Must Heroes suffer such Disgrace as This?
O Curst Effects of Honourable Peace!
| Miscellanies in Verse and Prose | |